Your “Today is a Dead News Day” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

It seems that in honour of tonight’s third and final Presidential debate, all NFL news is doom & gloom:

  • Skipping practice: Joe Flacco; Odell Beckham Jr.; Terrelle Prior.
  • Out multiple weeks: Eddie Lacy; Ben Roethlisberger.
  • Fined: Vontaze Burfict – $75000 + no games.
  • Benched: Ryan Fitzpatrick. Welcome back, Geno.
  • Shoulda let Mom make the Chunky: Dez Bryant.

One shining light is that Tyler Eifert – the new poster boy for eliminating the Pro Bowl – has begun practicing with the Bengals.

At the League’s Fall meetings in Houston, the Rams, Raiders & Chargers all gave updates as to their stadium situations. Mark Davis gave updates on both Oakland & Las Vegas, most likely in the Lionel Hutz “truth” and “TRUTH” voices.

Finally, the NFL & NFLPA released a joint statement on the protocol procedures followed after Cam Newton got rocked in the Thursday NFL opener versus the Broncos. You can determine its tl;dr status here. The two main takeaways are that

S-M-R-T
S-M-R-T
  1. Nothing amiss occurred in the sideline evaluation; and
  2. Ed Hochuli was correct in forcing Tyrod Taylor off after his hit.

I’m shocked…SHOCKED that the League would investigate itself and find itself to have done the correct thing. This kind of arrogance & confidence is why no one liked Teflondre.

Despite his kangol tam.
Despite his kangol tam.

Hey! The Blue Jays are out of the playoffs.

 


As usual, not much will happen in the debate tonight. The only important question was asked & answered a month ago by Big Daddy Drew.

what-happens-if-trump-calls-hillary-a-bitch-during-the-debate

 

Fox News’ Chris Wallace is tonight’s moderator. His topics for the debate are: debt and entitlements, immigration, economy, Supreme Court, foreign hot spots, and fitness to be president. I anticipate he’ll be more fair than the average Fox journalist, possibly lulling Trump into a false sense of security. At this point, there’s not much drama, outside of the special guests,

And none of them as beloved.
And none of them as beloved.

 

and tarmac games of chicken.

 

On the Trump side, he’s flying in Malik Obama, Barack’s half-brother (same dad), and Benghazi-truther Patricia Smith, who lost a son in the attack and whose confirmation bias only blames Hillary:

“I know she murdered him … I do hope she will tell me something. I don’t think she will because I don’t think she’s got the guts to tell me what happened (in Benghazi).” (CNN)

Mrs. Clinton is countering with Mark Cuban and Meg Whitman, because who doesn’t have billionaire friends they can fly around on donor dimes?

The tastiest protest of the evening is the “wall of taco trucks” being built in front of trump’s Las Vegas hotel in advance of tonight’s debate at UNLV.

It’s not around the complex, but it does make for an impressive, delicious sight on the one side of the street.

 

Tonight’s sports: (by God, we will need them)

  • Women’s Volleyball:
    • Baylor at Iowa State – 7:00 PM | ESPNU
    • Auburn at Mississippi – 9:00 PM | ESPNU
  • NBA Preseason Basketball: Knicks at Celtics – 7:30 PM | ESPN
  • MLB Playoff: Game 4: Cubs at Dodgers – 8:00 PM | FS1/Sportsnet1
  • NHL Hockey:
    • Red Wings at Rangers – 8:00 PM | OLN
    • Leafs at Jets – 8:00 | Sportsnet
  • Women’s International Friendly Soccer: U.S. vs. Switzerland – 9:00 PM | ESPN2

Plus, don’t forget about the new South Park tonight

It’s been a good season so far. BEWARE TROLL TRACE!

 

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Spur

Trump draws frowny faces on his paper.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I need to refill my booze, but i don’t want to miss and F bomb.
What a dilemma.

WCS

This is why you need to train the dog/cat to refill your booze for you.

...

No DVR?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes, and I could pause….but then I’d be behind you fuckers. LOL.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I got beer in the upstairs fridge.
Woooo!!!!!

...

At least you know what’s important.

Spur

Hillary has a really bad case of Red Scare

Sill Bimmons

It’s the Clintons’ worst blind spot apart from all the domestic policy blind spots.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

MSRA!

Sill Bimmons

MOORSA!

...

SWEET MOTHERFUCKING RELIEF!!

Has Donald turned into a corncob yet? Because that would make this night really nice.

Senor Weaselo

Blue Moon Belgian Table Pils, let’s check it out.

yeah right

Addie!!!!!

Fuck yes!!

Spur

“You’re the puppet!”
“No, you’re the puppet!”

theeWeeBabySeamus

I was about to type that.
Ya jerk ya.
🙂

Sill Bimmons

comment image

Beastmode Ate My Baby

comment image

Sill Bimmons

If I weren’t there would be a lot more incoherent yelling on top of the incoherent yelling I’m already doing.

scotchnaut

HA!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oooooh….this is getting good.
What’s going on in baseball, btw?

Spur

Trump almost said cunt.

WCS

The Donald is careening off the cliff.

Spur

Stay on wikileaks Trump, not that fucking wall!

Sill Bimmons

Seriously, is there a genius Commentist who can turn this…

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_PtgsBOnpJnA/TNxY49nGdvI/AAAAAAAAAW0/jx-FE8MynQA/s1600/effects+of+ego+whip.JPG

…into something that would post?

I forgot how much I love psionic attack tables vis-a-vis teh Commentistiat.

Gratliff

Just change the case of the extension

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

SOFAB

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Ack. Russia again. Such a lousy talking point, really.

Spur

First wikileaks sighting. Hit that scumbag with her own words!

Spur

I don’t care who says it, hit the fucking Clintons on NAFTA.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Problem is, that’s not what the question was about.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

THIS DONALD TRUMP, I CALL HIM LES NESSMAN BECAUSE HE ALWAYS WANTS MORE WALLS.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nice. Banner quote right there.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

I never get banner quotes because the system is rigged.

theeWeeBabySeamus

There it is.

Sill Bimmons

TEH WORST THROW FROM CENTER FIELD EVAR

...

HOLY FUCK IT’S A RUN. A RUN! I REMEMBER THESE!!

Spur

Problem solved: get that drug cash

Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo

Fuck it. What am I drinking, friends?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Tell him that’s not what you said Hillary. Tell him…speak up.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not clearly enough…but better than nothing.

Spur

Planned Parenthood does a lot more than help with abortions

Gratliff

It also grants amnesty to Guatemalans.

Sill Bimmons

And visas to refugees from Pluto.

It’s one thing to have your credit rating downgraded, but your entire planetary status?

Plutonians need third-term abortions now more than ever!

Sill Bimmons

Nah, Chase Utley can’t hit his way out of a paper bag anymore.

http://www.crossingbroad.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Screen-Shot-2013-09-03-at-10.43.39-AM.jpg

Spur

Why does Trump even have 20 % nationally? Well, according to the Clinton Mafia anyone who doesn’t support Hillary is an enemy to be smeared and hated. Clintons are scum people. Obama made a huge mistake letting that fox in the hen house.

Sill Bimmons

Because racism is the default position of 55% of white people?

JustStopDude

Is Trump implying he is going to add extra Supreme Court Judges “two or even three” or is he going to impeach the liberal Supreme Court members?

Gratliff

Trump has no idea how the Supreme Court works.

Senor Weaselo

They’ll do exactly what he says, right?

entropy

He’s just gonna sit em all down in a room and keep shouting “Figure it out!” until they all just remember he can’t make them stay there and they leave.

theeWeeBabySeamus

The little vein in Trump’s temple is starting to throb.

JustStopDude

comment image

JustStopDude

Will Trump use the “C” word?

Spur

Cubs?

yeah right

Jesus fuck Rizzo.

entropy

I just watched five minutes of the Cubs game and saw the Dodgers get absolutely fucked over by the Ump AND the replay. That was just NBA-officiating levels of pushing forward the series the League wants to see, truth be damned. Awful. Just awful.

So, rather than get annoyed at blatant cheating and insults to viewers’ intelligence, I’m gonna continue on my re-read of Black House, do some truly light reading and general fucking around on the internet, and spend some time with you bastards.

In short, good evening, folks. How’s your world?

...

/chugs malort

Gratliff

8 minutes left til the yelling

Sill Bimmons

Haven’t done this in a while, but since tonight’s debate is nothing but an Ego Whip, it’s time to add your Intelligence and Wisdom and roll 10d10 for effect:

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_PtgsBOnpJnA/TNxY49nGdvI/AAAAAAAAAW0/jx-FE8MynQA/s1600/effects+of+ego+whip.JPG

Sill Bimmons

GAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH FYWPFYWPFYWPFYWP

Senor Weaselo

You rolled a big number, didn’t you…

Sill Bimmons

Ego Whip effects aren’t damage so much as they are degrees of psychological control of the affected creature WHICH YOUD KNOW IF THE GODDAMN TABLE HAD POSTED

Gratliff

I’d read dice-based RPG spreadsheets, but I’d like to have sex again at some point in my life.

Beastmode Ate My Baby
Gratliff

UPHOLD ALL THE AMENDMENTS! BRING BACK PROHIBITION!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Shhh…be cool man, be cool.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m sorry, who does Trump represent? I wasn’t aware he was holding elected office.

WCS

He represents spray tans and sprays tans everywhere.

...

Such a masterful portrayal of an asshole.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I hope the ghost of Jerry Tarkanian shows up.