Your “Why Don’t They Call It Buddha Eve?” Second Slate of NFL Games Open Thread

So many questions, so very few answers… TO THE GAMES!

Ind/Oak-Indy is looking to save their season and Oakland’s young and powerful O is licking their chops looking at the opposing D. [record scratch noise] Qb Carr has struggled mightily since his finger got all banged up. The last two games he’s throwing about 50% and averaging a pitiful 150 yards. Another horse in the ointment is that the Colts have won their last 4 on the road. Perhaps we have a more competitive game than the respective teams’ records would suggest.

TB/NO-TB or not TB-that is the wild card question. Win out and get in-simple as that. Aside from that I can’t find anything of interest to pass on.

Ari/Sea-Seattle gets a first-round bye with a win and that likely Lions loss. Arizony shouldn’t put up much of a fight-they’re down both starting tackles, wr Floyd, (excessive cele-libation) a starting lb and both starting safeties. They do have King Hippo’s most prominent man-crush in rb Johnson though. According to our most pill-centric commenter, “David alone is worth all those guys plus a new pair of pyjamas eight days a week!”. That guy doesn’t make much sense when he’s smitten.

SF/LA-There’s no one more interested in this game than the Titans front office. You see, the Rams gifted their first rounder in 2017 to the Titans for the honour of drafting their next franchise qb, the ‘not-even-remotely-ready-for-prime-time’ Jared Goff. And we all know how that played out in a certain multiverse-under the tough but fair tutelage of HC Fisher (who credits his never having sported a mustache as the key to being the league’s winning-est winner) Goff goes on to complete a near-miraculous turnaround and lead the Rams to the playoffs and is voted Rookie of the Year. Back here in RealityWorld, Jared hasn’t even reached “diamond in the rough” status and isn’t a game-ready player. CRIKEY! Uh, I mean, KROENKE!

I’m done. Now it’s your turn. UNLEASH THE TYPING HOUNDS!