Greetings. Beerguyrob’s away for some Canadian holiday (wait, it’s not Canada or Victoria Day… Family Day? That’s a thing? Damn it Canada, you make it so easy to make jokes!).
So it’s up to your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man (man, I wish) me. Sorry about that. And now, the news!
NFL News
• The Giants released RB Rashad Jennings and WR/hometown salsa dancer Victor Cruz.
•• Kinda expected due to his leg injuries and he was slated to make $7.4M next year, but Senor’s internets were saddened anyway.
••• For Cruz, I mean. Nobody gave a shit about Rashad Jennings.
• The Niners have named Robert Saleh their new defensive coordinator. Saleh most recently was the Seahawks’ defensive quality control aide after some time in Houston as an intern, then later defensive quality control coach and assistant linebackers… assistant.
•• I’m pretty sure all these positions are made up. Except for intern, but that doesn’t count as a coaching position even if it was for a real team.
• The P*ts have filed a trademark for “Blitz for Six” for their next ch*mpionship pursuit.
•• That is some artistic license if you’re going for “it rhymes,” P*ts marketing team.
• In today’s YEEHAW I AM FUCKING CRAZY news, JERRAL is looking to pick up one of those premier pass rushing “war daddies.”
•• After checking to make sure that’s a real term, Urban Dictionary has several definitions of “war daddy.” Yes, one of them is Jones’s idea (I think?), but one of them is also a prison pimp.
••• So, they’re going to re-sign Greg Hardy?
Lesser Sports News
• Jerry Sandusky’s son Jeffrey got booked on his own solicitations of minors.
•• Moving on.
• Cavs deal Chris “Birdman” Andersen and cash to the Hornets, who promptly waived him.
•• That’s gotta suck, being traded as a salary dump just to get waived.
•• Does anyone know why his nickname is Birdman?
• Hey, Derek Jeter’s going to be a father, and it’s going to be a girl!
•• Unlike the Victor Cruz news, Senor’s internets were very happy upon receiving this news, even all the girls who still wish that they could have married Derek Jeter!
•• Sources cannot confirm whether he said “Yeah Jeets” upon hearing the news.
•• Imagine her first playdate when the other parents go “Wait a second…”
••• Imagine her first date when some kid goes “Hey, my parents talked about seeing you play all the time!” (Because the kids’ll be too young to have seen him play themselves.)
In “the world’s fucked” news, the tallest dam in the country, Oroville Dam in California, has a hole in its main spillway leading to an emergency spillway being used. 188,000 have already been evacuated. The good news is the water levels in the dam are back to below overflow levels (though they’re still pretty high), but there is worry that if the spillway goes there’ll be a whole lotta water coming down, possibly reaching Sacramento, 75 miles downstream.
In other “the world’s fucked” news, Donald Trump did a thing. More specifically, there are reports of him meeting with national security advisors in a public dining room at Mar-a-Lago. Also there’s turmoil abound whether current National Security Advisor Michael Flynn committed sedition or treason with pre-inauguration dealings with Russia and whether he’ll still be employed because he made people who defended him look bad, including the Vice President. All in all, a slow day for the Trump administration.
But not all hope is lost! Today’s a pretty good day in my book, because…
*puts up the honky-tonk razor wire fence and hides behind it*
*puts on riot gear*
PITCHERS AND CATCHERS HAVE BEGUN REPORTING! Some teams reported today, including my Yanks Dirt Giants (“George would’ve had ’em reporting last week!” someone probably said). It’s not much, but it’s baseball, and with it, springtime and warmer weather are just around the corner. And we don’t have to wait that long for “real baseball,” because the World Baseball Classic is happening this year, where sixteen nations (okay, fourteen plus Puerto Rico, and Chinese Taipei if you’re in the “Taiwan’s a part of China” camp) will duke it out for… you know the clichés for international things and for baseball. Take it one game at a time, see the ball hit the ball, béisbol been bery bery good to me, the like. But Opening Day is one of my favorite days of the year. The pomp, the circumstance, going up and down the neighborhood with your team for the Little League parade, the bunting… I’ve always liked the bunting.
Tomorrow on the other hand is a less good day for me because it’s Valentine’s Day. I don’t know what you do with you and yours to mark the occasion, but I’d say get them something. What? No idea, I’m not exactly the most qualified.
(Now would be a good time for you to scroll to the next horizontal line and not listen to a twenty-something’s rants.)
I don’t know when it started to get to me. Maybe freshman year of college, it was the dark of February and my tone still sounded like shit and I felt I was the worst player in school considering I felt I was getting passed over and cried mid-lesson about whether I’m up for this, the only time I’ve doubted whether I could do this. But even then it was part of a general murkiness that just seemed to make me go flat (playing in tune-wise), and I could chalk it up to the lack of any sports for two weeks since I hadn’t been peer pressured into liking hockey yet. Maybe it was seeing a therapist which forced me to face things from my past, to make me ask myself questions about myself, like whether I was worth saving, what it would take to save me, whether anyone could fall in love with a hopeless romantic… whether I’m good enough. The douchebag who shot up his college made me scared about myself, whether I could conceivably stoop that low. I mean I’d never, but all it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy, right? But I finally know the potential of my enemy. Some days beat others. It’s better when I’m in a streak of being busy. I’m dangerous with time on my hands. I overthink.
I finally come up with the idea of having a themed concert, similar to the Halloween concerts my teacher put on for our group when I was in high school. Valentine’s Day’s an easy one, right? Wait, I can’t put on a Valentine’s concert. How about an anti-Valentine’s concert? Deal. I’ve only got half a program though, so write a tome of a piece (linked it before, promised myself I wouldn’t this time) about it, about not feeling good enough for the world, for someone special, for yourself… but use the ending to remind yourself to keep fighting, that there’s something to fight for. A year later, get validation, even if that validation’s just a scattered collection of moments; of walks, of car rides home, a job well done, of salt and of sand and of soon, even though soon never came.
Two years to the day have now passed since that concert. I’ve grown up a lot since then, and I know the answers to the questions I asked the darkest depths of my mind, and the answers are all yes. It doesn’t mean the work’s over, just that I know what I’m fighting for’s worth it. Maybe I need reminders here and there, but now I’m armed for the fight.
We all take our lumps, and many of us here have our demons. I mean, you can’t say we’re not all a little messed up considering we read and comment and write here, if you know what I mean. But we are here, and we have our strength in our numbers, and reminders to keep it up. Not for the past, present, future, for someone or something. For us.
Keep at it. You’re worth it. We’re worth it.
Here’s some music.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOc9AO3znDg
(All right, you can come back now!)
Tonight’s (highlighted) sports action!
NBA
– Spurs at Pacers, 7:00
– Thunder at Wizards, 8:00 (TNT)
– Hawks at Blazers, 10:30 (TNT)
NHL
– Rangers at Blue Jackets, 7:30 (NBCSN)
NCAA Men’s
– #8 Louisville at Syracuse, 7:00 (ESPN)
– #4 Baylor at Texas Tech, 7:00 (ESPNU)
– Monmouth at Siena, 7:00 (ESPN 2)
– #9 West (Bahgawd) Virginia at #3 Kansas, 9:00 (ESPN)
– #2 Villanova at DePaul, 9:00 (CBSSN)
NCAA Women’s
– #6 South Carolina at #1 UConn, 9:00 (ESPN 2)
UConn’s going for their 100th win in a row which they might have mentioned once or twice. This game will be over by the end of the 1st. (Wait, they play quarters… so by the end of the 1st.)
NOW GO DO THAT VOODOO THAT YOU DO SO WELL!
Header photo credit: Me
http://68.media.tumblr.com/bf95d79fa032914053327c523b8332fc/tumblr_ol0ez1oE341rp0vkjo1_500.gif
http://images.sex.com/images/pinporn/2014/10/04/620/8360093.gif
http://iruntheinternet.com/lulzdump/images/gifs/StarTrek-voyager-SevenofNine-doctor-aroused-1343482432Z.gif
That’s a yummy alien.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/9132be393d560a51db8f0cf429940cf6/tumblr_okzb44ytgP1snmmclo2_500.gif
Hot take: Women’s college basketball is terrible to watch because 100-game win streaks can happen.
I *want* to be impressed by it, but the fact they haven’t even been remotely challenged (I think they routed the #2 ranked school earlier this year by like 25 on the road) makes it hard for me to be that wowed by it.
I saw a stat that said they have more 60+ point wins than single digit wins over the streak. That’s probably not a good thing for the rest of the sport.
It’s genuinely horrible no matter how much ESPN tries to play it up as historic.
Yeah, their constant allusions that it’s on par with UCLA and Wooden is ridiculous.
They’re like when a pro-WRASSLER goes on a year-run “defending” their title. Doesn’t matter who the opponent is, the situation, or well they play. The ending is predetermined, and everyone knows it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4GAj2v4BIE
WHAT??? Who doesn’t like watching solid fundamentals and gravity defying layups? If you’ll excuse me I’m gonna get back to watching Hoosiers.
https://youtu.be/u7tkK-1-fFM
http://68.media.tumblr.com/1e45ecac12daa1fe8b9354e940167abe/tumblr_okm251Phn21r3dvg3o1_1280.jpg
You go into a game expecting to lose by ten, have the lead the entire game, and piss in your pants at the very end. I’d rather lose by 45 than this.
Good thing I hit the liquor store earlier.
Oh, WCS gon drank.
Breaking News: Michael Flynn has resigned.
One sack of shit down, lots more to go.
Fuck Kansas.
I look forward to their inevitable choke to some random mid-major in the tournament.
Nice kick in the nuts to finish this off.
Condolences, WCS. Shitty way to lose my friend.
TimeKeeper cheating their asses off.
What are the odds charges get brought up, 0-0?
HAD NUTIN TO DO WITH E MAILS OR BENGAZI IT DONT MATTER LIBTARD SNOFLAEK
Libtard Snoflaeks is a great FF name
I mean, I guess I would have traded Mnuchin for Flynn, but can’t Trump voters stand up for themselves about both being bad for the country?
Was gonna post a link to a tweet I saw from a few hours ago declaring it the best cabinet ever assembled, but browsed the tweets from the account and found it’s actually extremely dry satire. Poe’s Law is kicking my ass these days.
http://media.giphy.com/media/5iVP2xmU0hmBW/giphy.gif
In political news, Flynn is out.
One down…
Also fuck Kansas.
Guess who’s on the short list to replace Flynn?
David Petraeus.
Of course, he can’t take the job until he notifies his probation office.
We just cannot make this shit up.
Will this madness last 4 years?
Only if you plan to live that long.
Jesus Fucking Christ, the idea that David Petraeus would ever be considered, for a single second, for any job that requires a security clearance is more likely to make my head explode than anything else I’ve heard so far in 2017.
fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
More like the blue bloods get away with “pressure” that would be automatically be called fouls on everyone else.
No blood no foul?
Appropriately, Huggins ran the “NC State play” for the road win.
Got similar results, too.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/4e7e6601741ef493b5c81ab3a7287843/tumblr_n08ot1x6EG1saa4c5o1_400.gif
So I’ve never understood this. Do the traditional powers like Kansas really have some ability come through in the clutch? Or do the challengers just shit their pants on their own? I don’t get it.
Challengers buckle. Start thinking about what will happen when they win and forget to keep playing. IMHO
I’ve also been thinking about this since the Super Bowl. It’s as if the Patriots simply imposed their will late in the game and it just didn’t matter what the Falcons did. I find it difficult to believe these teams just leave something in the tank so they can just roll the opposition late in games.
It’s utterly maddening, though.
Column A, Column B
Northern Iowa-esque.
If you guys could send our prime minister back in one piece it would be appreciated.
Judging from my Facebook feed, our gay community would like to tear him up
Yep, he’s dreamy.
Dear Christ, Cousinfuckers…