A Glorious Lesser Footy Weekend FOAR Moms!

King Hippo

King Hippo

Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan.Also a proud fookin’ Evertonian.Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child.[Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
King Hippo

Latest posts by King Hippo (see all)

Well, for chav moms who support Chelsea anyway ,, smgdh.  Yes, the title is decided, thanks to an 82nd minute goal by little used (zero Prem starts) forward Michy Batshuayi.  Who I hoped Everton might be able to pry away this summer, but now will be a North London folk hero forevs.  SIGH.

At least Everton won their Friday night footy match against dire Watford, 1-nil, on a Ross Barkley screamer.  It could be the last home appearance in royal blue for Ross, Phil Jagielka, and (shudder) Romelu Lukaku.  Suicide NEVAR seemed MOAR appealing, yo.

Man City (who realistically need only 6 points from their last 3 games to clinch Top 4 and CL qualification, given their massive goal differential) take on Foxy Footy to start the weekend (7:25, NBCSN).  Oddly enough, the Foxes have won 4 of their last 5 against Ian Curtis’ favourite side.  Making it 5 of 6 would surprise greatly.

In the 10:00 window, you have own-destiny-controlling Swans visiting Sunderland, the team that fucked over Hull last week (NBCSN).  Who knows if they have it in them to play spoiler two weeks running, or if they’ll just go back to playing dead?  Southampton/Boro and Burnley/Bournemouth are on Extra Time, with no real impact on anything.

Arsenal, after beating United last Sunday, probably have the best (albeit small) chance of catching the Redshite for the final CL ticket.  They get free-falling, 13th position Stoke (12:30, NBCSN) in an absolute must-win match.

Side note – with all the new TV money, there is now “merit pay” of 2m pounds sterling for each place higher one finishes in the table.  Looking at how clumped together sides #8-15 are…14m would buy a pretty decent player (even in the inflated transfer market) to help a mid-table side consolidate its position, at least.  But very few seem arsed about it, once survival is assured and European footy is off the table.  Before yesterday’s Chelsea/West Brom match, they noted that Tony Pulis-managed teams have a total of five wins out of fucking 41 matches after reaching the magic 40 points (generally accepted as the safety threshold).  Make it 5/42, as WBA lost to Chelsea.

Rant over, back to actual sport.  You get a Sunday triple, over two networks because I guess some other even fruitier (no ofence) Euro-sport is taking precedence.  The first is a doozy, Hull taking on Crystal Palace (7:00, CNBC).  Should the Tiggers win this one (and Swans get anything on Saturday), all of a sudden Fat Sam is back in the shit.  While Hull and Swansea have winnable Final Sunday matches (Hull against Spurs with 2nd locked up, Swans v. WBA)…Palace must play at United.  It’s likely the Red Devils will still have at least a mathematical chance at Top 4, and even if not…it will almost surely be Wayne Rooney’s last home game at Old Trafford.   Yeah, they will be trying to win.

Next is the Redshite at West Ham (9:15, CNBC), the best chance for the door to crack open for Arsenal and/or United to make a run at Top 4.  Here’s hoping!  Followed by the White Hart Lane finale, Spurs v. United (11:30, NBCSN).  Hopefully, this won’t be too much of a letdown with Spurs locked into bridesmaid position (hey, at least they can’t choke that away again like last season – progress!!), and we will see a spirited match.  WHL deserves that kind of send-off.

King Hippo
King Hippo

Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin’ Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut
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START THE GODDAMN HOCKEY GAME ALREADY!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Bloody Lethal
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Bloody Lethal

One of my best friends got engaged today and I am getting ready to go celebrate with us and ours, but I was supposed to play in my beer league hockey game tonight. What I mean to say is can’t you propose on an off day my man?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude
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JustStopDude

Donald Trump speaks to gullible students of his days as New York playboy, lovingly watching sermons of gruesome reptile priest Jerry Falwell pic.twitter.com/hAXSzbQpBb— DPRK News Service (@DPRK_News) May 13, 2017

//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

WCS
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This is the greatest thing I’ve seen this week.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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and that was only Tuesday morning…..

Bloody Lethal
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Bloody Lethal

Don’t you wish Jon Lester would throw some strikes???

JustStopDude
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JustStopDude
Wakezilla
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The Swiss just scored 2 quick goals to tie the game up against Canada.

I haven’t seen Canadians get blown up from a quick attack in France since the Battle of Normandy.

yeah right
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Well, it’s ballet day again. I do get to see both of my daughters and all 3 of the granddaughters which is fantastic and all I have to do is survive the ballet. Beauty and the beast this time.
It’s times like these I’m envious of you oxy practitioners.

Wakezilla
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Over at my old man’s house and we’re watching Inferno. 5 minutes in, and this shit is funny because it’s such a train wreck

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Bloody Lethal
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Bloody Lethal

Chris Sale is like watching baseball on speed.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola
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Am I yelling at my tv? Yes. Yes I am.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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Here.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

THAT IS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL!!!
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Bloody Lethal
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

NICE TOUCH FOR TEH BACKGROUND SOURCE!!

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Why is he yelling? Is he getting pegged?

Bloody Lethal
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Bloody Lethal

BUTTS UP

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

That Madden cover makes me wish the curse is real because I hope Brady fucking dies.

Bloody Lethal
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Bloody Lethal

I don’t care if I sound ignorant. I hate making all the uniforms pink and shit for a day.

litre_cola
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But what about all the money the NFL doesnt give to charity?????

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

And the more shit they can sell…… to people who don’t give to charity?????

Wakezilla
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Who would want to shit for a day? That sounds painful

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Why are there #BFIB in the banner pic?

ballsofsteelandfury
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A hearty thank you to whoever recommended Bon Cop Bad Cop! That shit was funny, had some nice titties, and was very informative as to the language dynamics of eastern Canadia.

Bloody Lethal
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Bloody Lethal

I recently heard about this show, gotta check it out.

ballsofsteelandfury
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It’s a show now? I caught the movie on Netflix.

Bloody Lethal
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Bloody Lethal

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Fronkenshteen
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So Trump is taping himself like Nixon now?

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem
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No, he thinks he’s still on The Apprentice

Fronkenshteen
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Was yesterday’s “tapes” tweet Trump threatening Comey? As in “Watch what you say to the media because I have our whole conversation on tape”?
Forgive me, I’m a bit of a dumb.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

A threat, but an empty one; if anybody recorded it to protect himself, it was Comey.

Fronkenshteen
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You believe this electorate can flip the House in 2018?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

After 2016 I have no confidence.

I anything positive.

Fronkenshteen
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Any circumstances under which you see Congressional Repubs turn on Trump?

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

No

Fronkenshteen
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Seems like they’ve done it then. I have to tip my hat to them. They’ve played the perfect 40 year long game, and it looks like they’ve locked up total control. I’m going to keep leaving pictures and articles of New Zealand around for my wife to see. Maybe one day she’ll change her mind. Because this place will never snap back after what we are about to endure.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

It was broken the day Trump took office. We live in a corporatist fascist state now. It’s only a matter of time before the judiciary that isn’t already in line (Which, sadly, includes a majority of the Supreme Court) is simply ignored and marginalized with impunity a la Andrew Jackson telling the Court to go fuck itself and forcing the Cherokee to march the Trail of Tears anyway.

And it will happen. And as a lawyer I am ashamed to say that my profession exists in part to prevent this from ever happening, and it not only failed but has actively participated in the collapse.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Anything can happen.

However, this electorate isn’t flipping anything.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
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Nearly every midterm in the last 80 years has lead to gains for the opposition party. The only recent exceptions were 1998 (Clinton was very popular) and 2002 (still in the 9/11 let’s unite to bomb the world afterglow). American voters are fickle and change their minds for the sake of changing their minds, so it would truly shocking if the Dems didn’t gain seats.

The question will be how many of the gains go to establishment Dems and whether they offer enough palatable options to regain the House majority.

Fronkenshteen
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Can’t wait to watch EVERY Democratic challenger get mysteriously hacked right before Election Day. I’m also imagining what glorious voter suppression techniques await us in 2018.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The hackers have learned to hide their tracks better.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla
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Dems will gain, but I think the GOP will still have a majority.

litre_cola
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Ah Firstrowsports.eu you never disappoint. 8 streams for teh mighty Cottagers.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
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I’ll never take Tom Brady’s YELLING TO SHOW INTENSITY seriously.

Fronkenshteen
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That’s why I never liked The Replacements. Band not movie.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem
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I found some unused rage sitting around in a corner for this. Brady on the cover would have been just another indignity to be borne, but fuck him and the GOAT he rode in on.

Senor Weaselo
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Go cartoon anvil and/or piano!

Bloody Lethal
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Bloody Lethal

litre_cola
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I believe it was written that we would talk about el glorious Fulham if they made it to the playoffs and here we are….

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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In this morning’s fantasy, while walking his dog, Rikki-Tikki-Deadly encounters none other than Jenn Sterger!

JENN STERGER: [bends down to pet the dog] What a cute little wiener dog!

RTD: [peeks down her shirt] She’s half beagle.

JENN STERGER: Oh, so only half-wiener.

RTD: Like Brett Favre, yes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Dear Penthouse Letters,

I was turgid as a football before Tom Brady’s equipment guy got to it. Even in my baggy Raiders (R) shorts, “Jenn” could not help but notice, and by her gasp and smile I knew she was impressed. My dog was licking her ankles (as far as he could reach) mimicking my own desires……..”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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The funny thing is that I *do* have baggy Raiders shorts!

“Are those Raiders shorts?” Jenn smiled coyly, “or is it…a tent?”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Raiders MINI camp!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

At least it is not rookie camp.

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