Your “One Of These Games Is Not Like The Others” Later Afternoon Slate of Games Open Thread

NO/Ari-I believe this one is being played “for love of contractual obligations/the game”. Either way, the ‘meh’ is strong.

SF/Atl-The 8-5 Falcons lovely afternoon stroll through the burnt-out wreckage of another Chip Kelly adventure should result in an easy-peasy W but will be entertaining to only the most hard-core of hidden-basement torture chamber enthusiasts.

NE/Den-The Broncs face a 3 game feast against teams that have 10 or more wins. Oh my. The appetizer is the soul-less Pats. If said Bronc-sters win all three they’re headed to the Super Bowl again or will be so physically/mentally drained they’ll fall apart during their first post-seasoner. You heard it here first-THERE IS NO MIDDLE GROUND! This is your game ‘o week right here.

Oak/SD-Needless to say, the likes of undrafted rook rb Kenneth Farrow and dragged-off-the-dung-heap Ronnie Hillman are not going to carry the Charger Men to a victory over the Oakland “I can finally see the playoffs for the first time in 14 years” Raiders.

Are we done here? We’re done here. GO GET ‘EM, BEAST-TYPERS!!!

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King Hippo

at least I feel good about my Ty and JJ advice this am

King Hippo

RAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEE

Senor Weaselo
Brick Meathook

The Movantic commercial (it cures opiode induced constipation!) just shown during the OAK/SD game was positively surreal and bizarre.

blackroseMD1

Side effects include opiate withdrawal and internal tearing?

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King Hippo

Sans Virgil, this is AMAZING OL performance, by our ability standards.

King Hippo

Demariyus, saviour. That was. NOT. FUCKING. GOOD.

blaxabbath

Jesus Christ the Cardinals fucking suck.

Senor Weaselo

Neutral zone infraction, hail BLEERGH?

King Hippo

I was just praising Siemian to my kid when the game-turning fuckup happened.

BRING BACK CATLER

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blackroseMD1

Did the Chargers rehire Norv as OC when I wasn’t looking? They’re running his patented “Run up the middle-run up the middle-incomplete pass-punt” offense.

King Hippo

Trying to fuck me over in fantasy, finishing up 2016’s worst year EVER status

The Maestro

LeGarrette Blount is a one-man wrecking ball. God damn, I’m happy that ball didn’t get turned over last play.

Horatio Cornblower

He needs to quit vulturing my Brady TDs.

Yes, I do hate myself for typing that sentence.

King Hippo

Petronel

Pats offense doing their level best to fuck up the opportunity their D gave ’em.

King Hippo

One of the Xmas Thursday Night fixtures should be announced by Mister Leahy and Randy. Ratings through the goddamned roof.

Curse of Marino

THIS NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS TEAM, I CALL THEM A DONALD TRUMP RALLY BECAUSE THERE ARE NO BLACKS ALLOWED

Bortleback

Trevor the ape is channeling Tebow because of the throwback jerseys

Curse of Marino

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...

I want to tell a woman I’m gonna bang her decal off just to see if that stupid line works.

King Hippo

Again, John Fox BARELY got this guy 20 touches, and failed to ride him like a bull inside the 5 late (settling for the FG).

Brocky

Watching NFL Network Replays

“Now lets watch some highlights of green bay at chicago”

changes channel quickly

The Maestro

Siemian’s throw was so bad, even a monkey could have done better. Oh, wait…

Curse of Marino

I need the Pats to win and they play like shit, figures.

Senor Weaselo

Once again, goddammit Donks.

blaxabbath

NO vs ARI

These are two teams who have quit.

King Hippo

Kubes and Wade really can gameplan the fuck out of Belicheat. LOVE IT.

Senor Weaselo

Brady still not brutally murdered. I am not satisfied,

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Horatio Cornblower

Shoulda ducked.

blaxabbath

Another shanked XP.

Cards fans booing Catanzaro.

King Hippo

PERFECT play call, just missed the throw.

King Hippo

I would be delighted for Murray to be benched after that fumbre and have said -2.8 be his final fantasy line

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Willie Snead IV, from the long and distinguished Willie Snead line.

King Hippo

that’s what gets you awards in broadcasting. Talking to one another about YOUR PERSONAL FUCKING GOLF ABILITY AND TIME DEMANDS during a really important national game.

...

Who is a better example of a moderately-talented old white guy who has convinced himself that he’s the best society has to offer: Al Michaels or Jim Nantz?

King Hippo

Nantz. Al mostly is just letting the booze talk for him. He’s like an American, hetero Jim Leahy.

Doktor Zymm

Just saw the SF/ATL score. CHIP KELLEY IS A GENIUS*!

*At ruining NFL teams

Brocky

Its ALL KAEPERNICK’S FAULT!!!

-Trump Supporters

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Chip Kelly looks like he’s watching a rerun of Friends when the 49ers are on defense. He’s watching, not really paying attention, but knows how it will end.

Doktor Zymm

I hope Virgil Green isn’t badly hurt, it’s so much harder to make Classics jokes if he’s not in.

...
Doktor Zymm

I’ve sampled it. It’s amazing how good malort can be when Jeppson’s isn’t making it.

...

So good! It’s oddly Christmas-y. This is almost like a comfort drink. Totally not what I expected.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

How happy is Gary Kubiak to have a shitty old back to use ineffectively? It’s like Kubiakmas.

...

Just cracking up Few’s take on malort aptly named “Anguish and Regret.”

It’s really good. I’m drinking this straight and loving it.

Doktor Zymm

You mean teams aren’t exactly identical from year to year?!

blackroseMD1

Spanos has apparently finally come out and publicly said that he’s leaning towards taking the Chargers to L.A.

In other news, Chargers fans are reaching Favre unretirement levels of “who gives a shit”.

Senor Weaselo

They’re collectively whipping it out?

ballsofsteelandfury

Of course!

“Jackin it in San Diego…”

blackroseMD1

Who knew Jamal Anderson was a Chargers fan?

Doktor Zymm

How will people in LA decide which team to get tired of and give up on first?!

blaxabbath

LA is #RaiderNation

Brocky

Watching NFL Network Replays

“Now lets watch somehighlights of green bay at chicago”

changes channel

Brocky

this wasn’t meant to be a reply to that

blaxabbath

God the Cardinals suck.

blaxabbath

Yes, WordPress, I did already say that! It’s for a reason!

Senor Weaselo

Jeff Fisher: “I want a chance to play the Rams.”
What everyone listening heard: “I want a chance to lose to the Rams.”

http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap3000000757780/article/jeff-fisher-i-want-a-chance-to-play-the-rams

blackroseMD1

Holy shit…Travis Benjamin actually caught a pass.

Unsurprised

Rather than continue to entice Spur with Felicity Jones gifs (https://gfycat.com/gifs/search/felicityjones and https://gfycat.com/gifs/search/felicity-jones), I’m going outside while the sun’s out.

Later taters.

Unsurprised

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...

So this happened.
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Senor Weaselo

Shortly after he was fined for a uniform violation.

Spur

So there’s this scene in Star Wars where Felicity Jones has this messy wet hair and is making a pouty face. So fucking hot.

Unsurprised

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Senor Weaselo

Goddammit Donks.

...

OH GODDAMN IT DENVER

laserguru

And on this the 18th day of December I officially declare it…
Basketball season.

Fuck this shit, I’m going to start drinking heavily now.

Doktor Zymm

NO/Ari would be much more entertaining if we could pick past versions of the teams involved.

Senor Weaselo

So I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who buys the sour cherry straws at my local deli because there’s a thin layer of what I think is dust on the top of the wrapper? I’m mean, they’re sour cherry straws so they’re still good but still, am I seriously the only one?

...

I’ve pondered a few times that I may be the only person buying particular beers my corner liquor store since the count seems to stay whatever I left it at when I last stopped in.

Spur

Redzone, Donk vs. Massholes or dream about Felicity Jones? What shall I do this afternoon?

Unsurprised

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Doktor Zymm

Blake Bortles Blows

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Someday, someone will teach him how to throw the ball.

Senor Weaselo

BORTLECEPTION seals it.

King Hippo

I have King Laserface and Inman, my foe (up 24 thanks to Jordy/Aaron’s gift from the Bearistocrats) playing the OAK defense.

BRING IT ON.

/whilst I watch beloved Donks

blackroseMD1

The Chiefs icing themselves made me smile. Now, hopefully the Chargers don’t completely shit the bed against the Raiders.

Unsurprised