Your “Why Don’t They Call It Buddha Eve?” Second Slate of NFL Games Open Thread

So many questions, so very few answers… TO THE GAMES!

Ind/Oak-Indy is looking to save their season and Oakland’s young and powerful O is licking their chops looking at the opposing D. [record scratch noise] Qb Carr has struggled mightily since his finger got all banged up. The last two games he’s throwing about 50% and averaging a pitiful 150 yards. Another horse in the ointment is that the Colts have won their last 4 on the road. Perhaps we have a more competitive game than the respective teams’ records would suggest.

TB/NO-TB or not TB-that is the wild card question. Win out and get in-simple as that. Aside from that I can’t find anything of interest to pass on.

Ari/Sea-Seattle gets a first-round bye with a win and that likely Lions loss. Arizony shouldn’t put up much of a fight-they’re down both starting tackles, wr Floyd, (excessive cele-libation) a starting lb and both starting safeties. They do have King Hippo’s most prominent man-crush in rb Johnson though. According to our most pill-centric commenter, “David alone is worth all those guys plus a new pair of pyjamas eight days a week!”. That guy doesn’t make much sense when he’s smitten.

SF/LA-There’s no one more interested in this game than the Titans front office. You see, the Rams gifted their first rounder in 2017 to the Titans for the honour of drafting their next franchise qb, the ‘not-even-remotely-ready-for-prime-time’ Jared Goff. And we all know how that played out in a certain multiverse-under the tough but fair tutelage of HC Fisher (who credits his never having sported a mustache as the key to being the league’s winning-est winner) Goff goes on to complete a near-miraculous turnaround and lead the Rams to the playoffs and is voted Rookie of the Year. Back here in RealityWorld, Jared hasn’t even reached “diamond in the rough” status and isn’t a game-ready player. CRIKEY! Uh, I mean, KROENKE!

I’m done. Now it’s your turn. UNLEASH THE TYPING HOUNDS!

 

 

 

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King Hippo

well shit, Superb Owl gift wrapped for P*ts today

Brick Meathook

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Doktor Zymm

I fell asleep watching people doing downhill mountain bike runs and crashing bikes, someone changed the channel and I woke up to a Carr crash

theeWeeBabySeamus

And by “someone”….do you mean you rolled over onto the drool soaked remote?
Admit it, you’ve got a keypad from the remote mashed into your face right now, don’t you?
ADMIT IT!!!!!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Now we’re fucking talking.
Now it finally fucking feels like Christmas, dammit.

...

Welp.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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litre_cola

Well internet friends, I wish you all the best. I am off to get absolutely smashed. This is my last Xmas without Litre jr so I am going to make it count.

Brick Meathook

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theeWeeBabySeamus

We like her.
That is all.

litre_cola

Did you hear that? It was Rikki exploding while seeing Carr on the ground. Who is their backup anyway?

blaxabbath

King, I hope.

Horatio Cornblower

JaMarcus Russell?

blaxabbath
litre_cola

I like this.

Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised

You know a country is fucked up when the firefighters have riot gear

blaxabbath
Horatio Cornblower

This beer tastes too good to be 12%.

Splitting it with brother, brother-in-law and father. Dangerously good.

Stubborn Beauty out of Middletown, CT if you ever find yourself in a seemingly abandoned industrial area of town and feel thirsty.

...

Those are the dangerous ones.

blaxabbath

Too Good to be 12: The History of Penn State Football

Unsurprised

Fuck

...

Random beer podcast with the guy who runs an outstanding Chicago beer bar in Chicago.

https://thisishell.com/interviews/931-michael-roper

theeWeeBabySeamus

Who’s got two thumbs and needs to smoke some more weed?
(go ahead, take a guess….I bet you can figure it out)

litre_cola

Is it me?

Horatio Cornblower

Josh Gordon?

blaxabbath

blax before he get’s all high dicks around with his new chop saw!

blaxabbath

Probably not JPP.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Way to ruin my joke, fuckers.

litre_cola

That’s why we come here.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nope, nope, nope.
NEVER again.

Brick Meathook

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blaxabbath

What is this from?

Brick Meathook

“The Other Guys” – Will Ferrell’s pimp flashback scene

rockingdog

the other two are from Get Hard. Its a move with Will Ferrel.

Horatio Cornblower

Just cracked a 12% ABV Imperial Stout.

Wish me luck

Brick Meathook

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...

TBOX or SantaCon?

rockingdog

horray!

litre_cola

Delicious. As per the Cola xmas tradition we are going to the bar that I work at which will be closed and have a dinner/keg party with ale from Last Best Brewing, small microbrewery up here. Re live our youth with games of flip cup, beer pong, quarters with shots of Jamesons. Wish me luck.

litre_cola

I thought we were RAMMING IT today?

rockingdog
blaxabbath

Seattle is screwed — and the Browns are the hottest team in football.

Dunstan

Hey, that Saints DB didn’t have Winston’s consent to catch that pass!

Brick Meathook

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rockingdog

suck it Spanos. your Chargers suckkkkkkkkk.
Next time I see the mayor at the club, i’m gonna shake his hand and thank him for sticking up for the city and helping to make Spanos look like a fool.

blaxabbath

Just don’t disturb the stripper on this lap.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Oh, Dean doesn’t need any help there.

blaxabbath

I feel like we’re going to find out after this game that Wilson has been sleeping with all his O Linemen’s wives.

blaxabbath

Baldwin keeps talking like that and Williams will make his neck look like Lockett’s knee.

litre_cola

Getting a sense that Blaxx hates the Seahawks about as much as I hate the Cowboys. It is refreshing. Don’t come up here to Western Canadia as there a fucking 12’s everywhere.

blaxabbath

I don’t mind 12’s on their own turf.

I do fucking mind them around here.

blaxabbath

God damn it.

Cardinals gonna Card….

blaxabbath

12’s being very vocal about going 0 for 4 on the 1. They haven’t seen a performance like this in the entire four years they’ve known about this franchise!

Brick Meathook

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blaxabbath

Haha!! Tyler Lockett’s leg turned into dog food on the 1/2 yard line FOR NOTHING!

litre_cola

Your anger is strong today Blaxx, I support this.

blaxabbath

Haha! Short-ass Russell Wilson trying to dive over the pile.

You ain’t Cam!

Unsurprised

1991 was a great year for Marvel comics

blaxabbath

Lockett will be playing Tiny Tim in the Seahawks presentation of A Christmas Carol.

JustStopDude

Calling it an evening folks. My parents and sister entered the house having a heated argument so fuck it….gonna stain the deck again.

litre_cola

Take care bud. Maybe the fumes will give you a good buzz.

Sharkbait

Good luck

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Look at that roll; this guy is a professional.

http://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmhgnmMxQI1qinw11o1_1280.jpg

blaxabbath

Outside of the human empathy that comes from seeing another man in pain, I’m really glad to see Lockett lying in pain after that TD catch.

King Hippo

Back into the 2 seed? Jim Caldwell’s FUCK LIONS OF DESTINY!!

blaxabbath

Caldwell’s reaction?

Acknowledgment.

blaxabbath

As someone who hates the Seattle Seahawks and the 12th Mans — I liked that long TD pass.

theeWeeBabySeamus

C’mon Colin, fuck it up.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brick Meathook

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rockingdog

is there a name for that character?

Unsurprised

Robot Santa

litre_cola

I would looove if it ended up Raiders v Pats in the AFC final. Fuck the tuck rule game, neither of these teams have a D so it would be a shootout.

King Hippo

only if the Raiders win, and BURN THAT PLACE TO THE GROUND

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

Both he and the Bills’ season.

litre_cola

Did anyone mention that Cameron Brate went to Harvard?

Croooow

Is he also from Detroit and played basketball?

King Hippo

One cloven hoof equals two feet ,, ppl forget that

Lord Joe Don Looney

Told my wife that I’m waiting for the Ice Cream Bunny.
The Browns won? And the Jets were Jets?
http://giphy.com/gifs/GzZVtKfFEnCx2/html5

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve literally never rooted for the Rams before.
This is kinda exhilarating.

litre_cola

Would you say you are about to RAM IT?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I…would…..not….say that probably.
But the night is young, we’ll see what happens.

rockingdog

RAM it HARD! SO HARD! RAM! RAM!

Bloody Lethal
Doktor Zymm

The Colts D couldn’t stop a small child from getting to the tree and opening all their presents early