Your “Hey, Where’s the NFL?” Thursday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

Wait?! Why am I writing a Thursday Open Thread? That must mean…

Oh no…

Dear God…

The offseason is partially at hand! What horrors await? Why:

  • Three months of “…and the Browns are on the clock.”
  • Six months of waiting for training camps to start.
  • Eight months until the Browns are eliminated from playoff contention.
  • Nine months until the Browns settle on a starting QB.

Savour these playoff games people, for soon the darkness will be upon us all. (Pity unavailable for Leafs fans.)

NFL News:

  • Don’t look now Broncos fans, but here comes a(nother) Shanahan to save the day!
    • Oh, sorry – that’s Kyle Shanahan. Carry on.
  • Hey Niners fans, Jeff Garcia wants to be your head coach!
    • He admits he has no formal training or skills, but he does have a little something called heart grit a dad who taught him the dedication necessary to become a coach.
      • Note: Jeff Garcia has never coached at any level.
        • Note note: he at least admits this.
  • Richard Sherman has announced he’s boycotting the media, probably because they reported the dumb things he recently said.
    • If I may be so bold as to present the average fan’s reaction to this:
  • Sitting out Week 17 didn’t prevent Tyrod Taylor from having to undergo the knife. He had surgery today for a “core muscle” issue.
    • What’s surprising is the Bills’ official reaction, putting out a statement that Taylor “elected to have surgery this morning”.
      • This will make it interesting if his recovery time puts him into the range of the Bills having to cover the injury guarantees in his contract. If he fails his physical on or before March 11, the whole $27.5 million becomes guaranteed.
  • ESPN dumped a bunch of data indicating broadcasters saw television viewership drop an average of 8 percent for the 2016 regular season, or about 1.4 million viewers.
    • The biggest hits were on Sunday Night (down 10%) and Monday Night (down 12%).
      • Thursday Night games were excluded from the analysis.
    • The election date appears to be the bellwether
      • prior to November 8, ratings were down 14%
      • post November 8, ratings were down only 1%
    • CBS‘ analysis of the data attributes some of the recovery to the popularity of the Cowboys, as numbers for their specific games were up versus the rest of the league.
      • Proving, somewhat, that the whole “America’s Team” bullshit actually holds some credence.
This, however, is just unnecessary.
Continuing with this shit, however, is just unnecessary.

 

Finally, in “Oh, isn’t this just fucking rich” news, reports out of San Diego

indicate that the NFL’s stadium and finance committees will meet on January 11 to discuss the various stadium situations in Oakland, LA and San Diego.

  • PFT reports that in reference to the San Diego situation, San Diego State is willing to kick in $100 million for the new venue, the city is offering $200 million, and the county is offering $75 million, leaving a funding gap of $175 million.
    • And who does Florio think will cover this shortfall? Why good ol’ Stan Kroenke, in order to keep LA clear for him and him alone. A “robbing St. Louis to pay Spanos” sort of arrangement.
  • The LA Times has a good breakdown of the various questions facing the Chargers leading up to their January 15th deadline.

As for the Raiders, not much is directly new on their front.

  • The Ronnie Lott proposal is still on the council agenda, but no word on Mark Davis’ feelings on the issue.
  • Robert Kraft is solidly behind the move to Vegas, saying Davis “has become a good partner of the league.”
    • However, former Las Vegas partner Sheldon Adelson is now trying to block the Raiders attempt to move to Vegas.
  • The Warriors have announced a groundbreaking for their new arena in San Francisco’s Mission Bay neighbourhood for January 17.
    • The 18,000-seat Chase Center will anchor a district of 11 acres of restaurants, cafes, offices, public plazas and other amenities the neighborhood currently lacks, along with a new five-and-a half-acre public waterfront park.
    • It costs Alameda County a tenant, but does free up more land for a complete rebuild of the stadium, if they choose to stay in the same location.
      • Allowing construction of separate football and baseball facilities.

Just in time for the Wild Card round, “The Ringer” has come out with a Guide to Adopting an NFL Playoff Team. It goes through all the available teams and makes cases for following each one. For me, it provokes two things:

  1. Hate, blinding & irrational, on a level Fozz would appreciate, for all involved in producing such tripe – especially Bill Simmons, because his Patriots fundamentalism makes the thin veneer of neutrality on this site laughable.
  2. Pity, that they assume people cannot simply enjoy the games for what they are.
    • keep in mind that pity itself is a form of hate, because you detest the person for what they have become.

Be true to yourselves: root for your team, or against another. Ultimately, then pray for the meteor to hit at halftime of the Goodellian-engineered Patriots-Cowboys Super Bowl.


In more appropriate football fiction, NFL Network has come up with “A Football Life” short on Rod Tidwell.

It’s specifically to remind you it’s been 20 years since Jerry McGuire came out. There’s no new Tom Cruise or Cuba Gooding footage, but there’s enough of a story to make the 10 minutes you spend not seem like a total waste.


Canada 150:

Your Canada 150 moment for January 5 commemorates this date in 1910, when le Club de Hockey Canadien (CHC) de Montréal played their first game in the National Hockey Association. Their founding predates the NHL by seven years, and is just another example of why the Habs and not the Leafs should have played in the Centennial Classic.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Oilers at Bruins – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Sabres at Blackhawks – 8:30PM | NBCSN
    • Red Wings at Kings – 10:30PM | Sportsnet
  • World Junior Hockey Championship: Gold Medal Game
    • Canada vs USA – 8:00PM | TSN / NHLN
  • NBA:
    • Jazz at Raptors – 7:30PM | Sportsnet1
    • Thunder at Rockets – 8:00PM | TNT
    • Lakers at Trail Blazers – 10:30PM | Sportsnet1
  • NCAA:
    • Purdue at Ohio State – 7:00PM | ESPN
    • UConn at Memphis – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • Cal at UCLA – 10:00PM | ESPN
    • Gonzaga at San Francisco – 10:00PM | ESPN2
    • Utah at Arizona – 10:00PM | FS1

Plus, there’s always the new Free Ballin’ Football podcast to tide you over until Saturday afternoon.

C’mon, join your pal Dylan McKay in a drink. ONE WON’T KILL YOU!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Anybody else drunk as fuck?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I am eagerly welcoming to end of civilization. FUCK THE WORLD, etc., etc.

Don T

Lemme guess: you own a stick-sharpening business.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I wish

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I just fucking hate everyone right now

Don T

If junk foods were roller derby players:
comment image

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I tried to fall asleep on my face like I said I would do before. I failed at it. I should probably try again

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

@PP Mankind highlights Mick Foley always went for it, even if it was stupid

Porky Prime
Porky Prime
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I had to go silent while at this pub quiz. I’ll be home soon. And drunk.

Porky Prime
Porky Prime
Porky Prime
Porky Prime

comment image

Porky Prime
Porky Prime
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Is everyone gone?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Yeah. We’re all pulling a Tidwell.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

It is -10 outside so if I touch an exterior wall it is basically frozen solid. I still refuse to put on pants when I go out to smoke

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Our president is working on taking away any power from our CIA while congress is fast passing corrupt people into his cabinet. The US needed this win.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

0 for 5

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Woooo!!!

Wouldve preferred continuous OT. What a game!

ballsofsteelandfury

I hate shootouts the same way i hate penalty kicks.

With that said, GO CANADA!

ballsofsteelandfury

Dammit

Shogun Marcus

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I refuse to watch a shootout determine the outcome of a finals game in hockey. They don’t even pull that shit in Peewee hockey

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

SMRT.

Terrible way to end this.

litre_cola

Uggh this is going to a unimpeded skate and shoot.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Why does Charlie McAvoy not like shooting?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Who is the fat bald retarded baby that is coaching Team USA? (I apologize for using retarded)

theeWeeBabySeamus

If not for the “coaching team USA”….I would have presumed you were referring to me.
Wait, I’m not bald…..whew.

litre_cola

Mr. Weatherbee

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Jesus fucking christ.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Hit. The. Net!

litre_cola

Hit the other one.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– Brad Childress’ plans after being told he’s not allowed with 1000 feet of the local elementary school.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I should apologize for always being on here recently. I got nothing going on until…

/ Checks schedule

… February

Shogun Marcus

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

What did DTZM do to make youtube video’s not play to where you “copy url at current time”. The link should just do it on it”s own I would think.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait
litre_cola

I do NOT want a shootout. Must finish in OT or else we are in trouble.

ballsofsteelandfury

Fuck the shootout. Play all night like in the Stanley Cup!

ballsofsteelandfury

Who wants my hot stick in their big slot?

Shogun Marcus

Ha…you want depression…I give you literal depression. Deny my cookies…

ballsofsteelandfury

FWIW, I love your cookies!

Shogun Marcus

Ha…you want depression…I give you literal depression. Deny my cookies…
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rFoA9vcolLI

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Is there a game on? I’m sure it’s not important and I have that page with Kate Upton being the tiny amount chubby so people hate on her but I think it actually hotter. Talk amoungt yoursefves

King Hippo

she has vacant, dumb-dumb eyes, which knowing more about her just confirms instant impressions, so…meh. Dumb is a no fly zone for me, plus I’m not really a tit man to begin with. She just not my type AT ALL.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

My taste in women is insanely variant based on the girl. If people had to label me I think it would be short girls

King Hippo

can’t go wrong with HER!!!