Your “Potential End of the Civilized World Eve” Monday Night Football Open Thread

Everything that needs to be said about this election has already been said. [weighs in] Goddamn it, America! GET THIS RIGHT! You’ve made your share of mistakes just like any other nation but what differentiates you (and Canada, for that matter) from others is that when it really, really counts you step back from the precipice and make the best decision for yourselves and the world at large. This is another one of those times. Get to a voting booth and vote with your heart AND your head and watch the sunrise on Wednesday morning filled with the knowledge that-as small as those steps might be-progress has been made.

Buf/Sea-I don’t think the NFL likes this game. Why? This one should be all about the D. The Bills D-line are a bunch of rambunctious pocket-collapsers and run-stoppers that lead the league with 26 sacks. Seattle is no slouch in that department with 22. Seattle only allows 15.4 points per game and if you subtract the Bills shellacktification by Bill “Does Not Get Swept By Anyone” Belichick’s Pats, they’re in the same room. The Legion of Boom (I know, I don’t like it either) is not going to have a problem with the likes of wr’s Woods and Goodwin. But I also can’t see rb’s Michael/Prosise running wild like Ajayi did a few weeks ago. My guess? This comes down to special teams (Percy Harvin with a KR TD?) or a defensive score.

Enjoy. LET YOUR FINGERS DANCE!!!!

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fant is part of the NFL’s ongoing experiment to see what happens if they only use fresh brains.

litre_cola

George Fant played basketball? Wonder if anyone else on his team played basketball.

Gratliff
LemonJello

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

This BMW of Rockville commercial looks like the worst porno I’ve seen this week

LemonJello

Browns. Ravens. A shitstorm in the abyss. This Thurdsay night!

Spur

Good thing the world is ending tomorrow.

Shogun Marcus
Shogun Marcus
Fronkenshteen

Howsabout handing off to the ol’ running back now, Hawks?

Spur

This looks like the Bills team that shut out the Pats and beat the Cards by two scores

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Mike Alstott reference from Gruden, finish your cup of semen

litre_cola

Didn’t semen play last night?

Gratliff

Same woman. I imagine Vince was fond of the idea that he could just pass her off as different ethnicities to meet all the quotas. http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_TrhmiOrTAbY/S69Ajz1sk5I/AAAAAAAAANg/dHUAODWyN0Q/s1600/LaylaEl004.jpg

litre_cola

Who is Red vag of Courage in DFO2?

JustStopDude

That would be me….

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litre_cola

I expect Baldwin to put up 75 puts as Sills scoring system is like Japanese to me

LemonJello

Not me. But that is an awesome team name.

Spur

Wow, Seattle really missing michael bennet

ThePirateSloth

Being as sick as I am, listening to Gruden is making it exponentially worse.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I need this game. I need something to come out right so that tomorrow comes out ok.

JustStopDude

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

McCoy was still open in the flat after Taylor reversed field thrice.

Gratliff
LemonJello

She seems nice.

JustStopDude

Come on Doug Baldwin…I only need 123.2 fantasy points out of you…

Fucking Christ I detest fantasy football and I hate all of you for tricking me into getting into this shit again.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/39c539298841d65369b9ce5cc22d188b/tumblr_moyr8b4fHD1sx4jfio1_500.gif

JustStopDude

This is a 100% true story. So I go drinking with a Polish coworker. We end up crashing at my pad. I am still drinking and I tell Romaski “I want to watch a movie, but you won’t get it…but I don’t care” and I start watching Dolemite.

Romanski is laughing at all the jokes. I ask him what is going on and he starts explaining all the refereneces to Dolemite, Sweetback’s Badass Revenge, Coffy…basically he is getting every little joke.

“Dude..what the shit?!? How the fuck are you getting this?!?”

“In Poland, my father has VCR. I watch many movies to learn English. I like the blackplotation cinema.”

“This totally explains why you refer to ‘jive ass honkies all the time'”

Beastmode Ate My Baby

There we go.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Bills losing yet?

Beerguyrob

Almost…

ThePirateSloth

I shouldn’t have woken up for this game.

JustStopDude

I never sleep cause sleep is the cousin of death…

entropy

“Sleep, those little slices of death…. how I loathe them.”

Beastmode Ate My Baby

FUCK

ALso, FUCK!

JustStopDude

That is some “Toe Sucking Good” Special Teams!!!!

WCS

BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

JustStopDude

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Spur

That’s a good start for Buffalo.

JustStopDude

“THIS LIVER…I CALL IT ‘MY EX-WIFE’…CAUSE I ABUSE THE SHIT OUT OF IT AND ITS GOING TO CRAP OUT ON ME IN ABOUT 3 YEARS”

Spur

Let’s go Bills!

Fronkenshteen

Drive by double teabag by the Ol’ Gloreee Boyyyys!!!

ThePirateSloth

Drink scotch or more Nyquil?

Either way, I’m passing back out by halftime.

JustStopDude

Aw shit…I got to sober up enough to find the fucking remote!

Beerguyrob

GOD DAMN, that was a rousing version of the anthem.

litre_cola

Evening from middle Canadia away for work again, suppose I may be safer here with the end times coming. I have decided that Gruden is way worse than Collinsworth or Pheeel.

Come at me.

Fronkenshteen

Tied at 99. He has McCoy. I have C.Michael & Sea D/ST. I’m sure everything’s going to be just fine.

Spur

Are you ready for non stop political ads!

Fronkenshteen

Today should be a National Day Of Reflection, on which political ads are banned.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Which of our younger commentists wants to freaky Friday things and do my job for a week while I go to high school or college or Canada or whatever?

Spur

Would you one strap or two strap your backpack?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Two. I saw 21 jump street. Sup.

Senor Weaselo

They both ded, right?

Col. Duke LaCross

Surprised McDonaugh didn’t pat Jon on the head there.

Spur

So who throws the dildo on the field today?

...

I see one getting interviewed right now, so I’ll pick him.

JustStopDude

RUSSIAN!

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Spur

I pray to the old gods and new gods this becomes a Buffalo thing.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

The Bills have Richie Incognito so a dildo will be on the field most of the time.

Spur

So do I get hammered tonight or tomorrow?

entropy

Is this a trick question?

Col. Duke LaCross

Why not both?

Spur

I promised myself to only drink “too much” once during the work week.

LemonJello

The world could end tomorrow, and then who’s gonna know?

JustStopDude

My company had to change our healthcare plan for all employees. So about 200 engineers were funneled into a large area to listen to a 14 minute presentation and then they fucked up by opening the floor to questions.

Within three questions, it turned into a combo infowars/Glenn Beck/Trump rally.

So I have been drinking heavily since.

JustStopDude

It was suppose to be a 30 minute presentation total. It went on for an hour and a half before the CEO just asked everyone to please leave except for the 5 or 6 guys grandstanding against the federal government and Obamacare.

Spur

Folks.

Spanky Datass

Enjoy. LET YOUR FINGERS DANCE!!!!
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entropy

I think I’d like to shower with her

JustStopDude

So what the fuck is everyone drinking?

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LemonJello

Starr Hill Snow Blind Doppelbock. You?

JustStopDude

I got this blasting on the stereo…

http://991.com/gallery_180x180/Spinnerette+Baptized+By+Fire+475130-991.jpg

And drinking vodka and Milk of Magnesia. Its a drink of my own design. I call it a “Phillips Screwdriver”.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just finished an old fashioned. Going to leave the bar and keep drinking whiskey while I get less and less productive catching up on work.

Spanky Datass

Cruzan Black Strap Rum with Royal Jamaican Ginger Beer. Cheers!
http://www.clipartkid.com/images/539/lime-wedge-clipart-free-clip-art-images-3In1oZ-clipart.gif

entropy

Miller Lite and shots of Tito’s vodka. DON’T YOU JUDGE ME

Col. Duke LaCross

Green tea with peach. Sobriety sucks, especially when the Bills are in prime time.

Kungjitsu

I’m sipping on Pyrat rum. It tastes like the Caribbean.

entropy

Pyrat rum is very, very good

LemonJello

Fellow sarcasm aficionados! I bid thee a good evening and hope you are all flush with fine foods and spirits.

LemonJello

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yeah right

JustStopDude

Let’s check in with the Completely Rational Browns Fan and his thoughts on the upcoming election…

https://youtu.be/CgYfAUB1gCI

Warning…Language…Stupidity…and Cleveland Behavior…

blackroseMD1

Ned Flanders-inspired metal band Okilly Dokilly released their debut music video today, just in time for Armageddon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BEvh6HSQc0

JustStopDude

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JustStopDude
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Here’s some Quebecois fightin’:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6B1-c3y_Vng

Col. Duke LaCross

Wouldn’t want to see Malarchuk get hurt!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“Number 30, Chris Nilan, 5 for fighting… anudder 5 for fighting, 10 misconduct, and a game misconduct”

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

He’s one of the good ones!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

-Played catch with Dan Marino in Only Wanna Be With You video.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Well said. I hate people that deride incremental progress while enabling massive regression in the process.

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