EXT. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS PRACTICE FACILITY – DAY
The camera follows a flashy yellow sportscar with purple trim as it drives through a set of security gates, then through a most empty parking lot before it stops in front of an entrance to a lush set of practice facilities, where a lone figure is pacing back and forth impatiently. The driver opens the door and emerges from the vehicle.
LEONARD FOURNETTE: Shhhhiiiiiiittttt. You’re already here? I thought I was gonna be the first one to show up.
DAWUANE SMOOT: Early worm gets the bird, dawg. My uncle Fred* taught me that. You know ’bout the worm?
FOURNETTE: Naw.
SMOOT: You see, first you rent a big-ass boat. Then, you…
A black SUV with an UBER logo in the windshield pulls up.
— [passenger door flies open] —
DANTE FOWLER, JR: What’s up, rookies?
FOURNETTE: Oh shit, man, what happened?
FOWLER: What, this? [points at his leg, which is wrapped in a cast and a brace] Oh, it’s cool. Just playin’ it safe.
SMOOT: Wait, what…
A flatbed golf cart arrives and a figure rolls off the back, landing spryly on his feet.
TELVIN SMITH: Who’s ready for some Oh-Tee-A’s?
FOWLER: Oh, shit, nice, man. That should work real good.
SMITH: [glances at Fowler’s getup] Your knee’s okay?
FOWLER: Feels great, man. I just figured I’d play it safe and give myself an excuse to sit out.
SMOOT: What the fuck is going on?
The two veterans look at the rookie.
FOWLER: You don’t know about the training camp curse?
FOURNETTE: Curse?
SMITH: You see…
The driver of the flatbed golf car, unnoticed until now, leaps onto the ground.
Yes, it’s surprising that nobody noticed him until now. The figure pulls off his helmet, exposing a set of long, flowing, golden locks.
PAUL POSLUSZNY: There’s no fucking curse. That’s a bunch of made-up bullshit.
FOWLER: Oh, really. Then why the hell are you wearing that ridiculous armor?
PAUL POSLUSZNY: I’ve got an Expanded Universe event after practice.
SMITH: Oh, really? Okay, then, sure. You don’t think there’s a curse, I dare you to take that armor off.
PAUL POSLUSZNY: [demurs] I…
SMITH: Yeah, that’s what I thought. [turns to rookies] You see…
FOWLER: LOOK OUT!
The unattended golf cart, somehow operating of its own volition, plows into the pair of rookies.
SMOOT: OH GOD! OH GOD!
FOURNETTE: MY LEG!
FOWLER: SOMEBODY CALL A DOCTOR!
—
Today’s theme: Medical Attention. We’re talking hospitals, doctors, nurses, procedures, pharmaceuticals (not fun drugs; we’ll do those separately over the summer). Have at it! I’ll get us started with a band that made its bones doing the soundtrack to classic football story Friday Night Lights.
*Courtesy of KDFO’s research department, it turns out that Dawuane Smoot is not actually related to Fred Smoot.
I hate every ape I see, from chim-pan-A to chim-pan-Z
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2E1m90YSpA
Steal of the draft. Even if this isn’t a draft.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwSRxCCALBQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8twpQTna_9w
Life’s too short to even care at all…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAsTlnjvetI
Love these fucking guys.
solid, weird rock ‘n roll band
WOO Irvine represent.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oy625sZAHN8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZvFGEE26vE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YE26AbXAZ4
brb gonna draw the VH thing on my PeeChee.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOpSS46VezQ
Lux Interior…best stage name ever?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUejkJanuA0
This is not a single…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rt-7PsKeXw8
It’s a DOUBLE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cv2mjAgFTaI
these guys are fucking great
Their drummer is the best I’ve ever seen live. Dude is a MANIAC.
Their latest album I’m not a big fan of though, as they seem to have gotten rid of the guitar and replaced it entirely with a keytar or something.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTlS2UDWuww
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEf4iUtxCZw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w58E2S315a4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZcZ2ndsYI4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lpu-tDFKtII
This could get gnarly.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjbgYufpbKQ
Did someone request 80s cheese?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APyl6Cnbfzw
Yeah, so what?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYsMjEeEg4g
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6ssA9Uv26U
Zep – Sick Again
https://youtube.com/watch?v=lcEqU4Bmo64
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCTKhnwHS-I
I’M CALLING IT GOOD!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OubEgJ4oA8
/off topic, but I am getting completely lost in the multiple new tracks out by both The war on Drugs and Portugal. The Man right now. Really glorious, deep, perfect stuff.
The new War On Drugs is great (the group, not evil elf Sessions’ thing).
Hehehehehe…..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tbgv8PkO9eo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaEi0GtEgKI
DOUBLE SHOT that you won’t like:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhE7x_VS2xw
Oh hai guyz.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-YQUCP-J8s
DOUBLE SHAWT of QotSA is just what the doctor ordered.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHDaKtx6bGY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09LTT0xwdfw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwELajFteTo
This song is about
climate changebad deals for America.So my double shot was a reach?
It’s like you don’t even know me anymore.
I mean, this was just sitting RIGHT THERE.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9Qrvxa-n20
Haha….DAMMIT!!!!!!
I need vodka. Fuck food.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awT7haZno-s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wu1Z04XmodY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kt0Xuw02TMQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHP6U5vQ3mU
Double shot!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrOemQaEJGU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gia_YZqIIvA
I’m frightened that I’m on the same page as you right now.
Embrace it. Once you get past the shame, it’s pretty fucking fun to be me.
The badass Metric linked, inspired me. Here’s Princess Canadia, solo and live:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsPdTuywQX8
/amorous sigh
This band played quite possibly the best show I’ve ever been to.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0xt1QVsigc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=je5g93zbW1o
/shows self out
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOUtsybozjg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlW-r5BF-Oo
oh, I feel bad for not going here first. oh, and Emily sexy here chuh chuh
only for the nurse….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7l5ZeVVoCA&index=2&list=RDkrpm0v_486k
And yeah, Imma grab this one before anyone else thinks of it.
Now I need food. Later taters…..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=notKtAgfwDA
Holy hell…haven’t thought of April Wine in decades.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWAzlNe4j40
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVEURayJ1b4
NO!!!!!! Sacrilege
You leave Flo alone. Hers is always better.
http://33.media.tumblr.com/eb382e91157b88227476696ec716330c/tumblr_n25ga4D4Jg1qznm89o1_500.gif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5_eWPCB4p4
Double shot (the video is very medical-ish….sort of)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=308KpFZ4cT8
http://66.media.tumblr.com/d033b9b7f07d7ba34ef34cac4a2aad4c/tumblr_ofm2uocmZe1usrwq6o1_500.gif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8goKJebNlGk
Close enough. And yes, it’s Green Day.
Bite me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnTZa4FY_7I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoY6MmFOcjI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkHF_JMnB8o
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEcFkotqHg8
And all-time favourite #2:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyhkQzPLjcA
Hippo dranking hard early?
Damned YouTube kept giving me same link. Fixed now.
Hee hee. As long as YOU’RE ok.
LOL.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_Ksj7YmeDQ
And with this, the upcoming edition of DFO Radio’s greatness has been assured.
God-DAMN I love this song.
Ditto.
Hmmmmmmmm…….
Is it weird that this is the first thing that popped into my head?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wy8mEOhSk0s
Swish!