Welp, here it is. The ultimate test of the footballing fan. Did you think it was a walk in the park every time you turned on the tube-like device to catch your favourite sport? No. There’s work to be done tonight and I for one welcome it. Why? Because there be some tremendously witty fellers/lassies out there that won’t be constrained by cheering for/being let down by their stupid team. There may even be discussions of *gasp* non-football thingys. That’s kinda how we do things over here… TO THE GAME!
Indy/NYJ-If the Colts win everyone in the AFC South (Jags excepted of course) will be 6-6 and “controls their own destiny” in the exact same manner of Sisyphus. You see, this narrative is predicated on each team running the table (NOPE!) because .500 squads do this all the time. Did I mention that the Colts and Texans play each other next week? A tie would muddy the waters quite nicely, I guess. But so would a win by either team because sports scribblers must do what they do. I now turn my attention to the Jets…
I’m done. BRING THE FUNNY!
http://68.media.tumblr.com/ce25ce089a84f04691afaa6b084369ef/tumblr_ohbk9gQDzH1uofr2ko1_540.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/2e9779e039e96b4ce8e19a547aa58ca7/tumblr_o0mx6y1VFK1qfvrzvo6_1280.jpg
EVERYTHING’S COMING UP VAN HOUTEN
http://68.media.tumblr.com/e767c2d26b85724af68580969325b0da/tumblr_ohevwlQK0z1ug1jt4o4_400.gif
Ah. So Petty is THAT quarterback. He can throw it a mile, but no goddamn accuracy.
How else do you think they managed to rack up absolutely insane yardage totals game after game at Baylor?
Raping?
Sex Cannon Jr.?
Bowles starting his Tomsula Hobo Beard already?
http://68.media.tumblr.com/f0e07b61f7bc191d0046c270a090a746/tumblr_n7hidlFShH1sw3cyxo1_500.jpg
That didn’t even look like that was a difficult throw for Petty. Fucking hell.
Did somebody just run on the field?
I can’t hear it! SHOW ME!
“If I were petty…”
I’d be Tony Dungy?
Did they show the state trooper tackle that guy?
Radio announcer: “The cops are hitting harder than the Jets’ defense.”
Streakers are the high point…
It must be MNF for the JETS….
http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/12/05/504449966/researchers-confident-mysterious-pair-of-mummified-knees-belonged-to-queen-nefer
Or RGIII’s.
That presumes he ever had knees, which I find highly dubious.
Wait! Petty sighting! Maybe one more series…. *<–true sign of an addict
American Dad time? Oh yes. American Dad time.
Padre Weaselo took control of the remote at 14-0. Headphones are on and I’m attempting to write but the funny.
FOUR Hodor touchdowns?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOfZLb33uCg
Every time I see this I am reminded of how shitty manufacturing has become. There used to be a time when he would break and the solid core door would remain intact.
“My people still build a proper door.”
–Andrew Luck.
The door was already busted before he dived into it. Damn details.
HEY!
HEY!
HEY!
Fuck you.
Sooo drunk right now…
Two hours ago I rediscovered religion.
An hour ago, I made up with two of my ex wives…
Right now I just hit up my landlord’s daughter….
Its the cycle of life….
Congratulations to the fourth Mrs. Dude
Landlord’s daughter? Something something something buttered corn on the cob!
Well he lost executive’s daughter, so who’s next?
Alternate punchline:
It appears that Revis Island has been swallowed by the sea. If only we had listened to Al Gore sooner
http://68.media.tumblr.com/af4bd549282f2632bf0c4033cc706d90/tumblr_ngadj9XDCh1r0yq4zo1_500.png
https://youtube.com/watch?v=ToKcmnrE5oY
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/12/05/red-cross-poll-americans-warm-to-torture-and-indiscriminate-bombing.html
Of course.
“What’s that? We all wear Brown shirts now? Well ok.”
“Throw in some shiny jack boots and some skull emblems and it’s a deal.”
I’m pretty warm to the idea, provided I get to determine who gets tortured or bombed. For instance, those who are indiscriminately in support of such things.
I still have a condo for rent up here, walking distance to see the Ice Stampeders. However it is -24 Celsius right now.
What is that, like negative eleventy bajillion in real degrees?
Fucking cold, and fucking windy.
They dragged the Flaming Lips and Anthony Hopkins into your fucking mess? Fuck you Michael Bay.
the Flaming Lips and Anthony Hopkins have both show to be total whores when it comes to money in the past….
Wouldn’t a space ship bigger than our moon do some serious gravitational shit to our planet?
I…. God dammit… NO. Just, NO.
Yes…no…maybe…watch my NatGeo show for two weeks to decide!
This is the Molly talking: that’s the remains of a GOD DAMN PLANET. EVERY THING would end. All done, game over.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/4793fa01713e8c4575b00e2a16d668b9/tumblr_ohfmy94vAi1qjqmkdo1_1280.jpg
Is it powered by and filled with ignorance? Because that is possible now.
Is Anthony Hopkins really narrating a Transformers ad? This had to have been before the Westworld cash started pouring in, right?
I totally ignore the half time Berman shit show. Instead I watched video of my favorite NFL player right now…
Its funny to see a kicker kind of hitting it on all cylinders but also admit that he’s a kicker so not really a true football player.
Every single Justin Tucker interview has been hilarious.
I have L.A. Woman playing and when this gif popped up almost did a spit take. It’s perfect when Jim comes in.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3jf9_rua5Q
So Michael Bay is going to add “total incomprehension of celestial mechanics” to the list of crimes in this Transformers shitfest?
Because Armageddon was a fucking masterpiece of astrophysics?
That was marginal misunderstanding; this is full blown assault against intelligence levels of stupidity.
After November 8, there is no intelligence left to assault
This is to counter my above post. Keeps the world in balance.
JFHGDHWC!!
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/nc-man-told-police-he-went-to-dc-pizzeria-with-assault-rifle-to-%E2%80%98self-investigate%E2%80%99-election-related-conspiracy-theory/ar-AAl82FT?OCID=ansmsnnews11
You really want to cheer for the meteor? Go check sites like HotAir dot com or Gateway Pundit. They’re convinced this was a false flag operation, headed up by Hillary and Obama. #2A #MAGA
Oh dear lord. With the outlets for disinformation nowadays we are all doomed.
Donald Drumpf is the President-elect, and Michael Bay keeps getting to make Transformers movies. The universe is a cold, uncaring place.
For a moment I was terrified Berman was going to add color commentary to footage of the Pearl Harbor attack.
Why is Lionel Hutz so unhappy about jacking off two invisible dicks??
THIS GAME, I CALL IT A CHRIS BERMAN BROADCAST, BECAUSE ITS HALF ASSED, MAILED IN, AND WOULD HAVE BEEN GREAT 30 YEARS AGO.
Hot Wendy’s girl or AT&T Girl?
Need to do both to make the correct choice.
Breaking News: RGIII may get the chance to suffer this year’s season ending injury this weekend.
Who’s the Cleveland team doctor, Josef Mengele?
If only.
http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/simpsons/images/5/5e/Dr._Riviera.png
Mind blown.
Agreed; nice painted tits.
I don’t think I’m gonna miss Berman.
No, seriously, I’m like two feet away. I automatic with a 45 from this distance.
Empty the magazine, reload, repeat. It’s the only way to be sure.
Did Berman finally contract ass-cancer?
I wouldn’t wish that on ass cancer.
Oh no, the Jets killed grandpa
THIS GRUDEN, I CALL HIM “MY GIRLFRIEND’S KID” CAUSE I PUT UP WITH HIM BUT AT THE SAME TIME, I CANNOT STAND HIM AND HE IS COCKBLOCKING THE SHIT OUT OF ME ENJOYING HIS MOM!
That’s pretty meta.
JustStopDude turned into Belichik so gradually nobody noticed
Indy having a $5 promotion in honor of Jared’s 5 dollar foot long?
“Anyderp you can herp I can derp better” – 2016 Indianapolis Colts
When the fuck has THAT ever happened?
That play is the best possible way to turn a near-sure TD into a touchback
So this is Fitzpatrick’s revenge on Bowles for benching him, right?
That pass just got Harvarded to the other team.
“I think Hackenberg is being redshirted”
That might be because he is not near NFL ready.
Or good
He’s being traded to the Chiefs?
I guess killing him does clear up the QB question a little.
I think Jon had that interception line queued up before the throw
Dok, if you’re watching, sorry about Dwayne allen. He’s unowned every other league except the dfo. I’m sure you’re relatively fragile position in the standings (1st) will be greatly effected.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kX_XRdFW3hc
The cat’s name is Trump
“When you’re a cat, you can do whatever you want…”
– Jay Cutler
That is a great comment.
Cat Fight!
Show me on the doll where the “head area” is.
It’s by the “bathing suit area.”
Penn State doll?
Every time I see this artificial turf ad, I get wildly happy about the idea of shock pads on the field, and they do and ruin it with an explanation