Your “Death From Above; Baltimore Monday” Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

  • ESPN had someone follow future broadcaster Tony Romo around a golf course during his US Open qualifier.
    • I don’t think they cut back enough.
  • Future broadcaster & futurer GM Jay Cutler advises the Bears to not play Mitch Trubisky if the season goes into the shitter.
    • “If it’s going downhill, there’s no way I’m playing him. For what? So he can go out there and take a beating and he can get off to a rough start as an NFL quarterback?” said a man familiar with John Fox’s handiwork.
  • ¡Hola Crimebeat! Second-year Jets WR Robby Anderson was arrested in Miami for scuffling with security & then resisting arrest. Because why go half-assed?!
  • ESPN dropped Jerome Bettis today, probably because Trent Dilfer can’t even get laid off without taking a quality running back with him.
Not his worst drop however…
  • Not cut by ESPN? Tim Tebow, who had his contract extended today.
    • Wait – he’s not Roy Hobbs?

Finally, the NFL has purchased a 3% stake in Fanatics, the sports retailer that also runs its official online shop.

  • This way, they make money off both the licencing of trademarks and the profits the company makes off of sales.
  • Fanatics is the “master licencee” for the NFL, meaning that companies go through Fanatics in order to make branded products.
    • allowing a sub-licencing fee to be collected
  • FYI:
    • MLB also has a 1.5% stake in Fanatics.
    • Fanatics just bought Majestic Athletic, which produces jerseys for MLB.

On a quest for science videos of birds of prey today, I stumbled across a fantastic livestream of a Peregrine Falcon nest on a Baltimore rooftop, which became extremely interesting once the mother brought a rat up to feed to the chicks.

Sadly, not “White” Mike McArdle.

It looks like I now have an educational distraction to keep open on my desktop, one that knows to finish the Patriots its prey before celebrating feeding it to its young.

PLAY ‘TIL IT’S DEAD!

Anyway, the top of the Transamerica tower has never looked lovelier, or poop-strewn.

Enjoy!


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Capitals at Penguins – 7:30PM | NBCSN / CBC / Sportsnet
      • Game 6 – Pens up 3-2
  • NBA:
    • Warriors at Jazz – 9:00PM | TNT / TSN
      • Game 4 – Warriors up 3-0
  • MLB:
    • Giants at Mets – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
    • Cleveland at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1

LeBron & company beat the Raptors into the ground, so now Toronto is out of sports teams to follow. OH, SO SAD!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Brick Meathook

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Gratliff

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Senor Weaselo

So I made myself one of them mac and cheese bowls and I put an accidentally-too-vigorous shake of that Reaper powder. I’m not dead!

JustStopDude

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Senor Weaselo

I believe that’s a balk.

JustStopDude

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LemonJello

Roger Goodell fines her $15000 for this hit as “not in keeping with our Heads Up program.”

Senor Weaselo

And James Harrison $50,000.

Gratliff

South Korea first pitch game is strong

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Kid would’ve been better off dead.

JustStopDude

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
LemonJello

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello

PK? We know it’s you!

JustStopDude
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I got tickets the other day to see Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, which I know must sound like a class on contract negotiation led by Cam Newton to some, but is actually an awesome punk super group that covers pop and love songs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zG2e2B6xHdQ

Unsurprised

They’re great.

litre_cola

If all the lads are there it will be phenomenal. I am very jealous. Very very jealous.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

I could watch baseball fans eat shit all day.

Unsurprised

I thought Chris Christie was a Yankees fan.

King Hippo

he’s bi now??

Unsurprised

Anyway, the “Twin Picks” title below reminded me of the sickest, most amazing PFTC joke I’ve seen in years.
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Unsurprised

FUCK! I just missed out on a half-priced coffee milkshake at Starbucks. Oh, well. It’s probably for the best since I got a bacon cheeseburger and fries at Five Guys for lunch.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

I mean, Caps failure is tradition, but Penguins collapse is delicious.

Senor Weaselo

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JustStopDude

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LemonJello

What is that? Duck? Goose?

Unsurprised

Skyfather’s goose is cooked.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Can’t tell. But deduction (lightning…probably on powerline, etc) would tell me it’s a flying rat….aka the urban pigeon. nasty little fucks.

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
LemonJello

Damn. Missed them both!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

When Bath Salts Reach Manitoba

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It hailed so hard here I felt like doing that on my track; probably 40 broken windows in our parking lot

litre_cola

Being a proud Manitoban, the “locals” are more apt to huffing lysol or drinking mouthwash. Which is why they are both locked up at stores. Sadly I amnot joking

LemonJello

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Unsurprised

I still dig Angie Harmon.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Eventually you need to just leave the body alone.
The more you dig it up, the more evidence you leave. Plus…teh smellz.

LemonJello

Ice Slurs v. Ice Stillers getting chippy already…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

h

ttp://officialinsidesports.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/boobs.jpg

King Hippo

there’s a variation on Lewis Black’s “two penguins blowing each other” joke to be made re the Ice Stillers’ performance since that 2nd intermission of Game 5…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Still hot EVEN IN THAT JERSEY.

Unsurprised

She should take it off anyway.

WCS

FORE!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fat cop grabbing titties.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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“Wrong hole.”

LemonJello

“Still a virgin.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

SULLY’S FACKIN WAHSTAHD

Unsurprised

Priorities: try to keep the beer upright

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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To the left.

scotchnaut

the folks that created Wheat Thins with cracked pepper and olive oil did NOT hold back on the pepper end of the recipe.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
scotchnaut

This Just In: Crosby hit with errant stick-playoffs canceled. Penguins awarded Stanley Cup. Maple Leafs given first overall draft pick.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Errant?

scotchnaut

Sorry. “Truant”.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

My bad; I thought it was Keoahikamakaua’s will.

scotchnaut

“Gillooly” was one of the ’90’s greatest names.

Shogun Marcus

Tomorrows substitute gig is Middle school, with the emotionally disturbed. So I guess I’ll be doing an all-school assembly.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I did not know about the gig at DFO HQ.

blaxabbath

Good thing you got gun laws.

scotchnaut

NHL Playoffs: Come for the excitement, stay for the abomination that is Sidney Crosby’s “playoff mustache”!

litre_cola

Mario is letting him have chocolate milk now.

LemonJello

Eli is totes jelly that Sid gets “choccy mikk.”
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ballsofsteelandfury

This is why you should exclusively buy your sports merchandise from dubious sources in China.

litre_cola

Nods while deciding which knock off Gigantes jersey I should wear to ball tonight…

WCS

Precisely.

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ballsofsteelandfury

OMG I WANT THAT!

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

……….

ballsofsteelandfury

You know you want it too

Brick Meathook

How to win an Oscar:
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ballsofsteelandfury

Also play someone with a disability.

Shogun Marcus

BUT NEVER GO FULL RETARD!

LemonJello

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scotchnaut

Is anyone reading anything?

I just got through Kavilier and Clay and am now slogging through Pursuit of Power:Europe 18something-1914 though I’m going to dive into Chryssie Hynde’s “Reckless” later tonight.

ballsofsteelandfury

Quite a few people would like to dive into Chryssie Hynde…

Shogun Marcus

Reading is outlawed now. Creates non-sponsored thought. Now go watch dancing with survivor drag race rules.

King Hippo

Just finished “Journey Into the Whirlwind” – highly recommend this booky-book

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Not that there is anything wrong with that…….

JustStopDude

Gnats getting shelled in the first inning…4-0 and the O’s are still up.

All is well…

scotchnaut

Cutler has seen some shit, man.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

Is that necklace a target?

LemonJello

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/obligatory

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

•ESPN dropped Jerome Bettis today, probably because Trent Dilfer can’t even get laid off without taking a quality running back with him.

Fucking excellent Dilfer burn.

Bettis WAS one of the less irritating experts, sometimes actually enjoyable, IMO.

ballsofsteelandfury

Did you know he was from Detroit?

litre_cola

He did not play basketball like Jimmy Graham either