I told ya’s last week I was mailing it in. Then I went and got all talky talky typey typey RIGHT AFTER saying I was mailing it in last week. Then a lot of you made fun of me, both publicly and privately. Perhaps I was merely just a week too early.
Relax, I’m joking. But still, having that pointed out to me was a tad bit embarrassing, I gotta say. And as god is my witness, chemical inebriation really probably only can account for about 25% of that. 30% tops.
But not this week.
No stories. No anecdotes. No worldly advice.
Not this week….
Why not? Because I said so…..and stay off my damn drums already, ya li’l shit (this may or may not be a direct quote of mine to my 11 yr old niece last weekend)
But I will say this……
What is a good life that we should aspire to?
Is a “good life” one that is enjoyed with pleasure and without risk?
Or is a “good life” one which has a chance to achieve great deeds?
– Robert Zubrin, President, The Mars Society
Yes, of late I am bemoaning the fact that I’ll be too old in 2033, thus I’ve not even attempted to book passage on the first manned mission to Mars. This makes me sad. You think I’m joking right now. I’m not….
I’d give my left nut to go to Mars. Hell, take ’em both….it’s not like I’m using them. But seriously……Even knowing it’s a one way gig to Mars….no return flights. And the first manned mission likely will be a one way gig, at best. But just imagine being amongst the first humans to set foot on the terra firma of Mars.
But alas, once again timing is everything….once again, mine sucks. I really was born 20 years too early for my liking. Just saying.
/takes swig of freezer vodka
*sigh*
But, back to being BAD.
As an aside, I’m very upset with youtube for not having the official vid for this song on their site…jeebus dudes.
LCSS knows what I’m talking about…..then again, he might be a little high.
No, no….I’m not not, no matter what he says. Wait…..did I just say “not not”…?
OH COME ON….THAT’S FUCKING FUNNY.
LCSS also may or may not have mentioned the redness factor of a certain cloven feeted sumbitch named Satan’s penis. Seriously…read that sentence again. It’s turrible grammar and I’m not going back to fix it now. BUT…….That is NOT fiction. LCSS knows how red the devil’s dick is….or so I’ve been told.
Ugh, fine. LCSS is a liar….and maybe me moving to California time zones n shit….needs a bit more advanced thought…..just saying.
–
Yep, short and sweet this week. It’s Bad Girls, ftw.
And who gets to decide who’s a bad girl around here? That’s right, it’s me.
So stay tuned…you might be surprised.
But probably not.
(also, as always, feel free to post some of YOUR favorite bad girls in the comments)
–
Bad Sports Deserving of Shunning and/or Punishment
So yeah, last night….Rams at Seahawks. Did anyone expect this one to be decent? I didn’t. Vegas sure as shit didn’t. I mean Seattle was -15 at home, with a fucking O/U of 39. That tells you what they thought of this premier matchup, out in the twinkling desert of Nevada, home to all night drinking and gambling and…..
OK, it’s possible I might be missing Vegas a little bit. I’m not saying it’s true, I’m not saying it’s not true. There.
But seriously….betting the under and still getting the home team cover? da Fuq are you talking about? Holy shitballz, Vegas….you fuckers????
Yup, home team seabirds get the 24-3 home win. Nice Job Rams. NO NOT REALLY!!!!!!!
Hockey? Don’t Care. But yes, they are playing games tonight.
NBA? Double don’t care. But yes….games tonight.
College Basketball? Oh holee fuckballz don’t care…fuck you John Swofford you tassle loafered blue blooded dick eating….ahem….But, I digress…
In closing, and in keeping with brevity and (especially) decorum….
….Don’t Care.
SHUT UP HOMER!!!!YOU DON’T KNOW ME!!!!YOU THINK YA BETTAH THAN ME?????
–
Ahem……..
OK then….Bad Girls
(no touching)
(oh wait…never mind…touching is ok)
OK, so as I already said…..In the body of this post, I am the decider. I decide who qualifies as a bad girl. And if I’m being honest….any girl can be a bad girl under the proper circumstances. She’s just gotta want it enough, and be committed, and….
OK, let’s reel this in before I go any further off the rails…
Don’t let appearances be deceiving, more or less. Communication, not appearances, is the key. Encourage her to be a bad girl if she wants to be. But never push. Well, not NEVER.
For instance…this lovely lass has bad girl written all over her….
Then there’s even more gray area, sometimes. But check out the ink on the right hip and the navel piercing…
Sometimes, it’s easier to spot ’em….
See Above…
OK….Candace is a bad girl, just because I say she is…But seriously, in my mind she totally is….
Candace’s “come hither” facade makes me verklempt, for a musical interlude…..
OK, enough of that….for now….
More Bad Girls??? MORE BAD GIRLS!!!
–
Equal Bad fo’ da Ladies
My apologies ladies….google searching “Bad Boys” seems to produce nothing but Will Smith and Martin Lawrence. Meh….while we’re here I guess….
OK, what else we got????
Remember Loki?
How about Jax Teller, Ladies?
And I dunno who this sexy MF’er is….
–
Who wants a tWBS original photo?????
Fuck you……..Here, have a butterfly…
–
OK, go be bad. But be good. Because next week it’s Christmas. Which coincidentally will be our TGISF theme next week, no surprise.
Look folks, I’m no one to talk shit about anyone’s…..anything…..
But being nice to one another, whether it’s a week before Christmas or not….is really the point.
When the holidays are over, please keep being kind to one another.
Because it really is better than I’ve felt in a long time….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2i_FtbnhOpA
Seriously….Organized Religion is bullshit…admittedly my personal opinion. But Spirituality is so totally worth the search.
–
Love you all.
–
Dude … Dude … DUDE.
Going on a one-way trip to Mars is ideal compared to any scenario where we stay on this doomed mud ball.
I want the black version where the caption uses the n-word. http://imgur.com/gallery/iUNpt
It looks like Alexis Ren got a tan in the Maldives.
I wanted to repost this where Porky Prime might see it
I hope that worked. Anyway, I also wanted to add this to the Crime Beat, but since this all migrated here …
Me
CHARGE: Eviscerating the next motherfucker whose home or business I walk past who hasn’t cleared the ice off of their goddamn stretch of sidewalk as the motherfucking law dictates. You know who the two biggest offenders were in my neighborhood? Chiropractors and Bank of Goddamn America. This is not a fucking coincidence. Burn in fucking Hell you pieces of donkey shit.
Oh of course that worked. It’s how tweets are embedded. I’m a little drunk. I went to a lawyers party and then an after party. I should’ve tried hitting on this one who seemed really nice but I’m a dumb shit with no game.
Play me off, Ian:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbMi5WQcuDY&app=desktop
1973:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbN8jqDhHO8&app=desktop
We going 60s tonight, eh?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSUIQgEVDM4
Unrelated, I read Magary’s book yesterday and today. And yes, that’s how good it was. One flight and then some spillage to finish something that started a little underwhelming and then got damn good. 8/10, would bang, I mean would read again
/tears out stuck pages
Are there ALL CAPS at any point?
There tend to be italics for emphasized profanity
That was fucking hilarious.
We need to do a weekly literary feature just like this.
I read it very quick myself.
Drew is my boy!
Don’t tell his dad.
He signed my book.
I’m sending him a week old advent calendar as a thank you.
I finished it, wrapped it, and put it under the tree for my (other) brother in law.
Daryl?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3JsuWz4xWc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRE3kjL3Yjg&app=desktop
Dip, dip….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0C3zgYW_FAM
I met a bad girl…
More than once…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4fD4BNMH78
Hey guys what’s the haps?
I’M not the HAPS. YOU’RE the HAPS…..!!!!!????
I was kinda hoping they were something a quick shot of penicillin would handle… guess not.
ASS HERPES
This makes me happier than it should.
Yay for ass herpes…yay.
Wie Gehts?!
Holy shit, Mr Right (I’m still uncomfortable with that term), I just made a “wie gehts” joke with an Argentinian/Canadian friend of mine on my very short list of Facebook friends. “How goes it” in its literal tranlation.
Long story short: ten years ago we hooked up. I’ve thought about her ever since.
Pretty sure this is about a bad girl:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smvDGYPzMa0&app=desktop
http://68.media.tumblr.com/4c0c48515026d8ac38f1698ae4331b92/tumblr_ohzp56KQ0E1u49zhho1_400.gif
That’s how they do it at the Tilamook Factory
How’d we miss this one?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R20f-TPKjzc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kemivUKb4f4
That’s more like it.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/e0dbc94c351b1185b093238552bb3dea/tumblr_noamceS8Lo1qbvx0xo1_540.gif
Waaaaayyyyyy too much shitty music being posted (yeah, lookin’ at you Seamus), so here’s something to bring us back to normalcy.
Before you get on my ass, Seamus, I’ll let you know I’m currently watching the 30 For 30: Survive and Advance.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/fe0395148e4204ce46615501cfc0cadf/tumblr_nh2qeyJP7W1sraya7o1_400.gif
You people think YOU are cold? It’s 49 degrees FAHRENHEIT here at the beach in Los Angeles.
It may be colder where you are but you’ve probably got on appropriate cold-weather garments. I’m wearing a t-shirt and shorts. FUCK THIS.
I hear there is a DFO SOCAL get-together tomorrow at some hipster brewery in Placentia. I will try to make it if work permits (I’m currently working on a commercial for the Michigan Lottery – yes Michigan, even your commercials have been outsourced) but I’ll try to make it.
I just gotta look at Google Maps to figure out where the fuck Placentia is.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/a1902a23715598851f687d2d8f43c8b9/tumblr_oht7001rHN1ubqzvto1_500.gif
Yeah, the best I got was triangulate on Fullerton and it’s near there.
Fucking Fullerton man.
So that’s, what the 60 and the 605?
I ain’t got no people in the 909!
Bad girl doubly defined:
FUUUUUUUCK
Obvious but still good:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ6pLKlU-8Q&app=desktop
TwBS in Vegas.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYVqzRvVapY
You can’t prove that.
There may be photos.
I love this movie. Val Kilmer steals it.
Toot toot, yeah…beep beep.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfzfLw6OSJU
It is still Zappadan, so post away! (Zappadan is the 4th to the 21st, the days between Zappa’s death day and birthday.)
Yo. It be snowy and cold in the Chicago suburbs. Who around here ain’t misbehavin’?
It’s us here. We’re ALL misbehavin’.
Got a little snow falling in redneckville too, now that you mention it.
Hello All!
Hello Mr Meathook.
I cordially invite you to a SoCal get together tomorrow at The Bruery in Placentia.
2:00 PM I believe.
I axed this time.
Thank you, Mr. Right.
(whoa that sounded weird)
See my comment above! I hope I’m there!
http://68.media.tumblr.com/d79857559c6af17a5e12ff3d4ccb6726/tumblr_nisvwrgkoe1t5mcbwo1_1280.jpg
OH MY HEAVENS……………..
Cold as fuck.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mab4xoMN6u1r6ds2mo1_400.gif
this will be next week’s Sexy Friday banner image.
Anyone post this yet?
/May have been the number 1 thing I listened to that week or so I wanted to almost kill conductor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iay9gyLNdBw
love that one
http://68.media.tumblr.com/5dfc96801a808a70836671ba03e0dfae/tumblr_ocoot0ann81u3vseto1_1280.png
HOT ROBOT ACTION!
Hey, definitely-not-lizard people, what’s up?
Just don’t go the In-And-Out Burger near the clubhouse. That dude behind the counter? Definitely a lizard person.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/d4fa957252190df4027c90783d3a4fb7/tumblr_oh0h85fVvs1rvhk4ho1_500.jpg
Well I would if I could find the clubhouse, but I keep getting weird coordinates and end up having to put together a silver monkey that’s deceptively difficult.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9NdYyU8nVc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PX7LLua5NCM
http://68.media.tumblr.com/4a5abc1ac802d4ee7008067fa99c4c4b/tumblr_ogopejYpZp1r4dip7o1_500.gif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i94ZUhBGSDY
http://68.media.tumblr.com/137bf57798c9dd2ccfe5dbd0fb47a586/tumblr_oi3ll1lexH1uhc26vo1_1280.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/7a2fc70ebc27ba058b62597101582cfe/tumblr_n0tg8mtKc81qz5q5oo1_500.jpg
God damn it. I forgot how good The World Series Defense is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6cEOk7x4HA
Oh, shit! There’s stickers.
It remains my pick for single best line of the entire series.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSa_hbutFt0
http://68.media.tumblr.com/eb02e97dd08822cbcc92d7118ba890fe/tumblr_oha3yqoqGP1qjvgwho1_1280.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/cc34170d9f684ac80eb9d972e7142708/tumblr_oi8nhr8xAC1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/210ef8bbbf99e68bc067129f390a6ef8/tumblr_oiarcoHYVh1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPg63uxYwN0
http://68.media.tumblr.com/35a25128033c616bfe6850c2d1438e41/tumblr_oi8wbnzUgK1qzhjh2o1_500.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/862a9dfcb6696adec3e12749f58c6425/tumblr_ogqnbl8aY21vkmne0o1_400.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/2200628d1c98899acf81bb22a8a1a973/tumblr_nxctzuh2CU1qcdtheo2_250.gif
not boots!
http://68.media.tumblr.com/9f41aa4fe3c659f30ea39b630c0e1074/tumblr_ohutdxAclU1s4p0huo1_1280.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/8c80607fd3bc37ec2502971c753eb551/tumblr_oiatwuEnXW1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
DAMN IT WORDPRESS!
http://68.media.tumblr.com/ed982c0989b5f5b3a135569c8b860048/tumblr_oh0azhraIM1qz78azo1_1280.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/361e31cd5b201ec43380cd53716a8acb/tumblr_oi8newdJMf1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
Boots on the ground.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/b80684f6594f0a711f7dfea7b93e277e/tumblr_ngaoa6mcsX1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
[“normally….. I….. WOULD……tap…..out……but…..can……take……it……a……few….seconds…..longer…..”] he thinks.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/04ea54dfeb88c7c60268717d0609cdab/tumblr_o19wjcyNY61sjeutzo1_500.gif