Stumbling Towards the Finish

King Hippo

King Hippo

Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan.Also a proud fookin’ Evertonian.Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child.[Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
King Hippo

Latest posts by King Hippo (see all)

I keep looking for stories…something, FFS.  But there’s nothing.  Just Hull and Swans battling for the last life buoy.  And the play on the pitch has been reflecting such.  Some truly dire shite.  At least I have to pick up my kid from college first thing Saturday, and will only watch Everton/Swans.

Man City and Palace kick things off first (7:30, NBCSN).  Blech.  The aforementioned Tiggers of Hull take on already ded Sunderland in the featured match of the 10:00 window (NBCSN).  Leicester and Watford play on CNBC (who gives a fuck?), the other matches even worse.

Swans host Everton in the spotlight dance (12:30, NBC), already knowing if the gap is 2, 3, or 5.  That will make a big difference in the intensity level, for sure.  But a must-win regardless.  Ronald Koeman will no doubt be fuming after the dreadful performance at home against Chelsea last week, and insist that his Toffees at least show up and give it a go.  I’m feeling 2-2 draw.  If such a result takes Hull 4 points clear, the last week of the season could have no meaning for absolutely anyone.  FEEL THE EXCITE!!

3rd position Liverpool tussle with pseudo-bogey side Soton Sunday morning (8:30, NBCSN), followed by United’s visit to The Emirates to play the Gooners (11:00, NBCSN).  Pretty decent footy, hopefully.  Arsenal are unlikely to crack Top 4, but they could still fuck the Red Devils over.

Monday Night footy has inevitable champions (who now need a total of 6 points – minus any that Spurs drop in its last 3 – with Spurs losing to West Ham Friday night) Chelsea hosting inevitable relegation sufferers Middlesbrough (3:00, NBCSN) in a fixture that will likely be 3-nil by halftime.  FEEL THE EXCITE!! redux.

King Hippo
King Hippo

Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin’ Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]

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JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

Anyone have advice for dealing with ants?

My new house, pretty much the only issue I run into is I got ants. Small little ones that come out at night.

I am a neurotic clean freak, as much as one can be while owning a bird. I was sitting on the couch, and spotted like three of them and I just vacuuming and scrubbed down my entire living room and kitchen (I got wood flooring in both).

Its not nearly as bad as when I lived in South Carolina (it was three of us living in a shitty row home and my roommates were bit piggish when it came to dirty dishes and what not).

I got to be really careful about chemicals, even natural ones because of the bird. I find ants are usually attracted to water so I am trying to make shirt I don’t leave like cold drinks pooling condensation on them and none of my drains leak. I got an idea of where they are coming from but its not from a door way but a tiny space between my living room wall and the floor trim.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Boron, borox. One of those is a common natural ant repellent.

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

Thanks. I will check it out.

Again, I got to be REALLY careful about what I bring into the house because of the fucking parrot.

Senor Weaselo
Member

Rangers will win Game 6 and then go up 5 goals in Game 7 and proceed to give it all back in the last 2 minutes culminating in the game-tying goal coming with 0.3 seconds left. And then losing in OT of course. Calling it now.

Shogun Marcus
Member

By ratio, the horsey race has WAY more pre-game v. actual game than the superb owl.

Senor Weaselo
Member

I live about 3 miles from Belmont Park. I have never been to Belmont Park.

litre_cola
Member

Kinda like the crackhouse down the street.

scotchnaut
Member

Look. At. You. Senators!!!!!!!!

Shogun Marcus
Member

Yeah! Saying the House healthcare bill is DOA is kinda pretty good. Oh…wait, I forgot, canadia teams. Never mind.

scotchnaut
Member

Just so everyone knows-(this is very important) I’m tired.

litre_cola
Member

I feel kike it will be 12 years before I sleep

Senor Weaselo
Member

The ol’ reverse Rip Van Winkle, eh?

scotchnaut
Member

As a Sens fan, I don’t think they deserve to win this series.

Senor Weaselo
Member

It’s okay because the Rangers will let them score as many goals as necessary to tie it in the last 3 minutes.

scotchnaut
Member

Man, you’re the smartest guy I know…

Senor Weaselo
Member

Oh for fuck’s sake.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
scotchnaut
Member

Faccking Rangers score.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

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scotchnaut
Member

Just so everyone knows-(this is very important) Land’s End T-shirts are way more better as far as quality is concerned than Eddie Bauer’s.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, which ones are sweat shop products? I’ll by those.

http://cdn2.vox-cdn.com/assets/4806512/yard.gif

scotchnaut
Member

Just so everyone knows-(this is very important) I didn’t lose my virginity until the age of 21.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo
Member

They have training wheels, it doesn’t count!

Senor Weaselo
Member

“Wait, is that supposed to be late?” -Senor and Redshirt

scotchnaut
Member

Just so everyone knows-(this is very important) I hit 7 straight 3 pointers in an intramural game when I was 35 years old.

scotchnaut
Member

Just so everyone knows- (this is very important)-as a 10 year-old goalie I posted a .75 goals against average in my house league. Beat That!

blaxabbath
Member

We should shoot every person who slams on their brakes so they can come to a stop while the light is still yellow.

And set on fire when it’s at a 30mph intersection with no one coming from any other direction in a quiet Saturday .

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

As someone you’re saving a bullet for, I’ll give the reasoning as to why I have sometimes done this.

Much of the driving I’ve done over the last few years has been in a dense city where yellow lights are *very* short and red light cameras were abundant. So when I head to the suburbs, I forget how much longer those yellows are and stop short.

It’s probably not that safe, but I generally drive like an old woman anyway

blaxabbath
Member

NO EXCUSES!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

A vast majority of accidents here are by fuckers “pushing the yellow (actually red)” and following too close. You are not the problem.

litre_cola
Member

Blax to the NW of you in Sun City teh old folks view yellows as greens. It is suicide driving up there.

scotchnaut
Member

If someone could spear Grabner in the ballsack, that would be great.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
scotchnaut
Member

So. Much. Tomato. Sauce.

Senor Weaselo
Member

Deadpool approves

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Wakezilla
Member

NHL Trainer in the playoffs: “True or false, you can hear what I’m saying”

Dazed bro in the gif: “Blahodhdjsksjkwbdjdh”

NHL Trainer: “You don’t need the protocol. You’re good to go.”

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

That’s more thorough than the NFL’s

Wakezilla
Member

To commemorate the anniversary of the Hindenburg disaster, the Ice Slurs are playing an eliminatiom game tonight

Wakezilla
Member

Teaching a class about Belarussian partisans today and holy shit, I totally forgot how insane and important Belarus was to discombobulating Germany. Stuoid Russophobia ruining good stories.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Hell, most Americans are unaware of how WWII isn’t won in Europe without the Soviets doing most of the work.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

But the books about Stalingrad are such a fun and uplifting read!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla
Member

Hey, there’s some historical badasses that emerged from that! Like that Maria chick whol sold her possessions and let a tank army against the Krauts

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

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litre_cola
Member

I am from Manitoba, and this is not only plausible, but kind of expected.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

FAHKIN YAUNGSTAHS! I MEMBER WHEN WE DID NAUGHT HAVE DEM NEW FANGALED MACHEENS!!
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Wakezilla
Member

Every zamboni driver ever looks like they could get a dui if they were breath-a-lizered.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://68.media.tumblr.com/23007b69ed4653ecfa5aab9d3ec055f3/tumblr_nfcbwrgHF11tzon2so1_1280.jpg

Home owner to reporter: “Well, to be honest; we never did like him as a neighbor.”

scotchnaut
Member

“Seriously, that whole thing about ‘staring into the abyss’? We were just joking.”

-Mr & Mrs. Nietzsche, next door neighbours

scotchnaut
Member

Should I die tomorrow the last thing I’d want to say to all of you is…

If you make a Ceasar, put a pepperoncini pepper into that drink-you won’t be disappointed*

*if you are disappointed, I won’t care. Because I’m dead.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, I don’t want you to die tomorrow, BUT that is good advice.

http://68.media.tumblr.com/2b66b4d304e9963113bc0d2ab10bc9d8/tumblr_ogynxuwX3D1tl68gzo1_500.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

If I’m going to die tomorrow; please let me know so I can drink that nice single malt that is just sitting there.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

WAIT! Maybe that is what would cause or contribute to my death.

http://68.media.tumblr.com/a89659c796ba591236250c4493cd5070/tumblr_o187gfAfnd1uhyibpo1_540.jpg

scotchnaut
Member

If you feel like you’re dead inside, or if you just happen to be inside some sort of structure-I think you should get to know that single malt.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://media.giphy.com/media/Q8VCAek0MGjRK/giphy.gif

I’ll vacuum first so the cops won’t think I was a pig…… until they look at my search history.

scotchnaut
Member

Sens score. OK then.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
scotchnaut
Member

Jesus…

scotchnaut
Member

Here’s hoping the Sens don’t screw the monkey right now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
scotchnaut
Member

I’m not anti-monkey screwer. I’d like to make that clear. If you like to screw monkeys I’m not going to call you out.

Zebras? Ya, you’re a sick fuck.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I am more of a “live and let live” person….. but them damn zebras can kick; buyer beware!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut
Member

Kicking zebras are the number one cause of Lion concussions.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

AND THE JUNGLE KINGDOM IS SIMPLY SWEEPING LION AND MONKEY CTE UNDER THE SAVANAH!!

scotchnaut
Member

I’ve no choice but to give you a thumbs up. I hope it doesn’t hurt.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

IT’S DISTURBING THAT I CAN SEE BOTH OF YOUR THUMBS BUT CAN STILL FEEL THE ‘UP’ PART!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No offense to monkey wrench.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
scotchnaut
Member

Why, as a matter of fact…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I guess the question for me is; ARE YOU WEIRD ENOUGH?!?!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I rebuilt up our 3 ft high garden wall of stone today. It got me out of mowing the lawn but I have a sprained wrist so I won’t say it was fun.

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

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blaxabbath
Member

I’m just ordering up the parts I need for my hydroponics system. The place I ordered the frame from has not been responsive about a delivery schedule but they’re like $70 cheaper than the place down the street; and since it just hit 100 here, I’m not interested in taking on a build right now. Chris Rock is in town tonight so I’m heading to that later. Hoping to take a stab at some of that asian Sunday Gravy from last week at some point this weekend too.

yeah right
Member

It’s really tasty. Just pre-chop everything and get your pan hot.

I’m definitely fucking with it again.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am listening to the soundtrack of Guardians of the Galaxy 2. Cat Stevens song. Never teared me up once before the movie came out. It will make you cry every time after you have seen the movie

Don T
Member

Yeah. I guess a space racoon and babymorphed tree up the emotional depth of “Can’t Keep It In”.

litre_cola
Member

Hippo your Toffees are snake bitten.

Fronkenshteen
Member

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yeah right
Member

This is one of those rare weekends where all projects are caught up and current. House is clean, car’s been washed, hair is freshly shorn and it looks like it may rain. I’m gonna hit the gym, go to the grocery store, get some Greek food for dinner and get ready to cook tomorrow.

I not only have tomorrow figured out I’m pretty sure that I know what I’m cooking next Sunday.
You gonna like next week I gay-ron-tee.

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

…where all projects are caught up and current. House is clean, car’s been washed, hair is freshly shorn….

JESUS!! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?!?

yeah right
Member

It allows me to have a weekend like this where I can watch sports and drink irresponsibly and blaze up guilt free.
Gyro anyone?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

What the hell would you want to do that for??? You can easily watch sports and drink irresponsibly and blaze up with guilt. You need up your procrastination game.

Fronkenshteen
Member

This match>rangers-sens>Kentucky Derby>caps-pens is a pretty decent sports day for early May.

litre_cola
Member

Are you fucking kidding me? I have to re-certify for bartending at it is a minimum of 4 hours online. You can’t skip shit either they make you play the whole god damn thing.
As angry as I am I am backing your Toffees Hippo.

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

I have something similar at work. You just let the video play in the background and then take the quiz at the end.

litre_cola
Member

Exactly what I did.

Wakezilla
Member

But how will you know if you served it right?

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude
Shogun Marcus
Member

Shout out to all the Hindenburg peeps and the sprots franchises that carry on in their honor. Oh the huge manatee.

Don T
Member

Huge AND tender
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Don T
Member

“as told to”
/dies of laughter

Horatio Cornblower
Member

I picture the manuscript as just being a bunch of screaming about pain and blood before ol’ Aaron Chamboard got hold of it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Aaron Chamboard be choppin’…….

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Prolly hearin’ some voices in his head too.

Fronkenshteen
Member

THIS IS SHOCKING actually, no, wait. This isn’t surprising in the least:
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-39827244

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This seems…… somehow……. familiar……. can’t quite……. place it though….

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Fronkenshteen
Member

Maybe part of the speech delay happens because the more parents give kids those screens, the less they’re actually talking to them.comment image

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

Its like sex ed. You got these communities where “Its my job to talk to MY kids about sex”…which convinces me that adults have no fucking memory of their parents. So these kids never learn shit except by mistakes.

I lost track of the number of people I had to explain basic reproductive health in the navy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Look at the bright side; at least it was explaining and not showing.

Wakezilla
Member

Is it true that if you don’t use it, you lose it?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

YEP!

Fucking electronic babysitter; what the fuck do people expect.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They don’t expect; that is the problem.

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

The fucking EPL is perpetually…meh. Last year was so much fun and I think it will be at least 100 years before there is a season nearly as interesting.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

It will probably be a very long time before we see a sports year as good as last year.

Horatio Cornblower
Member

Yes, that’s what I’ll remember from 2016.

Sports.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO P*TRIOTS!!!!!!!!

Oh, sorry, yeah, I know what you mean.

Don T
Member

There’s been stuff to follow. Antonio Conte making it after a slow start. Pep’s DEBACLE (quote from English fucktard press). Liverpool killing it against top teams and blowing it against bad. The EPL teams going to the Champions next season may just blow almost anyone but three teams.
But the Lester thing last season was incredible. This one, their swoon caused indifference and Ranieri’s sacking sucked the goodwill for the wuvable overachievers. Besides, unreal football has been played by Juventus, Monaco, Real Madrid, Bayern Munich, and Barcelona. Meanwhile, Cherries hosting West Brom ?.

litre_cola
Member

Fulhams rise to the playoffs in the Championship Don T?

/I will leave now

yeah right
Member

The rally cry for Bournemouth, “We’re number 10!”
Or “Satisfied with perfectly average.”

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