Your “Man, There’s Really Nothing On” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • non-Raiders:
    • a 4-year extension will ensure Jason Witten remains a Cowboy for life.
    • Chris Long has left the Patriots for the Eagles – 2 years, approximately $5.0 million.
    • No Fun League update: rules committee changes
      • as proposed, players are now prohibited from leaping over the offensive line on kicks.
      • the ‘Vontaze Burfict rule’ will allow automatic ejections for “egregious hits to the head”.
      • centralized replay, meaning giving senior VP of officiating Dean Blandino and the New York command center final say on calls in question.

    

So, no more of this.

  • Raiders:
    • in light of the announcement, an Oakland councilman is looking to terminate the one-year leases Davis has through 2018.
      • Said councilman Larry Reid: “They can go down to Santa Clara and play.”
        • indeed – striking while the iron is hot (with rage), Niners GM John Lynch proves he’s willing to burn the place to the ground, asking Raiders fans to “Jump on our train”.
      • Options for outside Oakland are bleak
        • the current UNLV stadium only houses 35,000 fans & has what one reporter called “average high school lockers”. It would take until 2018 to get it ready for an NFL game.
        • the Raiders are expected to be on the Mexico City & London schedules in both 2018 & ’19
    • on the other end of the spectrum, BunnyRanch brothel owner Dennis Hof is proposing a Raiders-themed brothel in Crystal, 90 miles north of Las Vegas.
      • according to Hof, “Raiders players and staff will get 50 percent off at his establishments, and there will be a VIP section at staffed with ‘over 20 cheerleader-garbed working girls’.”

The MMQB has Albert Breer discussing, in length, the logistics of moving a team to London.

  • right now, the present is working towards having 8 games/year over in Blighty, starting in 2018.
    • especially in the new stadium at Tottenham the NFL helped invest in.

Finally, ESPN had two good reads on franchise movement:

  • the first is about how the stadium maximization era – the period of the NFL “systematically mov[ing] its teams into revenue-generating behemoths, prioritizing finance over sentimentality at every turn” – has come to an end.
It ends west of The Strip & across the highway.
  • the second is about the two years Houston still had the Oilers before they moved to Tennessee, and how poorly that went as fans avoided giving the Adams family a dime, feeling “lame-duck football is money spent on a tuxedo for somebody else to wear to the prom”.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Panthers at Bruins – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Rangers at Sharks – 10:30PM | Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Warriors at Rockets – 8:00PM | TSN / NBANetwork
    • Wizards at Lakers – 10:30PM | TSN / NBANetwork
  • NCAA:
    • NIT semi-final:
      • Cal State (Bakersfield) vs. Georgia Tech – 7:00PM | ESPN
      • Central Florida vs. TCU – 9:00PM | ESPN
  • Soccer:
    • Concacaf 2018 World Cup Qualifier:
      • Trinidad & Tobago vs. México – 6:30PM | TELMUN
      • Panamá vs. USA – 10:00PM | TELMUN

There’s not a lot of sports to actually watch in the Lower 48 tonight, so perhaps I’ll suggest a movie – especially if the concept of “half-price Tuesday” still exists in your town.

A solid 2 hours; I’ve seen it twice. It’s as good a western as “The Magnificent Seven” remake was, although the road to redemption aspect seems a little overwrought, considering the viewer actually likes the character.

  • There’s no after-credits scene; instead, it’s right before the movie starts. The credits simply roll over Johnny Cash’s “The Man Comes Around”.

 

Another solid two hours. The foot doesn’t come off the gas. It’s the perfect movie if you enjoy watching dozens of snottily-dressed Europeans get shot. Sets up the third in the trilogy a bit ham-handedly.

  • The theatre I was in was a tad loud; I think the sound was a bit off, but it might be that the film is just noisy. Keep that in mind.

 

I’m a huge fan of the cartoon, but I’ve also got three nieces under age 8. They weren’t allowed to see “Kong: Skull Island”.

  • If you remember the animated movie, what will throw you off is the additional 40 minutes. The “I don’t remember that (sequence/song/character)” feeling can be a bit distracting. Suck it up; the little kids with you won’t know the difference.

If all else fails, you can always find a seat at the DFO poker table. Membership details are here. Remember: if there’s no other options, ABANDON YOUR FAMILY!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Seventeen (17) new motherfucking NFL rules. Fuck that shit.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Did anyone else see Deaspin’s “Look At Jay Cutler’s Ass” headline and immediately assume it was just an asterisk?

Senor Weaselo
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I think it means he likes us.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
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Then why didn’t he bring us a dead bird?

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

He respects our ability to hunt (for gifs, I assume).

JerBear50
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JerBear50

Ehh, wounded birds are really more of Rivers’ thing.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

“Wounded birds? You can’t prove anything beyond a reasonable doubt.”
— Ray Lewis

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

What the fuck?

yeah right
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Mark Davis seems pleased with the outcome.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

How did I not see this before?

Porky Prime
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Porky Prime

The Raiders should play their next two years in the LA Coliseum. NO ONE DENIES THIS.

I was actually in Vegas when the vote went through. It was a typical bloodbath, moneywise, but one I was fully prepared for.

What I was not prepared for was the guy in first class who decided he was going to have a coronary and die ten minutes into our ascent, forcing an emergency turnaround which inevitably stranded me in Vegas an extra day.

This is yet another reason I don’t call myself “Lucky Prime.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Holy shit!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS
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Whoa.

Porky Prime
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Porky Prime

I haven’t been to Vegas in 6 years. Right after I got there, there was the attempted robbery at the Bellagio, then the bus shooting, then heart attack guy. Sprinkled hither and thither were booze, strippers, volatile gambling, a bit of weed, and the Raiders move.

Well…it wasn’t boring.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
entropy
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You had a big week.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

But what did you do with the pantyhose and English-Russian Bible/phrasebook?

BrettFavresColonoscopy
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I was told tonight that I need to drop everything and watch Twin Peaks since I’ve never seen it. Arguments for and against?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

If you like David Lynch and all of his weird obscureness, symbolism, and verge of madness cinematography you’ll really enjoy it. If not you will fucking hate it and should go here instead:
http://www.twinpeaksrestaurant.com/

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
BrettFavresColonoscopy
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Two strong reasons “for”

BrettFavresColonoscopy
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Shit, I just remembered I have brownies I took from the united club yesterday in my backpack. Still good?

Senor Weaselo
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Yes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Don’t eat them all at once.
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Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Can you introduce me to your dealer?”

Senor Weaselo
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The Temple Guards were already on the border of some weird shit, but this is finally over the line!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

In case anybody is interested.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0059646/

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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WCS
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Yvonne Furneaux was such a beautiful bitch in that movie.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Agreed. Also Catherine Deneuve has always been one of my favorites and to me her performance was one in a lifetime.

Brocky
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

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$30 at Walgreens

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brocky
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Apparently neither one of us has…….

*This week.

Senor Weaselo
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Jinkies.

Mr. Ayo
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Mr. Ayo

Go on…

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Penny Pax as Velma or GTFO

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