Your “The Mother-In-Law Is Coming Over? I’ll Be Watching Football. [looks at tonight’s game] SON OF A BITCH!” Monday Night NFL Open Thread

Welp, here it is. The ultimate test of the footballing fan. Did you think it was a walk in the park every time you turned on the tube-like device to catch your favourite sport? No. There’s work to be done tonight and I for one welcome it. Why? Because there be some tremendously witty fellers/lassies out there that won’t be constrained by cheering for/being let down by their stupid team. There may even be discussions of *gasp* non-football thingys. That’s kinda how we do things over here… TO THE GAME!

Indy/NYJ-If the Colts win everyone in the AFC South (Jags excepted of course) will be 6-6 and “controls their own destiny” in the exact same manner of Sisyphus. You see, this narrative is predicated on each team running the table (NOPE!) because .500 squads do this all the time. Did I mention that the Colts and Texans play each other next week? A tie would muddy the waters quite nicely, I guess. But so would a win by either team because sports scribblers must do what they do.  I now turn my attention to the Jets…

I’m done. BRING THE FUNNY!

 

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Beerguyrob

This game needed not to be watched.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo

So, the guy who played the Green Hornet died.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zXx0ReqOOI

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Can’t hit like on that one.

WCS

JustStopDude

Bad things happened tonight.

Any roll I played…I am sorry.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
laserguru

That just so happens to be one of favorite L.A. bands.
These guys were new wave 8 years before there was a new wave.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7SLNLhY8VI

Brick Meathook

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Senor Weaselo

I would still say this wasn’t as embarrassing as the Buttfumble game.

Unsurprised

Fuck Roger Goodell and the NFL owners
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66nSZzBNkTU

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

THIS JETS TEAM, I CALL IT A FLAMING PILE OF WOMBAT SHIT.

What? That’s it.

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

At least it is still under the warrantee.

WCS

So close.

Brick Meathook

The wheels made it to the finish line.

Senor Weaselo

THIS FUJI SPEEDWAY I CALL IT… shit, I got nothing.

Brick Meathook

I also like how he is still trying to steer.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I should have just opened a can of Whoop Ass instead of this shit.

http://68.media.tumblr.com/b890b21b107e27c56145ac9289c2fd43/tumblr_ogyx7zB0qu1qz6f9yo1_1280.jpg

WCS

Collateral Beauty:

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entropy

Any movie that brings up how “connected” we all are is instantly relegated to the “fuck you” pile.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Even The Human Centipede?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK, thanks; that fucking cracked me up.

Brick Meathook

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Shit. Just got a work email I need to deal with. Good thing I didn’t celebrate repeal day the way I usually do.

Unsurprised
JustStopDude

There is a class action law suit against the jets for this game if anyone want to participate. Please click on

http://www.whatthefuckwasthat.com

for more information.

Senor Weaselo
LemonJello

You night owls don’t stay up too late. Last one turn the lights off, and use the damn coasters for your drinks. Sleep beckons me.

Later, Taters.

Unsurprised
Brick Meathook

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LemonJello

Ryan Grigson looks like a telenovela villian.

Unsurprised

Jesus Fucking Christ. The Incomparable, Nerdist, all the shit. I would rather flay myself with a carrot peeler than listen to another motherfucking nerd talk about anything ever again. I fucking hate these motherfucking pieces of shit.

LemonJello

Petty doing a passable Bortles impression. Garbaaage Thyme!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Crowd went wild for that Jets TD.

What’s the trashier version of a Bronx cheer?

Senor Weaselo

A Meadowlands cheer.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That was the yolk.

Senor Weaselo

Just remember, entropy and I (and Revisisle, wherever he is, and others) do this every week.

ALXMAC

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Shogun Marcus

Why jets why?

Unsurprised

Suicide is painless

Brick Meathook

This is honestly the worst football game I have ever seen on a national television broadcast, and I’m old enough to remember the Vietnam War.

Brick Meathook

2017 is shapin’ up to be a peach. One day you’ll miss 2016.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oh yeah, when the wars happen.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Mike Glennon would be so Jetsy that it’s perfect.

Unsurprised

His neck would break so quickly

Senor Weaselo

We’ve resigned ourselves to Romo.

Brick Meathook

TEBOW!

Unsurprised

/shoots self in the face

Senor Weaselo

Oh, so you mean it wasn’t him making a funny.

Romonobyl

So I’m off on a rare Monday night and this is what I get? If I wanted to see an ass get packed in I’d have hacked into my old lady neighbor’s WiFi.

JustStopDude

Every time the JEST are on MNF, my dead kidney aches like fucking hell….

Brick Meathook

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LemonJello

Still safer than playing football.

Unsurprised

Sic semper golfassholes

JustStopDude

I;ve been drinking for two and a half weeks…and I cannot take the JETS….

Snuff box until I pass out….

JustStopDude
LemonJello

Interesting take on the Christmas tree…

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I tuned out at halftime to watch Brooklyn 99. I see that was the right decision.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ALXMAC

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Brick Meathook

This guy hasn’t even been innaugurated yet, and I still have no words . . .

Unsurprised

I have plenty, but they begin and end with “We deserve this.”

Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised

Fuck post-Seasonn12 Simpsons

Curse of Marino

Ugh, that episode was objectively awful.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah, great response since the point was promoting that particular episode.

Also you are using objectively wrong.

Curse of Marino

Andrew Luck sounds exactly like Jeff Goldblum’s Jurassic Park laugh