Your “My Buns Have No Seeds” Monday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Ravens owner Steve Biscotti (pictured right) reached out to people like Ray Lewis to garner possible reactions to the potential signing of Colin Kaepernick.
    • Because Ray Lewis might’ve helped kill a guy, but Ravens fans DO NOT FORGIVE taking a knee during a ceremonial part of a sporting contest.
  • Branden Albert decided he’d rather retire than play for the Jaguars.
  • Seahawks rookie Malik McDowell injured himself on an ATV, in the time between rookie camp and main camp, and is absent from training camp.
    • Estimates about the seriousness of the injury & expected absence from camp range from a couple of weeks to the whole season.
He should’ve just hung around the family business.
  • This should be interesting: the Chargers are hard-balling Philip Rivers & Antonio Gates, saying practice should come before attending ceremonial events like LaDanian Tomlinson’s Hall of Fame enshrinement ceremony.
    • We all know Marmalard’s a good company man, but Gates is being rumoured as willing to go, because he figures the Chargers won’t punish him due to his stature.
  • Looks like someone is up for the Jim Irsay challenge: John Bowlen caught himself a DUI in California.
    • He was observed doing 100 mph & passing cars on the median, and blew over 0.08 on the field test.
      • Police turned his puppy – named Duke (of course) – over to animal control.
    • He even pulled the “do you know who I am” card:

After the Jeep passed a patrol car, the officer pulled the speeding driver over. The trooper noticed an open container of alcohol in the SUV. The man who lives near Redondo Beach kept telling officers “who his dad was.”

“He wasn’t cooperative. He did make it clear several times that he was the son of Denver Broncos owner Pat Bowlen. It didn’t help. We arrested him just like any other citizen. He got no preferential treatment,” said Sgt. Tim Neumann, spokesman for the California Highway Patrol.

Finally, fresh of last week’s ball fondling of the Patriots by the MMQB & chief fluffer Peter King, comes ESPN‘s entry into the Patriots soft coverage with ruminations on how likely it is (hint: QUITE!) that the Pats might finally go 19-0.


Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB:
    • Indians at Red Sox – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN
    • Blue Jays at White Sox – 8:00Pm | Sportsnet
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

Today was the MLB trade deadline; were deals afoot? I dunno. NOT FOOTBALL; NO LIVEBLOG!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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blaxabbaththeeWeeBabySeamusMr. AyoBrockyRomonobyl Recent comment authors
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theeWeeBabySeamus

They’re thoroughly alright and decent fellas.

Brocky

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

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Romonobyl

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Romonobyl

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Romonobyl

Fuck it.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Wow. It took off without catching on fire or slamming back to the earth.

Brocky
Brocky
Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I’ve known Ben Ray. He is a failson.

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Romonobyl

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Brocky
Brocky

attempt #2

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Snake Wranglers Just Off Screen: Please don’t kill her, please don’t kill her, please don’t ki….oh dammit don’t stick your tail in there now we’re gonna have to disinfect you!!!!!!!!!!!

Romonobyl

Maybe the snake was escaping?

Romonobyl

I mean, sure it’s a big snake, but years ago I used to date this girl who could easily…
never mind.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE HE’S DEAD
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theeWeeBabySeamus

/might have said those exact words a time or twelve the past coupla days

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

/HIGH FIVE

theeWeeBabySeamus

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

this is great until someone lures Trump into a war by emailing as an obviously fake Kim Jong Un

I disagree with Ape. This is the only just and proper way to bring about the apocalypse—as stupidly as was humanly possible.

WCS

How panicked to White House aides get whenever the @DPRK_News tweets something, hoping Drumpf doesn’t see it?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

He is normally on the toilet first

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

People from Indiana are known as Hoosiers, and have been since the 70s, when Bobby was coaching at IU and women all over campus would nervously scream “Who’s here?!?!?” every time they heard a door open, worried it might be Knight. It was shortened to “Hoosier” after Coach Knight caught on to what they were up to and the women needed a half second more of a head start to run from him.

*Source: Wikipedia*

Sometimes Deadspin’s commenters can still hustle.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

A Season on the Brink (of Multiple Sexual Assault Allegations)

Brocky

sigh, do i bother defending bobby or do I contextualize the time he was coaching in?…..

remembers political endorsements

yeah fuck bobby knight. me and my dad had my grandpa’s old poster of him in our den, celebrating the 76 season. we took that shit down this year.

WCS

Brocky

I can’t even enjoy this ironically anymore.

Its different than with Ditka. Ditka was just fun to imagine him being far more admirable than he actually is.

Bobby Knight was the kinda coach over the top frat bros would have actually loved.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

@wcs If I had to pick an overplayed song it is Jeremy

Romonobyl

My fave is Elderly Lady Behind a Counter blah blah blah…
Best use of Vedder’s vocal range.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sadly, no one wants to hear about my penis anymore, so I can’t make the joke here I’d like to make.

Romonobyl

It will always have you as a friend.

WCS

If we’re talking overplayed songs in general, “Shook Me All Night Long,” “American Girl,” “Under the Bridge,” and “Dream On” are on the Mt. Rushmore.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I will fight you on Under the Bridge. I LOVE THAT SONG

theeWeeBabySeamus

Great song which got so overplayed one couldn’t help but come to hate it.

WCS

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Brocky
Romonobyl

I think the Mrs. has the same opinion of my penis.

Romonobyl

Billy Ray Cyrus would like a word with you.

WCS

Country “music” since 1990 and on doesn’t count as actual music.

Romonobyl

Good call.

Romonobyl

Looks like this administration is finally ready for Broadway. Look out Hamilton!!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

WCS

Coming soon to a major US city near you!

Romonobyl

Fuck that prepper shit, put me at ground zero.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Not trying to win a banner, just was up next

WCS
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

“Amateur. I bet he didna e’en fuck it first.”
— D. Cameron

blaxabbath

How will dfo present kaep this season? FBI informant? International mercenary? International missionary?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Court jester

Senor Weaselo

The Rigoletto type?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Sure.

(Nerd)

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Covert Marxist

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Agent 00Storm

ballsofsteelandfury

Unemployed hobo buddy o’Tomsula.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Tomsula’s lookout/grift accomplice

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Gunslinger wandering the desolate west unable to get work despite everyone being short gunmen.

blaxabbath

Goddamnitfuckthepatriots

ballsofsteelandfury

BANNER!

WCS

Seconded.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Thirded

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Quattro

Senor Weaselo

n+1‘d!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well, if everyone else is….

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I started thinking about the Super Bowl while I was driving the other day. I got so angry I almost had to pull over to calm down.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Just two more times and Batman can have a proper drink.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

WCS

Pearl Jam is my favorite band. I’ve seen them at least ten times. I hate this goddamn song.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

My friend had all the 100 fucking cds from all their shows.He made me listen to them all. I love and hate so much of Pearl Jam

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I like “Black” fine but I’m tired of it. The one I hate is “Last Kiss”. I hate it about as much as I hate any Lenny Kravitz song.

Oh! When I was in high school a girl did Black as a solo in a choir concert. My friend was her guitarist. She missed her cue at the beginning, so he cycled through back to that point, and she missed it again. Then she dashed offstage in tears. He stopped playing, put his guitar away, then went back to his regular place in the choir and we went on with the concert as though nothing had happened.

theeWeeBabySeamus

NAILED IT!!!!!
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theeWeeBabySeamus

In my younger days, a young lady I was involved with told me this song reminded her of me. At the time, I didn’t understand why. The older and more insane I become, the more I get it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Meh, coulda been worse.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

theeWeeBabySeamus

Homemade chili cheese fries.
tWBS’ coronary arteries one step closer to revolt. Check.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

You didn’t offer to share, so I just went to more music.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

theeWeeBabySeamus

The little giggle at the end gives me wood every time.
/waits for the WHAT DOESN’T GIVE YOU WOOD? jokes
//doesn’t care, can still get wood, so fuck you

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

Branden Albert decided he’d rather retire than play for the Jaguars.

note to self…. i have a team preview I need to work on..

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Good luck.

Romonobyl

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Brocky

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Green buttplug boy is really gonna regret missing that one.

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s that me?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Ummmmmm…..no?
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Brocky

there’s a few ways I could interpret that line,

and they are all in bad taste

theeWeeBabySeamus

Look at balls’ avatar, now with the added green member.
Hehehe, that’s funny too actually.

All credit goes the Moose for the observation, but I just can’t quit laughing about it even several days later.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I was told by our president that we could just grab whatever boobs we wanted to… I am gonna become a democrat.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I love Amy Lee, don’t get me wrong.
But this is the look of a murder/suicide about to happen.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think it’s just murderin’

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Tiny and crazy. I’ll roll the dice.

blackroseMD1
blackroseMD1

I’d let her “praying mantis” me.

I mean, if you’re gonna go anyway…

Romonobyl

That’s why I won’t call her when I’m sober.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

My mom and my dad both ask for IT help every single day but never listen to anything I say at all. My dad kind of did with his new machine. I am still dealing with my mother not backing up a file for 5 years even though I set it up she wouldn’t have to do anything, also bought her an external HDD to back up on.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I can totally relate. Ugh.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Batman can’t.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Apparently, this was taken in my neighborhood. I should walk off dinner, but maybe I’ll just wait until tomorrow when I will be a volunteering a couple blocks away and the light will be facing this instead of against me.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

The guy next to me at the bar ended up at a gay bar earlier tonight on his long time girlfriend or wife’s recommendation without realizing it and hilariously will not let it go. I think he kinda enjoyed it.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

This song will never grow old.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I NOLA first time I’d been there; it was a straight bar, but apparently not on karaoke night…. I was looking around thinking “What a fucking sausage fest” The bartender says “You want this to go, right?” That was one of the best/ strongest hurricanes I’ve ever had. Later was the first night on Bourbon street.

theeWeeBabySeamus

…ended up at a gay bar earlier tonight….kinda enjoyed it.

Creative editing, ftw.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Quit reading into partial comments with your own feelings.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Damn, I got nothing for that.
Nicely done.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Gotta go eat, see ya’s later.
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Anyway, I just wanted to break up the Alice Eve jerkfest for a second, but I’m sticking with English women. I read that Captain Marvel is going to be set in the 1990s, and someone on some site said that this means Hayley Atwell could come back as older but whatever the matter come back as Peggy Carter when she ran SHIELD.

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I loved that casting and show. I want her back

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I agree.

I was just thinking that there’s apparently some understanding that the Marvel movie and TV casts will never interact even though TV constantly references the movies, and that one of the best and most interesting relationships in Daredevil’s history was when he hooked up with Black Widow. The book was even titled Daredevil & Black Widow for a while in the 70s or 80s.

Anyway, Scarlett Johannson is pretty obviously never going to be on the Daredevil series, but there’s already another Red Room operative in the TV universe: Dottie. Since Black Widow joined up with Daredevil during that whole phase where she began as a villain who became a hero, wouldn’t it stand to reason that Dottie could come back and fill that role?

Basically, I’m saying I need more of this in my life:

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Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Interestingly, I believe Scarlett Johannson was a terrible casting choice as Black Widow.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Cate Blanchett looks so much like Emily Blunt in the Ragnarok trailers I keep forgetting it’s her. She was supposed to be Black Widow but then had to go and get pregnant and couldn’t be in Iron Man 2. Anyway, yeah, ScarJo isn’t the best choice. To be honest, I don’t really care for most of the casting choices.