INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY.
A young woman in a smart suit and horn-rimmed glasses is bustling around a control board on the exterior of the booth, getting everything set up for the upcoming segment. Inside the booth, a large dark-haired young man is slumped over the desk. A PRODUCER holding a coffee mug approaches the exterior control booth and watches the young woman work for a few seconds. He then glances inside the recording booth and calmly takes a sip of his Sanka™.
PRODUCER: What’s he doing, taking a nap?
CORYNNE, THE UNDERPAID ASSISTANT: [busily flipping switches] He’s drunk.
PRODUCER: He can’t be drunk, it’s eleven o’clock in the morning.
CORYNNE: Well, he is. He tried to kiss me.
PRODUCER: [raises eyebrows]…and…?
CORYNNE: And what?
PRODUCER: …did you…?
CORYNNE: [scoffs] Ugh. No.
PRODUCER: Are you kidding? Half the women in New York would push you in front of the A train to get a chance to sit on his lap for two minutes.
CORYNNE: He smells like a Crown Royal distillery.
PRODUCER: Well, you’d better wake him up. We’ll be on the air in two minutes.
CORYNNE: Do you have a broom I can poke him with or something?
— [consciousness flies open] —
JOE NAMATH: Whazzissaathhmmmm?
PRODUCER: [via the talkback microphone] Joe? JOE.
JOE NAMATH: [groggily] Who said that?
PRODUCER: Over here, Joe.
JOE NAMATH: [blinks his bleary eyes, spots the PRODUCER] Oh, hey, Doc.
PRODUCER: Actually, Joe, I’m a radio producer. You with us?
JOE NAMATH: Sure, sure. I got my bell rung pretty good at practice yesterday, that’s all. Forgot that Doc Parnell already checked me out and said I’m fine.
PRODUCER: That was yesterday?
JOE NAMATH: [takes a flask out of his breast pocket] I think so. Head still hurt this morning, so I figured I should medicate a li’l bit, you know? [knocks back a belt]
PRODUCER: Okay…
JOE NAMATH: So whazza game plan, coach?
PRODUCER: So this show is something new the station is trying out. It’s called “Request Line”. We’re going to take phone calls out here, and feed them in to you in the booth, and then you’ll take requests from the callers and we’ll play the records for them. So all you’ve got to do is chat with the listeners a little bit and we’ll…
As the PRODUCER has been speaking, JOE NAMATH’s eyes have gotten more heavy-lidded and he starts to fade.
PRODUCER: …take care of the rest. Joe? JOE.
JOE NAMATH: [eyes blink open for a fraction of a second] Just gotta get…some…
PRODUCER: We just need a theme for the week’s songs. Joe? You got a theme for us?
JOE NAMATH: …sleep…
—
Okay, you heard Broadway Joe, folks! This week’s theme is songs about SLEEP! I’ll get us started with a DOUBLE SHOT from the Beatles.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1GqObeTYAY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoNtIkRm1HE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yX3wsQasTD0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzL4X8EIWks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4pqqzFWedc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOZKz_sPM6U
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNZbP3ZVem4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2V_Dx2UfE9Y
I might be back later to clean up the rest of the mess you’ve all made re: “sleep”.
smgdh
😉
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOnv8lXDzhg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2RGu1v5388
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1-hDP0Mdgw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_I4wtNPv5w
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9gKyRmic20
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yam5uK6e-bQ
I scrolled back first, tho admittedly I might have missed this if it was posted already.
Assuming I’m correct tho, you should all be shot…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-aK6JnyFmk
This is more like it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUlTtxufQes
Molly Hatchet drop?
Molly Hatchet drop!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTZHHQplIX8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVHAQX5sSaU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZSpIHCzkdw
Surprised this one is still around.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrO9ovdJ5WA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sSwCqwCzQo
And why not double it up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1u4qkVKjfY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xpAqxH2Kzw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZKuzwPOefs
Fun game here is to guess what percentage of their body is heroin at this point.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjA9Po6cKMM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZyhS5beQc8
How’d we miss this one earlier?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNq9gmY_Oz4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJITRDBEbp4
One of my favorite Scientologists.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-COVcMZL8E
What’s the rest of the list? Leah Remini and no one else?
Current ones? Yeah, it’s not a very long list.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xA0O6gHA55Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=939rmCw87no
Music to get really baked to (see also: any music)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cu0jXE_Tc4E
A song about a nightlight counts, right? If sung from the point of view of said nightlight?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhjSzjoU7OQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JmGMzyajA2U
I think I grabbed a late round steal-John Lennon’s “Beautiful Boy”.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_j-tpmdPlI
“I feel like John really got me.”
– Jerry Sandusky
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNAkbbKycCM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gENaSsECqyM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvnQlv_zLqg
Making it a DOUBLE.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0i2G0Rip5M
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6TmogXhOZ8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8OR-nIqEzw
Just how does one actually get to sleep? Go West explains…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4FtrKfZ0Lo
/no, you’re not getting an apology