Your “Up North It Means ‘Hockey Night In Canada'” Saturday Evening Open Thread

It’s the weekend, so I assume President 9-iron is down in Florida waiting to see if North Korea and its allies decide to make “Red Dawn” a documentary.

Just so we’re clear, the 1984 version

is much, much better than the 2012 version.

I don’t really believe this is up for debate. Also, what the fuck is Thor doing in a movie about Chinese relabelled as Koreans invading Seattle? “Your Super Bowl contending Cincinnati Bengals” is a more believable plot.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Habs at Rangers – 8:00PM | NBC / CBC
    • Oilers at Sharks – 10:30PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Spurs at Grizzlies – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN
    • Warriors at Trail Blazers – 10:30PM | ESPN / TSN
  • MLB:
    • Cardinals at Brewers – 7:00PM | FS1
  • Futbol:
    • Monterrey vs. Tigres – 8:00PM | Univision
  • UFC Fight Night:
    • Swanson vs. Lobov – 10:00PM | FS1 / TSN4
  • Australian Rules Football:
    • Hawthorn vs. West Coast Eagles – 5:30AM | TSN2
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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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WCS

The Original Crazy Cat Lady?

Wakezilla

That’s a crazy cat lady that’d be worth the crazy

Shogun Marcus

Also while I’m at it. A friendly reminder to society as the weather continues to improve that if your pockets hang below the cut of your shorts, you’ve done bad and should feel bad. Go fix it. If you’re a parent and you’ve allowed this to leave your house I need to come find you so we can…talk.

JustStopDude

Hehehehehe….shit white people worry about….

Gratliff

Will never not laugh at this meme.
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Gratliff

Also, from the surprisingly extensive catalog of awkward Ahmed Johnson photoshoots.
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King Hippo

but DAT MILKSHAKE brings teh boyz to teh yard ,, ppl forget that

JustStopDude
Shogun Marcus

There’s a lot of future CPS clients in that video…current too prolly. Lots of mine thought videos were real life.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

But it’s OK for her.
– Jerry Was A Shogun Named Marcus

Shogun Marcus

Also yes.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

So just cut the pockets off is what you are saying?

Shogun Marcus

Yes.

Shogun Marcus

Listen here “Canada” Dry. What you make is nawt ginger ale. Stop that.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Here’s one you fertile perverts can relate to…
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JustStopDude

Fertility…

All you dudes that fantasize about not worrying about getting a woman pregnant…let me tell you…as someone that was born sterile…as you get older it, if fucking sucks.

Pretty much now every single one of my relationships end with “JSD…you are a great guy. I care about you a lot. But I want to have a kid”.

Believe me…I have PLENTY of experience fucking up relationships due to fuck ups entirely on my own…but as I have gotten older, it always seems to come down to this…and its fucking frustrating as hell.

JustStopDude

I know this community doesn’t really watch baseball…but these Orioles are fucking on all cylinders right now and its a fucking blast to watch.

theeWeeBabySeamus

THANK YOU!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Glad somebody around here has some good taste.

JustStopDude

I’m shotgunning miller high life inbetween bottles of wine my real estate agent left in my gift basket for buying a house….

I have no fucking taste…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Aux Contraire……THAT’S GOOD HUSTLE!!!!!

Shogun Marcus

Efficiency, you has it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Meh. Honestly I just don’t want this one to go OT.
I wanna play poker after this one.

King Hippo

Canadia disappoints again and again

theeWeeBabySeamus

We’re soory, eh?

Shogun Marcus

It’s like they dun wanna country anymoar. Good thing there’s no megalomaniac nearby.

Bloody Lethal

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LemonJello

“I once caught a fish this big.”

Gratliff
theeWeeBabySeamus

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Gratliff

I’d think that would be frowned upon

theeWeeBabySeamus

My first thought as well.

Principal: New science teacher tomorrow, kids!!!!!

WCS

After the Mortal Kombat tournament ended, Scorpion became a chemistry teacher.

Bloody Lethal

Man the Rangers didn’t look tired at all there.

Wakezilla

Any Ice Bills fans here? What the hell happened over there the past few days?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

These are the guys I really hate. Someone burn the studio down and block the exits.

Wakezilla

Can we replace her with Pacc? I think she has a better chance at scoring than Pacc the way this playoffs has gone.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Somewhere, Brocky’s head just went all kersplodey.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I take it all back, go Habs

Unsurprised

Timbers win! Timbers win!

(No one cares)

Wakezilla

I care the Whitecaps lost.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am actively rooting against every Canadian team because everyone at NHL network roots for them hard mostly without merit, I have to be honest it is hard to root for the Rangers though. I have hated them since they beat Bure. I liked the Canucks back then

Wakezilla

Something not pro American!?! The nerve! Now imagine how non-Americans feel. . .with everything else. lol

Gratliff

Honored and privileged, as they should be!

LemonJello

#Make Hockey Great Again

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

No, fuck America, we are terrible right now as a country. I admit that. They are rooting for the Canadian teams even though they barely made it in as 5th or worse seeds and acting like it is an upset if they lose.

Wakezilla

I hate everything Toronto with a fiery passion. I’ve been in the US and have heard some of the stuff said about the Raptors or the Blue Jays. It’s so bad, I actually considered cheering for those teams when they were in the playoffs, until I remembered Toronto is the worst.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

The Blue Jays are fine. I actually saw a playoff game up there the year they won the WS

WCS

Joe Flacco’s untimely demise?

LemonJello

Probably wakes him up in a tepid sweat.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Pb > Ca
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Wakezilla

Why are these kids re-enacting Bobby Orr’s goal? Shouldn’t they be mimicking Crosby or something?

Gratliff

Punching down players in the dick isn’t a great tribute

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Punching a guys face into the boards when he hasn’t had control of the puck in a while now legal for NY

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I love the bad acting after holding the stick for 4 seconds

Wakezilla
King Hippo

oui!!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Stupid French Canadians

Wakezilla

Moar like stupid sexy canadiennes!

King Hippo

HABS WOO!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

We cant haz smoothies?

King Hippo

non

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fight strap didn’t do much good there, eh?
😀

Brick Meathook
King Hippo

oh snap, that was fun

Wakezilla

Hard to believe the next game, they took that and fighting out because the NHL thought it was too violent

litre_cola

So, umm are you guys, like, um taking over our east coast? Good people out there. No jobs though.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I hate NBC/NBC Sports app, because I can’t watch the game on NBC sports because of blackout reasons, can’t watch on the NBC app because it doesn’t allow viewing, and I can’t watch on my cables app that does every channel on my Firestick because something about them being little bitches, I swear that is the only reasoning they give for not allowing a program on a platform it works on on other devices with the exact same OS. This is on you fuckers, stealing it.

Gratliff

NBC Sports’ website stream is subject to blackout? Love how pro sports leagues go out of the way to make it hard to watch.

Unsurprised

Because FUCK YOU! — billionaire shit weasels.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Why do they get to go first with their anthem??????
Trump…do something about this!!!!

Gratliff

Trump: *Annexes Nova Scotia*
NOW WE HAVE FIVE TIME ZONES #MAGA

LemonJello

You forgot the Tomahawk strike on Newfoundland. That comes first.

Gratliff

Jeff Sessions doesn’t take kindly to sodomy

LemonJello

“Tomahawk strike” seems to mean different things than I was aware of.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

#TrumpsAmerica

Wakezilla

That’s why he’s attacking Canada over our protective dairy!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

One more Playstation one. Just posting the whole soundtrack

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVOSnCrR4IA&list=PLqQIR8jJmelzyAdRNVgweJMeiX30_K6IW

Wakezilla

OK, last bit of videogame theme song nostalgia for a while. I’d love for both of these franchises to come back as they were a lot of fun to play.

Mutant League Football (theme song is so fucking awesome, the NFL should use it for their Thursday Night football games. I’d tune in just to hear it):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrb0bc3C0kY

Mutant League Hockey. Scoring on the possessed demon net has to rank on anyone’s top 5 moments in their life because it was so ridiculously hard to score:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvKYKA8qSNQ

JustStopDude

Been cleaning, drinking, and trying to unpack still from the move.

See on HBO this Suicide Squad is on the TV.

Holy shit is this movie just fucking awful. Not like so bad its good…like just fucking a slew of terrible ideas, piss poorly done, and not followed through.

Wakezilla

Egh, it was OK until the end. The ending however, was garbage.

Shogun Marcus

It was too many plots, not enough thoughts. The whole enchantress line was horrible and Leto’s joker was completely unnecessary.

JustStopDude

Fucking this…

Though I will say this, I have actually read the Suicide Squad comic, and much like Civil War…it was not nearly a good of a series as people claim it is.

This movie, must like the movie “World War Z” would be a fantastic cable show on HBO or some shit. But for a movie, its fucking terrible.

Wakezilla

Civil War comics is more over-rated than Tim Tebow during TebowMania.

JustStopDude

Fucking Civil War…the original line, was such a fucking cock tease bullshit like.

They could have brought up and explored all the money Stark Industries was making locking people up. Gone deep into a discussion of the industrial prison complex, like grey out Tony a lot as a hero…question his fucking motives.

Instead its barely mentions and never explored again.

Also the fucking set up for the entire story line is so fucking moronic…

Gratliff

I feel like this is true of most of the more famous comic series. I was introduced to most of it through the cartoons rather than the comics. (Remember when Stan Lee was running like 8 simultaneous series on like 3 channels in the 90’s?) I’ve never read the X-Men’s Phoenix Saga, but I bet it doesn’t hold up compared to the cartoon version. Bet it holds up to the movie version though. Oof.

http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/39300000/Famke-Janssen-as-Jean-Grey-in-X-men-The-Last-Stand-jean-grey-39335856-500-215.gif

Shogun Marcus

I still hold belief marvel is tanking the X-Men and mutant books in general until they get the movie rights back in-house. Starving it. The movies didn’t and don’t need much help sucking and blowing simultaneously. Then deadpool (happily) came along and fucked that all up. Good.

Wakezilla

You aren’t wrong.

laserguru

One of my employees and a very dear friend of mine officially retired yesterday.
I’ve worked with him for over 16 years and it’s going to be strange when he’s not there on Monday.
I took him and the rest of the crew out to lunch today and it was surreal.

I’ve been in my industry for 30 years. I’ve fired dozens of folks, watched many others move or take another job but this is the first time I had to process a retirement.

Hell, I’ve had several fucking DIE before they reached retirement.

I’m gonna miss my friend but boy am I jealous.

God speed Dave!

Wakezilla

It really does seem like more people die before retirement than actually retire, doesn’t it? Sorry for your buddy retiring. That lucky bastard.

JustStopDude

On Friday, I got the keys dropped off from my predecessor.

Dude was the previous trainer, only he only did the very basic electrical safety stuff. He should have retired years ago, but his wife had dementia and so he had to keep working to pay for her long term care.

Like 5 months ago, he somehow texted a coworker he had a bad headache. One of our interns was sent to check on him, found him laying out in his living room with a massive stroke.

Per the company, he has been working full time this entire time (Japan way of taking care of employees). I guess his son finally decided to take dad off life support so they put in his retirement paperwork.. I get his keys and told to move into his office.

Fucking depressing.

LemonJello

That’s a hard one. But good on the company for taking care of him/the family like that.

JustStopDude

The Japanese man…they do shit like that. On a bad, it can go really too far…as seen by Toshiba mis-reporting profit by a billion dollars a year for over a fucking decade.

Its very rude to correct your CEO…even if the is committing financial crimes.

laserguru

It seems to happen all of the time.

One of my old techs, not my employee because he was technical instead of operations, retired. Greatest fucking guy. Would stand on the production floor in case there was an issue rather than having to track him down like the rest of our techs. All he wanted to do was work in his garden and go fishing.

3 weeks after retirement, massive heart attack and gone before the ambulance got there.

Fuck this I’m buying a lottery ticket tonight.

Wakezilla

A great song for the greatest lesser footy (possibly any sport) video game ever.

OK, this one is cheating a little.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gaiollV9jz0

litre_cola

No. It was a race to get the game started to get rid of that music.

Wakezilla

What? You’re insane! I blame Ralph Klein for your poor musical selection

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

If we are expanding it to game music on the Playstation….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sh6V1zMmbuU

Yes. I know I cheated and went orchestral

Gratliff

This one might not be nostalgic or familiar to most of you, but by god, it belongs up there with the firest of boss themes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcoqR9Bwx1Y

King Hippo

so…anybody FOAR the Leafs, eh? but me and WCS??

King Hippo

oh shit that’s tomorry, anybody FOAR the Habs but me and Wakezilla??

Bloody Lethal

I hope someone rocks Gallagher’s block right off tonight.

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Gratliff

Jack Gallagher?
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King Hippo

the watermelon dude??

theeWeeBabySeamus

I thought you were the watermelon dude….
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theeWeeBabySeamus

I don’t have any prefs for tonight’s games. Just wanna see good hockey.
And get drunk. LOL.
Or some reasonable facsimile thereof.

Wakezilla

I love the Habs, but, if they lose and it results in Froggy Bergevin getting fired, I’d be OK with that.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m not gonna downvote your bullshit comment there.
But I want to.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sorry, I’m mad because I still haven’t gotten used to this thing about ch 5 and 17 switching. Jerks.

King Hippo

oh I NEVAR will

Brick Meathook

SCIENCE!!!
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Gratliff

Time to expand the nostalgic video game music scope
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRbUbNR4AVM

King Hippo

Hockey and Lesser Footy MADE the Sega Genesis…

Wakezilla

We all ready for hockey tonight?

(This is still one of my all time favorite video game theme songs and it’s one of EA’s first)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LC1ZeaZeKNY

Gratliff

The road to best hockey game music goes straight through Blades of Steel, sir.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tww93DVSX8U

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I’m sorry Wakezilla. Gratliff just wins on this one.

King Hippo

I had both of these games, can’t recall which I have MOAR nostalgia for, really.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

If we are going nostalgia for the game. This one would slightly edge out Blades of Steel, but barely. Let’s call it a tie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VovXGW8pSR4

Wakezilla

Genesis version of NHL 94 was better. Especially the theme song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0o4Z3lahGI

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I somehow owned both, honestly I played in on genesis more. I forgot there were 2 theme songs.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I worked a paper route and used a dog + roller blade vehicle to go to the used game store all the time so I could find the best deals

Gratliff

Only Blades of Steel had intermission Gradius.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcib2-RCdnE

King Hippo

Now I wanna play Castlevania

Wakezilla

It’s not my personal favorite, but, it’s a beauty.

Same game also had wonderful playoffs music. They should bring it back.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x94YxLGUkRQ

LemonJello

Huh?
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Oh, that’s Blades of Glory. Sorry.

Wakezilla

How we doing, ladies and gents.

Rob, it took me over 2 hours today to get from White Rock to Central City. Damn parade, combined with a fatal car accident and construction did me in. I hate everyone.

King Hippo

well, everyone minus that one dead fucker ,, amirite??

King Hippo

Eric Thames’ theme song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOnQ-xqpKpU

King Hippo

itttttttttt’s Jorts Time!!!!

LemonJello

That will not buff out.

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