I know I’ve claimed in the past to be mailing it in. But people…listen to me. Hear me…..
This week, I’m truly mailing it in.
You’ll get your Sexay…don’t get me wrong. But I’m not invested. My mind is quite literally thousands of miles away. And maybe that’s not a bad thing.
I mean who really wants to read the absurd crap that falls out of my brain from week to week, anyway? Hell, even I don’t.
But worry not….that post title above won’t hurt you.
“Bi-Curious”
The first and last parts of this TGISF are being written on the east coast. On somewhat of a compressed schedule due to someone (me) procrastinating for far too long this week and last weekend. Then, the finishing touches will be done on the west coast. Hopefully after chemical intervention and a nice relaxing soak in the hotel Jacuzzi, preferably with naked chicks. But I’ll settle for just the solo relaxing soak via chemical intervention….
Bi-COASTAL.
Yes…Bi-Coastal…that is what this week’s TGISF will be, more or less. And I’m CURIOUS how bad this will turn out to be, given that I’m hurried on one coast (east) and will likely be tired on the other (west).
Bi. Curious.
Yes, it is indeed quite a reach just to get to a shitty title. I agree. But still, get your minds out of the gutter.
Here….have some music….
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Open Call
I was having so much trouble deciding on a theme this week that I placed an open request at the poker table for theme idea submissions. Yes, I knew better. But I thought it would be funny. It…Was…Not. Those guys are sickos.
Anyway, note to self: Don’t solicit theme ideas at the poker table EVAR again.
(and also, yes….I still have no idea what this week’s theme will be yet…shut up)
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Left Coast Sports
Originally I had headed this section as “Bi-Curious Sports”, but that header was a misnomer because I didn’t write any of the sports on the east coast. I suppose I haven’t written any on the west coast yet either, actually. Maybe I should go ahead and do that…
NHL
Frankly, after watching the Caps roll over for Yinzburgh yet one more goddamned time this year, I’m not sure I want to be writing anything re: sports this week anyway. Sadly there’s at least one more game to go before this shitshow of a series will mercifully end. And the next time Sidney Crosby intentionally head butts Matt Niskanen’s stick, he should face fines and a hefty suspension…
SEE??? Look how dirty of a play that was. He could have very easily broken Matt’s stick there. There is no place for that sort of play in today’s game. #hockeysticklivesmatter
(yes I’m joking and yes I sincerely hope he can skate Saturday night vs Caps…srsly. More importantly, I hope his brain is OK and that he can stop banging it around all the time bcuz that’s bad for it…again srsly)
Last night, there were smoothies to be had as the Rangers pounded on Ottawa for a little while to knot that series up at 2 games apiece.
Tonight:
- Preds @ Blues – 8:00pmEDT NBCSN (NSH leads 3-1)
- Oilers @ Ducks – 10:30pmEDT NBCSN (tied 2-2)
MLB
Standings and tonight’s schedule is all you get. Because I’m tired and there’s plenty more boring summer days yet ahead of us for me to talk about baseball and cause a massive narcolepsy outbreak among DFO’ers.
NBA
Meh. Here you go if you care. No real surprises thus far other than Utah over the Clippers in the first round, and even that was only a mild upset. Contrary to what I hear most people say, I actually find the NBA more boring come playoff time. Which is impressive considering how boring I already find it during the regular season.
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Free Hat
OK then…I guess it’s gonna be a “pick one out of the hat” week then. Like no shit…Imma pick a theme/name out of the hat (it’s my Ravens SB XLVII hat btw…ah, good times). But no shit, I planned for this…..so here we go…..
Big Money, Big Money……NO WHAMMIES!!!!!! STOP!!!!
(well shit)
–
I mean….yay.
Actually she is one of my favorites, or else she wouldn’t have been in teh hat to begin with. But I guess I was hoping for a themed theme. But this is good.
Ladies and Gentleman….Mr. Conway Twitty….
Oh shit…I mean….
The lovely and talented, Ms. Amber Heard, Everybody!!!!!.
HEY WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ll6CNFVFTC8
(google…google…google)
Ha!!! I knew it, I knew I remembered that correctly. Also, I love when the hat and fate convene.
It seems this week’s princess has also been a little curious….from time to time.
(not a judgement)
Then she ended up with Johnny Depp….
(totally AM judging her for that, however)
((also, isn’t being with Johnny Depp kinda like still being a lesbian anyway?))
Anywhoooo…no worries Amber. We still love ya. And you’re still pretty danged cute.
Enjoy….
And last, but by no means least……
Hummina hummina….
–
A tWBS Springtime Floral Photo
I like flowers, we’ve already established this. Zip it.
I dabble in black and white occasionally, mostly just for fun and learning. But usually they don’t turn out particularly impressively. This one I liked tho…
–
Obligatory Alexa Is Obligatory
OK Alexa, we don’t have a reservation so we need to get there early. Otherwise, I know you… When they tell us there are no rooms left you’ll climb up on something and jump on the poor desk clerk. And then that will be one more hotel we can never stay in again.
Right, just like that. Also, how’d you get up on top of the car that fast…? And ouch, I didn’t mean do it to me!!!
Yeah, I’m not sorry either now that you mention it. Why don’t you get up there again and give it one more go, in fact? Just please first, take the belt off this time? That thing hitting me in the groin is not ideal….
I think maybe we should see other people….
–
Alrighty then. That’s all I’ve got. Hopefully by the time you read this I’ll already be hammered and soaking. Naked girls accepted, but not necessary.
Love ya’s.
Have a good weekend, nerds.
–
http://68.media.tumblr.com/a0427de0c8e3d37ca74c10f34a61965d/tumblr_ooazaesjyp1uldogao1_500.gif
wankitnow.com is always my first choice for weather coverage
I like how the fabric drapes
Since the nhl loves the shootout so much, why not give a penalty shot for every penalty? How about a penalty shot AND a power play if you don’t score?
I need to clean this place, but I’d rather hire some help to do the job.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/9ca9d54278b404d48625cf9e348d3864/tumblr_n85wg4KYuC1txeyylo3_250.gif
Just replying to my own post as a buffer of sorts.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/6f151e1a31a4670b30ff2e7a90635f43/tumblr_oo2qbptXhS1w4xo4bo1_400.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/feb97f0159aad52cacb6eb54347ab241/tumblr_okrdmchwps1uldogao1_400.gif
I remember that full gif/video. She’s freakishly tall and skinny but has the most amazingly bouncy boobs.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/2f9e844a9e5ccaf04b636fc836d0e95d/tumblr_onxef3rp9G1vs7s1zo1_540.gif
I bet she can juggle and deal card very well too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYv03RHES38&ab_channel=WelcometotheNET
http://68.media.tumblr.com/9d7851756c82ecc016af486e96957fe6/tumblr_nb39orJc251txeyylo2_r1_250.gif
Um … I need to go.
Whoa….flashback!!!!
😀
SPHINCTER ALERT!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9BfvPjsXXw
Thought it would be this one
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccY25Cb3im0
Man, that song just kinda keeps going, doesn’t it.
Yeah well, considering the backstory here which I’m not gonna list publicly, Closer is a scary thought.
BACKDOOR story.
No. Tricked into grabbing a penis by someone who thought he was funny.
It was fake! Fake dick news!
http://68.media.tumblr.com/22021912810f6ed31582857c61b55def/tumblr_nb39orJc251txeyylo4_250.gif
Sadly, the one I grabbed was not fake. In my defense, it was attached at the time to a very convincing young “lady”. My suspicion is that it is no longer attached. Which reminds me….I need to find her and say hello. Aside from the penis, she was rather fetching.
AND WAS A CHEAP DATE.
AMAZING THAT YOU MADE IT OUT ALIVE WITHOUT TURNIN’ TEJH GAY!
Don’t worry; both is OK.
Who says I did?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgue6qesdIA
http://68.media.tumblr.com/33f51eacfcfe57a8d7be4c354f1165da/tumblr_omgh8k7kNN1w76fc0o1_250.gif
I can’t take credit for that; but it fucking cracked me up.
That’s brilliant.
h/t MTWV:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-7bVZYy_ds
A dream
http://celebritypicturesdvds.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/247-1.jpg
Moar liek blu VEISN label amirite?
Indeed. She needs to let them breathe. Won’t anyone tell her she’s asphyxiating them in that dress?
The first thing that came to mind:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XG4FUVKZOs&feature=youtu.be&t=45s
https://gfycat.com/AnotherFirmBronco
She’s firming up yet another Bronco, so…way to pay it forward young lady!!
I’m still hoping for her to do a Marvel movie where she wears something extremely tight, especially in the ass.
This could’ve been her, but she had to go and be pregnant when they filmed Iron Man 2.
https://gfycat.com/SmallLimpAmethystinepython
If you have the wrong personnel on the ice after an icing, you are charged a timeout; no timeouts? Penalty. How fucking hard is that to figure out, NHL?
Active SWAT situation on the street behind my grandparents’ old house!
http://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/2017/05/05/ingram-standoff-situation/
A broadcast call sign that start with ‘K’ for a station EAST of the Mississippi? Thanks Trpum.
Not until they add two more to the callsign
http://68.media.tumblr.com/fa5276bd825e9c2e3add499cd16a9fa5/tumblr_om1natuxkE1s44gl2o1_540.jpg
“Those are hazelnuts. The peanuts are by the nose.”
Russ!
http://68.media.tumblr.com/d2c2bd509651d802542c4201840c6635/tumblr_nujdycJ3dj1un3qdvo1_400.gif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJ4wa-Mc6Xc&ab_channel=AggressivelyMediocre
She seems fun.
Overheard in the grocery store within the last 30 minutes…
White woman on phone with two kids in tow: Hey, it’s me. I’m gonna make tacos for Cinqo. Do you want some Corona? OK, good.
/pulls twelve pack of Corona from cooler.
I just don’t get white people.
Then again, white ppl DID give the world casual female bisexuality. Huzzah, us!!
Sappho would like a word.
“Hey; are you done with the upright bench?”
Guy seated: “No, sorry, I can’t stand up right just yet.”
Go Broncos.
Heeeeeeeey laaaadiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeees…..
http://68.media.tumblr.com/6f22d87ac4ccf305c349e3ba1d84535f/tumblr_onxyn0PV8W1trq7rdo1_250.gif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2viNLwFx7vU
http://68.media.tumblr.com/91ad4f7492383553c61919332f2277fd/tumblr_oom3i3Gg4S1wn0hqpo5_r1_500.gif
1 kB should be more than enough for any system.
FACK YOU, DAD!!!!!
Belle certainly does not need dad’s money any more. He probably barrows from her.
I no recognize, thought this were random Girls With Low Self-Esteem
You no recognize fishnets with fake Chuck Taylors?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-4478160/Bella-Thornewears-tiny-Daisy-Dukes-matching-crop-top.html?ITO=1490
TAKE IT TO DA HOOP!
Looks like girls having fun to me.
She has the opposite of low self-esteem:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2254074/
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/05/05/23/3FFB99AD00000578-4478160-Sunshine_and_fun_Jordan_is_the_rumored_ex_of_Kendall_Jenner_the_-a-29_1494024448458.jpg
Best Coast, a No Whammies reference, and the Conway Twitty thing: Three things that make me happy. And Amber Heard is down with the ladies, so that’s also cool.
Happy Cinco you demented fuckers. Love you (in a penis/butt way only).
STUPID SEXY MOOSE!
Gotta keep it sexy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54GV2qS3tL4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBXNa0ipFPQ
http://i.imgur.com/E66EMIL.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/e8bb2c2cd5acd27012eba93c10cc8c53/tumblr_oomhhnYLH61wn0hqpo2_r1_400.gif
Balls. I can’t get that video to run. I have like 9 things set up to block my computer from malicious attacks. Turned them all off. Still won’t run
That’s weird. I linked to a site that has the video on it. Maybe the link was bad?