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Your Sunday Night FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! NFL Football Open Thread

scotchnaut

/

,

I’d like to be the 37,000th person on the interbutt to congratulate the Tom-est of Bradys on his new stupid record. If only I knew that the key to future riches was to abandon someone that you knocked up. I’ll file this under “Lesson Learned”. TO THE GAME!

CAR/Sea-As far as I’m concerned, Seattle wants this way more than a Panthers team that is licking its self-inflicted wounds and gearing up for next year. I’d also like to take this time to say that the winner of the Cowboys/Seahawks NFC Championship game will vanquish the Pats in the Super Bowl.

LET’S DO THIS THING!!!

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LemonJello

Just checked all of my pockets, and I have zero fucks to give about the remainder of this game. I’m off to bed.

Later, Taters!

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Sharkbait

A dress code violation? THAT’S why you bench a starting QB?

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Unsurprised

No Fun League in effect

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LemonJello

His hat wasn’t stupid enough?

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Spur

Week 15 Titans v Chiefs and Lions v Giants might be better games with more at stake.

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Spur

Am all for Cowboy games that game against Tampa seems a tad excessive. The Cowboys could already be resting players.

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Brick Meathook

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King Hippo

Dallas every week!!

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laserguru

I know we’ve made you jealous with the drinking and the gathering and the gambling but what should really make you jealous is the fucking food.
We just had the most incredible tuna and yellowtail sushi, drunken Thai noodles, spicy steak salad, curry chicken and shrimp with pork dumplings.

That’s the part you should be jealous about.

Ooohh, more drinks!

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Sharkbait

Sushi Roku at Ceasers?

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laserguru

Wazuzu at Encore. Dok came with us but she felt the call of the poker table.

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Sharkbait

Yup. This is my jealous face. I said it earlier, but I’m saying it again. Next time, I’m in for the Vegas trip.

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Brick Meathook

While you were in Vegas I pooped in your toilet. Don’t worry, I flushed it. Twice.

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laserguru

I promise you wouldn’t want to sit on my toilet.

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Shogun Marcus

Manos is done. I don’t even know what that was. Teenagers from Outer Space is on next. I seem to recall seeing that one.

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Sharkbait

MST3K marathon?

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Shogun Marcus

It’s on my network tv…comet?

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WCS

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Brick Meathook

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LemonJello

Pictured: Trump’s wall.

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AggressivelyUncoachable

In order to spend any time at all with my husband, Shogun, I have created this profile despite much pain and many arguments with WordPress. This is all YOUR faults, and you had better welcome me with open arms because YOU ARE MY FAMILY NOW. Carry on.

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Horatio Cornblower

“YOU ARE MY FAMILY NOW.”

Hi! We’re the Bordens!

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Sharkbait

I didn’t think celebrity apprentice could get any worse.

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King Hippo

well, monkeyfuck. No flexing FOAR Donks/Titans.

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Sharkbait

Holy Fuck the number of commercial breaks is asinine

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WCS

THE SHIELD demands it!

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Shogun Marcus

Roger Goodell is…I can’t even waste the time anymore.

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LemonJello

RGIAGDND*? Not really better, is it?

*Roger Goodell Is A God-Damned National Disgrace

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Brick Meathook

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LemonJello

Seems like he’s not recognizing the Law of Gravity, among other laws…

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Brick Meathook

He’s getting beaten up by a ghost

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WCS

Horatio on his way to a hockey game?

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Horatio Cornblower

Fuck you.*

*OK, that was funny

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jjfozz

Wait, you’re telling me there’s a way to make Johnny Depp look like a BIGGER douchebag?

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King Hippo

in Hollywoo, they can always get douchier!

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Brick Meathook

I WILL PURCHASE THAT BRAND OF COLOGNE TOMORROW

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King Hippo

c’mon, MOAR turnovers. $175 beats $0, beat $240 pays for the printer and ink cartridges I bought my mom for Shitsmas, like, in full!!

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Brick Meathook

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Spur

Rawls is a mack truck

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The Maestro

Even Beef Moe is impressed by that run.

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King Hippo

very purty

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Brick Meathook

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ted Ginn protesting Mike Pence’s ascension to the vice presidency by sudennly grabbing balls non-stop.

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King Hippo

If the SeaTruther D keeps doing goods, and Charmslinger doesn’t do too much other than bads, I could go from 3rd to 2nd in total points for the year in my league. Which would be a good $$ bump.

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Brick Meathook

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Spur

I didn’t know Kristen Bell was in Legend. She looks good for her age.

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jjfozz

Hey black people, how about a Toyota Carolla?

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Shogun Marcus

Does it look like a crown Vic?
-peeps in my hood

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Sharkbait

Ate they going for the turnover record?

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LemonJello

“Did someone say turnovers? I’m ready.”
http://www.rantnow.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/wilforkvideocropped.png

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

This game stinks worse than Randy Moss’s fingers.

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Spur

Wilson picked off
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ll9rypXtFk1qclvq3.gif

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

It’s officially a pickkakke.

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The Maestro

Turnoverkkake in progress, currently.

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Spur

Fucking Panthers
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Brick Meathook

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King Hippo

Whenever I see a closeup of the football signatures, I pray for JUST ONE to be a cursive script “National Disgrace”

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Sharkbait

It’s impressive to hurt oneself on a sack

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LemonJello

Are we still talking about Tom Cruise?

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

See, Russell Wilson wouldn’t have given up the sack like that before he got married.

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Shogun Marcus

See, Russell Wilson gave up his sack when he got married.
Fixed it.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

The only thing fixed around here is Russell Wilson.

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Spur

I like Tom Cruise movies, guy rarely makes crap. There I said it.

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WCS

Legend (1985)

Pros: Mia Sara, Tim Curry, Mia Sara, inspired Legend of Zelda, Mia Sara

Cons: Too much Tom Cruise, not enough Mia Sara

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Shogun Marcus

Oddly accurate. Even the crap is tolerable.

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jjfozz

You want to convince me that Viagra works? Hire Kathy Bates as your spokesperon.

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Brick Meathook

Bea Arthur. Or perhaps Eleanor Roosevelt.

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entropy

Anne Ramsey.

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Horatio Cornblower

I wouldn’t fuck Eleanor Roosevelt with Bea Arthur’s dick.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I look forward to putting the same amount of effort the Panthers are displaying tonight into my workweek.

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

Viagra single packs

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Spur

Interview with Ethan Hunt

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Spur

Is the mummy supposed to be Tom Cruise’s gay thoughts?

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jjfozz

Black, floppy things hitting him in the face? MAYBE

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WCS

The Mummy appears to need more Mummy, less Maverick.

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jjfozz

Dear Everyone involved with This is Us,

Each of you has been fitted with a tracking chip. I have a speargun, a vat of blowfish poison, and plenty of free time.

You are all dead meat.

Fozz the Terrible

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Sharkbait

Roger Goodell

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Sharkbait

Let me finish this thought:

Roger Goodell for Madden 18 cover

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WCS

“Nothing bad ever happens on Christmas Eve.”

Have you not seen either of the first two Die Hards?!

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jjfozz

Tell that to Joseph, he had to foot the bill for a third rate room so a kid that wasn’t his could be born.

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Spur

Benjamin got popped

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

In his defense, Cam thought the ball was a laptop.

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Spur

http://i.imgur.com/iJQaglG.gif

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

“Confident throw” = fucking terrible idea

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jjfozz

Joe Flacco’s Cleats: pure white, sponsored by the Milk Association

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Sharkbait

Ate they elite cleats though?

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Sharkbait

I love how the NFL is turning the bad PR from not letting giants receivers wear 9/11 cleats into this weekend’s sponsored event.

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King Hippo

what about Pete’s “Let me tell YOU about 9/11” cleats?

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Senor Weaselo

And now, “Roger Goodell is a National Disgrace” in the key of F-U Major.

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