Your NFC East Division Slugfest-Orama Football Open Thread

Boy howdy has this been a day. I bid a very warm welcome to the new commenters that have done some quality yakking on this here blog earlier today. Strong start, fellas. Keep up with the funny. Me? I spent the majority of the day ignoring my family’s wants and needs. They’ve come to expect that beginning (continuing?) in the fall just as the leaves turn. We’ve come to a nice arrangement. The games themselves today were equal parts extraordinary physical displays and mind-bending mental errors. Thankfully I’m equally entertained by both. This football fan did not go hungry. Well, the last tilt of the day is before us. Shall we? TO THE GAME!

The Mighty Giants/Dall-ass: Difference-maker Old Dirty Beckham is a game timer but I sure hope he limps on to the field if only to serve as a distraction for the Cowboys D. His presence alone will make things easier for the Giants. If he’s not there using up the double team then Dallas can free up another defender to attack the basically immobile Eli. That wouldn’t be good. DAK!, Dez and Zeke ran roughshod over everyone else in the league but managed to put up only 26 points against the G-men last year. That said, both games were easily winnable last year. Dallas has lost some guys in the secondary while New York has upgraded at rb, te and wr. I hope that’ll be enough to squeeze out what will no doubt be a tight affair. I’ll say 21-17 Giants. Oh, and Eli will definitely throw an interception. Book it.

Damn. I had all kinds of fun today-let’s keep that ball rolling. LET’S DO THIS!!!

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Romonobyl
Member

Shortest moment of silence in history.

King Hippo
Member

he said moment and by fuck he meant it!

Doktor Zymm
Member

Ignorance, either real or feigned, is not an effective way to market to me….VERIZON

King Hippo
Member

I continue to not find Carrie Underwood particularly attractive. So sue me.

litre_cola
Member

Careful, we got a whole lot of lawyerin types round these parts inculding hippo. You dont want to mess with that guy.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Look at this hot takin’ sonofabitch.

Spur
Member
Spur

She can sing to me whatever crappy song she wants

The Maestro
Member

BRB, hopping in my car to drive 15 hours to fistfight you for this heresy.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Cool, you get him. I’ll wait over here with Carrie.

King Hippo
Member

just your average cornpone bottle blonde

The Maestro
Member

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

You take that back. She’s a way above average cornpone bottle blonde.
And that’s ok in my book.

Doktor Zymm
Member

Driving over rubber duckys looks super fun

Romonobyl
Member

Not if you’re a fucking rubber duck you monster!

Doktor Zymm
Member

You’re fucking a rubber duck? No, YOU MONSTER.

Redshirt
Member

Thanks for ruining one of my favorite childhood memories Dok.

King Hippo
Member

everything about Bert and Ernie has to have a hidden, dark BDSM reference, don’t it?

Redshirt
Member

Do a search for “bert and earnie dark humor”. Its sick and funny.
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Doktor Zymm
Member

Most uses of a rubber ducky are still perfectly innocent and lovely. Take it up with Romonobyl here.

Romonobyl
Member

No, but I have a friend who’s into some pretty weird shit.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

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King Hippo
Member

“We’re gonna need a bigger strap-on”

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

RUN OVER ME MOTHERFUCKER

Gratliff
Member

DAK gonna fall on his face so fucking hard. It’s going to be magnificent.

Romonobyl
Member

BOOOOOO fucker BOOOOOOOO!!!!!!11

Gratliff
Member

Kaep gonna be starting for Dallas by week 6

Romonobyl
Member

I’m still cooking…
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Romonobyl
Member

I liked it better when that went off the edge.

Doktor Zymm
Member

DAKDAKDAK

Gratliff
Member

I’ve spent most of my day trying to eat my weight in pistachios and there’s an alarming rate of empty shells in this bag

Romonobyl
Member

It’s physically impossible to eat one pistachio.

Gratliff
Member

Why would you even. It’s like being thirsty and choosing to lick the outside of a cold glass.

King Hippo
Member

so you are succeeding? GOOD JOB!

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

Hey, anyone know who sponsored the SNF opening? Was it T-Mobile?

The Maestro
Member

Carrie’s dress this season is 🔥🔥🔥.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
Member
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

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Romonobyl
Member

I have pajamas like that, is that wrong?

Wakezilla
Member

Good lord, Carrie Underwood. That’s a spicy number she’s wearing

Doktor Zymm
Member

The fuck is Carrie wearing?

Petronel
Member
Petronel

We’re rebooting Spider-Man again ALREADY?

Doktor Zymm
Member

Has she started figure skating?

litre_cola
Member

Kaep would have won game X tomorrow. – Hot radio taekers tomorrow.

WCS
Member

BUT HE HAETS ARE TROOPS AND POLICE AND MURICA CUZ HES A DAMED TREIGHTOR LIKE BENDICK ARNOLD!!!111!1 — Radio hawt taek callers tomorrow

Doktor Zymm
Member

BENDICK NOT NAMED ARNOLD!!!
-TEH BEN

Spanky Datass
Member
Spanky Datass

I HARF’D!

Redshirt
Member

Have to give Seth McFarlane credit. He looks like he’s living his fan dream.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Someone in this bar legitimately thinks this is the new Star Trek.

Doktor Zymm
Member

Dungy is the argument that vampires aren’t actually sexy. He’s old school, Nosferatu style, pointy eared vampire.

Dick E. Phuck
Member
Dick E. Phuck

Or for a more modern example: The chief vampire from Blade II.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

I imagine Dungy as a rejected character from The Strain.

Redshirt
Member

Orville has pretty good special effects and set design for a YouTube fan video…oh, wait, this is Fox? Nevermind.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

So what’s the point of this show? Is it meant as a spoof of Trek-like sci-fi or what?

Redshirt
Member

Galaxy Quest without the fictional TV show and jokes. Its making Star Trek: Enterprise look like the great TOS episodes, TNG Seasons 3-6, DS9 Season 6-7 and a few Voyager episodes.

Dick E. Phuck
Member
Dick E. Phuck

TNG season 5 was legendary television.

litre_cola
Member

Just realised I can bet in play Filipino Volleyball. Who you got, the Fighting Maroons or Lions?

Jerry Was A Shogun Named Marcus
Member

Filipinos do volleyball? I could DOMINATE!

litre_cola
Member

As per bet365 yes they do.

The Maestro
Member

Stanley Cups: Maroons – 1.

Super Bowls: Lions – 0.

The answer is clear.

The Maestro
Member

If someone wants to send me a burrito, I’d give you… Probably jack shit, realistically. I just want a burrito and can’t be fucked to get up and go get one.

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

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Spur
Member
Spur

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
Member
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

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litre_cola
Member

evenin lads and ladies.

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

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Doktor Zymm
Member

Welcome to one of the few times I root for injuries! I kinda hope Jameis Winston is in the stands, trips over a railing, falls onto the field and crushes some of Zeke’s nerves

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

That seems very….specific.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

It’s also very good.

Dick E. Phuck
Member
Dick E. Phuck

My thoughts exactly

Spur
Member
Spur

We all float down here Eli.

Spur
Member
Spur

Let’s Do This. Go Cowboys!

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

Watching from a house on the Cape with my wife and her brother. Both Giants fans. This should be entertaining when Eli throws an awful pick, and Flowers allows his 4th sack

Dick E. Phuck
Member
Dick E. Phuck

Eli’s locked in. He’s playing for the ultimate prize: A 2018 Six Flags season pass.

Dick E. Phuck
Member
Dick E. Phuck

Is it wrong that I hope both of Zeke Elliott’s knees explode within the first ten seconds?

Gratliff
Member

Why wait so long?

WCS
Member

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Redshirt
Member

While the NFL players kneel during the anthem, the Dirt Bengals Manager has his priorities straight!

http://www.cincinnati.com/story/sports/mlb/reds/2017/09/10/patriotism-saves-bryan-price-ejection/651959001/

WCS
Member

Peter King is already spending 8500 words of his 11,000 maximum writing about this than anything that happened on Opening Weekend.

Gratliff
Member

I am here for the catastrophic season-ending injuries

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