Your “It’s Only the Unofficial Start of Summer, It’s Still Good!” Memorial Day Open Thread

Senor Weaselo

Senor Weaselo

Senor Weaselo plays the violin. He tucks it right under his chin. When he isn’t doing that, he enjoys watching his teams (Yankees, Jets, Knicks, and Rangers), trying to ingest enough capsaicin to make himself breathe fire (it hasn’t happened yet), and scheming to acquire the Bryant Park zamboni.
Senor Weaselo

Seriously, I can’t be the only one miffed, nay, irked, that the Stanley Cup Final goes in June at this point. In what world is there ice in fucking June? Other than, you know, the Southern Hemisphere since it’s winter there. (For what it’s worth, I also have beefs with MLB because the World Series, you know, October baseball, ends in November, and with the NCAA because March Madness ends in April.)

Anyway, tonight’s Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Final Ice Super Bowl between the Preds and Pens. Sorry, WCS, but neutral rooting interests probably have to root for the Ice Titans, and non-neutral rooting interests (read: I) probably have to do the same (read: Sidney Crosby et al can go fuck themselves with a rusty piece of rebar. Or a piece for each of them. I’m less picky about that part.) Though like Rob I’ll also take Pens in 6. Sorry neutrals, we can’t have nice things, see this whole year. It will be more fun to watch than the inevitable slog that led up to Cavs-Warriors and to be honest I dooooon’t caaaaaare at this point.


NFL News
Richard Sherman made good on his promise to a HS student that if she got her grades up and made honor roll senior year he’d give her a scholarship.

No news or talks between Michael Vick and the Atlanta Falcons. Vick hopes to sign a one-day contract to retire as a Falcon.
-The Falcons will find a way to squander it.

Other Sports News
Tiger Woods was arrested on a DUI charge early Monday morning near his home in Jupiter, FL. Woods was later released on his own recognizance.
-Didn’t his fall from grace initially start with a hooked drive?

After his retirement from NPR last month and Blax’s thoughts on his legacy, Frank Deford passed away yesterday at the age of 78.


As you may know, it’s Memorial Day, the day where we accidentally thank people for their service (not that we shouldn’t, and for all those who served, I would like to extend that thanks), even though Memorial Day is to remember those who made the ultimate sacrifice and died in the service of their country. And fortunately those we get to thank in person are still with us.

It’s also the unofficial start of summer, so if you think we ain’t gon grill, oh we gon grill, bullee dat. If we haven’t all been grilling before then, of course. I’m admittedly not the world’s greatest chef, my forte (if you could say I have one) is sauces and seasonings. And mixing as many sodas as I can with a Coke Freestyle machine in one cup as long as it tastes decent. (It’s a combination of Coke, Sprite, Dr. Pepper or Mr. Pibb, and Mello Yello. And cherry variants.) We also gon drank, but it’s a day that ends in Y, so no change there!

It’s also (also) the unofficial quarter-pole…

…I said, unofficial quarter-pole of the MLB season, so let’s see how some wiseass prognosticator’s doing! Let’s see, Boston’s red-hot (boooo…) but the Yanks are in first place (yaaaa… ow, who throws a spork?) The Twinkies are surprisingly good, and the Royals’ rotation was okay but the offense couldn’t hit a lick for long enough that I still look okay for my third-place pick! And my coin flip picking the Astros over the Rangers looks pretty good too! The NL East looks about right except the Mets are worse than I expected (my opinion?). The Central, look at the Beers putting up a fight against the Small Bears thanks in large part to Eric Thames. And the NL West? Who had the Colorado Rockies with the best record in the National League, because I sure as hell didn’t! And Madison Bumgarner getting hurt from a dirtbike accident I couldn’t have predicted to means there goes my wild-card. I guess I’ll be back to look in at the All-Star break.

So since it’s Memorial Day, our topic of the night is war movies. Because they’ve probably been on the History Channel and AMC all weekend. I went and surveyed the clubhouse about their favorite war movies, and here’s what I got!

Balls: Shaving Ryan’s Privates (I would probably not look that one up at work.)
Low Commander: The trailer for Pearl Harbor (and that’s how we got on the Bill Parcells watch list!)
Blax: Fog of War
Rikki: Letters from Iwo Jima (even if not his favorite, because of how good it is)
BFC: The Guns of Navarone
Don_T: Catch-22 (“Yeah the novel’s unbeatable BUT ALAN ARKIN JESUS CHRIST WHY ISN’T THERE A NOBEL PRIZE FOR CASTING”)
tWBS: Platoon (yes, even if it is clichéd)
BeerguyRob: The first half of Full Metal Jacket and all of The Dirty Dozen
Maestro: Apocalypse Now
Yeah Right: A Bridge Too Far (“Accept no substitutes.”)

The ones of these that I’ve seen I entirely agree with. (No, I have not seen Shaving Ryan’s Privates.)

Except for Pearl Harbor of course.

But my personal favorite war movie has a who’s who of stars, whether present (at the time) or future. And Don Rickles (may he rest in peace). That would be Kelly’s Heroes, even if you could argue it’s a heist movie disguised as a WWII movie considering it’s about a generally disillusioned platoon going off to steal a metric shit-ton of gold (yes, the movie did come out during Vietnam, how’d you guess). Clint Eastwood may play the title character Pvt. Kelly, a former lieutenant who was scapegoated and demoted for a failed mission, but it’s Donald Sutherland who makes the movie as tank commander Oddball.

So that’s our conversation piece in addition to the ice footy. What’s your favorite war movie?


What’s on tonight?

NHL:
Stanley Cup Final Game 1: NSH at PIT, 8E, NBC

MLB:
DET at KC, 7E, ESPN

GO DO THE THING!

Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo plays the violin. He tucks it right under his chin. When he isn't doing that, he enjoys watching his teams (Yankees, Jets, Knicks, and Rangers), trying to ingest enough capsaicin to make himself breathe fire (it hasn't happened yet), and scheming to acquire the Bryant Park zamboni.
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BeerguyrobMarc Trestmans Windowless VanWCSMoose -The End Is Well NighUnsurprised Recent comment authors
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

My dad is deaf still from whatever he is dealing with. I can tell because his TV volume is jacked up to 11 and you can hear it past 5 closed doors. And it it just Fox News, not even a movie

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Drew saw my banner quote. That’s transparent gif, btw. You’re welcome.

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I mentioned this earlier but it needs repeating. Canadian whiskey is just awful.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I don’t care I have posted this a million times

Gratliff

Goddamn. Eddie’s been dead for 12 years already.

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Romonobyl
Gratliff

Right around the 5:30 mark

WCS

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

I see crazy Chavo gifs, so let’s do the craziest Chavo:

Gratliff

Giving us such amazing gifs as
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blackroseMD1

Oh man, Eddie was the greatest. Hard to believe he’s been gone so long.

Romonobyl

Anybody else watching Kimmel? That’s a hot girl in a horrible dress.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Look at the balls on that turtle.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Check out dat ass, Jimmy.

Romonobyl
Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

Tom Cruise’s and John Travolta’s spirit animals.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Cats in the closet.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

Just tell the kids they’re strawberry flavored and watch the hilarity ensue!

WCS

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Nothing specifically personal, but I am very uncomfortable with a Japanese driver winning the Indianapolis 500 during Memorial Day weekend,” he wrote.

Local Denver sports “reporter”, who is typical of the Denver jock sniffing media.

Romonobyl

Is he more concerned about Pearl Harbor or the Asian driver stereotype?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nice.

*Not sure what was trickling through his pea brain.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook
Romonobyl

So if I google “black rocket up ass” I’ll find this gif?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Shoulda used more lube.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Hey lady, I like your dress.

Romonobyl

My grandmother had a shower curtain like that in her guest bathroom.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

I’d say my favorite war film is easily Battle of Algiers. Honorable mention goes to When we were Soldiers and Days of Glory (the Arab version of Saving Private Ryan, before SPR).

Moose: To answer your question, I don’t live in El Paso. I live in Vancouver, Canadia. Sometimes it pays off living in a vain city.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I wasn’t asking you if you follow the thread, but agreed, or athletic city. The one thing about our respective cities is the springtime “blooming of women adjusting to warm weather. hm, hmmm, mmmm.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

Teen alcohol consumption is at it’s lowest since 1991. Guess I’d better pick up their slack…

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fortunately they’re making g up the difference with heroin

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Romonobyl

The odds on Trumps impeachment are nearly 50/50. That is a real thing folks.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

Almost as violent as the original Tom and Jerry.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

God damn fake news reporting corruption in our government. When will the liberal media stop reporting facts?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

Well dammit, that shit’s important. Didn’t you read my post last week?!?!?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

I haven’t seen anything explode over a suit like that since Monica Lewinsky!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Romonobyl

Wanna really piss of a hardcore hockey fan? Ask him what quarter it is or if it’s almost halftime.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Wanna piss off a baseball fan? Tell them they actually have to watch the 4 and a half hour game 162 times

Romonobyl

Even better…
EXTRA INNINGS!!!!!

Wakezilla

“Where’s the glowing puck? I miss the glowing puck. Otherwise I can’t tell what’s going on”

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Poker anyone?

Romonobyl

Not till the Rohypnol kicks in.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nice.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Why does that guy hate the floor 3 feet away from the guy he is standing over?

Gratliff

In his defense, Blue Demon, Jr. is like 51, and he probably didn’t want to murder him.

Romonobyl

Hell of a rainstorm in my area last night, got four inches and it was over before I knew it.
That’s also how my wife describes our wedding night.

Beerguyrob

Banner!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I didn’t know you were also into the pissing thing.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I didn’t know you guys were into the pissing thing.

Beerguyrob

Like I said, good drugs.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

Yeah, but more of a distance guy than accuracy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, that is all well and fine, but can she get distance or did you need to change rooms?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Beerguyrob

Her 911 ain’t no joke.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Romonobyl

She’s gonna plant something…

ON MY FACE!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s no squirt gun…..

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I’d plant evidence all over her

Beerguyrob

The Rollins – Reigns match on RAW is actually quite a good show.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Beerguyrob

These drugs I’m on are great. I’m hallucinating Pittsburgh has five goals on ten shots.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Beerguyrob

That explains everything.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

I’m supposed to root against Pittsburgh, right?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I always think that is the best course of action, then just apologize to WCS after

Brocky

So, I lost interest in the game, was watching something else… decide to check back again…

“Oh hey its tied, that’s coo:

**Pittsburgh scores**

“Welp, guess I’m bad luck”

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

THANKS, OBROCKY

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
The Maestro

Rally catfish never fails.

Romonobyl

I prefer cornmeal or a nice beer batter myself.