Sunday Night FOOTBAW!! Game Thread – Week 7, 2016

Hey, doesn’t that feature pic make you want to cheer FOAR the SeaTruthers, nanobubbles and all?

Seattle at Arizona (8:30, NBC)

After a dominant Monday Night win over the Jest, Arizona is 2-4 and thinking just maybe they can make a run at 10-6 or 11-5 and be that hot, dangerous wild card team that nobody wants to face in the playoffs. They do feature the best runner AND pass-catching back in the league, after all. Perhaps Bruce Arians finally understands this obvious fact. Hell, a sweep of Seattle and the division is even in play. But it all has to start tonight.

On the other sideline, Minnesota’s loss opens up that top overall seed again, and the first round bye is always a prime consideration regardless. If you want that, one needs to win “separation” games like this one. Both teams have a lot to play for, and the top playmakers are reasonably healthy, so it should be a worthy teevee experience.

Tis MANDATORY for Commentists in good standing anyway, so I shall see you in the comments below.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Doktor Zymm

Hey baby, how about we slide for a not first down together? ehhhhh? wink wink?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Zymm, I always wear lambskin in the bed, don’t fret!

blaxabbath

Who is NBC going to hire to be their on-air medical expert to discuss injuries on the spot? Dr Oz? The guy who made octomom?

blaxabbath

SNF Team: “Let’s jerk off Wilson about how accurate he is.”

Wilson throws a two yard dink and then chucks the next one way out of bounds.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Oh my, he can shoot his load two yards?

trollsoharduniversity

Well, it looks like he tossed his dick directly into Cris Collinsworth’s mouth

Redshirt

I just saw 15 seconds of “Son of Zorn”. Now I have an almost irresistible urge to go to Hollywood and purge from the Earth those responsible for this show airing so something like this will never happen again.

Is this normal?

Sill Bimmons

Shame Eliquis is involved in about ten class-action suits and warfarin has been safely used since the goddamn 1950s.

Eliquis and Pradaxa are genuine poison and if you or anyone you know take these medications find a different doctor to help get you off them and onto warfarin as soon as possible.

Doktor Zymm

I kinda want other Gronks to do goods, just so Thanksgiving won’t be super annoying.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Uf, I haven’t seen anyone get stuffed against their will like that since Ben Roethlisberger found a Milledgeville bathroom.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

tWBS got in my head. Watching TWD instead of the next hour of football.

blaxabbath

Don’t give it away!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I’ll remain completely silent on it. I will still be here to possibly make comments on other stuff

Sill Bimmons

PUNTER GETTIN LAID TONITE WOO

blaxabbath

Quigley’s punts are the true Legion of Boom.

Doktor Zymm

I’m even going to ignore the fact that an actual cardinal couldn’t survive in the desert of Arizona. That pales in comparison to the fact that there is no actual bird called a sea hawk. REAL DEAD BIRD >>>> FAKE IMAGINARY BIRD

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Albatross!

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Doktor Zymm

Hooray Monty Python!

...

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blaxabbath

Orthodontist I hope.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You should get your teeth fixed.

blaxabbath

I’m a man. I just need to make more money and be funny.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Try for the money I guess.

Doktor Zymm

This is the last weekend in a while that I’ll actually be at home. So, Go Cardinals, Boo Sea things!

blaxabbath

You’re one of the good ones, Zymm.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

My drunk uncle used to say the same thing about Bill Cosby!

blaxabbath

All the greatest minds are rapists.

Senor Weaselo

We’re glad you’re alive after last night!

Sill Bimmons

Broadway Set Designer ad airs during backward-ass fanbase-off game.

That’s hitting your demo!

ThePirateSloth

WHOOOOOOOOO DEFENSIVE BATTLES!!!

/gets kicked out again

blaxabbath

The problem with pro-offense rules is that it makes offensive players weak and objectively bad.

I think that is the official GOP platform anyways.

Sill Bimmons

How’d you get back in?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“Me and Julio Down by Schoolyard”, not just a Simon and Garkfunkel tune by my fantasy with my favorite Falcons receiver!

Mmmmm don’t get me started on Tim Dwight though! The guy looked like a cock!

blaxabbath

I could not name another ATL wide out. Who was the dirty bird? Did they have TO for a stint?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Bad Moon Rison!

The guy whose house was even more flaming than Buddy Cole!

blaxabbath

Oh damn. That’s from my card collecting days! Shame on me.

blaxabbath

Why is Wilson called Rocket Man when he’s made it perfectly clear that he is DangerRuss?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

He’s big into Elton John

blaxabbath

I wouldn’t even be surprised if Wilson helped produce a broadway musical in the offseason and the SNF team spent an entire season gushing over it.

Brick Meathook

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is Macklemore still a thing? Or did people come to their senses?

Sill Bimmons

You could land helicopters on those fake eyelashes.

blaxabbath

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theeWeeBabySeamus

OMG!! ON TWD, THAT THING THAT JUST HAPPENED!!! OMG!!!
(sorry, just practicing…t-minus 13 minutes)

ThePirateSloth

[insert Kindergarten_Cop SHUDUUUUUUUUUUUUP.gif]

theeWeeBabySeamus

Usually do. But not tonight.
Don’t take this away from me, I’ve earned it this weekend.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ll be back for 2nd half.
TTFN

blaxabbath

Had to pick up my fiancee and her gal pals from the arena next door to Fake College Stadium last night. For those of you who haven’t been to the Super Bowl there (because there is no other reason to go out that way) it’s an ‘entertainment district’ that becomes just a total shit show on Saturday Nights.

I saw so many fucking 12th Mans walking around there last night with their Lynch jerseys (he was the 1st guy the franchise ever signed, in case you didn’t know) and their ugly fucking white trash bangs (on the women) you’d think their most recent SB success was being just stupid a INT away from a title.

ThePirateSloth

John Ryan: Best punter in the league!

Doktor Zymm

Oh, HAI Fantasy team that scored over projection! Would you like a hug?

Doktor Zymm

Dear Melvin Gordon, you are the best Melvin ever. You scored lots of points, and I hope you have the awesomest week ever. Yay you! Love, Zymm.

Sill Bimmons

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I’d love a hug Zymm!

And a place for me to put my Fleshlight! It gets cumbersome.

Doktor Zymm

I don’t think you’re on my fantasy team, but you get a hug anyway. And you can check your fleshlight at the door. I can’t promise you’ll get it back in useable condition though.

blaxabbath

That play would have been better if Jefferson had ripped Wilson’s arm off.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s fifteen yards if he beats him with it.

blaxabbath

For using the arm as a prop in a celebration?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Howdy folks and folkettes. I’m not really here, just counting down the minutes until TWD.
Oooohh….I’m all goose pimply in anticipation. Plus I was just outside and it’s a little chilly.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Quit talking about your nipples.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Would you prefer I talk about yours?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I’d prefer you tweaked mine!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Only if you rub them.

Doktor Zymm

My life would be so much easier if I didn’t think that assholes asleep on my couch were really fucking cute.

blaxabbath

Go grab their pussies.

PopeofChiliTown

Hey, get out of our locker room!

Doktor Zymm

So, which of these used to be relevant teams should I pretend is relevant?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

The Democrats

blaxabbath

Way to not get a 1st down Floyd.

Worst. Contract Year. Ever.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Carson Palmer is here to remind you that he’s a good quarterback, as long as there isn’t any physical or psychological pressure.

blaxabbath

No more than DB on the target.

ThePirateSloth

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO

/gets kicked out

Doktor Zymm

I didn’t hear ‘Cubs’ you can stay

Sill Bimmons

hehe he said you potty

blaxabbath

This joint is terrible.

I’m gonna blaze it at the first commercial break though.

Sill Bimmons

Why do you keep saying “University Of Pittsburgh,” Larry?

Your degree is from the University Of Phoenix.

You’re not ashamed of that, are you?

blaxabbath

Does Mike Iupati sound like an Idaho native to you?

Sill Bimmons

I wasn’t talking to you, and that doesn’t even make any sense.

Doktor Zymm

There are a lot of bad things I can legit say about Pat’s fan, but he’s still fun to drink and watch football with. It’s not like I was gonna do anything else today anyway.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Thank God he’s not a Geno’s fan!

Brick Meathook

I can’t comment unless I log in, and I can’t log in unless I pass a goshdarn math test.

6 minus 3???? What the hell????

I’m assuming this is some sort of trick calculus problem. Any help is appreciated. Thank you.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The answer, as always, is a dick pic

blaxabbath

Why doesn’t the @SNFonNBC intro highlight Clay Matthews jamming a syringe into his ass cheek?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Because he’s not the most notable Packer getting something jammed in his ass cheek!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

NBC’s on closed captioning at the bar, and the Sunday Night Football song still makes me want to murder everyone involved.

Gratliff

Me and Sill putting on an absolute clinic of shitty fantasy football

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I won my fantasy football league today!

My fanfiction of giving Terry Bradshaw a hummer while Mean Joe Greene yelled from the balcony of a field house was riveting, they said.

Sill Bimmons

Pretty incredible.

hippofant

Hahaha, Rodney Harrison was actually prepared for the question, but Dan Patrick flubbed it. Ha.

blaxabbath

Just threw Yeah Right’s carnitas on the stove. Going to try to teach myself how to roll a joint now.

I love learning new stuff on my days off.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

This was an interesting thing I saw on the injury ticker this morning:

Josh Brown, K, NYG: Doubtful (God Complex)

herodotus450

Would’ve expected hand injury.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I thought I had finally defeated the website logging me out all the time yesterday, I hadn’t completely. I think I finally have it done now.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ugh, fine I’ll watch it. But I don’t have to enjoy it.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What are “things my girlfriend said about our sex tape,” Alex?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

What is “how I feel seeing someone shit on the MTA”?

ThursdaySkyGoddess

When did Gwen Stefani start dating Dale Earnhardt, Jr.?

blaxabbath

Wilson is hurt. Palmer is hurt. Jon Brown is out with sickle cell issues because, according the Trump campaign, he’s from a black inner city.

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