Have I ever told you the story of how I discovered Thanksgiving football? I have? Shut up. Who asked you, anyway? Me? I don’t know that guy. Okay-I was a young puppy that went by the name of chocolatemilknaut and I was sick as sick can be. Mommynaut propped me up on the couch in front of the tube and I dreaded watching the usual diet of game shows and soap operas that constituted day-time TV as I drifted in and out of sleep. Lo and behold! What to my wondrous eyes did appear? Football. Football most dear. It may have been Lawrence Taylor (I called him LTnaut) dismantling the Lions, I’m not sure. But a football fan was born that day, my friends. TO THE GAME!
Was/Dal-The ‘Dacteds need this game really bad. This is an assessment of the level of their alkalinity or acidity-a litmus test if you will. Can the D deal with DAK! and rb Zeke? Will The Beeze out-catch The Dez yet again? When will Old Man Witten kick everyone off his lawn? Why does cb Norman play so rough? Who is qb Cousins, really? How will wr Jackson embarrass himself this week? Will rb Kelley pile up another 100-yarder? For the answer to these and many other unasked questions, watch the freaking game! A Giants backer would have reasons to cheer for both a Cowboys or Redacteds win but myself is just looking forward to a good game. After all, it’s up to the G-Men to win and damn the other team’s results.
I’m done-SPEAK TO ME! (AND OTHERS!)
So how many injuries do you think Romo would end up with if they had him running on read-option plays?
The minute he snubs PK for an interview, he’s fair game.
Collarbone in 3 places
Nawt dez, is catch.
The Cowboys are evil and horrible, but damn that’s a beautiful catch.
So, are the refs gonna let people hit Dak like Cam gets hit, or does that only happen once he starts dancing after TDs?
That looks shit-tastic….at this point, does anyone even attempt to make a good movie anymore?
Hell or High water was great.
It was a great movie.
3 yr old niece just decided she wanted to sit with me, just long enough to rip a fart an adult male would be proud of, giggle like a maniac, and run off.
This kid is gonna be awesome.
How is everyone holding up?
http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/e3/e3de6d01672c80eb911687827a3fd98a9aa0838755f6f0fd4884e753ac3e29e0.jpg
So far, so good.
Redacteds could be playing better though.
Refs must have been blinded by the sun
Double J is making some phone calls to keep the sun where it is until the half.
YOU TELL THAT SUMBITCH RA TO KEEP THE GODDAMNED SUN WHERE IT IS HE OWES THE OL’ DOUBLE J A FEW FAVORS ANYWAY YYYYEEEEEEEHHHHAAAWWWWW
Do we know for sure it’s not The Eye of Sauron?
The Redacteds never should have given out Mark Mosely’s number.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSe95yskUoI
If your stadium is indoors and the sun affects the playing conditions…you are an idiot.
Apparently Jerry ran out of money for miniblinds.
Icarus kick
HAIL SHANK’HOR
Confirmed, Kirk is not a vampire
Does Kirk know this is the last year he gets paid like a starting QB?
Am I the only one who finds it funny that Brad Pitts and Angelina Jolie’s relationship seems to be bookened by movies about married spy’s?
Just like their agents planned it.
Do any of those Clipper players want to play tight-end today?
Do people in real life use Viagra/Cialis as an actual marriage aid. Porn actors don’t count and neither do ld men using it for hookers, lady boys, little boys, little girls, etc.
I have heard of it being used as a recreational drug for hours-long boners.
My thoughts while listening to a family member drone on and on and on and on and on and on…
i.makeagif.com/media/6-23-2015/qO0sBs.gif
If you purchase cars as Christmas presents….fuck you.
So is Romo more likely to be a Bear or Skin next year?
Aaron Rodgers prefers the bears.
Is this an NFL question or a gay sex pun?
I hope Denver.
Older niece has just boticed, for the first time, that 1, I have a beard, and 2, it is very grey and white.
She’s ten. I’m concerned she won’t be very bright.
My former boss had a very lush beard when his son was born and had to deal with the little one grabbing on and trying to hang/swing from said facial hair. So at least you don’t have to deal with that.
Ooof. Refs letting the corners be very physical today. So be it, just call that for both teams.
Happy Thanksgiving you filthy animals
That 3rd and long throw….goddamned Dak just fucking man….
Dude is legit.
Grotesquely overeating like a good capitalist at my daughter in law’s and fam. Prob have to wait for the night game to join in on the shenanigans. Please try to enjoy the game regardless.
The worst thing about Dak being a good QB, I’ve been waiting weeks to make a “Dakety Sax” pun and haven’t had a chance.
I am now being used as a magazine stand by my youngest niece.
I kinda miss those days from my niece.
This kid has given me the “I am going to kick your ass” look since tr day she was born. I just pushed the catalog she was flipping through off of me and she said, “knock that off” in the exact same tones as my late mother.
It was hilarious and kinda sad.
Washington’s Best TE and best WR getting hurt on the same play?!?
That’s efficiency.
Efficiency and Washington
Two words that have NEVAR gone together.
Pumpkin and pecan pie?
What in the flying piss was that Frankenstein commercial even for?
I don’t know. Something something heartwarming?
No wonder none of us understand it
That was decidedly moronic.
A new ABC Family show, starring Ray Romanos brother
Obviously just to piss us off, because each time I see it I get really fucking annoyed.
Apple…because fuck you that’s why I guess.
What in the fuck does Frankenstein’s monster have to do with Christmas or iPhones?
My brother has said he wants to leave. Now me and my sister are playing Family Dinner Chicken, trying not to be the first to leave so we don’t have to give the freeloader a ride.
Who brought him?
Enabler parents. He just volunteered himself.
I think that was Sean Lee who snapped Jorden like a reed.
Huh, my cousin is a ‘Skins fan. Whoda thunk?
We can root for Fat Rob together!
Hooray!
Looks like they’re gonna need a new Reed. Maestro and Weaselo, get on that.
Crap. That kid is awesome at the football, but his brain has gotta just be jelly at this point.
New crazy controversy of the night.
My father, grandpa, tends to lose his keys. My mother, grandma, took his keys to teach him a lesson, only now she cannot remember where she hid them.
So yeah….everything has completely stopped while we look for keys and stop the old people from fighting….
That’s gonna be a hallmark movie of the week in less than six months
It’s going to turn into a fucking dateline special about a massive family murder suicide if these fucking people keep pushing my buttons.
You can get him one of those annoying “find your keys” alarms for Christmas!
I got one for my Dad. He lost the thing you push to find the key.
Baby sister brought homemade pumpkin roll!
Vernon Davis is alive??
Only if you count playing for the redacteds as being alive
Track Suits squeak by Illinois, 89-57, in the semi-finals of the NIT Tip-off. Nice start to the sportsballs matches today.
I really shoulda started Cousins and Crowder. So hard to pull the trigger on that though. I have no faith, I’m a bad, bad, pessimistic fan. They’re looking good though.
On to tea and pie is in the oven. Mmmmm. And my parents brought TWO types of ice cream!
Mousse in the fridge, turkey cooking away, potatoes bout to be whipped into goodness… time for a relaxing 30 mins of beer and foosball. My jobs are done at the moment.
/pours scotch
So how are you fine mentlegens and ladyfolk doing?
I hope Moose survives my fridge. Sorry buddy
“Dumb refs!”
– 5 year old cousin-once-removed
Even kids are smarter than the NFL officials
Given the lawyers here and lawyer-refs, this sort of feels like every discussion about judges.
I thought Eco-Drive was powered by Eli Manning?
No more contact than in Elliott’s college dorm.
Bleeeerrgh in a tryptophan coma, apparently
http://thumbnails115.imagebam.com/49198/6fd36b491976555.jpg
All jokes aside, and I say this mostly because I’m selfish and about to get on the road for 75+ minutes, but don’t drink and drive.
Every young hipster group needs at least one Asian. This is the law.