Yep, I know. That title’s gonna need some ‘splaining.
For now let’s just say things got weird(er than normal) around the poker table last night. But holy shit that was funny. Also, Steve Bannon would have felt right at home. Or is that Kuschner who would have felt at home? Meh, who cares? Neither is invited, anyway. Also, did I mention it was funny as hell?
Well, we all thought it was funny as hell, at least. Anyway, here’s what happened as best as I remember. We might have all been slightly inebriated…which it now dawns on me might have been the only reason it was funny. So stop reading right now, and go get hammered before reading the rest of this.
I’ll wait…..
……..
OK, you ready now? Here it is, then…
…..I remember it like it was only yesterday (it WAS yesterday, dumbass)…
We were playing poker, and I was kicking ALL of their asses as usual….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ll6CNFVFTC8
OK fine…maybe I had a little trouble last night….
We WERE playing poker, but in truth it was MrAyo who was kicking everyone’s ass. Like I mean he was taking everybody down, and sans lube. It was epic. Dude had a stack over $320K by the time we quit.
But I digress….
At some point in the evening Brocky (yeah, that guy again) announces that he’s going to replace certain keywords in certain phrases with the word “cuck”. Well, if the rest of those guys (MrAyo, WCS, DonT….. and I think HoratioCornblower might have not yet passed out when this first started) reacted anything like I did, they re-read that statement of Brocky’s several times to be sure they’d read it correctly, and then as usual thought “WTF is Brocky talking about now????”.
And then he showed us what he was talking about.
At first it didn’t seem to go anywhere. Until the movie (and song and literature) titles started. Then the drunks and myself had about 2 hours of laughing so hard that today my stomach is sore. No shit.
I know I’m not explaining this as well as I could, partially because I’m still laughing. But also because I expect those dudes to reprise this comedic event tonight here, in the comments (and the rest of you to join in too, of course). So I don’t want to give away too many of the gems we had. Also, did I mention we were drunk? So there’s a good chance I wouldn’t remember most of them anyway. But here’s a couple of examples….
White Men Can’t Cuck
A Tale of Two Cucks by Charles Dickens
Don’t Stop Cucking by Journey
Cucky (that’s “Rocky”, btw…lmfao)
So you get the idea, even if you don’t think it’s funny (trust me, you will if you’re drunk and if these guys don’t let me down tonight). But this went on for what must have been close to two hours last night, at least. And all the while that Ayo just kept taking our fake money. Dude was a shark.
–
Quick shout out to BeerGuyRob (CuckGuyRob? BeerCuckRob?) for whom I’m filling in tonight on the open thread duties. I hope you are enjoying your weekend off, Sir. But please don’t drink yourself into a Coma. Otherwise how will I know if I like next season of The Walking Dead or not?
We miss you (and also, an obligatory Cuck You!!!).
(On semi-unrelated matter….. if you do drink yourself to death this weekend, can I have your dog???)
–
What The Cuck is Going On In Sports?
KingHippo has already briefed you on Lesser Footy earlier today. Which is good since I don’t know cuck from shinola when it comes to that.
Baseball: Minnesota and Baltimore are the only two unbeatens left in the early going. I know, sounds weird, right?
- Boston at Detroit, 1:10 pm – MLBN
- NYY at Baltimore, 4:05pm – FS1
- CHC at Milwaukee/Miami at NYM, 7:00pm – MLBN Regional Split
- Full Slate
Hockey: Did I mention that the Caps clinched top seed in the East and the points race for yet another year. Playoffs soon….Yay!!!
- Yinz at Toronto, 7pm – NHLN
- Full Slate
Basketball: As usual I’m not talking about them.
Golf: The Masters is ongoing, but the leading groups won’t go until I’m done writing this so….
–
OK, I suppose I don’t have much more then…
So let your hair down…
And you Cucks be safe out there….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=meetkfD5ls8
Now, go cuck around in the comments. So to speak…
–
Wow, the Leafs’ goalie saved 12 of 15 shots…and still won. Yep, he was facing Fleury.
Fleury must’ve been drunk. I haven’t seen a goalie struggle to see the puck lime that sjnce the last time I watched a sledge hockey game.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/b71a640dbed1b6be8cc86676b309f04f/tumblr_o4m7fxnf6Z1uupfn8o1_500.gif
/adds to Amazon Xmas wishlist
http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Bubbles-trailer-park-boys-eyes.gif
What in the fuck…?
POKER??
Still sitting alone at the hold ’em table.
Cuck you cuckers.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/c3d7df49c8da656bc6738e69a8c6dc56/tumblr_onurueJzwX1tr6ni8o1_500.gif
The faces of increasing Vince McMahon ecstasy needs be a bigger meme.
You dumbasses realize this shit is going to put us right at the top of any alt-right limpdick’s Google search, right? Do you want Pro Football Talk? Because that’s how you get Pro Football Talk.
I just took care of that.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/c452e5319fad9ebe680921ef287c59e7/tumblr_onuupeXXvj1r745vdo3_540.gif
TOO MANY CUCKS!!
Darkwing Cuck?
Let’s. Get. Danger-cucks!!
http://68.media.tumblr.com/5752ba042ca78de1849609d310b86439/tumblr_mtump2CZo91snmmclo1_500.gif
TIL Bill Burr is a fan of One Punch Man. Apparently, Netflix is corrupting even the largest haters of the nerdy masses.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/398bdad05fd8fcdd69b8115f7ecec707/tumblr_muj0yifKnI1snmmclo1_500.gif
Eagles up on the Redacteds, 14-3 in the third quarter.
What the cuck is going on here?
http://68.media.tumblr.com/4e8bfa4c37d448a9e0e3148834b25bcc/tumblr_mw63ffdKES1s4q8pco3_250.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/8ebe411a47b34365e52122bd284c1bcc/tumblr_mldkkrxiVA1qiz3j8o1_500.gif
The Nationals are losing AGGRESSIVELY.
Well, if you are going to do something you should commit and do it right with quality and pride in workmanship.
I agree. In fact, we should all be committed.
Wait……
http://68.media.tumblr.com/154567bd8518c09b7a33e21696daaf74/tumblr_nve1y5cBQH1siheobo4_400.gif
Like me at LYFE
/losing that is
This is boring as cuck. Later, cucks.
Iron Cuck
The Incredible Cuck
Iron Cuck 2
Thuck
Captain Cuck: The First Cuck
Marvel’s The Cucks
Iron Cuck 3
Thuck 2: Cuck World
Captain Cuck: The Winter Cuck
Cucks of the Galaxy
Cuck-Man
Captain Cuck: Cuck War
Doctor Cuck
Cucks of the Galaxy vol. 2
Cucker-Man: Homecucking
Agents of C.U.C.K.
Agent Cucker
Darecuck
Cuck Jones
Luke Cuck
Cuck Fist
Marvel Cuck Universe
It occurs to me that Luck Cuck doesn’t belong on here for … reasons.
A Cuck of Their Own…was one of my favs last night. Can’t remember whose that was.
Meh.
Cuckman
Cuckman Returns
Cuckman Forever
Cuckman & Cuckin’
Cuckman Begins
The Dark Cuck
The Dark Cuck Cucks
Cuck of Steel
Cuckman v Cuckerman: Dawn of Cucking
The Cuckman
Wonder Cuck
Aquacuck
Cuck League
59 on the Pens should be flogged and never allowed to play in the NHL after missing the empty net.
When you cucks get tired of cucking around, I’m parked at the hold ’em table, talking to myself.
Adorable cucks…
d’awwwwww
Battlestar Galacticuck
The Phantom Cuck
Attack of the Cucks
Revenge of the Cucks
Rogue Cuck: A Cuck Wars Cuck
Cuck Wars
The Empire Cucks Back
The Return of the Cuck
The Cuck Awakens
The Last Cuck
Too Cuck Too Cuckious
Hehehehe…..CUCK THE POLICE
To cuck a mockingbird
Cuck and cucker
Beavis and Cuck-head
To cuck a cuckingbird, dumbass
http://25.media.tumblr.com/388a807add1950a970d386ac7455f33c/tumblr_mvjjyib70b1rb4mroo2_r1_250.gif
http://25.media.tumblr.com/4347144e20cd279c837ba1731dcad2be/tumblr_mvjklpmzNT1qkdj7xo4_500.gif
http://www.wallpapersxl.com/wallpapers/348×356/anna-silk-and-zoie-palmer/1824563/anna-silk-and-zoie-palmer-tumblr-mynnqomitsolko-1824563.2.jpg
Looks familiar.
Cucky and the Bandit
With the theme song by Jerry Reed…
Cuckbound and Down
The Big Lebowscuck
http://www.worldstopmost.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Blernsball-Top-10-Most-Famous-Fictional-Sports-2018.jpg
JAZZ IT UP ALREADY!
Cuck Cassidy and the Sundance Cuck
How boring is el beisbol? Once I got into Lesser Footy, it made el beisbol seem even slower-paced and pointless.
I will murder you.
CUCK ZOMBIE : MORE CUCKER THAN CUCKER
This is just like that classic poker movie, Mavercuck.
“Cool Hand Cuck,” or “Cuck Hand Luke”
And the sequel, “The Cuckler”
The World According To Cuck
Alt. The Cuck According To Garp
I have read that book!
The cucktrix: reloaded
Cuckday the 13th part vii: the new cuck
Cuckoween
For King Hippo:
Somebody get this man spinning at an alt-right rave, stat!!
Ice Steelers rested some regulars and Fleury is starting. Conspiracy!!!!!!!!!!
Someone should show Kessel all the hatchet jobs the Toronto media did to him to get him motivated. Toronto wants the point and Pittsburgh wants it to be Monday. Ugh.
MOAR Canadia is good fun for everybody. Who the fuck wants fucking Tampa or the Islanders in the playoffs again??
Though the Leafs are the Yankees of Canadia, without the winning, eh?
Picture of ESPN and the media was run by Pats fans from Bosto and the players hired are former Pats players and no matter how shitty they are, they always lead with the Pats.
2nd intermission and CBC, which should be neutral, are bitching about how only the Leafs’ goalie is getting runned at. As if their players aren’t a bunch of cheap shot artists.
Fuck em.
Tampa makes for a good story this year
and if Flower is starting, how come it’s only 2-2??
The first thing I thought of was A Cuckwork Orange.
Removing the comma makes it magnitudes funnier, but also extremely unlikely.
So….if I referred to “cuckball” which sport would that be?
Baseball, because baseball sucks.
Damn right!
As I watched Week 4 Redzone (not even a particularly good week) re-runs last Sunday on NFLN – when el beisbol was on all day and BRAND NEW for opening day, it struck me just how hard it will be not to kill myself over the next 5 months.
One could sing House of Pain’s “Jump Around” with “cuck” inserted as many places as humanly possible. Would that not work?
Cuck up Cuck up and Cuck down?
cuck! cuck! Everybody cuck!!!
Exactly!!!
I honestly think that was one of the combinations we came up with, the list I copied is only from abouts halfway through the thread. It was absurd.
aw shit, I skimmed and no see it. I thought I had a late entry.
It isnt, and that was my point, so many are not listed.
In hindsight, it is staggering how much effort we ended up putting into the game.
No shit it was absurd.
I think you got no more than half of it there. Not sure.
The best thing about hockey? FUCK BASEBALL!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlORWhsJjNM
The beachball is like the fucking seagulls that always show up in Wrigley!
Sounds like the late 90s baseball star the cubs should make up with is Randy Johnson, not Sammy Sosa.
Yup, these aren’t Bill Simmons’ readers
http://68.media.tumblr.com/7a8a8292472c59c485be1c59b45132a9/tumblr_motdxjLkGS1qedb29o1_500.gif
Today, we all cheer for the Ice Steelers to win in regulation
Please God make this so.
Yeah but if Canada’s Teams doesn’t make the playdowns, the league will probably make up some rule so that they are lottery-eligible, and we all know what happens then: THE FROZEN ENVELOPE.
Sadly, Ice Steelers aren’t looking all that interested in the second
Hopefully that sentiment continues in the playoffs, and then for the next decade.
Ice Argos losing today and tomorrow in regulation, with Ice Bucs winning tomorrow is the stuff of wet dreams
I went to HMart today and got some of those delicious Korean walnut cake things that also look like walnuts. Tomorrow I will have fried noodles.
Sounds good Dok.
Now, onto more pressing matters….
Why won’t you play poker with us idiots?
/realizes he just answered his own inquiry
Fake money poker is eh for me. I might be up for it after another glass of wine if I remembered any of the details. But y’all broke that Slack channel, fucked up my app 😛
Haha. I’m just gonna go ahead and presume that whatever broke the channel for you, was my fault. Everyone else seems to think so, so why not?
It was the sheer volume of posts in that channel. So not just you 🙂
Cause y’all needed to cheat at fake poker, which just, goddamn, I can’t express my LOLing enough. As a really loud guy on the bus today said on the phone, YOU ARE A HUMAN BEING, YOU ARE MORE THAN JUST BLOOD AND MEAT YOU ARE ELECTRICITY, YOU AREN’T AN ALLIGATOR OR A GODDAMN TREE AND I WANTED TO SMASH YOU IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH A BRICK BUT I DIDN’T CAUSE YOU FAMILY.
I’m paraphrasing a bit. He started yelling at this old lady who was complaining about him being so loud, but I was totally cool with hearing his crazy ass conversations.
BTW, the guy he was saying this to was the third person he had called and was, in his words, A St. Louis, Missouri n*****
Ummmmmm…..
And also, WCS and I only cheat in tournaments against people we don’t like….errrrr, I mean we do not cheat and I deny that accusation, Sir!!!!!!
(but yeah, I get the over abundance there…we’ll fix that…come back to the channel, hon)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERm_WNxGs1U
Eh, I’ll give it a go. Though if y’all up for some real cards next time we Vegas or AC or Biloxi or wherever…..
I’m down. I think staring you down would be interesting. Not to mention all you’d ever have to do to tilt me would be whisper…
pssst….ass herpes
😉
Hey baby, pssst, psssy, nice….ASS HERPES!! HAHAHAHAHA!
Did you just call me a pussy?
I like making good card playas mad at moneyed tables. I usually leave up like $20 or $30 and feel super proud of myself.
Rex Ryan was on a D.C. bus this morning?
How you guys going? I am day drunk. Went to my buddys daughters 3rd bday. Hammered back too much wine so I decided to continue when I got home.
I commend your talents of toddler b-day party sneak drinkin’!!
I think we scared everyone away.
DTZM!!!! We broke the blog again!!!!!!
As always, thanks for the shout out TWBS.
Yeah, I really have no idea what in god’s name possessed me to indulge in such absurd word association, but we had fun.
Here’s as complete a transcript of what went down as I can find, without any of the poker announcements
WCSchneider: my God… Jackie Brown is 20 years old
tWBS/Wufpckr: Cuckfellas
Brocky70: the bride of cuckinstein
Mr. Ayo16: The cuckeeling limited
tWBS/Wufpckr: Blazing Cucks
Don T 3000: IM COMING FOR YA MR. CUCK
WCSchneider: The Cuck (The Mummy)
Mr. Ayo16: Escape From New Cuck
Mr. Ayo16: Nightmare on Cuck Street
Brocky70: They call me Mr. CUCKS!
Mr. Ayo16: What about Cuck?
Brocky70: …….did that one too…..
Mr. Ayo16: The Life Cuck
tWBS/Wufpckr: Forrest Cuck
Brocky70: i guess it really doesn’t ****ing matter, lol
WCSchneider: National Lampoon’s Cuckmas Vaction
Mr. Ayo16: The Cuck [Crow]
Mr. Ayo16: The Blair Cuck Project
Mr. Ayo16: Trailer Park Cucks
Brocky70: One Flew over the cuckoo’s nest
Don T 3000: oh my words are tasty
tWBS/Wufpckr: Cucking Arizona
Mr. Ayo16: Cucknado
WCSchneider: that’s excellent, Brocky
WCSchneider: The Legend of Zelda: Cuckornia of Time
Brocky70: cuck of duty: modern warfare
Mr. Ayo16: Ghost in the Cuck
WCSchneider: you dickbags are going to make me laugh loudenough to wake the baby
tWBS/Wufpckr: Mission Uncuckable
Mr. Ayo16: WCuckSchneider
tWBS/Wufpckr: lol
Brocky70: William Chuck Shneider
WCSchneider: Creedence Cuckwater Revival
Mr. Ayo16: Richard Cuck ****hole
tWBS/Wufpckr: Green Cuck
Brocky70: the cuck from 20,000 fathoms
tWBS/Wufpckr: Romeo and Cuck
WCSchneider: Bride of Cuckenstein
tWBS/Wufpckr: A Tale of Two Cucks
WCSchneider: HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA
Mr. Ayo16: lol
Mr. Ayo16: Two Cucks, One Cup
Brocky70: lot of potential with that one
WCSchneider: twas the cucks of times, twas the worst of cucks
Brocky70: Oliver Cuck, the novel is completely the same
Mr. Ayo16: White Men Can’t Cuck
tWBS/Wufpckr: Cucker in the Rye
Brocky70: the cuck connection
WCSchneider: Someone Might Get Cucked, by Drew Magary
tWBS/Wufpckr: Inglorious Cucks
Mr. Ayo16: Recuck = repost = already cucked
Don T 3000: The Raging Cuck
Brocky70: ah, i was thinking total recall or some ****
WCSchneider: Smoke Cuck Everyday
Brocky70: Cucked Up
Mr. Ayo16: You should have said that, because that’s way better
Mr. Ayo16: Total Recuck
Brocky70: Starsky and Cuck
Don T 3000: White Cucks
Brocky70: They shoots cucks, Don’t they?
Brocky70: not going to lie, I am REALLY proud of that shootingone
Mr. Ayo16: Cool Cuckings
Brocky70: Uncle Cuck
Don T 3000: Koyaaniscucksi
WCSchneider: — George Zimmerman
Mr. Ayo16: The Jungle Cuck
Brocky70: The Cuck Whisperer
Don T 3000: The Cuckbook
WCSchneider: oh, that’s good, Brocky
Mr. Ayo16: The Cuck Zone
Don T 3000: ha!
tWBS/Wufpckr: lololol
Mr. Ayo16: High five Don!
Brocky70: that was great
Mr. Ayo16: Arrested Cuck
Mr. Ayo16: Last Cuck Standing
Mr. Ayo16: Cuck Libre
WCSchneider: Cucking Heads
Don T 3000: Let It Ride [Cuck]
Brocky70: Cuck! Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefitof Glorious Nation of Cuckazakhstan
Don T 3000: /lost it
Mr. Ayo16: Primal Cuck
Brocky70: The Cuckstones meet the Cucksons
Don T 3000: it puts the lotion in the cuck
Brocky70: or else it gets the cuck again!
Mr. Ayo16: Running with Cucks
Brocky70: Dragon Ball cuck
WCSchneider: Cuck (Precious) A Novel By Steve Bannon
Mr. Ayo16: Cuck City
Don T 3000: New Jack Cuck
Mr. Ayo16: Taxi Cucker
Brocky70: Cuck Fear
Brocky70: the cuck identity
Mr. Ayo16: C for Cuck
WCSchneider: Cuck (Clue)
Don T 3000: The Devil in Miss Cuck
Mr. Ayo16: The Cuckman
Brocky70: cuckman and robin
Don T 3000: The Postman Alaways Cucks Twice
Brocky70: brb
WCSchneider: The Cuck Wears Prada
Don T 3000: classy cucl
Mr. Ayo16: ****, I did not just google pedo movies
WCSchneider: uh.. or, you did
Mr. Ayo16: I mean cuck movies
WCSchneider: I’ve Been Waiting For a Cuck Like You, byForeinger
tWBS/Wufpckr: Don’t Stop Cucking by Journey
Mr. Ayo16: Extremely Cuck and Incredibly Close
Mr. Ayo16: Free Cuck
Mr. Ayo16: A Few Good Cucks
Mr. Ayo16: Never Been Cucked
Don T 3000: The Believers [of Cuck]
WCSchneider: The Cuckover
Mr. Ayo16: Cuck [Speed]
WCSchneider: The Cuck That Couldn’t Slow Down!
Mr. Ayo16: The Cuck, the Bad, and the Ugly
Brocky70: Friday night Cucks
Mr. Ayo16: The Cuck With the Iron Fists
Brocky70: and the television show:
Brocky70: Cuck Night Lights
Don T 3000: Sweet Sweetback
Don T 3000: s Badass Cuck
Mr. Ayo16: Les Cuckerables
Brocky70: ha ayo
WCSchneider: !!!!!!!!!
tWBS/Wufpckr: I’m gonna have to take a break for few afternext hand
Brocky70: 21 cucks
Mr. Ayo16: I need a cuck
Don T 3000: Cuckolat
Brocky70: 8 cucks in a duffle bag
WCSchneider: My Cuckorona by The Knack
tWBS/Wufpckr: things to cuck in denver when you’re dead
Brocky70: haha
tWBS/Wufpckr: The Cuck After Tomorrow
Brocky70: Cuck Where we Belong
tWBS/Wufpckr: Cuck Impact
Brocky70: the final cuckdown
tWBS/Wufpckr: The Manchurian Cuck
WCSchneider: Cuckdance
Brocky70: Cucky [Rocky]
Mr. Ayo16: Cuck [James Cuck]
Brocky70: Star Cuck II: The Wrath of Cuck
tWBS/Wufpckr: The Cuck who loved me
Brocky70: Cuckto*****
Mr. Ayo16: Cuck****
tWBS/Wufpckr: i was gonna go for octocucky
Mr. Ayo16: *Cuckcago
Brocky70: all good
Brocky70: Cuck Wee’s Big adventure
Don T 3000: Have Gun Will Cuck
Mr. Ayo16: Cuck [Alien]
Brocky70: Cucks [Aliens]
Don T 3000: The mighty Cucks
tWBS/Wufpckr: hahaha
Brocky70: the cuck with the golden gun?
Brocky70: I’ve got a cuck [Jim Croce]
Mr. Ayo16: Dr. Strangecuck
Brocky70: Dr. Strangecuck or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love watching 3 other dudes **** my wife
WCS declared the last one the best, but I’m a humble man
And one exchange I can only remember vaguely:
Brocky70: Kindergarten cuck
tWBS/Wufpckr: ewwwwww
Brocky70: what? A six year old has to watch his crush kiss other boys
WCSchneider: guess you gotta learn disappointment sometime
Oh fuck…I’m lmfao’ing again now.
My stomach really hurts.
Suck it, Yankees!!! 4-0 baby!!!!
