So, for most people it’s the middle day of the three-day Labour Day holiday weekend. Please look forward to the embarrassment Roger Goodell should hopefully feel this week as it’s brought out that – which Deadspin discovered late-Thursday – the League may have been specifically hunting Elliott.
The NFL’s lead investigator, Kia Roberts, reportedly testified that she had recommended Elliott not be suspended, only to find her recommendation missing from the league’s final report.
Per the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, Roberts testified that after interviewing Tiffany Thompson, Elliott’s former girlfriend, she recommended that Elliott not be suspended by the league. [snip] But Roberts’s recommendation was not included in the NFL’s final report on the situation, and according to what a source told the Star-Telegram about today’s testimony, she was barred from a meeting with commissioner Roger Goodell to discuss the league’s discipline of Elliott.
This may be what got Jerry Jones so upset when the suspension was announced – because the investigator may have hinted to him that all was good. Then he found out about SHENANIGANS! and this fresh hell broke loose.
Please continue enjoying the last of your summer beers, for soon winter will bring us the heartiest of ales. On the summer beer front, for the life of me, I just don’t get buying cans of Radler. Ooh – look at you, #UpForWhatever. It’s a fucking glorified shandy, but with a manlier name, for the type of person that goes nose-up at a Bud Lime-a-rita because it’s too macro. I just want to smack the neckbeard & fedora right off their stupid head.
Tonight’s sports:
- NCAA:
- West Virginia vs. Virginia Tech – 7:30PM | ABC / TSN3
- Texas A&M at UCLA – 7:30PM | FOX
- MLB:
- Red Sox at Yankees – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
- NASCAR:
- Bojangles’ Southern 500 – 6:00PM | NBCSN / TSN5
- RAGE INDUCING HORSESHIT!
- Do Your Job: Bill Belichick and the 2016 New England Patriots – 7:00PM | NBC (ET & PT)
Ahh, NBC’s Patriots love. I missed that bias…by avoiding Peter King’s columns. NOW THE SEASON CAN TRULY BEGIN!
This time next week I plan to be sitting on the beach, high as fuck, enjoying the solitude and the peace of not having to deal with anyone’s shit for a week. Not even my own.
Or, I might be dying tragically in the storm surge from Hurricane Irma.
Frankly, I’m good with either scenario.
Dibs on the peppers if you die!
If you can act responsibly, I’ll try to get some shipped your way before I head down there.
Then every time your pancreas explodes, you can remember me.
(seriously, happy to send some)
((Imma surf those hurricaney waves…that wasn’t a joke))
Hey, I act responsibly! Most of the time!
Fair enough, lol. I need to pick tomorrow and Friday anyway. If there’s enough to make it worth it I’ll get up with you privately (giggity) and get the shipping digits. Cool?
Ok, UCLA isn’t just poop. They’re playing like liquid shit.
Switching over to Turkeyfuckers v Cousinfuckers.
“Next week, we hope to add enough consistency to our offense and defensing to be considered normal, solid poop again. Certainly before we play Oregon State. Dear heavenly Christ, please don’t let me lose to Oregon State, I won’t ever work again.” – Lesser Jim Mora
Sounds like the team needs to roll around in some flour.
This fixture gives me the nods like you wouldn’t believe.
/everyone believes the nods part
You guys ever have Rooibos tea? I’m brewing an inaugural pot and it smells like a fucking horse pasture.
Filthy fucking hippie. GET A JOB!!
I got a job! I make Sill-type money! I could buy and sell this place and you’d all never even know what hit you!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auuwJ6f8SPI
OH COME ON!!!! YOU PROMISED!!!!!!!
(lol)
(lol)
I like it, but, it’s a weird taste at first.
They say that about opium, too!
It’s no Monkey-picked Golden Oolong
Ook?
https://www.quora.com/Is-monkey-picked-tea-really-picked-by-monkeys
Yeah, it’s not bad. It tastes better iced
They had it all over the place in South Africa. Was never really my thing.
Swell.
Hey, you could be Lesser Jim Mora right now. Buck up!
OK?
THIS GUY WHATEVER THE CHARACTER’S NAME IS I CALL HIM TOM BRADY’S NEW ASSISTANT CAUSE HE’S GREAT AT DEFLATING IN A BIG HURRY WHILE OUT OF SIGHT.
His name is Thunder.
The fact that Houston flooded means the Lizard people have finally waterproofed their underground hollow world lairs! End times people!
The Patriots are cheaters and, worse yet, every single person who roots for that franchise or “respects” the team is an unequivocally a Nazi.
Does drafting Tawmmy in FF make me a Nazi?
I kinda think it probably does, but I kinda also had to. I am not looking forward the dichotomy of tearing opposite emotions this will cause me.
just a sympathizer
Well considering your stance on how you’re going to do this year I think it’s more like “Springtime for Hitler.”
/I’m expecting this to have to get approval
Turns out when you welcome family into the house for dinner, it often takes longer to get them to leave than one might expect.
At least when I feed the ducks, they know to go the fuck home and not fuck up the house when they get full.
Ducks >>>>>> Family
Indeed.
D’awwwwwwwwwww
Geese on the other hand, they can go fuck themselves.
Yep, you already know my stance on geese. Fuck those assholes.
It’s my own. I keep my grudges, and those bastards still owe me pizza.
LMFAO. Indeed they do.
I just grab ’em and chuck back in the lake and dare them to come back into the yard.
(OK, that sounds worse if you haven’t heard the whole story…tl:dr They started it)
I often refer to my cat as “son” and 9 days out of 10 he certainly qualifies as my easy favourite.
This Rosen kid getting a little Manning face going on here…
So you might say he’s, Guilding (playing QB), Stern?
And surprise, surprise, UCLA is punting again
Just the way your average West By God Virginian likes to see it, too. White man throws it, white man catches it.
I really think the sequel has the potential to not be just a money grab that’s 1/10th as good as the original.
Beerfest was alright, but, I thought Slammin’ Salmon was hilarious.
Club Dread — such a pleasant surprise.
W. Virginny/VA Tech football game is tighter than the players’ 13 year-old cousins.
Better ratchet that back to at least 11…
“11? That’s sick! Thirteen is the way to go.”
-Jerry Lee Lewis
After the ceremony, they’re referred to as 13 year-old SPOUSES.
I like how Holgerson positions and constantly adjusts his visor to make it look like he has hair.
My assessment thus far:
There he is!!!
“No problem! The flooding will put out the fire!”
when God closes a door…
Pictured: FSU’s season.
Other than week four.
And six, and eleven.
Is Will Griers wife made out of doll parts?
Is UCLA elite?
So UCLA appears to be not so good.
The jury is still out on teh battle of teh mountainfolk.
WCS is quiet, so I presumed a stasis of sorts
/or good pillz
I talked to him skype-illy last night. He was pumped for this. Can’t believe he’s not rampaging.
I am disappointed.
It’s predictably as dull as televised badminton
Repeating Hippo’s earlier comment: “UCLA just might be poop.”
and the run defense…whatever is two rungs below that
Is Ucla ranked? Fox doesnt show it if they are
neither side is
They are not. Both were in the also receiving votes category.
Somebodeh ain’t getting dey votes next week methinks.
A&M should be allowed to legally confiscate them
Well they’ve already taken their candy and their lunch money. Might as well take their votes too. LMFAO.
Ran off to Ottawa again this weekend to participate in two fantasy drafts. It’s twenty years now we’ve been doing this. I want to quit but every fucking year I laugh so hard when we get together that my jaw is sore the next day.
Is laugh code for something else?
gotta make dem entry fees somehow ,, smh
Don’t kid yourself-you’re the worst.
Alright. Going offline to watch the Riverfest Fireworks blast Summer away.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxUgxhTyyq4
don’t do anything we would do!
Aw.
(puts away flamethrower)
Redshirt (artist’s rendition)
/Guiltily puts rocket launcher back in closet
Yeah, what he said.
Too bad re UCLA, they are always a side I kind of like as “hey, they aren’t really too evil, all things considered (ie, their League surroundings).”
Kind of like TAMU, actually.
Seamus recently told a story of an ex that was way too young and out of his lieague. I have one too, and she is in Harvey’s path, and I really hope she is ok.
9 years younger than me, and one of the most gorgeous women I have ever seen. 24 years old, and had never kissed a man. How is that possible? Social anxiety is a killer, folks. Every time a man would flirt with her, she would freak out and run away.
So how did I get so lucky? I met her online. Talked to her online every day for six months before either of us had exchanged photos. Six months before she got up the nerve to talk on the phone. And we continued to talk online every day for another couple of months before she got up the nerve to meet me. By then, we knew each other well, and we were crazy for each other, so her social anxiety was manageable.
And for awhile, everything was amazing. For awhile.
Here’s the thing. I had been in relationships. I knew how they flowed. This was her first. She couldn’t see what was coming, but I could. I knew….absolutely KNEW…..that she would soon reach a point where I disappointed her. She wouldn’t have me on a pedestal anymore. She would start to wonder if I am the one she wants.
And I couldn’t bear to live through that, so I broke up with her.
She married the next man who came into her life. She has been with him for 16 years now. And I’m happy in the relationship that I’m currently in, but I would be lying if I said that there aren’t occasionally days when I think about her, and wish I could have been the man that she needed me to be.
I’ll close the doors of the confessional now.
Fuck, man. That’s deep. Brave as fuck of you to handle that way, too.
Cool story.
Where are the pictures?
I don’t believe I said out of my league.
But yeah, she was. I’m still very proud of that actually, LOL.
But more to your point, it’s interesting how often we find ourselves the “experience gained” which works out well for the next guy, eh? FWIW, it doesn’t sound like it was you who wasn’t what she needed, rather than her just not knowing what she needed. It happens. Meh.
Nice to share. Similar to my “One that Got Away” story, but I’m not brave or drunk enough to share it.
Drink more then.
Det. William ‘Bunk’ Moreland: It’s a Joseph Abboud. He puts dark buttons instead of brass on his blazers. That’s the Abboud signature.
Off. James ‘Jimmy’ McNulty: You know what they call a guy who pays that much attention to his clothes, don’t you?
Det. William ‘Bunk’ Moreland: A grown-up.
Hey!
Whatado?
Next week Primetime will be the tits. Stanford/Troi Boiz, Aubie/Clemson, Boomer Sooner/tOSU
Hey all.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhntBcMi0XU
Hi there!
If it’s sweet and yella, you got juice there, fella! If it’s tangy and brown, you’re in cider town.
Notice how these aren’t from later seasons?
There were only (HA! Only!) ten seasons.
UCLA just might be poop
Looking that way.
Jeeze, what did they tell UCLA the ball was made of that they don’t want to hold onto it?
“Girl cooties?” – Aaron R., Green Bay, WI
“Cooties? Ew. Gross.”
-E. Manning
Maybe UCLA is fielding a team composed of all Muslims. It is a pigskin after all.
Burbank Boulevard, 5:00AM this morning:
God cursed Texas with a flood. God cursed California with fire. God cursed Ohio.
I must’ve missed the news mentioning that the Hellmouth under LA finally opened up.
reminds me to check our Hellmouth, thanks!
I do what I can.
At least they won’t have to worry about getting a shitty, patronizing and tone-deaf visit by Trump.
All these natural disasters and I’m starting to think like, “Maybe I should go back to renting.”
Spoken like a true Angelino.
…and the Browns have pissed of Cleveland PD. Which means if the Dawg Pound riots, the cops will just sit back and watch.
https://sports.yahoo.com/cleveland-police-union-will-not-hold-flag-browns-game-protests-152946504.html
THE PAULS!!!
all a conspiracy to boost Pauls’ ratings. Who wouldn’t wanna see THAT?
it’s hot as balls at the Rose Bowl. I don’t know how these young men manage to stay hydrated and how those young ladies still have clothes on.
the ladies should make out. FOAR hydration
FSU Twitter is full-blown meltdown mode. It’s beautiful.
http://www.espn.com/college-football/story/_/id/20566374/florida-state-seminoles-qb-deondre-francois-season
they don’t cotton to the notion of “rebuilding season?”
Reds call that a “refresh” and Bengals call it a “reboot”. Too bad the server has one bar and the boot files have been corrupted ever since Mike Brown tried deleting the porn from the franchise computer before his father caught it.
speaking of new QB, is the new Ted-fucker for the Cousinfuckers any good?
He’s supposed to be. I hope so.
Yet another new QB for TAMU
Okay, you’ve broken into the White House and have control of the Football. It is armed, but Secret Service is breaking down the door and you only have one target to make before you are stopped.
Who do you nuke:
New England Patriots or University of Alabama Football?
I enjoy hating Bama. The P*ts make me blackout crunk angry.
Without football, Alabama is still cursed to continue being Alabama. Destroying the Patriots also gets rid of maybe one or two billionaires and puts the fear of God into the region for all of its other crimes.
You stage a game in a neutral city, oh say Wichita. Invite both teams for an opening weekend extravaganza. As you are the president you choose Notre Dame v Bama the Saturday, Pats v Cowboys double header. Boom.
this takes out boosters, good idea!
You’re not President, but I like your scenario.
Yeah, realized that just didnt edit as i am lazy.
Alabama desegregated. I’m not so sure that’s the case in NE.
Rosen looks awful good still, to me. Hope Our Equine Lord and Saviour is watching.
I’m already tired of this Heisman House commercial.
Fixed.
Watching “The Rock” and pretending that the ex-spy Sean Connery is playing is an old, disgrunted James Bond makes the movie so much better.
Who doesn’t do this?
are there still questions re Rosen’s shoulder? Has his NFL stock dropped w/ the Gentiles?
out of bounds opening kickoff is always ominous
“Understand Your Limitations.”
/I’ll take, “What has imbibing copious amounts of alcohol never said to you for $600, Alex.”
I’ve been waiting for this game for a dozen years.
“Venus Going The Full De-Mile-O”
-Tomorrow’s USA Today’s Sports Headline
This UCLA/TAMU match is really interesting to me, even before I saw noted Donks hipster/chicken farmer Von Miller on the Aggies’ sideline.
Both these teams are unranked, but I would say with potential.
Halftime follow up?
Yankees/Red Sox for me. I may check out UCLA A&M. Fuck Goodell
Southern 500? Isn’t that every NASCAR race?
They’re not all that long.
*Sigh* “Ain’t that the truth.”
-A. Rodgers
Fuck Virginia Tech with Dan Snyder’s severed penis.
Well a howdy to you too brother.
You have some compelling arguments, and I’d like to subscribe to your newsletter.