[DOOR FLIES OPEN]

"This site goes down so often we oughta change the name to “Dating Nancy Reagan”" – Horatio

Log In

Your “You’ve Worked Like Heck To Get The Week In Check” Saturday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

/

, ,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=to3y3cmWWRY

I hope you got outside, and it was nice where you live.

Rain is forecast for Vancouver tonight and into Sunday, and none of us can fucking wait. This goddamned smoke is killing the summer. The last few days have been humid as fuck, and the reflective properties of the smoke that was beneficial in keeping the temperature down is now killing us because the moisture can’t leave the surface, so the humidex is telling us we are now getting no benefit from fires that are cumulatively the size of either PEI or Delaware.

Plus, everyone I meet sounds like Jon Lovitz’s imitation of Harvey Fierstein.

Game Preview: Cowboys at Rams

You can tell the difference in the two teams perceived fortunes by reading their respective fan blogs. Blogging The Boys is all about the Cowboys simply determining positions to be filled or requiring effective backup for what talent they already have. Y’know, what you expect from a Cowboys fan site now that they’ve had a couple of winning seasons in a row.

Meanwhile, Turf Show Times has a slightly less-optimistic outlook on the Rams upcoming season:

So, it seems safe to say that tonight’s contest will not so much be a feeling-out process for teams looking to evaluate talent, but a match between one team pretty much ready to go and another team looking to figure out how to make 7-9 a functional reality without the master at the helm.

Suck my 7-9 inch dick!

Tonight’s sports:

  • NFL:
    • Cowboys at Rams – 9:00PM | NFL Network
  • CFL:
    • Blue Bombers vs. Tiger-Cats – 7:30PM | TSN
  • Baseball:
    • Little League Baseball:
      • West Regional final – 9:00 PM | ESPN
  • MLS:
    • New England vs. Whitecaps FC – 8:00PM | TSN2
    • LA Galaxy vs. New York City FC – 11:00 PM | ESPN2
0 0 votes
Article Rating
Tags:

Leave a Reply

Subscribe
Notify of
358 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Unsurprised

I had a good night and I am not about to let it be ruined by reality and the fact that there is nothing I can do or should do to fix it because I have my own shit that I’m not even taking care of to worry about first. So here’s another picture of the model someone posted a photo of earlier (Her name is Nadia Moore Ali) and anyway, fuck everything.

comment image

0
Unsurprised

I see the world has continued to slide towards the gaping maw of oblivion.

0
Brick Meathook

comment image

6
laserguru

Since we’ve crossed the DFO time line and since I’m hammered let’s just go ahead and post Sunday Gravy early.

Don’t feel compelled to rush off!

It will be there in the morning.

Carry on!

4
Beastmode Ate My Baby

You’ve broken the time-space continuum!!!

comment image

2
the Alpha and the Amoeba

That fool! He’ll awaken the Meeping Angels!
comment image

3
Beerguyrob

It’s worth it for Orange Chicken.

1
Brick Meathook

comment image

1
Beastmode Ate My Baby

Another Newfie story:

We got Lucky after he was already grown & older. We had no idea how he would be with our cats, so a friend let us borrow her indoor kennel for awhile. He turned out to be kennel-trained, which was great. What was even funnier, though, was that one of our cats, a grey ball of fluff who knows just how pretty he is, took to the kennel as well. He would happily settle into the middle of it and sleep…this little 10-pound cat in a big-ass kennel. So when the Newfie wanted to go to bed, sometimes the cat would already be there, and he’d get that uncertain look and come over to us, then go back to the cage and watch the cat. There was no way he was going to go in there and scare the cat, so he’d just wait.

0
the Alpha and the Amoeba

That is adorable! Have a story in return:

Our newfie, like many, got nervous when we would go swimming or boating. One time, we were at my Grandmother’s cottage, and my mother took the canoe out by herself. While no one was watching her, our newfie swam out after the canoe. When my mother realized she was being followed, she stopped paddling, and let Pippin catch up to her. She decided to toss the bow line overboard and see what Pippin did with it. Now, my parents had trained Pippin to ride in a canoe without tipping it over, but that was the extent of her aquatic training. Nevertheless, on her own initiative, Pippin grabbed the bow line, towed the canoe back to shore, and then got up on the shore and dragged the canoe so it was partially beached. It’s amazing what instinct can do.

1
Beastmode Ate My Baby

Ours, for reasons we never knew, didn’t like the water. We took him to the river and figured he’d have a good ol’ time, but he was all NOAP! He had no interest in it at all.

0
Big Black Richard

I saw “another Newfie story,” and I thought it was going to be a tale about a guy who works in the tar sands all day and drinks Screech all night.

3
laserguru

I’ve seen a lot of really cool bands this year. A lot!

This was perfect for San Bernardino in the summer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGmruOmX3xI

1
Beastmode Ate My Baby

comment image

1
the Alpha and the Amoeba

comment image

3
Beerguyrob

It is time for the most Canadian of snacks:

comment image

0
Brick Meathook

comment image

4
the Alpha and the Amoeba

Needs more clickbait. How about “Two shots during Tim Hortons breakin”

1
laserguru

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWOFtixfies

0
Brick Meathook

comment image

2
laserguru

Still, that’s a sexy fucking car.

1
the Alpha and the Amoeba

Yeah, right; that’s why it knocked those people off their feet

2
laserguru

comment image

3
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Yep, we’re good. Yes, everything is FINE.

3
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

3
Brocky

Weird sequence of events today:

Old friend from out of town calls, says a mutual friend is driving in the adjacent county fair demolition derby.

Go to fair, have the pitstop access, stand ten feet from deep contest, get sprayed with a lot of mud. Friend doesn’t win his trial, walk around fair, realize adjacent county isn’t nearly as rednecky as mine

Go to a local bar, upscale enough to scare off rednecks, low scale enought to not attract hipsters. None the less, every one orders beer from local brewery, they run out, customers raise enough of a stink that a bar employeegoes across town to get more.

Juke box selection is random as fuck. Jim croce, Linkin park, beyonce, toto, and incubushe

Luke Bryan comes on, friend starts line dancing, a bunch of people jump in, are all line dances really that similar.

More friends showup, push 4 tables together. Other people at bar complain about lack of seating. We gload over our table empire. People get in a heated debate over politics and dr. Who. Guy joking pills out pocketknife. I pull out 1.5 inch knife that I carry for the sole purpose of cutting tape. It’s apparently the funniest fucking thing ever.

One friend leaves, I commandeer their seat as a footstool. Aparently that violates some sort of protocol. My feet are still up.

Not sure where i was going with this

1
Beastmode Ate My Baby

That’s about as coherent as any given episode of HRTN.

3
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

2
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

0
laserguru

Remember to get your credit card from the bartender, kiss the hottest girl there and then uber home and jerk off.

Success!

And NO jail time!.

Bonus!

1
Brocky

kiss the hottest girl there and then uber home and jerk off.

Attractive bartender is wearing a shirt that says: “sorry i was late, I was masterbaiting”

0
Beastmode Ate My Baby

Just checking out what’s going on in the world…

comment image

3
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

2
the Alpha and the Amoeba

Newfie being a big, doofy fuzzball

https://youtu.be/IANi998cJSU?t=10

1
I Will Dye Blonde

It would take too much energy to escape.

2
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

WOOOOOOPS!

Shoulda labeled NSFW!

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

1
the Alpha and the Amoeba

Dat stack doe

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

BACK IT THE FUCK UP!! BOOOOOP, BOOOOP!

0
the Alpha and the Amoeba

I just want to spread my syrup and cream all over it, and then break out the strawberries

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

0
Brick Meathook

comment image

2
the Alpha and the Amoeba

That could have gone so much worse

0
laserguru

One of you all motherfuckers must have said my name 3 times.

1
Brocky

Yeah, seamus was bragging about his sexual conquests, we all say the expected phrase

2
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

0
herodotus450

Yeah, right, you probably think this comment is about you

2
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

1
Wakezilla

Jesus. I didn’t realize how much I have had to drink until I walked to the store and ordered food. That was an adventure.

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

5
the Alpha and the Amoeba

To prevent myself from boring you all with Newfie stories, I’m rereading some of the Wade and Jerry series. Close to ten years later and it still has some gems:

Marion Barber III: TANK WILLIAMS DON’T PLAY FOR SHIT! MOTHERFUCKER BRINGS GI JOE DOLLS INTO THE HUDDLE!

2
Brick Meathook

Newfie stories?

1
the Alpha and the Amoeba

Stories about Newfoundland dogs, not people from Newfoundland.

1
Beastmode Ate My Baby

comment image

3
Brick Meathook

i just read below. now i get it.

1
Beastmode Ate My Baby

comment image

2
I Will Dye Blonde

Newfie!

1
Beastmode Ate My Baby

I blame you guys for this.

1
laserguru

Oh man, BeerGuyRob I wish you could be in LA right now.

Marine layer on the beach. High of 74 today. Offshore breeze.

No unintended smoke for miles.

Beautiful fucking day.

Hey cool kids and hep cats!

The fucks going on!

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Don’t read down.

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

3
Beerguyrob

Mom is flying up from Palm Springs Monday, so I expect to hear all aboot it.

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

1
Horatio Cornblower

In these days of uncertainty and tension I have to say the most frightening thing is John Travolta’s hairpiece and facial reconstruction.

2
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

0
JerBear50

Hair piece < Side piece

0
the Alpha and the Amoeba

Side piece < Side arm

0
Beastmode Ate My Baby

Side arm < Side car

2
laserguru

Pimp side > weak side.

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Side car < side boob

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

0
herodotus450

comment image

0
the Alpha and the Amoeba

comment image

5
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Awwwwww, i miss our newfies

3
the Alpha and the Amoeba

It’s been damn near 20 years, but I still miss our newfie too.

2
Horatio Cornblower

Newfies will never not be awesome.

3
Beastmode Ate My Baby

I’m trying to avoid getting another Newfie. You are not helping.

1
the Alpha and the Amoeba

Do it, so I can live vicariously through you. It’s the right thing to do!

1
Beastmode Ate My Baby

Even our cats loved him. Big, stupid, lovable oaf.

1
the Alpha and the Amoeba

Ours was so attached to my mom, that she refused to hike ahead with my dad as he carried our stuff to the campsite while my mom stayed back with us kids (going at a much slower pace). This was a problem because she was carrying/pulling some of our gear. So my mom had her “stay” then hiked ahead on the trail until she was out of sight, then went off the trail. Pippin (our newf) was then eager to hike as fast as my dad would go in an attempt to catch up to her. I think that she eventually figured out something was up, but she wasn’t sure what so she just kept going.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Do it pussy. I dare you. You won’t.

/may be drunk

4
Beastmode Ate My Baby

Man, he adored IWDB. Sometimes he’d get left out in the rain when we were out shopping or whatever…he would be so pissed at her. Not me…he’d sit next to me, with his back to her, and look back at her over his shoulder every couple of minutes. Like, “I’m mad at you! You know that, right?”

1
the Alpha and the Amoeba

They do seem to have their favorites, see the little story I wrote above about ours for another example.

1
I Will Dye Blonde

So cute!

1
herodotus450

Northwest Ohio, the hotbed of national socialism appartently
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2005_Toledo_riot

0
the Alpha and the Amoeba

Desolate areas breed extremism. In NW Ohio, you’re right near Toledo and you don’t have many great options. Go East, you’re in Cleveland. Go North, you’re in Detroit. Go south, you’re in Cincinnati. Go West, you’re in Indiana.

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Extremism has a happy home anywhere humans are located.

1
the Alpha and the Amoeba

I am aware; I was just taking the opportunity to rag on OH & IN

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

And they do deserve the rag…. keep on ragging.

0
herodotus450

Also lots of Germans. And Arabs. And rocket factories. And riots apparently:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Auto-Lite_strike

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

2
Beastmode Ate My Baby

Tea Pain is good fun.

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

4
herodotus450

comment image

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Lesson of the night: strangers at the bar love it when you bring a penis cake.

1
Brick Meathook

Always check your lug nuts
comment image

1
Horatio Cornblower

Hard to pick up the 7-10 split but damn if that tire didn’t nail it.

2
WCS

Still haven’t heard back from two of my old neighbors in Charlottesville, and I’m genuinely starting to get worried. One, I’m positive would have been counter-protesting. The other, mostly likely wouldn’t have been there, since she’s in her 60’s, and rarely leaves her house. I’m not really concerned about her. The former, though, I can easily see at The Mall, fighting fascism.

1
Beastmode Ate My Baby

comment image

4
the Alpha and the Amoeba

When shit like that goes down, the cell network can get flooded. They might not have gotten your messages yet.

0
Fronkenshteen

Just got off work. I’m at the bar now. CNN is on. In LESS than five minutes, I’ve been treated to the following reactions to the C’ville terrorist attack:
1) The alt-right people were on the scene tending to the wounded. They’re heroes.

2) The driver actually ran over people on his own side.

Fuck FOX News so fucking hard.

2
Romonobyl

comment image

2
JerBear50

If they had on those swoopy helmets, I’m ok with it.

2
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah, I was hit by some dipshit while wearing my swoopy helmet, totally deserved it.

1
JerBear50

Not hard enough, apparently.

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah, he shoulda killed me, certainly would have avoided having overcrowded servers on WP.

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Birth defects and intentional death; I would give you a hard time if I hadn’t done the same thing.

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

6
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

2
herodotus450

The ol “Three Beavers in the Pool”

0
JerBear50

Due to possible assumptions about my being in the south and the already existent tension currently floating around, I’m gonna let someone else pick that peach I see dangling there.

2
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

shy and hairless brother

comment image

2
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

0
Beastmode Ate My Baby

No ook! No ook!

2
herodotus450

I know we rag on pants a lot here, but, man, socks. It’s like, what can we do to capture all this foot sweat in an ecosystem that will encourage bacterial stench growth? Oh I know, a cotton sleeve. And what the fuck, you ever try to put these fuckers on when your foot is still wet?
/Is this what going insane feels like?

1
Redshirt

Try putting on a rubber glove when you hand is sweaty. Its like you hand has drops of glue on it.

0
herodotus450

So never put a rubber on when wet, got it.

0
Wakezilla

Never wear a rubber. Got it.

3
JerBear50

Goddammit, glad I looked up before I hit post.

0
Romonobyl

But think how disgusting your shoes would get.

0
herodotus450

I only wear these from now on
comment image

0
Brick Meathook

Oh yeah? Try getting out of one these when you’re all sweaty.
comment image

2
herodotus450

Oh mistress let’s you get out?

0
Romonobyl

What gets me is that there is a factory somewhere making this shit.

0
Beastmode Ate My Baby

What? It’s just a side-business. Really.

1
JerBear50

One of the best things about FL is year round Birks. Fuck socks, fuck shoes.

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“!?!?!?!?!?”

-Rex Ryan

3
JerBear50

Legit lol on that one.

1
Senor Weaselo

Drifting fail!

1
1 2
358
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x