Look, I hate the Pats with all the bile I can summon just like you. Still, they are a relentlessly successful organization in much the same way that Scientology/The Tea Party/MADD/PETA/Greenpeace/Stormfront and NOW are. It’s not right by any means but here we are.
[prepares funeral pyre for the Texans]
Did I mention earlier that I hate the Pats? Yes? No? Anyway, I HATE THE PATS.
That said, the Pats fans on this site don’t make me want to jam three fingers down my throat.
Done. LET THE HATE DROPLETS RAIN!!!
We’ve finally reached humans being hunted on TV game shows.
Richard Dawson is trying to claw his way out of the grave to host it.
So this exact conversation happened when I walked in the house today:
Dad: Oh hey, what are you doing home?
Me: I worked till 5
Dad: Thought you were closing, you didn’t go in till like noon
Me: I talked to you this morning before I left, that was at 8
Dad: Oh, thought it was later
Me: Well, what time did you get up
Dad: Like , 11, or something.. I don’t know….
********************************
chip off the old block aye?
Did I just see a promo for a TV show involving hunting humans?
“Pssht, I’ve been doing that for years. Get some new ideas.” – Dick Cheney
If they’re not even going to fake not being in the tank, why should I fake interest in watching?
Exactly. I’d kill myself before watching the P*ts play
“THAT’S NAWT FAYUH! GREATRIOTS ARE NAWT FACKIN CHEATAHS !”
-Gillette Stadium, Sections 1-25, inclusive.
FACK YOU, RAWJAHH! WEAH AHLL KNOW YOU HAHHTE US BECAWSE YOU AHHIN’T US!
All the penalties will be on Houston. And there will be four of them.
Refs favoring these turdeaters is yet another reason people are giving up on NFL
Isn’t it crazy the way the same week the referees decided to start enforcing ineligible man downfield penalties against Houston is the same weekend they’re playing against the Patriots?
1st and 20? Houston, just punt now and save yourself the inevitable turnover
OPI? HAIL BLEERGH!
If watching football on my phone while screaming kids run around is “the perfect balance of football and life,” then for once I’m glad to be unbalanced.
How did none of those kids hit Cowher in the balls with one of those swords? Pathetic.
This was the 27th take. Lots and lots of dick shots prior.
Tommy From Quinzee: [shrug] Hogan is white enough
WOOOOOOOOOOOO
Bite me.
Seeing New England pick up so many former Bears and put them in useful roles is just another reminder of how fucking terribly the Bears have been run.
Not going to lie, if cutty somehow ended up carrying a clip board behind brady, and got a ring out it, i’d laugh my ass off
I want this game to either be exciting and close or a 60-0 blowout. Guess which one is looking more likely?
INSURMOUNTABLE LEAD
http://thumbnails117.imagebam.com/52645/3cfc5b526449702.jpg
Yeah, I don’t think ESPN gamecast is going to do tonight’s game justice:
(10:10) (Shotgun) T.Brady pass incomplete deep left to C.Hogan. PENALTY on HST-A.Bouye, Defensive Pass Interference, 30 yards, enforced at NE 35 – No Play.
If you’re gonna get flagged for DPI against the Pats, at least get flagged for streetball DPI.
Jesus Christ, for real. It’s inevitable, so they may as well fucking go all in.
“Incomplete pass by Brady. Spot of the foul. First down.”
What’s the point of letting Houston play offense?
Comedy?
Ok folks, due to the Kansas City shit weather, I’m off to church tonight (instead of Sunday) to pray for a gruesome Brady injury and a Steelers victory tomorrow. I’m 95% sure I will get neither. See you around the third quarter.
Pray for the rest of us heathens.
Artist’s re-creation of Balls at church:
There’s one MexiGod in particular you may feel free to pray to. Worked well last time. 😉
All I have is this place and Twitter to keep me updated. Family time suuuuuuuuucks.
Hail BLEERGH.
I don’t think you have much to worry about.
Pretty crazy how Houston is already up 35-0 in the first quarter…
one of the few patriots fans I know, but your being forced to be….whats the word…
domesticated?
my entire pipe-dream of patriots fans of BRAWDY taking precedence over everything else has just evaporated.
Sitrep:
Brother-in-law has taken nephew home. I’ve ceded the living room to the women, so they can watch some Barbie princess movie for the 45th time. Am currently watching this disasterpiece in the bedroom, with the cats. I plan on getting black-out drunk.
Shelter-in-place is a good strategy.
Probably for the best given all the cursing that’s likely to result
Sound of Nance/Sims cut out for a minute there – I wasn’t sure if it was the start of the rapture, or that I Kubiak’ed.
Evening, Internet Friends!
Either way, it’s a sweet release from this living Hell
Oh cbs, I’m not going to pay for the privilege of watching your free TV channel online, and STILL have to watch commercials. Fuck, you.
/Might as well just come out and admit that advertising revenue is based on inflated Nielsen numbers and you’re just waiting for the hous of cards to fall
“/Might as well just come out and admit that advertising revenue is based on inflated Nielsen numbers and you’re just waiting for the hous of cards to fall”
You misspelled “the entire consumer economy”
I mean I think Houston covers 16 and the game is relatively low scoring.
/sees himself out
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0JvF9vpqx8
This should have been the banner image for this post.
“What can they do to Brady?”
“Make him dead.”
In a just world.
This is not that world.
A just world would expose that he’s been a P.E.D. user for years.
It is the darkest timeline.
Indeed
Patriots money line had to be taken off the board in Vegas, right?
I mean, that’s the easiest money ever.
I anticipate some Mayweather tweet later showing him with a $100K winner.
That he spent 500k on, but yes, “winner.”
C’mon meteor!
Damn it, Nantz. I’M NOT YOUR FRIEND, BUDDY.
And Nantz ain’t your buddy, pal
Phil’s not your pal, guy!
Come on Houston do it for America.
They didn’t do it on November 8, what makes you think they’ll do it now?
Houston players got their hands on Grade A Mexican Meth for tonight’s game?
Who the hell was that fat old Santa Claus coot in the tunnel? I’ll bet he live under the stands.
Tomsula?
I bet he wont let black kids sit on his lap.
I really hope it’s the replacement for Jim McNally and/or John Jastremski.
FUCK YOU CBS
I can’t watch the god damn playoff game online without being a Frontier or Optimum subscriber? What the fuck am I, 75 years old? I know that is your only fucking demographic who watches your shitass channel, but for an NFL playoff game you won’t allow ANYONE to watch it?
Go fuck yourselves on Bea Arthurs dead dick
Do you need a stream? Check in with me on the slack channel if so, I can hook you up.
Also, a $20 digital antenna is your friend.
This subreddit is a lifesaver
http://www.reddit.com/r/nflstreams/
Oops. Wrong page.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vehdj7Kg_b0
NOT literally, damn it
Katya Clover. Hot Ukrainian but almost impossible to find a SFW photo of her.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/4b7d87c2d0985bfa08b4ac7b9ecea4b8/tumblr_minlpdOfzH1s5qtxto1_1280.jpg
So this is where we go for Patriots vs. Team TBD, correct?
By the way, Balls, thanks to the power of incognito mode, I have confirmed that the molesting collies thing is from caddyshack
https://youtu.be/s5K9KRJswRA?t=60
Awesome!
If the Oilers win, I’ll buying an Osweiler jersey.
Gretzky or Messier?
Shit! Just realized Joe Buck is doing tomorrows game. He’s going to be all over Rodgers cock.
http://www.gannett-cdn.com/-mm-/ac1394dbdcca6a36cbf486633b129cd813095ac3/r=x404&c=534×401/local/-/media/USATODAY/USATODAY/2013/04/29/rodgers-numbers-4_29_13-4_3.jpg
that would upset Troy, so I doubt it
Paging Bernard Pollard, you’re wanted in Aisle 7. Bernard Pollard, Aisle 7.
Go replacement Oilers team! Kill Tom Brady!
What’s the over/under on this game?
And by that, I mean, the over/under on “how big a lead will Grumblelord require before he sits Brady and deprives us all of the potential injury we’re rooting for”?
I am drunk right now. Trying to convince the wife that she needs to drive me to a friend’s house to eat chili and drink more beer while watching the Patriots annihilate the Texans while praying that Clowney takes out Dreamy’s Ugg-shod knee.
Ohmygod she just said yes!
This will not end well.
That’s why she’s a keeper!
Is DFO is only asking we watch the 1st Quarter of the Massholes Homecoming Game.
I like that you are properly drunk for this game. I need to start drinking heavily.
I’m not sure watching a football game only to be able to witness a possible injury to a Dreamboat is the healthiest thing for me.
but Jesus Fuck, what else we gon do??
You’re right, but still go fuck yourself.