JV NFL Returns FOAR Reals (2017 Edition)

King Hippo

King Hippo

Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan.Also a proud fookin’ Evertonian.Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child.[Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
King Hippo

Latest posts by King Hippo (see all)

Better safe than sorry – may have used this title before, and the old brain ain’t what it used to be in terms of creativity (and in all candor, never was very much to begin with).  So many questions to be answered on this new, unfolding season, but as usual…all roads run through ROLL DAMN TIDE.

Maryland at Texas (Noon, FS1)

Please, dear Jeebus, don’t let this one get cancelled.  Tis a lean fookin’ window.  Fear teh Turtle is usually pretty awful, but no team lives to be all disappoint like Hook ’em.  My cold, black heart would delight in a “healing” story well and truly shat upon.

Wyoming at Iowa (Noon, BTN)

Boy howdy, did I struggle to find a secondary option, and I am going with this over Snowflake Bowl in Chapel Hole.  FUN FACT!  Thanks to the US Air Force, I was born in Wyoming, the barren hellscape part, not the beautiful, playground of the rich and famous part.

South Cakalaky v. NC State @ Richardson Family Plantation (3:00, ESPN)

This is actually a passionate, excellent historical rivalry that has sadly fallen by the wayside.  Hopefully, this will be a thrilling contest that results in the fanbases of the two schools demanding that the series resume with reasonable regularity, as opposed to the more predictable wolven shitting upon its collective dick when anything is expected of them.  Hope in one hand, shit in the other, see which gets full first.  Be glad you can flip to…

Michigan v. Florida @ JerralWorld Aquarium (3:30, ABC)

I have no fucking clue what to expect from either side, but they are both in the top 20 by default, and they always recruit well.  The laws of JV NFL gravity and/or inertia suggest that at least one will end up being prettay…prettay…good.

Temple at Notre Dome (3:30, NBC)

Fuck Brian Kelly.  With Robert E. Lee’s dick.  Original and statuary, he can choose which goes in which hole (I’m not some kind of monster, FFS).

Louisville at Purdue (7:30, Fox)

I mean, I’ll watch FOAR half an hour just in case Gus Johnson is announcing.  I’m assuming the ‘Ville administration scheduled this road trip because the coeds are too ugly for Petrino to get into any MOAR trouble?

Florida State v. Alabama @ Jesus Chicken Dome (8:00, ABC)

Holy Christ, this is why you buy extra beer for this Saturday night, and refuse all other plans.  #1 v. #3 is some hot shit, even if it’s despicable assdicks like Jimbo and Saban.  Once again, I shall be rooting for the “at least he’s up front about his puppy blood drinking” evil guy.  Jimbo can die in a fucking fire, for all I care.  ROLL DAMN TIDE!!

King Hippo
King Hippo

Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin’ Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]

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Spur
Member
Spur

ROW THE BOAT!

Spur
Member
Spur

This WMU power run game has me excited to see what Stanford can do vs USC

Spur
Member
Spur

Wow….I’m starting to feel bad for florida.

Spur
Member
Spur

OH GOD take holly Rowe off the screen it’s like watching the exorcist

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

NC State loses. Big shock.
Hippo and Myself now turn the blog back over to the rest of ya’s.
Heheheheheheheheh

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Well shit.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Fuck, that shoulda been six.
Goddammit.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Kinda regretting that kickoff return for the TD now, eh?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

OK, that was a stupid throw.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Stops the clock at least.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Damned right that’s a PI

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Well I’m shocked.
But also oughta have 15 more tacked on for the facemask.
Small victories I guess.

Spur
Member
Spur

Zaire left ND cause he didn’t think it could get worse….
He was wrong

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Pick six would be nice right about now.

blaxabbath
Member

It shows just how much that Trump dominated the election news cycle that this video didn’t even get five minutes of morning shows news coverage.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

‘Dis gon’ be close.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

This is pretty much it. Let’s see how smrt Eliah is.

yeah right
Member

It feels reality strange to be doing cooking prep for a big spread tomorrow without taking pictures of it.

litre_cola
Member

Broncos expected to aggressively pursue Brock Lobster. Bahahahahahaha. How you like that Hippo?

Spur
Member
Spur

A 9 point deficit might as well be 90 with Florida’s “offense”

Spur
Member
Spur

McElwain is just Muschamp 2.0

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

OK, Drinkwitz is an idiot after all.

Spur
Member
Spur

Zaire rocking the 80’s jersey sleeves

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

LMFAO!!!!

AARP Card Arriving Soon

With an average of 8.3 years of NFL experience, tWBS Never Learns is the team most likely to have a player qualify for a senior citizen discount.

Projected 6th. Can’t find a record. But I also might be a little drunk.

NC State sucks.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

OH there it is…

8-6, 1,814 pts.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Very Wolven Like, I must say.

Redshirt
Member

Wow, Florida. If you going to take a dive because you bet on M*ch*g*n, at least don’t make it look too obvious.

Spur
Member
Spur

Isn’t there a third QB for Florida? Why is Zaire the only one everyone here is mentioning?

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