Your “It’s Still Real To Me, Dammit!” Sunday Evening Open Thread

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvTNyKIGXiI

So, Sunday night is Wrestlemania. I’m over at a buddy’s drinking shitty beer (on purpose) and eating the kind of snacks designed to guarantee gas. If you have the Network, or feel like dealing with the Russians that hijacked the US election, it’s usually the one good show of the year. (I can’t say “great”, because they’ve dropped some duds in recent years.)

Still, as much as it’s a throwback to my youth – watching it on TV in the 70s; getting dropped off at the PNE Forum at age 10 – it’s also as much about getting together with friends as an annual thing. I don’t fish, so this is my deal.

WWE WrestleMania 33 match card

COMPETITORS TITLE / STIPULATION BRAND
Goldberg (c) vs. Brock Lesnar Universal Championship Raw
Bray Wyatt (c) vs. Randy Orton WWE Championship SD
The Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns Raw
Triple H vs. Seth Rollins Non-Sanctioned Raw
Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles SD
John Cena & Nikki Bella vs. The Miz & Maryse* SD
Bayley (c) vs. Charlotte Flair vs. Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax Women’s Championship (Fatal 4Way Elimination) Raw
Chris Jericho (c) vs. Kevin Owens United States Championshp Raw
Dean Ambrose (c) vs. Baron Corbin Intercontinental Championship SD
Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson (c) vs. Enzo Amore & Big Cass vs. Cesaro & Sheamus Tag Team Championship Triple Threat Ladder Match Raw
Alexa Bliss (c) vs. All available women Women’s Championship (Kickoff Show) SD
Neville (c) vs. Austin Airies Cruiserweight Championship (Kickoff Show)
Big Show, Braun Strowman, Sami Zayn, etc. Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal (Kickoff Show) Both

(grid courtesy cbssports.com)

All told, it seems to be about a five-hour deal. I’m showing up for the regular event, although we may just rewind & then fast-forward through the pre-show just in case there’s a reference point we’ll need for later in the show.

I have no idea which match will be the best of the evening / “Match of the Year”, but I’m expecting good things from the Jericho-Owens blow-off to their rivalry. In case you’ve forgotten how friendship died, here’s a sample of the best “story” the WWE has told in about 5 years:

Beyond that, the mixed-tag match involving the Cenas & the Mizanins has been enjoyable solely because of the buildup. Miz has been ridiculous on the mic, and the “Total Bellas” vignettes they created for the bit are modern versions of the videos the WWF ran back in the 1980s, like the “Fuji Vice” skits.

It serves no more purpose than to have Cena propose to Nikki after the match, so “Total Bellas” and “Total Divas” have season finales, and justifies Cena being off TV while he shoots more movies, but damn haven’t they been fun.

There’s not much surprise going into the Brock – Goldberg match. When asked “What’s the plan after Wrestlemania?” on Twitter, his response was:

Late Friday night rumours have the Undertaker – Reigns match going on last, because Taker has told Vince he’s done after this match. The stories about the Undertaker being a traditionalist means he’ll likely go out on his back, so as to pass the torch. But if his body can hold up, it should be something worthy of his retirement. Also of note is news that “Good Ol’ JR” Jim Ross has apparently been signed for one night, to call one match. So all signs point to a “slobber knocker” followed by a fond farewell.

Of course, the likely best show of the year will be Monday’s RAW, which most people will miss because they are watching the end of the Madness. Unless you hate U*NC.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Sharks at Canucks – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Flyers at Rangers – 7:30 PM | NBCSN
    • Ducks at Flames – 9:30PM | Sportsnet
  • NCAA:
    • Women’s Championship – 6:00PM | ESPN / TSN4
      • I typed this on Thursday, so I’m going to pencil in Connecticut as one of the two finalists
        • maybe I’ll correct it in time.
        • HOLY SHIT! someone knocked off the Huskies.
      • Mississippi State vs. South Carolina
        • SC is the third school since 1984 to have both teams in their respective finals.
          • looks like it’s up to the ladies to bring home some glory.
    • Lacrosse – Duke vs. U*NC – 7:00PM | ESPNU
  • MLS: Portland Timbers vs. New England Revolution – 9:00 PM | ESPN2
  • MLB: Cubs at Cardinals – 8:30PM | ESPN / TSN2

There’s also “The Walking Dead” season finale at 9:00PM, but I’m not watching that until Monday after RAW, so don’t expect a recap until Tuesday.

Hippo’s got you Monday for the Men’s final. ANYBODY BUT THE TAR HEELS!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Brocky

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Unsurprised

Everybody’s horny

Unsurprised

How is this not WWE’s Queen of the Ring throne?
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Brocky

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Brocky
Unsurprised

All five fingers? She’s definitely a keeper.

Col. Duke LaCross

Alexa…sweet jaizus!

Unsurprised

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King Hippo

Most Glorious el beisbol Cardinals are still winning. El Gallo IS shutting those fuckers out!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Get your arse in poker

Brocky

ALexa is on, Just FYI

theeWeeBabySeamus

I try not to watch her on TV.
It tends to ruin things for us in the bedroom.

Brocky

oh shit, you’re a former NXT Tag champ?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Former what now?

Brocky

lol, she’s engaged to another wrestler. who happens to be a former NXT tag champ. stupid wrestling nerd joke.

You’re obviously her sugar daddy, the “engagement” is a pr stunt to make the fans happy

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, I knew that actually. TGISF research.
Funny thing tho….sharp objects generally make douchebags think twice. Firearms work even better.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

tWBS is the only guy who can make her squirt.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ll neither confirm nor deny this. But I will commit to trying really hard if she’ll allow me.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Admit it; it came in really handy when you had that grill fire with the brats.

King Hippo

nein. TIRED.

theeWeeBabySeamus

yay…vote down still works.

Unsurprised

LOL
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Brocky

Braun Strowman: legitimately the best booked “monster” wwe has had in years.

and he got stuck on the pre show.

Remember when he was a rosebud?

http://pm1.narvii.com/5905/9cb031a1213db9cdabf5f78accc9b82ce4b3c622_hq.jpg

Unsurprised


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Brocky

Shit, I forgot I had another bliss gif saved. ah well. guess which one she is!

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Unsurprised

Oh, hey
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Gracious….

Brocky

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Brocky

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Unsurprised

That’s a wonderful job.

Brocky

He missed a lot of spots though

Unsurprised

I think this was taken halfway through

Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

And the back
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Unsurprised

More Chloe
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Brocky

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think I like her…. I mean, like-like, not just like.

Brocky

I legitimately don’t understand why her tv and film career didn’t take off. she was in pitch perfect and a few tv shows. she’s gorgeous and a really good actress.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

And flexible….. in the roles she could take on.

LemonJello

Welp, Later, Taters! I’ve got adulting to do in the morning!

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Brocky

adios, thank you for your contributions

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

100 count to pin from this angle.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Alright, last one. Believe it or not I have to be a responsible adult for a little while.
Then…POKER!!!!!!
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Unsurprised

I’m going to beat the poker pun into a puddle.

Brocky

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Unsurprised

The original Harley Quinn will always be superior.

Brocky

are you referring to the animated series voice or margot robbie?

Unsurprised

The character and costume. Margot Robbie is a ridiculously high level of achievement towards human perfection.

LemonJello

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“Ladies, there’s no fighting in the War Room!”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Rough lesbian sex.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Is there another kind?
Pornhub says no.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

AS YOU KNOW; angry peggers are out there. I would assume angry strap-onners as well.

At least according to my “D” drive.

LemonJello

D drive? Is that what the kids call their lower swimsuit zone now?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Both.

King Hippo

u no like glamcore bro??

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Has any woman rassler ruptured her implants?

What I’m askin’ is any deez chicks broke a tit?

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL…I can hear it now…

MEDIC…WE’VE GOT A SILICONE EMERGENCY!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That has to fucking suck.

Gratliff

Apparently, Kim’s done it half a dozen times. I’m sure you just get used to it, like a bum knee.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’m thinking that may not be the healthiest thing, but one has to earn a living.

Unsurprised

It beats what like 90% of people do for a living.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Thus the sarcasm as indicated by the second part of the statement.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Which one is the small brunette? My tastes go towards her.

Gratliff

AJ Lee. She’s the one who ended up marrying CM Punk.

LemonJello

I recognized three or four words in that sentence.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I will not googlebing cm punk so as not the kilt de boner.

Brick Meathook

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LemonJello

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Gratliff

All these attitude era fans really missed the boat. Layla El was the most gorgeous of the diva types.

LemonJello

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Suddenly, I’m skeert…
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nomonkeyfun

Don’t you just hate it when the tape comes off your hands.

Unsurprised

So when does WWE just dispense with clothing altogether for its female performers?

LemonJello

Soon as Herr Charlemango defunds the FCC?

Unsurprised

Finally, deregulation I can get behind.

LemonJello

“Please, sir, can I have some more?”

Unsurprised

Let me see what I can find.

Unsurprised

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LemonJello

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Unsurprised

OHAI

Brick Meathook

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Brocky

totally going against the theme bro

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Which is why I am in full support; go against a fucking “theme”… god damn hive minders.

Oh, got a tad carried away.

Brocky

I miss her

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Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

I’ll play
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LemonJello

The more the merrier!
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Brocky

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Brocky

also seamus, I apologize for saying moose instead of you earlier. force of habit.

theeWeeBabySeamus

No worries.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

SEE THAT IT NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN!!

Unless it happens again, which is cool.
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LemonJello

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Unsurprised

She seems friendly.

Senor Weaselo

Today’s Facebook game: If people are vague, are they talking about Walking Dead or wrestling?

LemonJello

Yes? I’ll go with “Yes.”

Unsurprised

Trick question. You mute everyone not on your Close Friends list and then mute those people the first time they vaguebook so you don’t care.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

They’re talking about how you’ve hurt them

LemonJello

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She seems to oscillate between butterface and sneaky hot, I don’t understand it…

Brocky

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Gratliff

from her last (and only good) match at SummerSlam 2 years ago:
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Brocky

since moose and lemonjello are having a gif off, i figured i’d contribute;

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theeWeeBabySeamus

YOU STAY AWAY FROM HER!!!!!!

Brocky

Buddy I had eyes for her before this site even got founded.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well….now you can just stop it.

Brocky

make me

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theeWeeBabySeamus

No, make me.

LemonJello

May need to make an adjustment to the arena’s HVAC.

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Shogun Marcus

You leave it RIGHT WHERE IT IS!