Your “My Buns Have No Seeds” Monday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Ravens owner Steve Biscotti (pictured right) reached out to people like Ray Lewis to garner possible reactions to the potential signing of Colin Kaepernick.
    • Because Ray Lewis might’ve helped kill a guy, but Ravens fans DO NOT FORGIVE taking a knee during a ceremonial part of a sporting contest.
  • Branden Albert decided he’d rather retire than play for the Jaguars.
  • Seahawks rookie Malik McDowell injured himself on an ATV, in the time between rookie camp and main camp, and is absent from training camp.
    • Estimates about the seriousness of the injury & expected absence from camp range from a couple of weeks to the whole season.
He should’ve just hung around the family business.
  • This should be interesting: the Chargers are hard-balling Philip Rivers & Antonio Gates, saying practice should come before attending ceremonial events like LaDanian Tomlinson’s Hall of Fame enshrinement ceremony.
    • We all know Marmalard’s a good company man, but Gates is being rumoured as willing to go, because he figures the Chargers won’t punish him due to his stature.
  • Looks like someone is up for the Jim Irsay challenge: John Bowlen caught himself a DUI in California.
    • He was observed doing 100 mph & passing cars on the median, and blew over 0.08 on the field test.
      • Police turned his puppy – named Duke (of course) – over to animal control.
    • He even pulled the “do you know who I am” card:

After the Jeep passed a patrol car, the officer pulled the speeding driver over. The trooper noticed an open container of alcohol in the SUV. The man who lives near Redondo Beach kept telling officers “who his dad was.”

“He wasn’t cooperative. He did make it clear several times that he was the son of Denver Broncos owner Pat Bowlen. It didn’t help. We arrested him just like any other citizen. He got no preferential treatment,” said Sgt. Tim Neumann, spokesman for the California Highway Patrol.

Finally, fresh of last week’s ball fondling of the Patriots by the MMQB & chief fluffer Peter King, comes ESPN‘s entry into the Patriots soft coverage with ruminations on how likely it is (hint: QUITE!) that the Pats might finally go 19-0.


Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB:
    • Indians at Red Sox – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN
    • Blue Jays at White Sox – 8:00Pm | Sportsnet
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

Today was the MLB trade deadline; were deals afoot? I dunno. NOT FOOTBALL; NO LIVEBLOG!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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theeWeeBabySeamus
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They’re thoroughly alright and decent fellas.

Brocky
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Mr. Ayo
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Mr. Ayo

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Romonobyl
Member

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Romonobyl
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Romonobyl
Member

Fuck it.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Wow. It took off without catching on fire or slamming back to the earth.

Brocky
Member
Brocky
Member
Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

I’ve known Ben Ray. He is a failson.

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Romonobyl
Member

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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

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Brocky
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Brocky
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attempt #2

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Snake Wranglers Just Off Screen: Please don’t kill her, please don’t kill her, please don’t ki….oh dammit don’t stick your tail in there now we’re gonna have to disinfect you!!!!!!!!!!!

Romonobyl
Member

Maybe the snake was escaping?

Romonobyl
Member

I mean, sure it’s a big snake, but years ago I used to date this girl who could easily…
never mind.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE HE’S DEAD
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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

/might have said those exact words a time or twelve the past coupla days

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

/HIGH FIVE

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

this is great until someone lures Trump into a war by emailing as an obviously fake Kim Jong Un

I disagree with Ape. This is the only just and proper way to bring about the apocalypse—as stupidly as was humanly possible.

WCS
Member

How panicked to White House aides get whenever the @DPRK_News tweets something, hoping Drumpf doesn’t see it?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

He is normally on the toilet first

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

People from Indiana are known as Hoosiers, and have been since the 70s, when Bobby was coaching at IU and women all over campus would nervously scream “Who’s here?!?!?” every time they heard a door open, worried it might be Knight. It was shortened to “Hoosier” after Coach Knight caught on to what they were up to and the women needed a half second more of a head start to run from him.

*Source: Wikipedia*

Sometimes Deadspin’s commenters can still hustle.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

A Season on the Brink (of Multiple Sexual Assault Allegations)

Brocky
Member

sigh, do i bother defending bobby or do I contextualize the time he was coaching in?…..

remembers political endorsements

yeah fuck bobby knight. me and my dad had my grandpa’s old poster of him in our den, celebrating the 76 season. we took that shit down this year.

WCS
Member

Brocky
Member

I can’t even enjoy this ironically anymore.

Its different than with Ditka. Ditka was just fun to imagine him being far more admirable than he actually is.

Bobby Knight was the kinda coach over the top frat bros would have actually loved.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

@wcs If I had to pick an overplayed song it is Jeremy

Romonobyl
Member

My fave is Elderly Lady Behind a Counter blah blah blah…
Best use of Vedder’s vocal range.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Sadly, no one wants to hear about my penis anymore, so I can’t make the joke here I’d like to make.

Romonobyl
Member

It will always have you as a friend.

WCS
Member

If we’re talking overplayed songs in general, “Shook Me All Night Long,” “American Girl,” “Under the Bridge,” and “Dream On” are on the Mt. Rushmore.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I will fight you on Under the Bridge. I LOVE THAT SONG

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Great song which got so overplayed one couldn’t help but come to hate it.

WCS
Member

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Romonobyl
Member

I think the Mrs. has the same opinion of my penis.

Romonobyl
Member

Billy Ray Cyrus would like a word with you.

WCS
Member

Country “music” since 1990 and on doesn’t count as actual music.

Romonobyl
Member

Good call.

Romonobyl
Member

Looks like this administration is finally ready for Broadway. Look out Hamilton!!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

WCS
Member

Coming soon to a major US city near you!

Romonobyl
Member

Fuck that prepper shit, put me at ground zero.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Not trying to win a banner, just was up next

WCS
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

“Amateur. I bet he didna e’en fuck it first.”
— D. Cameron

blaxabbath
Member

How will dfo present kaep this season? FBI informant? International mercenary? International missionary?

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Court jester

Senor Weaselo
Member

The Rigoletto type?

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Sure.

(Nerd)

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

Covert Marxist

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

Agent 00Storm

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

Unemployed hobo buddy o’Tomsula.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Tomsula’s lookout/grift accomplice

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Gunslinger wandering the desolate west unable to get work despite everyone being short gunmen.

blaxabbath
Member

Goddamnitfuckthepatriots

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

BANNER!

WCS
Member

Seconded.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Thirded

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

Quattro

Senor Weaselo
Member

n+1‘d!

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Well, if everyone else is….

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

I started thinking about the Super Bowl while I was driving the other day. I got so angry I almost had to pull over to calm down.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Just two more times and Batman can have a proper drink.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

WCS
Member

Pearl Jam is my favorite band. I’ve seen them at least ten times. I hate this goddamn song.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

My friend had all the 100 fucking cds from all their shows.He made me listen to them all. I love and hate so much of Pearl Jam

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

I like “Black” fine but I’m tired of it. The one I hate is “Last Kiss”. I hate it about as much as I hate any Lenny Kravitz song.

Oh! When I was in high school a girl did Black as a solo in a choir concert. My friend was her guitarist. She missed her cue at the beginning, so he cycled through back to that point, and she missed it again. Then she dashed offstage in tears. He stopped playing, put his guitar away, then went back to his regular place in the choir and we went on with the concert as though nothing had happened.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

NAILED IT!!!!!
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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

In my younger days, a young lady I was involved with told me this song reminded her of me. At the time, I didn’t understand why. The older and more insane I become, the more I get it.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Meh, coulda been worse.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Homemade chili cheese fries.
tWBS’ coronary arteries one step closer to revolt. Check.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

You didn’t offer to share, so I just went to more music.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

The little giggle at the end gives me wood every time.
/waits for the WHAT DOESN’T GIVE YOU WOOD? jokes
//doesn’t care, can still get wood, so fuck you

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky
Member

Branden Albert decided he’d rather retire than play for the Jaguars.

note to self…. i have a team preview I need to work on..

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Good luck.

Romonobyl
Member

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Brocky
Member

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Green buttplug boy is really gonna regret missing that one.

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

It’s that me?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Ummmmmm…..no?
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Brocky
Member

there’s a few ways I could interpret that line,

and they are all in bad taste

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Look at balls’ avatar, now with the added green member.
Hehehe, that’s funny too actually.

All credit goes the Moose for the observation, but I just can’t quit laughing about it even several days later.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I was told by our president that we could just grab whatever boobs we wanted to… I am gonna become a democrat.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I love Amy Lee, don’t get me wrong.
But this is the look of a murder/suicide about to happen.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think it’s just murderin’

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Tiny and crazy. I’ll roll the dice.

blackroseMD1
Member
blackroseMD1

I’d let her “praying mantis” me.

I mean, if you’re gonna go anyway…

Romonobyl
Member

That’s why I won’t call her when I’m sober.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

My mom and my dad both ask for IT help every single day but never listen to anything I say at all. My dad kind of did with his new machine. I am still dealing with my mother not backing up a file for 5 years even though I set it up she wouldn’t have to do anything, also bought her an external HDD to back up on.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I can totally relate. Ugh.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Batman can’t.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Apparently, this was taken in my neighborhood. I should walk off dinner, but maybe I’ll just wait until tomorrow when I will be a volunteering a couple blocks away and the light will be facing this instead of against me.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Member

The guy next to me at the bar ended up at a gay bar earlier tonight on his long time girlfriend or wife’s recommendation without realizing it and hilariously will not let it go. I think he kinda enjoyed it.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

This song will never grow old.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I NOLA first time I’d been there; it was a straight bar, but apparently not on karaoke night…. I was looking around thinking “What a fucking sausage fest” The bartender says “You want this to go, right?” That was one of the best/ strongest hurricanes I’ve ever had. Later was the first night on Bourbon street.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

…ended up at a gay bar earlier tonight….kinda enjoyed it.

Creative editing, ftw.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Quit reading into partial comments with your own feelings.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Damn, I got nothing for that.
Nicely done.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Gotta go eat, see ya’s later.
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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Anyway, I just wanted to break up the Alice Eve jerkfest for a second, but I’m sticking with English women. I read that Captain Marvel is going to be set in the 1990s, and someone on some site said that this means Hayley Atwell could come back as older but whatever the matter come back as Peggy Carter when she ran SHIELD.

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I loved that casting and show. I want her back

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I agree.

I was just thinking that there’s apparently some understanding that the Marvel movie and TV casts will never interact even though TV constantly references the movies, and that one of the best and most interesting relationships in Daredevil’s history was when he hooked up with Black Widow. The book was even titled Daredevil & Black Widow for a while in the 70s or 80s.

Anyway, Scarlett Johannson is pretty obviously never going to be on the Daredevil series, but there’s already another Red Room operative in the TV universe: Dottie. Since Black Widow joined up with Daredevil during that whole phase where she began as a villain who became a hero, wouldn’t it stand to reason that Dottie could come back and fill that role?

Basically, I’m saying I need more of this in my life:

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Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Interestingly, I believe Scarlett Johannson was a terrible casting choice as Black Widow.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Cate Blanchett looks so much like Emily Blunt in the Ragnarok trailers I keep forgetting it’s her. She was supposed to be Black Widow but then had to go and get pregnant and couldn’t be in Iron Man 2. Anyway, yeah, ScarJo isn’t the best choice. To be honest, I don’t really care for most of the casting choices.

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