I have no words nor fucks left to give. Games of note:
Baylor at Oklahoma (Noon, ABC/ESPN2)
Scoring.
Kentucky at Tennessee (Noon, SECN)
Wildcats still have reasonable chance to win East with win here.
Georgia Tech at Virginia Tech (3:30, ESPNU)
ACC Coastal would be clinched with VPI win. I can’t believe I’m tying this, but THANK YOU, DUKE.
Texas Tech at Oklahoma State (3:30, FS1)
Offense again.
LSU at Arkansas (7:00, ESPN)
Physicality, best SEC West game.
USC at Washington (7:30, Fox)
Just in case, but likely blowout.
Cal at Washington State (10:30, ESPN)
Late night, none of us deserve cheerleaders (apologies to Canucks).
Story time. As I may have mentioned to a couple of you, I broke things off with my ex a month or so ago and have pretty much been spiraling in a non-upwards direction. Spending a lot of nights pretty numb, though I have discovered that I manage to do pretty well for a guy who hasn’t really been single much for the last 12 or so years, and who is completely tech-deficient.
That being said, after a successful bar pickup last night, I woke up this morning to this phrase: “That was really fun but I’ve got to get to work. Can you give me a lift to the carnival?” I think some re-evaluation of my life is in order.
Ended better than my night.
Also I may need to work on what I consider to be successful.
I’ll just say that you should be awarded bonus life points for that phrase.
I wanted really badly to believe that she meant a cruise ship.
This is awesome!
I dated a carney for 2 weeks back in the early 80’s
She had a home made Blue Oyster Cult tattoo and she gave me a critical case of the clap.
True story.
I hope yours turns out better.
So I guess you could say…
/takes off glasses
She was Burnin For You
To finish this heartwarming holiday story. I knew I had some shit when I was pissing napalm and I asked my brothers to be cool with it until after the holidays.
See, Ma always came out to California in December because she lived in Iowa, Davenport if you must know, and she needed a defrost before Winter got cold as a motherfucker.
I pick up Ma at Ontario, (CA) airport and drive her home and brother DJ Taj says, “Hi Ma! welcome home! yeah right has the clap!”
The next day, I’ve got Ma on one arm and my Auntie S on the other and they dragged my ass to the monthly VD clinic.
It looked like two older milfs trying to protect their investment.
I get in there and there’s a horrifying long cotton swab story that I’m not gonna share and a jab of penicillin in my ass that I apparently did just share.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4T79XuHOpWA
Oh that’s awesome. I actually just looked up where to go get tested just in case.
Wow, Iowa got the ball back in great field position.
3 of the top 4! Just one field goal away.
Except not the one we want.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ahZaSUcd3o0/Uy4dIGEqDtI/AAAAAAAASEo/tHMiVBDWBDc/s1600/xd.jpg
Culos buenos
Yay Vesey, 3-0 Ice Giants over Ice Stampeders
Dammit, Hawkeyes.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/f335a2988130b9f276eb8f324594b14e/tumblr_nizcpqjRIn1rnneano1_1280.gif
Imgur: Come for the cats, stay for the racism and crypto-conservatism
http://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7v8hlyf7k1r3s5n0o1_500.jpg
http://img29.imageshack.us/img29/4152/jesusmemesinterneteaste.jpg
Martin Sheen, truck driver
I knew he looked familiar!
http://68.media.tumblr.com/23745238767632c6544b9619dd9aa1a3/tumblr_inline_ogeesylwTI1rxreld_500.gif
Something, something Jesus take the wheel.
I have no idea how I was able to log in to DFO last night on my phone while drunk. Also, I need to learn to ride a bike.
http://115.imagebam.com/download/d4HjIe-VxQJ22PIIRgjedQ/51459/514588662/mw.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/2235896851a2fb236b066ee0b46ec337/tumblr_og8rkaRJAB1vb46leo1_1280.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/93358d981324c315ed7e7a1befe5c857/tumblr_ogdaihvT2V1r539hzo1_500.jpg
Ted Nugent?
Steven Seagal?
WAY too skinny
Wow, Washington is in a lot of trouble.
That’s been said a lot this week I think.
I wish I could like this more than once.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/55f2c5b524651f59a25076b7980527b9/tumblr_oe25flfiqy1t287neo1_1280.jpg
In honor of our host, the good (and missed) King Hippo….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIraCchPDhk
http://68.media.tumblr.com/50dc7442791c286b8cc571a84146cf8a/tumblr_nxdi5d27ga1tdwlnso1_1280.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/e1e6651ebccb56c4c3df4276fba9c489/tumblr_ngw1px1sPX1t287neo1_1280.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9j0jfujuL1qfacmco1_1280.jpg
Hehehehehe….I’m not saying a thing.
LMAO.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/e54b3d9b24ab6d7c132457b03cd7632f/tumblr_ogh1jvgFP01v471sqo1_400.jpg
Wait, I have a couple of questions……
http://68.media.tumblr.com/625c8fb7441637e177c2d162ecd2a5cc/tumblr_ogjbjfaFaZ1qf9csoo1_400.gif
AHPM* is a good starting point.
*Average Hole Per Model
Not sure if that is on the syllabus·
Will lube be provided at least?
http://68.media.tumblr.com/24a2fd14c3cc6d96d84d1f22b481ffaf/tumblr_ogg6t54Xh31ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
You’re pinching my nipple, Captain. That’s illogical. But not unpleasant.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/65452a37fff7d8facc28e6b1c4016e7d/tumblr_ofuzimLSMF1ug5c9zo1_400.jpg
He asked me to my knee off his chest.
It’s not unusual.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNj9aVmYR_w
http://i.imgur.com/cywDcHb.png
Shit…imgur above gonna disappear soon.
http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/20/205f31254c2f7f3332d53e0a3b5eff88a3f3ceae363f64e99865732ca58b7633.jpg
imgur, still the worst.
Agreed. Usually I notice when I drop the link. But I was so excited about ‘batin I didn’t notice.
Wait, let me rephrase that.
Michigan fumbles the second half kickoff. Holy crap.
And converted yet another fourth down.
I see Wake has reverted to being….well, Wake.
Hi everybody!
Howdy, motherfucker!!!!!
http://68.media.tumblr.com/4b3af8cce1fd7e7aaf231218b2199984/tumblr_odxogvgcoM1tu1fevo1_1280.jpg
Ola Senor!
Stuffed shells were great, btw.
Now it is tWBS who is stuffed.
Also, I hate cleanup. I’m a clean as you go type, but still.
If anyone would like to be my sexless housewife (as far as you know….roofie ftw) I’ll cook for you if you clean the shit up.
I’m in. I like good food and don’t mind dishes (also, rather difficult to knock out chemically, so I’m safe on the sexless portion of the show!).
Sheeit…I would have to roofie you.
I cook for two brothers and clean up is part of their damn job.
And I also clean as I go.
Hawks still very much in it at the half. 10-8 (That includes a Safety!).
IOWA!!! Going for it on 4th. Playing with a set of balls!!!
11/18….
I’m not sure if that’s bad or good….
http://www.sporcle.com/games/babymonkee/blonde-actress-picture-click
4/18 lol
17/18
This is sad
Two random observations from entropy’s Saturday:
1. I have a friend who used to be a Russian Lit professor at Penn State. He put up a post today that I won’t share all of, but the end of it was a bit startling: “Thanks, Penn State, for being such a healing force in our family.”
2. Most lovely thing I’ve read in a while: “I’ve always known your name; I just didn’t know when I would get to say it.”
That’s a great line.
Can’t wait to try it out in Vegas.
I’m not sure people will understand if you use the Penn State line there, but it is a gambling town.
That really is a great line.
I might have to use a variation of it in the near future.
I’ve had Jersey on my mind today.
Yep, the original Quik Stop. It’s just outside of Redbank. Buddy took me there with youngest right.
This is about 7 years ago.
https://youtu.be/CiAaEPcnlOg
http://www.aroundcampus.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/hot-dancing-unlv-college-football-fan-2012.gif
I found this searching for faceplant gifs.
http://i1.wp.com/memecollection.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/sexy-jiggly-gifs9.gif
That is logical. I’d like to plant my face in there.
Hot Tub Time Machine is one of the greatest movies of this decade. Screw anyone that says different.
More evidence that Trump is a fucking moron.
http://media1.break.com/dnet/media/008/897/2897008/17-more-bounce-tastic-sofia-vergara-gifs-image-17.gif
she’s not mexican though…..
Not that a trump supporter would actually care but I digress…
The heads. You’re looking at the heads. Sometimes he goes too far. He’s the first one to admit it.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/af3a094772d7cee9dd220f291e75f106/tumblr_n93ggudZrf1s01qkyo1_r2_500.gif
http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g182/HotHilaryDuff/Celebrity%20GIFs/Jen3.gif
She ruined it for me on Conan when she got all educated and corrected him in a manner of speech kinda rudely and she was totally wrong….. I know a minor thing, but what ever it triggered it was like marrying a douchebag. That said; I’d still put a couple of fingers up her butt if given the opportunity.*
*In a respectuful and non-sexist way OF COURSE.
I don’t want to come off as sexist, but she’s a woman whose voice I don’t need to hear. I’d just like to watch her work out in a sports bra and tight shorts.
And then the fingers up her butt, sure.
http://cdn.pcwallart.com/images/jennifer-garner-elektra-wallpaper-4.jpg
Is there a Ralphs around here?
http://68.media.tumblr.com/363cd2f946923e93374d204e8c77d550/tumblr_ng75czlKnN1r652d1o1_400.gif
Targeting in college is like a catch in the pros. It’s a fucking cypher whether or not it exists on any given play.
On advice from a friend, I bought some gin yesterday, too. My experience with gin is limited to my Nana drinking it to calm her nerves during big Thanksgivings. There was the cheap stuff I could’ve bought, but I decided to get the Beefeater, because that’s what I recall my Nana having on the shelf. I’m done drinking tonight, but what should I put my Beefeater in tomorrow?
Jennifer Garner
Serious business, I like gin and tonic with a bunch of lime.
Lime juice, or peel, or just a big fucking lime in the bottom of the glass?
I should be OK on Tonic. I have two of their CDs.
I’ll take 1/2 a lime and squeeze it into the G&T and then drop it in.
True story: Jennifer Garner went to Denison University, which is on the other side of Columbus from where I live. I tried to angle a teaching job there, just in case she ever visited on alumni weekend, so I could put my smooth professorial moves on her.
No luck.
If Jennifer Garner asked me what was in my wallet, I’d show her my penis.
Hey Mr. Garner. I loved you in the Rockford Files. I want to get your daughter pregnant in front of your son-in-law.
My all-time favorite Pixar movies:
1) The Incredibles
2) Wall-E
3) Monsters, Inc
4) Up
5) Toy Story 2
6) Ratatouille
7) Inside Out
8) Toy Story 3
9) Finding Nemo
10) Toy Story
And then I realize, holy crap. Has any studio/producer/director put together 10 movies so fucking awesome? I mean, even if Disney keeps up with Rogue One and the next few Star Wars movies, it’ll be 5 more years before the Star Wars franchise matches the greatness of Pixar.
Wall-E blows my mind.
With today’s movie studios, just try to image that pitch…
“So we have a robot that doesn’t say a word except wally. For about 30 minutes it just him. No real dialogue. Then we introduce another robot…that also doesn’t talk. We should have some dialogue with minor characters in the late 3rd act”
A movie about robots that gets me choked up in the last 2 minutes. And the credits are just about the best part of the film. Fucking Pixar was at the height of their powers there.
That’s a solid list but I may have to choose Wall-E.
I love Pixar.
Pixar movies all hold up. The Force Awakens gets dumber every time I see it.
YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH! THE FORCE AWAKENS IS AWESOME.
Hey, even if it’s A New Hope remade, I love it simply because my daughter has a female protagonist to look up to who isn’t whored out in a bikini and chained to a giant slug with a nasty tongue.
On a happier note, I did something today that I haven’t done in like 15 fucking years.
I went to KFC!
It was goddamn delicious.
There’s something truly American about fried chicken and beer.
KFC is really good, as long as you don’t have it more than once a year. Sort of like pizza rolls.
Ex navy buddy of mine just posted on facebook that Clemson losing was a national embarrassment and that their fans and students should be embarrassed.
Who wants to guess what university he went after he got out of the navy and figures prominently throughout his profile….
I don’t want it to be, but The Incredibles might be my favorite movie. For some reason it hits me in all the feels.
Instead of footy, watching The Incredibles with my spawn. Damn, this movie is great every time I watch it.
We also adopted two shelter kitties today. During the Trump (barf) reign, we are going to do what we can to make the world a better place. Plus, kitties are cute as motherfucking hell.
And I just cracked open a 1.75 liter bottle of Maker’s Mark. Sorry, I like it better than Bulleit.
Because I accidentally bought a bottle of sweet vermouth, I decided to make a Manhattan for the first time. My reaction: Why would someone ruin perfectly good bourbon by mixing it with other stuff?
Rocks Manhattan or up?
Also, rocks Manhattans are what Evan Williams, Noilly Prat and Angostura bitters are made for. Save the top shelf stuff for sippin’.
I should have been more specific. I meant Evan Williams Black and Noilly Prat Rouge … and maraschino cherries!
I use Evan Williams Green Label as lighter fluid.
The Green Label is extra cheap for a reason. 2/10 will not buy.
Went out and bought Angostura bitters specifically for this drink. Maybe I didn’t add enough? My recipe said “two dashes” and so I shook the bottle twice into the drink.
Recipe was rocks. Again, I’m gonna save my bourbon for drinking straight. Neat. Whatever. Just bourbon.
Bulleit Bourbon can’t hold Maker’s Mark’s red wax covered jockstrap. Bulleit Rye on the other hand…
Fuck. Bulleit rye is better? Time for another trip to the state agency, then…
Bulliet Rye is magic in a bottle.
And the 10yo Bulliet Bourbon is tasty and a pretty good value.
Oh wow…I totally wasn’t prepared for this…I want to thank the boosters…the equipment people…my wife “WE DID IT HONEY!”…um Jesus…and of course our dark lord Satan…
Sorry, Dabo, “Clemsoning” is a verb again.