Lesser Footy – Are We Just Here Not to Get Fined?

King Hippo

King Hippo

Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan.Also a proud fookin’ Evertonian.Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child.[Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
King Hippo

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With Leicester’s loss in the UCL quarterfinals (boy howdy, them was some shitty return legs), there is precious little left on the table to play for.  Everton are in Europa, though they could maybe pass Arsenal for 6th and skip some preliminary rounds (unless Arsenal win the FA Cup, making 6th moot).  Liverpool, United, and City are in a 3-way (ewwwww) for the last 2 UCL slots.  Theoretically, Spurs could catch Chelsea if they really fuck up…but it’s maybe a 2% odds play.

Really, you might start seeing lots of sides phone it in, other than Hull and Swansea, the last two sides fighting to avoid the last collar of relegation shame.  Hopefully, Everton keep playing to win Romelu Lukaku the Golden Boot (he’s 4 ahead of prissy pants Harry Kane) to prove he can win things on Merseyside.

Oh, the picture?  That’s Everton reserve forward/striker Dominic Calvert-Lewin (alternately nicknamed “DCL” and “Dominic the Striker” – I prefer the latter, but my fellow Blues hate my Americanisms, even though I didn’t come up with this one ,, smgdh) and his bird.  Holy cats, one doesn’t have to be a superstar to pull some pretty incredible stuff if you are in the Premiership.  I suppose he could also have a gigantic John Thomas.

Speaking of that…a guy at my office actually fucking named his son “John Thomas” (last name redacted).  Did this assdick NEVAR see any Monty Python?  Not know any British people?  Have any friends or family members willing to intercede to keep his poor spawn from having the shit kicked out of him on the regular?  Anyway, I reckon he’ll be getting murdered in his sleep about 15-20 years from now.  That will be justified homicide in my book.

OK, abbreviated match schedule.  Since there must be other cup shit going on somewhere or another.  Everton ain’t playing, so Hippo ain’t care.

All Saturday games are in the 10:00 window, headlined by Everton’s trip to West Ham (NBCSN).  This is always a fun match, as the Toffees fucking hate the bubble blowing cunts.  We fucking randomly hate almost everyone, but this is more randomly seething than any save Newcastle (oh, how we hate that those thundercunts are coming back up next season).  Swans host Stoke (CNBC), with a reasonable chance to get 3 points and put the pressure back on Hull, who take on 10th position Watford (Extra Time).  Perhaps the Moose/Hornets will take pride in a top half finish, and put up a fight.  You could also watch Bournemouth/Boro on Extra Time, but you won’t.

Sunday brings an NBCSN double-dip, with red-hot United visiting not-so-much Burnley (9:15), followed by the Redshite hosting dire Crystal Palace (11:30).  Palace are in 15th, but realistically safe on 35 points.  One could envision them bothering an easily distracted Liverpool side, even at home.

Oh, and dem wacky Spaniards have some sort of Clasico nonsense or sommet going on this weekend.  Hopefully, Balls will show up tell us why it’s importante (and whether the refs will blatantly cheat for Real like they did midweek against Bayern).

King Hippo
King Hippo

Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin’ Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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WCS
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Street Louis moves on.

Both top seeds in the West are toast in the first round.

Bloody Lethal
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Bloody Lethal

New music that I like:

Bloody Lethal
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Bloody Lethal

Hi chaps. I am back from vacation in the beautiful St. Simons, Georgia in which there are many beautiful things like beaches, golf, and bbq.

I played at a very nice course with my soon-to-be brother-in-law and as a joke on the driving range I told the caddie there was an extra $20 if he helped me cheat to beat my soon-to-be brother-in-law who knew I was kidding. Turns out I caught the sucker actually chucking my ball on the 11th hole. I was quite put off and told him not to ever do that ever. The rest of the round I couldn’t tell if my ball was where I hit it or if it was tampered with. Then being ashamed of what had taken place I gave him the extra $20 as I blamed myself for trying to make a joke to a Georgia caddie who had probably used his fair share of foot wedges. The $20 was no more mine than his. It was a learning experience. Anyway, it was a great time. Hope all is well.

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ballsofsteelandfury
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Georgia golf course, huh? Hired caddies, eh? Um… how do I put this… was the caddy… you know…?

http://x3.cdn03.imgwykop.pl/c3201142/comment_gN7hdJdfO2wLG8FwLxaF4a2Z4fy6dhmq.jpg

theeWeeBabySeamus
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Male?

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Human.

Bloody Lethal
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Bloody Lethal

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ballsofsteelandfury
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That looks like a Bat Beer Bong.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Multiuse tools are what makes it on to the Bat Belt (TM).

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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One of the problems with modern exploration (specifically, space) is the insistence that it has to be absolutely, postitively certain that explorers will be able to make it back home safely. If humans had always had that attitude towards exploration we’d have never made it out of Africa.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

But explorers need to be reasonably smart people…… maybe they could just take some stupid with them as ballast and leave them somewhere…..OK, not logical, but I just want some key stupids shot into space but sending them to a failed state in Africa might do the job.

.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/ba9315bbee1dbc6aa799d4059626e686/tumblr_olbleebkA21qzhjh2o1_1280.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ballsofsteelandfury
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I honestly can’t wait until the first mutiny.

We really aren’t as advanced as we think we are.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not even close; the technology is very advanced. We are still the tribalistic hunter gatherers, ignorant of our own instincts, but governed by them.

ballsofsteelandfury
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That’s what I meant. The technology is advanced. Our nature is not.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes, I was agreeing with you; emphasizing your point even…….

http://68.media.tumblr.com/6674cee11947cfa26d00c1e47df2f76a/tumblr_onnm0cHU2i1w5f18xo1_540.jpg

ballsofsteelandfury
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Can we have a March for Buns?

yeah right
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I’ve been reading a great book about the start of the space program and the German engineers who we stole from the Nazis in WWII were completely against the Apollo program and insisted the money should be used on setting up an international space station instead of a manned launch.
NASA insisted that the public wouldn’t buy in if we were just sending machines into space and not men.
Turns out both sides were right. The moon missions were sunk costs and all we got were some rocks but if we had started with a space station instead we could already have a colony on Mars.
The public would NOT have accepted the space program without humans because we needed to show those dirty Ruskies that we were superior in space.
Great book.
I’m a life long space cadet which accounts for my occupation.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
LemonJello
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LemonJello

Title of this book, please?

/asking for a friend that can read

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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To be fair, you’re not gonna see someone who DID have polio marching today…

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“You already voted for this comment”

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Only one vote allowed? What fresh Hell is this?

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

The February bar exam results came out yesterday, and I’m still angry that a classmate passed because I consider them everything I hate about lawyers.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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The most important way to deal with people like that is to forget that they exist.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

I’m trying

theeWeeBabySeamus
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Learn from my mistakes people. Never take your elderly parent(s) to Sam’s Club sober.
Holee Molee. I wanted to go to the cleaning products aisle and drink every bottle of bleach in the joint.

theeWeeBabySeamus
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To be clear, I wanted me to be baked, not her.
Though it might have helped if she was too I suppose.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus
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Afternoon, dicknuts. How we doing?
Also…when in Rome I guess….
http://gif-finder.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/Soccer-Fail.gif

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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I feel a little bit bad about not going to the Science March today but then I remember that many of the people there are probably big fans of The Big Bang Theory so I don’t feel so bad anymore.

Don T
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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Yeah, you make a solid point.

blaxabbath
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Not committing until I know their stance on abortion.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, I do wish the Cleveland Browns would get competent enough to beat the Steelers and Bengals.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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Oh my god you need to watch this! Juggling otters.

https://youtu.be/U7bvq0VEnYA

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

I needed that.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem
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I was about to throw two people off this balcony. Now, I can’t. You legitimately may have saved lives here.

yeah right
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Don T
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Of course. The Finnish Twerk Gambit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Wrong side, but excellent idea.

Don T
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Hey, they do everything different up there.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Don T
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Science March: come for the high minded purpose, stay for the low level shade
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That beats Common on poetry night.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola
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2 to 2 hell of a game here.

litre_cola
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Hey now, this just got really interesting. Harry Kane keeps proving himself.

Don T
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Chelesea 1 – 0 Spurs, w/o Costa and Hazard. This could get intense.

litre_cola
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Yeah. Chelsea will throw everything behind the ball now and attempt to counter I reckon.

Fronkenshteen
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Lanzini is probably West Ham’s best player. Very clever, and VERY talented.

litre_cola
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I am seriously freaking out about Fulham getting these 3 pts. Baby? Oh yeah 4 days late now.

Don T
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That Real – Bayern game was great! The first hour was high quality ⚽️. And even after the… unpleasantness, Bayern had a chance.
This is me right after the Sergio Ramos own goal
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litre_cola
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Who is up 4-1 at the half away to 3rd place Huddersfield? We are going to make the playoffs I can feel it. Then I can go back to my usual.depression on weekends when Fulham gets murdered.

Fronkenshteen
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Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood can go get fucked.

blaxabbath
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The Prestige is on Netflix.

Seems better than housework this morning.

Horatio Cornblower
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Tom Davis looks like an elf.

A mean elf.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen
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That’s MISTER bubble-blowing cunt to you. Go Hammers!

ballsofsteelandfury
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The Clásico is in Barcelona, so the chances of ref interference like in the Bayern game are greatly reduced. The good thing about having irrational fans is that they know where the refs’ hotel is…

ballsofsteelandfury
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Wait. Never mind. The game is in Madrid.

http://cdn1.sbnation.com/assets/3956857/we_re_boned.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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