NFL News:
- In a harbinger of what this season might look like, Alex Smith’s agent is already talking about where he might end up next year.
- “Alex is the present, and as good a football player as he is, he’s going to have opportunities whether it’s in Kansas City or someplace else.”
- The Seahawks are going to pay Justin Britt…$9 million a season?
- They do know Russell is getting killed on the outside, right?
- Well, what Russell wants, Russell gets I s’pose.
- Since they are never going to play in the Super Bowl, the Browns figure hosting the draft is a much-more attainable option. So, they have applied to host it in 2019 or 2020.
- Laughably, they’ve added the Hall of Fame to the bid as a site in order to make “Cleveland” seem attractive.
- It’s getting ugly between the League & the NFLPA over the Ezekiel Elliott appeal.
- The League is threatening the union over alleged “victim (“slut”) shaming” in advance of the appeal of Zeke’s suspension.
- The NFLPA is threatening a slander & defamation suit over the allegations.
- PFT, meanwhile, is trying to tie the Josh Brown domestic violence suspension into all this. Why?
- The League originally suspended him six games, but reduced it prior to appeal based on “mitigating factors”.
- Harold Henderson, the arbiter, also was the arbitrator during the Gordon appeal.
- The League is threatening the union over alleged “victim (“slut”) shaming” in advance of the appeal of Zeke’s suspension.
Now, last night, I previewed (quite well, mind you) the wrong game. So I rechecked the schedule on the nfl.com website. Have a gander at this:
They highlight the Bills – Eagles, yet if you squint, the actually-broadcast game will be the Bucs – Jags. So, some quality fan service by the folks at nfl.com.
Game preview: Bucs at Jags.
Oh man, is this shit sad. Both SB Nation sites read like first drafts of suicide notes.
Tampa’s issues are playing out on “Hard Knocks”, and while I refuse to shell out for HBO Canada – “HBO Canada: we call ourselves HBO, but don’t carry all of the programs. Canada!” – I can watch clips on nfl.com and Youtube, and boy is that awkward. Seeing Roberto Aguayo waiting to get axed was awful; it’s like knowing you’re going to get dumped by the best girl you’ll ever get, and dreading each ring of the phone. Their SBNation site – Bucs Nation – has the analysis from a “you poor bastard” perspective. But don’t fear, they also have analysis of how management has gotten them to this point, and how they have a star QB but nothing else to go with it. If an NFL website is all kicker all the time, that’s not good.
The Jags website – Big Cat Country – has clearly given up on the Blake Bortles experiment:
- 6 quarterback options to replace Blake Bortles
- shockingly, their lead choice is Colin Kaepernick
- Doug Marrone on Blake Bortles: “Some good throws and some horsesh*t throws”
- Allen Robinson after Blake Bortles pass: “F***ing keep that s**t in bounds, bro!”
To sum up both teams, here’s video of a fight at their joint practice, courtesy Pewter Report:
Former #Buc Arrelius Benn getting into it with #Bucs LB Ardarius Glanton. Teams had to be separated. Third scuffle of the day. pic.twitter.com/wMhHilU37C
— PewterReport 🏴☠️ (@PewterReport) August 15, 2017
Otherwise, ESPN has you covered, since they’re broadcasting the game.
Tonight’s sports:
- Football:
- NFL:
- Bucs at Jags – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
- CFL:
- Eskimos at Blue Bombers – 8:30PM | TSN
- NFL:
- Baseball:
- Little League World Series:
- Southwest vs. Great Lakes – 7:00PM | ESPN2
- MLB:
- Yankees at Mets – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
- Little League World Series:
kd lang was excellent last night. Voice still has all the power. I recommend all Canadians take a ladyfriend to the show, as she will thank you for it. Plus, you might get an added attraction we got – DRUNKEN LESBIAN BRAWL!
Strange… my cat just hissed at the screen.
Will KC really let Smith walk? I mean, we all rip on his checkdownness but, with the right RB and D, he’s the guy to game manage a team to a SB.
Fun fact you might not know: Elvis Dumervil’s middle name is “Kool”.
Like no shit, that’s his REAL middle name.
After the cigarette or the drink?
LOL
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gO8N3L_aERg&ab_channel=TheOfficeUS
So, I know that I’m late to the party and that you shouldn’t expect much from preseason football, but holy shit, that Jags vs Bucs game! Two missed extra points plus that safety. Did the teams acquire the Keystone Cops in Free Agency while I wasn’t looking?
I think they acquired Keystone Light before the game.
I now imagine Nick Folk announcing his presence ala Steve Holt!
Oh, swell. Plaxico Burress is now a coaching intern for Bruce Arians– He’s a real shoot at the hip guy.
http://www.nj.com/giants/index.ssf/2017/07/ex-giants_wideout_plaxico_burress_trying_his_hand.html
Never thought I’d have an opportunity to share this, but if you can spare 73 seconds of your time, it’s worth a watch.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpgL5kuBpMA
Duh: https://www.doorfliesopen.com/index.php/2017/07/03/4th-of-july-weekend-nfl-player-psas/comment-page-1/
Wow. This was a stupid, but inevitable, throw from rocket surgeon Jameis Winston.
https://streamable.com/q1z3v
LOL at “rocket surgeon”.
That was good.
Test.
https://streamable.com/n02q0
The odd thing is, the male robot is on the bottom.
USBpegging.
Howdy folks.
I’m in a good mood for a change.
Even JSD’s continued pattern of racism isn’t gonna get to me tonight.
(but don’t think I didn’t see it…and don’t think I don’t realize that if I said the same types of things in the other direction I would have been banned a long time ago)
LMFAO, no one is coming anywhere near this comment.
I was going to do something, anything. Now I’m just broken. And now I want cake. Fucking fuck.
I’ll take it.
Hopefully a Safety happens.
Well… sort of.
Are you a warlock?
Is this abomination still going on?
Kids come up with some weird ways to get drunk these days.
I refuse to believe they had the money to afford a green screen.
Paper was cheaper than the roof.
They not only had real green-screens, “The Room” might very well have been the first movie to be shot simultaneously in 2K digital AND 35mm film. Some serious money went into it, which is why it is so extra awful.
Jax goes blorp!
Marquez Williams was out of bounds.
Gruden pouring gas on the Bortles/Henne dumpster fire.
I think that’s one too many Street Fighter movies
http://d3qvyul2tp4j8.cloudfront.net/i/YO2PM6TX-P.gif
Gay agenda,
I see I made the right decision to go for a walk in lieu of watching preseason football this evening
God hates us
Shanklor hates Tampa Bay.
Finally.
Let’s go with this for the time being.
https://gfycat.com/@unsurprised/quotables_2017_preseason_week_2
Fitzpatrick sucks so badly gfycat doesn’t want to process the gif of him.
Eat away the pain.
Starting RB (and injury-prone) Chris Ivory playing in the second half?
Whoopsie! Fournette should be the starter.
I’ll just assume Deuce Gruden played Lacrosse in college.
http://cdn1.sbnation.com/imported_assets/1307945/hennelol2_medium.gif
http://img0.joyreactor.com/pics/post/gif-wtf-condom-653209.gif
Why would anyone do this?
Deuce Gruden looks bro-tastic.
They were both butt-ugly, but the other one at least seemed normal,
He named his child Deuce??
So somehow the Dolphins third string qb has shittier arm tattoos than the second string.
I’m picking up on a theme here.
I wonder why @NFL isn’t posting any TBvsJAX gifs.
Ryan “He Went To Harvard” Fitzpatrick is in the game.
I wonder if Antonio “He Played Basketball!” Gates is watching?
Maybe he knows someone from Detroit….
I just said that to this.
https://twitter.com/WhatGoingDowney/status/898358790839455744
All great parents, man…
When that Yinzburgh rain gon let up?
So I guess its safe to say the Dolphins don’t have a lot of depth at…all the positions.
$10M to pry a cat off the litterbox was a pretty good hint
It’s so obvious that McDonough can’t barely stand Gruden.
So that’s how you finally kill off Freddy Krueger.
No one else finds terrified children hilarious? Think of the nightmares, people!
Any bon mots from that Bills fumble?
This gif brought to you by the “Friends of Dan Snyder”
“These are automatic. Just give it to him”
-Miami announcing team on an extra point attempt that Tucker fell down. He made it but god it was ugly.
https://gfycat.com/unsurprised/quotables_2017_preseason_week_2
Love me some David Starr. He might have the worst tattoo I’ve ever seen, but he doesn’t take shit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HofKEmvGel0
It should be an automatic suspension of the entire coaching staff to through a challenge flag in the preseason.
Actually, I heard once an official asked a team to throw a challenge flag so the officials could practice reviewing a play.
Football scholars consider this moment the Conception of BLEERGH.
Lovie Smith challenges this.
Good boy.
Me: “Yeah, I’m getting a hotel room so I can see the Total Eclipse. It’ll be nice to get away for a few days and have a little vacation.”
Coworker: “Sounds good. I’m sure you and your family will love it.”
Me: “Family?”
Hookers & dealers can be family.