Your Sunday Night FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! NFL Football Open Thread

I’d like to be the 37,000th person on the interbutt to congratulate the Tom-est of Bradys on his new stupid record. If only I knew that the key to future riches was to abandon someone that you knocked up. I’ll file this under “Lesson Learned”. TO THE GAME!

CAR/Sea-As far as I’m concerned, Seattle wants this way more than a Panthers team that is licking its self-inflicted wounds and gearing up for next year. I’d also like to take this time to say that the winner of the Cowboys/Seahawks NFC Championship game will vanquish the Pats in the Super Bowl.

LET’S DO THIS THING!!!

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Sharkbait

Having personal experience in the matter, broken fibulas suck ass.

Senor Weaselo

“He said I owe him a steak. I’m not sure why.”

Sharkbait

This game was such a beat down Ray Rice even cringed.

Brocky

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Brick Meathook

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Sharkbait

Someone missed their PED dose.

Senor Weaselo

He didn’t knock over the bar so he can redo it, right?

Curse of Marino

“LOOK AT THAT TINY NIG-”

“GODDAMNIT CRIS”

Curse of Marino

Holla at ‘Shaboykin?

Horatio Cornblower

Kuchely has a brain injury that was severe enough to cause him to cry without knowing it or remembering it.

What should he do?
Collinsworth: “Take the rest of the year off; he’s got a good 8 years left.”
Me: “Never play football again. Your brain is crying and not telling you. THAT’S NOT GOOD!!!”

Sharkbait

Seriously. Shut it down Luke.

Senor Weaselo

“Boykin gets a roughing the passer call and I don’t? Seriously?” -Cam Newton

Shogun Marcus

“ASPARAGUS GONDOLA LOLLIPOP TOES!!!”
“Mr. Kuechly, please sit down.”
“TOES!!!”

Sharkbait

Boykin has a better competition to interception ratio than Derek Andersen already.

Curse of Marino

Pete Carroll how do you feel about tonights win?

“Well we just went out and gave it 100%, also jews did 9/11 goodnight”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m willing to go out on a limb with this: there isn’t going to be a comeback.

WHOA.

Night, all.

Brocky

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Senor Weaselo

Sneaking suspicion that the Panthers might not make the playoffs this year after making the Super Bowl last year. Is it just me?

Curse of Marino

I need to know what the fuck was the point about Collinsworth’s rambling about ducks was.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Coded message for Chip Kelly

Horatio Cornblower

I have Jimmy Graham on my FF team and what I am doing to OSZ right now makes up for every time he’s stuffed me in this goddamn locker.

/loses in 1st round of play-offs because of course.

Curse of Marino

Shonne Greene’s Locker?

Horatio Cornblower

I wish it were that interesting.

King Hippo

well, that CharmslingerDOWN doomed me to 3rd place. Pete Carroll can suck my ass.

Sharkbait

But can your ass melt steel beams?

Senor Weaselo

Basketballdown, still no finger-roll.

Curse of Marino

BASKETBALL DOWN

Horatio Cornblower

Oh by the way? Westworld?

Jesus fuck what a show.

King Hippo

INDEED. I really need to see tonight’s episode tomorrow morning/afternoon, somehow.

Horatio Cornblower

Suffice it to say they GET to the fucking fireworks factory, unlike some other shows we review around here.

-cough-Walking Dead-cough-

Beerguyrob

If I paid for HBO, I’d review that in a heartbeat.

Curse of Marino

Is Collinsworth high? He rambled for about 5 good minutes there.

Brick Meathook

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Mr. Ayo

Reminds me of my last tinder date.

Horatio Cornblower

Ladies & Gentlemen, your 2016 Trump demographic.

Hope you lose that farm when your insurance gets canceled right before your hip operation fucko.

Sharkbait

I’m pretty sure we just witnessed a man’s peak in life right there.

AggressivelyUncoachable

In that he’s going to be dead in a week?

Brick Meathook

Are you married?

Senor Weaselo

That guy’s getting on Quotables, right?

ballsofsteelandfury

Way too easy.

Sharkbait

Why NBC? Why?

Sharkbait

ALL TEH BASKETBALL PLAYERS!

Shogun Marcus

ALL TEH BIG LONG ATHLETES.
TOTES. HETERO. SPROTS.
/sees the large Seattle fan
//I think I’m sterilized.

Shogun Marcus

That diving apple ad would’ve been better if it was Robert Loggia.
http://ll-media.tmz.com/2015/12/04/1204-loggia-getty-9.jpg

King Hippo

I just noticed there is an “Armed Forces” AND a “Military” Bowl. Separate fucking games. They should just have a separate Military Industrial Complex 4-team tournament.

Sharkbait

Wonder how much I’m paying for those naming rights

Mr. Ayo

Don’t ask, don’t tell

Senor Weaselo

Merchant Marines vs. Coast Guard: WHO YA GOT?

Sharkbait

OPI Bleergh

AggressivelyUncoachable

…are the Panthers having a contest to see who can make the uniform look most like a Lisa Frank binder via their footwear? Because Cam is winning.

King Hippo

“I bet her house is boring, too”

– P. King

King Hippo

Make some sacks and/or fumbleceptions

King Hippo

CLEARLY, they need to just worry about getting into FG position

Shogun Marcus

You’re a jerky kind of action cris.

Senor Weaselo

Back from my grandmother’s birthday party. Clearly this isn’t the world’s greatest game, but I need two more Cam/Horseballceptions for *ducks* Madden on my phone? I mean I haven’t paid a cent for it, fuck giving EA money!

*sees Camception* Okay, one more. *sees DPI call* Oh for fuck’s sake.

King Hippo

I did NAWT wish to see BLEERGH appear that time. But our Lord’s will be done. PRAISE BE.

Brick Meathook

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King Hippo

God AND family ahead of footbaw?? No wonder he got benched. Uppity mofo lucky it weren’t fer whole game, without pay ,, smgdh

Senor Weaselo

But if football is family, then God is first but football is second AND third, and then wouldn’t that make it okay?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Did the DFO Vegas crew win enough money to buy us a proper clubhouse?

Sharkbait

Asking the important questions

Brick Meathook

I DEMAND A SECRET HANDSHAKE

Curse of Marino

Rawls’d.

Senor Weaselo

7-10 split?

Spur

What happened to the Panthers?

King Hippo

Superb Owl loser jinx

King Hippo

I am gonna send the SeaTruthers a $65 invoice for these dropped pickerceptions

Shogun Marcus

What’s the magic avatar size fix thingy?

King Hippo

Rikki has some voodoo priest spell he casts

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You really shouldn’t be intimidated if your wife has a bigger avatar than you.

Shogun Marcus

I WAS TOLD IT’S ADEQUATE.

Horatio Cornblower

Don’t worry Jerry, it happens to a lot of guys.

King Hippo

Even AL MICHAELS thinks that’s pretty fucked up, Ron

Brick Meathook

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Sharkbait

That about sums up this game

Senor Weaselo

And let’s go to the judges!

Shogun Marcus

Approve my wife. Please.
/no seriously, she has her first comment awaiting moderation.
//I dislike dying

King Hippo

DONE!

Spur

Luke Kuechly should be the Panthers head coach.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Carolina +7 is looking like a dumber and dumber bet

Shogun Marcus

What was the dress code violation? Post-game outfit not old-timey enough?