Your “All Is Not Well In Wisconsin, Or Anywhere Else For That Matter” Monday Night Football Open Thread

I’m having a hell of a time starting the intro for this game-not because it doesn’t have its merits but because as I type my wife is cooking bacon. Is she making a BLT? Perhaps a chicken club sandwich? My mind is reeling at the possibilities. Umm, there’s only 4 more of these Monday Nighters left, folks.  TO THE GAME!

GB/Phi-At one point the Pack was 4-2 and all the cheese was delicious and life-giving. Four straight losses later and the skies overhead are filled with Crestorcirrus, Lipitorstratus and Zocornimbus clouds. This looks to me like a ‘loser gets nothing’ game because Green Bay is 4-6 and the Eagles are 5-5 and stuck in a division with Dallas (not going to catch them) and the Giants (8-3) and the Redacteds (6-4-1). Major sports sites will tell you “it’s not over!” for the loser, “they could still win out!”. But c’mon, do either of these deeply-flawed teams have the wherewithal/talent to run the table? I’m shaking my head as well. Rb Sproles has a broken rib but is expected to play-how is that even possible? I expect that Smallwood will get the majority of the touches. Struggling rook qb Wentz should take some shots downfield-the last two qb’s to play against Green Bay’s complete mess of a secondary had ratings of +145. Oof!

There you have it-GIMMEE ALL YOU GOT!

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ballsofsteelandfury

Just woke up to this. 2016 can’t end soon enough.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yup

ALXMAC
ALXMAC
ALXMAC
Senor Weaselo
WCS

Senor Weaselo

We’re up to the part in the Simpsons marathon where only every third or fourth episode is good and the rest are just all right.

Brocky

fucking mondays man

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WCS

ALXMAC
Don T

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Senor Weaselo

Seems legit.

Unsurprised

Just like COINTELPRO

Don T

Yup
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

: Think of Universal Basic Income as a way of socializing the gains of having robots do more of the work.

Unsurprised

Yeah, but …

Fuck it

JustStopDude

Ask him about his dysfunctional family already!!!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

“How do you know your season is on the line in this game? Is it the media or does a teammate have to tell you in the locker room? Or are you not a moron and know at 4-6 you need to win this game?”

Paraphrasing, but I fixed the question to include the obvious answer.

Unsurprised

A: MAGIC!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How come zazzle doesn’t have an FAQ for “How do I explain to my girlfriend that I paid real money for a poster designed by someone I’ve never met to commemorate the fake adventures of other imaginary internet friends?”

entropy

“It supports feminism, honey. Trust me on this.”

Brocky

I just lied and said that it was for a fundraiser.

made everything go easier.

Unsurprised

A: Consider the fist

Unsurprised
entropy

“Give.People.More.Money.” Da fuq? Give them money for and/or from WHAT, exactly?

Senor Weaselo
Unsurprised

Print it? Fuck if I know.

Have you ever talked to someone who’s mentioned Universal Basic Income seriously? The last guy lost me at how UBI only works if you answer a question that eluded humans for the species’s entire history, but which I forgot because it fails every Econ 101 smell test.

entropy

No. No I have not, because I know how to walk away from stupid conversations.

Unsurprised

And this is why I am always miserable.

entropy

Repeat after me: “Ah. You’re an idiot. I’ll be anywhere but here now, with anyone but you.”

Spur

Look sweetheart, stop listening to your attorney and return my calls and letters
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entropy

Apparently, if she continues to fight, she will become Spur’s prisoner.

Unsurprised

If “Room” taught me anything, if she or her future child pretend to be dead for you to take them out to bury, make sure they’re dead before you leave your property (plus, it’s easier to carry a body if you cut it up and drip dry it).

entropy

If “room” taught me anything, it’s to never watch “Room” again because the interesting part of the story was over before the beginning of the god damn movie.

Unsurprised

You got me there.

LemonJello

OK, enough of this.

Later, Taters!

Shogun Marcus

Has Chris Doleman been released from the asylum yet?

Curse of Marino

Why does the turntable in this Viagra commercial not have any speakers connected to it? Bugs the shit out of me every time.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Why are they praising Wentz as the next coming of Brady for putting up 13 on a defense that has been giving up 28+ the last 4 games?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t know but I assume it has something to do with Bridget Moynahan.

Unsurprised

Philly’s going to be seduced and abandoned?

ALXMAC

“seduced and abandoned” – great documentary if you get to see it.

ALXMAC
Don T

The traditional version, by Los Panchos (usually heard on AM radio on Sunday mornings)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pwRiKDcrjz0

ALXMAC

(added to favorites)

LemonJello

There’s this version:

https://youtu.be/ktHhRnhW7HY

Spur

Something about that wig gets me all hot and bothered..plus she has a huge jugs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nleRCBhLr3k

Senor Weaselo

“Wentz is about to be a five-star talent”
/Gets sacked on two straight plays

Unsurprised

The one thing that bugs me about Westworld is that either they cured CTE or Goodell is god-emperor and no one knows that you’re not supposed to get hit in the head so hard you black out for hours once, let alone repeatedly.

Curse of Marino

Passing out is super bad for you.

Unsurprised

Maybe they stop a millimeter from impact and discreetly inject you with knockout— Jesus, just fucking kill me.

ALXMAC

And the same characters, within the same episode (Man In Black/William). As drunk as I am, I don’t think I’d sleep through an entire batallion of Confederate soldiers getting slaughtered by knife.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A miss on that field goal would have cost me my fantasy matchup. It is clear that Shan’Khor was pleased with my ritual of burning a copy of the novel Misery as an offering.

Curse of Marino

CAN SOMEONE TELL GRUDEN TO FIX HIS FUCKING JACKET HE LOOKS DUMBER THAN HE SOUNDS /rant

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Davante Adams’ meastiness is killing me in insanity league

Curse of Marino

Jon Gruden having football games from the local radio station on CD is a very Jon Gruden thing to do

Spur

How this wasnt a bigger movie is beyond me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dh2Lky730q0

Curse of Marino

stop fucking lying Jennifer Garner, that shit didnt happen

entropy

“When my dad called Capital One, he said, ‘I’d like the Jennifer Garner card and also to never speak to one of you damn furriners agin so if’n you could put me through to a proper Merikan I’d preciate it, you fuckin ni….'”

“JENNIFER! TOO MUCH HONESTY!!!”

Unsurprised

If they weren’t divorced, I’d assume “my dad” was a euphemism for Affleck

ALXMAC

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Brocky

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entropy

So that’s what the coca-cola polar bears fill the bottles with.

Curse of Marino

Clearly OPI

King Hippo

ref looking right at it, too.

Spur
LemonJello

Refs just want to get this shitshow over with, get the hell out of there, and hit the titty bars.

Dunstan

Important to get there before Gruden shows up and starts screaming about Spider 2 Banana while throwing bills in the air.

Senor Weaselo

Aren’t those just sports bars where a guy has his shirt off in Green Bay?

Shogun Marcus

Ok…THAT was OPI. There’s no question.

Curse of Marino

Why is there so much fucking sand on that field?

Spur
Col. Duke LaCross

No way are Gruden and McDonough having this conversation.

Unsurprised

And some Lake
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Unsurprised
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