https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvTNyKIGXiI
So, Sunday night is Wrestlemania. I’m over at a buddy’s drinking shitty beer (on purpose) and eating the kind of snacks designed to guarantee gas. If you have the Network, or feel like dealing with the Russians that hijacked the US election, it’s usually the one good show of the year. (I can’t say “great”, because they’ve dropped some duds in recent years.)
Still, as much as it’s a throwback to my youth – watching it on TV in the 70s; getting dropped off at the PNE Forum at age 10 – it’s also as much about getting together with friends as an annual thing. I don’t fish, so this is my deal.
WWE WrestleMania 33 match card
COMPETITORS | TITLE / STIPULATION | BRAND |
---|---|---|
Goldberg (c) vs. Brock Lesnar | Universal Championship | Raw |
Bray Wyatt (c) vs. Randy Orton | WWE Championship | SD |
The Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns | Raw | |
Triple H vs. Seth Rollins | Non-Sanctioned | Raw |
Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles | SD | |
John Cena & Nikki Bella vs. The Miz & Maryse* | SD | |
Bayley (c) vs. Charlotte Flair vs. Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax | Women’s Championship (Fatal 4Way Elimination) | Raw |
Chris Jericho (c) vs. Kevin Owens | United States Championshp | Raw |
Dean Ambrose (c) vs. Baron Corbin | Intercontinental Championship | SD |
Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson (c) vs. Enzo Amore & Big Cass vs. Cesaro & Sheamus | Tag Team Championship Triple Threat Ladder Match | Raw |
Alexa Bliss (c) vs. All available women | Women’s Championship (Kickoff Show) | SD |
Neville (c) vs. Austin Airies | Cruiserweight Championship (Kickoff Show) | |
Big Show, Braun Strowman, Sami Zayn, etc. | Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal (Kickoff Show) | Both |
(grid courtesy cbssports.com)
All told, it seems to be about a five-hour deal. I’m showing up for the regular event, although we may just rewind & then fast-forward through the pre-show just in case there’s a reference point we’ll need for later in the show.
I have no idea which match will be the best of the evening / “Match of the Year”, but I’m expecting good things from the Jericho-Owens blow-off to their rivalry. In case you’ve forgotten how friendship died, here’s a sample of the best “story” the WWE has told in about 5 years:
Beyond that, the mixed-tag match involving the Cenas & the Mizanins has been enjoyable solely because of the buildup. Miz has been ridiculous on the mic, and the “Total Bellas” vignettes they created for the bit are modern versions of the videos the WWF ran back in the 1980s, like the “Fuji Vice” skits.
It serves no more purpose than to have Cena propose to Nikki after the match, so “Total Bellas” and “Total Divas” have season finales, and justifies Cena being off TV while he shoots more movies, but damn haven’t they been fun.
There’s not much surprise going into the Brock – Goldberg match. When asked “What’s the plan after Wrestlemania?” on Twitter, his response was:
Taking a little time off to reflect then heading back to the gym #AskGoldberg https://t.co/2MXjBZ0Yn6
— Bill Goldberg (@Goldberg) March 31, 2017
Late Friday night rumours have the Undertaker – Reigns match going on last, because Taker has told Vince he’s done after this match. The stories about the Undertaker being a traditionalist means he’ll likely go out on his back, so as to pass the torch. But if his body can hold up, it should be something worthy of his retirement. Also of note is news that “Good Ol’ JR” Jim Ross has apparently been signed for one night, to call one match. So all signs point to a “slobber knocker” followed by a fond farewell.
Of course, the likely best show of the year will be Monday’s RAW, which most people will miss because they are watching the end of the Madness. Unless you hate U*NC.
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- Sharks at Canucks – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
- Flyers at Rangers – 7:30 PM | NBCSN
- Ducks at Flames – 9:30PM | Sportsnet
- NCAA:
- Women’s Championship – 6:00PM | ESPN / TSN4
I typed this on Thursday, so I’m going to pencil in Connecticut as one of the two finalistsmaybe I’ll correct it in time.- HOLY SHIT! someone knocked off the Huskies.
- Mississippi State vs. South Carolina
- SC is the third school since 1984 to have both teams in their respective finals.
- looks like it’s up to the ladies to bring home some glory.
- SC is the third school since 1984 to have both teams in their respective finals.
- Lacrosse – Duke vs. U*NC – 7:00PM | ESPNU
- Women’s Championship – 6:00PM | ESPN / TSN4
- MLS: Portland Timbers vs. New England Revolution – 9:00 PM | ESPN2
- MLB: Cubs at Cardinals – 8:30PM | ESPN / TSN2
There’s also “The Walking Dead” season finale at 9:00PM, but I’m not watching that until Monday after RAW, so don’t expect a recap until Tuesday.
Hippo’s got you Monday for the Men’s final. ANYBODY BUT THE TAR HEELS!
Everybody’s horny
How is this not WWE’s Queen of the Ring throne?
What’s making Xavier’s hair stand up like that?
http://akns-images.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/2013104/rs_560x415-131104124556-1024.theres-something-about-mary-hair-gel-diaz.jpg
this is for you seamus:
https://twitter.com/WrestleMania/status/848733430372225024/photo/1
All five fingers? She’s definitely a keeper.
Alexa…sweet jaizus!
Most Glorious el beisbol Cardinals are still winning. El Gallo IS shutting those fuckers out!!
Get your arse in poker
ALexa is on, Just FYI
I try not to watch her on TV.
It tends to ruin things for us in the bedroom.
oh shit, you’re a former NXT Tag champ?
Former what now?
lol, she’s engaged to another wrestler. who happens to be a former NXT tag champ. stupid wrestling nerd joke.
You’re obviously her sugar daddy, the “engagement” is a pr stunt to make the fans happy
Yeah, I knew that actually. TGISF research.
Funny thing tho….sharp objects generally make douchebags think twice. Firearms work even better.
tWBS is the only guy who can make her squirt.
I’ll neither confirm nor deny this. But I will commit to trying really hard if she’ll allow me.
Admit it; it came in really handy when you had that grill fire with the brats.
nein. TIRED.
yay…vote down still works.
LOL
Braun Strowman: legitimately the best booked “monster” wwe has had in years.
and he got stuck on the pre show.
Remember when he was a rosebud?
http://pm1.narvii.com/5905/9cb031a1213db9cdabf5f78accc9b82ce4b3c622_hq.jpg
…
Shit, I forgot I had another bliss gif saved. ah well. guess which one she is!
http://68.media.tumblr.com/dcd40d2405eaf0e63dd2d2c4b9fc5f2f/tumblr_ndrs9f7LTz1snmmclo1_1280.jpg
Oh, hey
Gracious….
http://68.media.tumblr.com/6f4041800ef0faad0489df9c01472469/tumblr_ocm71atiIn1ug5c9zo1_1280.jpg
That’s a wonderful job.
He missed a lot of spots though
I think this was taken halfway through
And the back
http://files.sharenator.com/Golf-ball-hitting-steel-at-150-miles-per-hour-recorded-at-70000-fps-s276x300-415380.gif
More Chloe
I think I like her…. I mean, like-like, not just like.
I legitimately don’t understand why her tv and film career didn’t take off. she was in pitch perfect and a few tv shows. she’s gorgeous and a really good actress.
And flexible….. in the roles she could take on.
Welp, Later, Taters! I’ve got adulting to do in the morning!
adios, thank you for your contributions
100 count to pin from this angle.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/31fb2ea7a2f48306f4b3ead97589c4f8/tumblr_ncm1imZog51qd6higo1_1280.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/ad1c4b6797ee8259a094814ad44f7394/tumblr_ndz2m8fQb01snmmclo1_500.gif
Alright, last one. Believe it or not I have to be a responsible adult for a little while.
Then…POKER!!!!!!
I’m going to beat the poker pun into a puddle.
The original Harley Quinn will always be superior.
are you referring to the animated series voice or margot robbie?
The character and costume. Margot Robbie is a ridiculously high level of achievement towards human perfection.
“Ladies, there’s no fighting in the War Room!”
http://pa1.narvii.com/6215/1c73de15b6947f084514ac505ccf7a9ef4ee658d_hq.gif
Rough lesbian sex.
Is there another kind?
Pornhub says no.
AS YOU KNOW; angry peggers are out there. I would assume angry strap-onners as well.
At least according to my “D” drive.
D drive? Is that what the kids call their lower swimsuit zone now?
Both.
u no like glamcore bro??
Has any woman rassler ruptured her implants?
What I’m askin’ is any deez chicks broke a tit?
LOL…I can hear it now…
MEDIC…WE’VE GOT A SILICONE EMERGENCY!!!!!
Gail Kim and Mickie James have, I believe.
http://www.gerweck.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/gail-kim2.jpg
http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/prowrestling/images/5/54/Mickie_James_2.jpg
That has to fucking suck.
Apparently, Kim’s done it half a dozen times. I’m sure you just get used to it, like a bum knee.
I’m thinking that may not be the healthiest thing, but one has to earn a living.
It beats what like 90% of people do for a living.
Thus the sarcasm as indicated by the second part of the statement.
These two really seem exited for tonight’s event.
http://dailywrestlingnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Layla-Diva-Search-001_009.gif
http://pa1.narvii.com/5729/209bc215646d5da49e8a8b971f1c43b9a51d306f_hq.gif
Which one is the small brunette? My tastes go towards her.
AJ Lee. She’s the one who ended up marrying CM Punk.
I recognized three or four words in that sentence.
I will not googlebing cm punk so as not the kilt de boner.
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/09/11/10/3830E81300000578-3783874-image-a-10_1473586210184.jpg
http://sustainableagriculture.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/silo-collapse-fail.gif
All these attitude era fans really missed the boat. Layla El was the most gorgeous of the diva types.
Suddenly, I’m skeert…
http://dailywrestlingnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Sable-gifs-001.gif
Don’t you just hate it when the tape comes off your hands.
http://giant.gfycat.com/OrdinaryGlamorousDikkops.gif
http://dailywrestlingnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Torrie-Wilson-gifs-0053.gif
So when does WWE just dispense with clothing altogether for its female performers?
Soon as Herr Charlemango defunds the FCC?
http://68.media.tumblr.com/5c27e18fabc5a1f6c804472bc009c9dd/tumblr_odgze0ZgyG1u1ljrzo1_540.gif
Finally, deregulation I can get behind.
http://img.pandawhale.com/post-29439-Agents-of-Shield-Sky-running-g-10Uy.gif
http://101.imagebam.com/download/MoYRDgpCwzphZQnj6qiUGg/54115/541145605/Chloe.gif
“Please, sir, can I have some more?”
Let me see what I can find.
OHAI
totally going against the theme bro
Which is why I am in full support; go against a fucking “theme”… god damn hive minders.
Oh, got a tad carried away.
I miss her
I’ll play
The more the merrier!
also seamus, I apologize for saying moose instead of you earlier. force of habit.
No worries.
SEE THAT IT NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN!!
Unless it happens again, which is cool.
?w=276
She seems friendly.
Today’s Facebook game: If people are vague, are they talking about Walking Dead or wrestling?
Yes? I’ll go with “Yes.”
Trick question. You mute everyone not on your Close Friends list and then mute those people the first time they vaguebook so you don’t care.
They’re talking about how you’ve hurt them
She seems to oscillate between butterface and sneaky hot, I don’t understand it…
from her last (and only good) match at SummerSlam 2 years ago:
http://gifyu.com/images/BabyishPepperyCougar.gif
since moose and lemonjello are having a gif off, i figured i’d contribute;
YOU STAY AWAY FROM HER!!!!!!
Buddy I had eyes for her before this site even got founded.
Well….now you can just stop it.
make me
No, make me.
http://giant.gfycat.com/GorgeousInstructiveConey.gif
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-h75UL44YhyU/Vbhwhmc6z4I/AAAAAAAAhA8/khC9CmAuY5o/s1600/Entrance%2B2.gif
May need to make an adjustment to the arena’s HVAC.
You leave it RIGHT WHERE IT IS!