Your “Last Call For Boarding Flight #11 On Air Julio” NFC Division Round Open Thread

Okay, for sure this’ll be a keeper of a game, right? Haven’t we suffered enough, Goodell? We want marginally entertaining football and we want it now. Because we sure as hell didn’t get it the week previous. I must admit to myself (in that dark place that I don’t visit very often) that the law of averages is increasingly in our favour as fans of quality football. It just might happen. TO THE GAME!!!

Sea/Atl– The most significant fellas missing from this game on both sides occupy positions in the secondary. The ‘Hawks D can’t quite play up to their full capability without The Earl of Bennett. The gap in talent with respect to replacement safety Steven Terrell is a large as you think it is. Opponents run/passing numbers are up since the catastrophe. Still, as Paul Simon once trilled, “Sherman and Julio down at the goal line” will be one hell of an interesting encounter.

On the other end, cb Trufant won’t be seeing any Baldwins, Richardsons or [curses!]  Kearses. Another wonderful plus-100 yard running day by rb Rawls will certainly make it that much more difficult to keep a better-than-average Seattle O below 25-30 points. Speaking of 30-the Falcons are 1-5 when they’ve achieved the under. By the by, a scented candle to all those that were aware that Falc’s lb Vic Beasley led the league in sacks with 15 and a half.

All in all, it looks as though the ‘Hawks need a few turnovers (“Turnovers? I like apple!” -Andy Reid) to keep up with them Atlantans but the Falcons have only turned the ball over more than one time only the one time. Possible regular season MVP and post-season Andy Dalton wanna-be (1-5) Matt Ryan-it’s all on you. As a football in New England would say, “No Pressure”.

Done. SEND IN THE SQUIBS!!!

 

 

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Bloody Lethal
WCS

Who ordered the score-commercial-kickoff-commercial combo?

ballsofsteelandfury

Seriously, the other WR started blocking as soon as the ball was snapped. Maybe it’s not a penalty because it’s within 5 yards, but that seems like it should have been.

King Hippo

Is there a worse Brad than Paisley??

...

Childress?

jjfozz

History reverses itself, and Sherman gets burned by Atlanta

Unsurprised

Damn

litre_cola

I see what you did there, and I like it dammit.

...

If this happens a few more times, we’ll need this as the banner quote.

Cecil Rhodes

PAUL SIMON-DOWN.

WCS

Once more, for effect:

FUCK Boston College

King Hippo

this reminder DOES fortify my resolve to cheer FOAR the wolven quartered back

ballsofsteelandfury

So, if the Seahawks hold them to a field goal, is game over, right?

ballsofsteelandfury

Never mind

jjfozz

I want to force feed Skip Bayless a razor blade milkshake.

What a cunt

Cecil Rhodes

This Julio character is pretty good at this football thing. How did he smuggle himself across the tortilla curtain?

ThePirateSloth

The fuck? That first quarter was faster than me having the sex.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

A quarter that goes by in a half-hour?

The Rog sends the refs a note telling them they’re going to make the other games look bad.

ballsofsteelandfury

Right? If only all the other games were like this…

...

With watchable football? Perish the thought.

litre_cola

I like it as I have to work in 2 hours.

Fronkenshteen

Sanope

jjfozz

In today’s news, Julio Jones is good.

Glad these announcers informed me about that.

King Hippo

Each team might have 1 drive this quarter, actually PROBABLY so. Hope you’re in the mood for commercial-kickoff-commercial!

Unsurprised

I’m positively tumescent!
— Charlie Sheen

Fronkenshteen

Chancellor is like Nick Fotiu out there.

Cecil Rhodes

Nice tackling, Sherman. I hope that the media asks you why you’re such a poor tackler after the game.

jjfozz

I just rediscovered my hatred of Atlanta. Not a bad day.

...

Atlanta the team or Atlanta the city?

Or hell, both?

Fronkenshteen

Rob Riggle seems a little too eager to be back in that 3-point stance.

jjfozz

Remember when Ryan won that Super Bowl?

Yeah, me neither

WCS

Fuck Boston College.

ballsofsteelandfury

I believe I just saw a prolapsed asshole on national TV.

jjfozz

Trump giving another speech?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
Fronkenshteen

This is THE time of year to break out the KITH DVDs. And the Yo La Tengo.

jjfozz

Worst part of playoff football? Amateurs all of a sudden “like” a team.

Like my sister in law likes Atlanta now.

So I hope they get the shit knocked out of them.

WCS

How many of you cheesedicks friggin’ live in Portland?!

litre_cola

Seems like quite a quorum.

herodotus450

Portland, Maine?

ThePirateSloth

Like 4 of us? BBR, where you at?

Big Black Richard

Downtown Vancouver, which has basically morphed into another neighborhood of Portland over the past ten years.

litre_cola

One of us! One of us!

Big Black Richard

No, man, the OTHER Vancouver. The original Vancouver.

Old School Zero

Wait, are you in Vancouver WA or BC?

Big Black Richard

WA.

Old School Zero

I know where you’re hiding, I was trying to suss out where cola is.

ThePirateSloth

Oh shit. I gotta smoke wit you next time I hit up HEMP on Broadway

Big Black Richard

I love HEMP. Don’t shop at Main Street. I have it on extremely good authority that the owner of Main Street is a giant prolapsed asshole.

ballsofsteelandfury

I don’t think they ALL love in Portland. Maybe that region of Oregon?

King Hippo

Definitely MOAR than the Raleigh suburbs, I tell you whut

Big Black Richard

I think we’re on 4 at the moment.

Portland is one of the few places in America where I’ll feel remotely safe for the next eight years.

King Hippo

You don’t think the Chinese will bomb the West Coast? Sheesh, fucking optimists ,, smh.

Old School Zero

HEY! That’s grass-fed chevre-dicks to you.

herodotus450

When I open my kicker’s psychology clinic, I’m going to tell them to aim for the uprights; you couldn’t hit them even if you tried, right? So you’ll always make the kick!

Lord Joe Don Looney

Hey! Didn’t Jimmy Graham used to play basketball?

Asking for a friend . . .

...

NIRVANA BUMP!

EVERYBODY DRINK AND KILL THEMSELVES WITH A SHOTGUN.

Big Black Richard

Chilling out by myself on the other side of the river from Pirate Sloth and OSZ. (Have I mentioned my crippling social anxiety? Yeah, probably…..)

But I’ve got some Bruce Banner sativa going strong. It could be a good day.

ThePirateSloth

Hey, you can absolutely come over to the LO

Old School Zero

Once this snow melts, let’s get some BBQ.

litre_cola

Did that guy play any sports other than football?

ballsofsteelandfury

BASKETBALLDOWN!

...

NOTHING BUT NET

Unsurprised

I’m also supposed to be at PirateSloth’s cove/lair/whatever they have (booty house?), but I’m an ice pussy and also had some people come to town with little notice. Damn my popularity.

King Hippo

whoever wins the NHL draft lottery should also have to play out the following season in all pink as the Ice Pussies.

ballsofsteelandfury

I like lair. Goes pretty well with the piracy.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Pirate Sloth’s Booty House will make it into HRTN someday.

herodotus450

Why don’t they just make any helmet to helmet contact a penalty, regardless of time or context? That’s how it works for facemask penalties.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Helmet contact is an esoteric question involving the question of self and identity versus the idea of man as merely a cog in the wheels of time and creation.

Unsurprised

That would make sense. We can’t have that in the National Football League.

ballsofsteelandfury

No, it doesn’t. Receivers and runners routinely grab defenders’ facemasks as “stiff-arms” and nothing gets called.

King Hippo

Ifedi would be a very, very bad loss.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Now, now…I’m sure there’s a 3rd-string WR just waiting to make the transition to the O-line…

Fronkenshteen

Rawls will fumble today.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

I will cut you.

King Hippo

wait, RTD, this is thankfully the B team. No Buck nor Aikman (though the latter is getting less awful).

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, I just realized that when I went hunting for the Spanish broadcast. Good times!

Old School Zero

Chilling at Pirate Sloth’s place because Portland winter ain’t shit to me. Go hox.

King Hippo

CHUH CHUH

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Pirate Sloth: Yar, thar be football!
Teddy’s BOTW: Nrf?
Yeah Right: No, Teddy, it’s not the Vikings.
Teddy’s BOTW (sadly):Brf.
Yeah Right: I know…but there’s always next year…

Fronkenshteen

Added walk the dog, grocery store & putaway, get the boy to sleep to my chores list. I’m fucking golden, now! Purple Kush activated. Devil’s Backbone Vienna Lager and a Jameson & water (I’m a pussy) beside a big bowl of pistachios.
I don’t hate Atlanta here. Even -6.5. Damn thing opened at 3.5 & the sharps pushed it up to 6!

ballsofsteelandfury

Now THAT is how you spend an afternoon!

The only thing missing is a halftime bj and maybe that will happen but wasn’t noted.

Fronkenshteen

If she wakes up before the little guy, it could be Business Time, baby!
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view/124402/fotc-business-time-o.gif

WCS

How many rubes are in the Georgia Dome, wondering where THE DAWGS are, PAWWWWLLLLL?! DIS AINT DA ESSSSS EEEEEEE SEEEEEEE

ThePirateSloth

OSZ and I say hi!

ballsofsteelandfury

Tell that bastard we miss his ass around here!

Big Black Richard

Can I conjure an OSZ by playing a song by one of my favorite Portland bands?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f00JY1bFYas

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I hate Joe Buck so much that I am using the audio from the radio in my wife’s car rather than listen to his stupid face.

Cecil Rhodes

Now THAT was a national anthem.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Seriously, does anybody in LA know of where I’d be able to find a stream AM or FM radio source?

ballsofsteelandfury

AM always has the playoffs.

litre_cola

I have to tend bar at 4 pm. If any of my patrons think they are getting Ice Stampeders v Ice Eskimos at 8 pm on my bar tv when the other football game is on they are sadly mistaken. Head downstairs fuckos I got a beatin to watch.

Fronkenshteen

/sees John Lynch
//punches “Mute” button
///regrets nothing

litre_cola

You punched a mute? That isn’t very nice.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“sees John Lynch” sounds like a book Mississippi is planning to add to its education curriculum as soon as Trump takes office.

Big Black Richard

If this doesn’t become the front page banner quote, it will be a grave injustice.

Just like everything else that happens in Mississippi courtrooms.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I just heard Joe Buck’s voice from the telecast and am now furiously scrambling to see if I can figure out how to get an AM radio signal out into the garage so I don’t have to listen to him.

King Hippo

I don’t really care, just make it like 62-59.

Probably, deep down, I will still end up rooting for Russell Wilson and Steven Hauschka like a good wolf but FUCK Pete Carroll.

JustStopDude

LETS MUTHERS!!!!

comment image

The Maestro

Folks.

Fronkenshteen

Hey I never said congrats on your insanity league DESTRUCTION of me in the Ginal. With an eff. You done Sill proud!

ballsofsteelandfury

I, sir, half-ass posts. I know people that half-ass posts. This is no half-assed post!

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