Boy howdy has this been a day. I bid a very warm welcome to the new commenters that have done some quality yakking on this here blog earlier today. Strong start, fellas. Keep up with the funny. Me? I spent the majority of the day ignoring my family’s wants and needs. They’ve come to expect that beginning (continuing?) in the fall just as the leaves turn. We’ve come to a nice arrangement. The games themselves today were equal parts extraordinary physical displays and mind-bending mental errors. Thankfully I’m equally entertained by both. This football fan did not go hungry. Well, the last tilt of the day is before us. Shall we? TO THE GAME!
The Mighty Giants/Dall-ass: Difference-maker Old Dirty Beckham is a game timer but I sure hope he limps on to the field if only to serve as a distraction for the Cowboys D. His presence alone will make things easier for the Giants. If he’s not there using up the double team then Dallas can free up another defender to attack the basically immobile Eli. That wouldn’t be good. DAK!, Dez and Zeke ran roughshod over everyone else in the league but managed to put up only 26 points against the G-men last year. That said, both games were easily winnable last year. Dallas has lost some guys in the secondary while New York has upgraded at rb, te and wr. I hope that’ll be enough to squeeze out what will no doubt be a tight affair. I’ll say 21-17 Giants. Oh, and Eli will definitely throw an interception. Book it.
Damn. I had all kinds of fun today-let’s keep that ball rolling. LET’S DO THIS!!!
Gruden pitching shitty Corona beer is just perfect.
Right up with him slinging shitty dining fare for Hooters.
THIS GUY I CALL HIM JAMES BROWN BECAUSE HE LOVES GETTING INTO RESTAURANT SHIT
I’m going to have a car soon. NFL commercials are really limiting the field as far as who I want to buy insurance from.
You mean you don’t like “Assaulty Legaltechnicality Co”
Well if daytime tv has taught me anything is that always use protection and gon to The General for your insurance.
FOR THE BEST CAR RATE YOU CAN FIND ONLINE, GO TO THE GENERAL AND SAVE SOME TIME!
Why wouldn’t you check that down to Zeke
Cuz he might beat it?
I refuse to believe Christina Hendricks drives a Kia.
I mean, would teh boobs even FIT??
I wouldn’t mind seeing her try.
We’ll make ’em fit!!!
/might not understand the question
That’s actually her bra.
Nate Newton used to clog all the toilets at Texas Stadium because all his shits were hemp ropes.
Do you think people named ‘jones’ get better contracts on the C-bags?
DAK SIGNALLING FOR A FALSE START
I want Eli Apple to be huge solely because :
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0qaKFW_ibnI/VGcCQJ7OejI/AAAAAAAAAP8/BGGnvMC_KFc/s1600/hungry%2Bfor.JPG
Ben McAdoo smells his fingers and says, “I miss my sister”
sheeeeeiiit, I didn’t know he wuz a fellow Son of the South!
Marc Trestman laments how old she’s become.
Me, a Bears fan: “Too soon!”
Trestman: “No, just right.”
Look at this guy in midseason form.
Cris is thirsty for some Dak.
#HotHamWater
I don’t care who the coach is, if it’s Macadoo, he’s creepy as fuck
Is Texas’ Santa Claus reffing the game, because that was a generous spot.
Forward progress
I don’t care who the player is, the animated head shots are creepy as fuck
My personal favorite anthems:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hj3mHN8h_zk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5gg9ObM8uU
Switzerland gonna receive the kick!
And that, ladies and gents, is an ANTHEM.
The cowboys cheat, they suck, and zeke should be getting raped in prison while Jerry watches in the next cell getting jerked by dak. Oh and cowboy fans should be decapitated on the Star in front of their children on Christmas as a lesson.
/am I doing this one-note stupidity right? Or should I repeat it throughout the game apropos of nothing?
//does not give two shits about the cowboys, just likes football.
USE MORE CAPS
I am okay with this both as snark and sincerity
I’m personally disappointed no Giants celebrated tackling Elliott with a slapping motion.
Hot taek: The national anthem was played at sporting events on a regular basis since the late 60s. It’s time to stop doing it. It’s annoying, lame and most other countries don’t do this during league matches.
America so slowly transformed into the country it claims is too nationalistic unfree we all hardly noticed.
My Great Uncle would have something to say to that if he ever returned from Vietnam.
#MIA
I like it, but it should ONLY be reverent. Done like it was tonight. None of this pop star “look at MEEEEEEEEEE” bullshit.
Oh, understood. Agreed.
It should be Marching Bands, professional choirs or Holographic Whitney Houston.
That was a moment of silence ?
Instrumental Anthem! The Best!
Shortest moment of silence in history.
he said moment and by fuck he meant it!
Ignorance, either real or feigned, is not an effective way to market to me….VERIZON
I continue to not find Carrie Underwood particularly attractive. So sue me.
BRB, hopping in my car to drive 15 hours to fistfight you for this heresy.
just your average cornpone bottle blonde
You take that back. She’s a way above average cornpone bottle blonde.
And that’s ok in my book.
Cool, you get him. I’ll wait over here with Carrie.
She can sing to me whatever crappy song she wants
Look at this hot takin’ sonofabitch.
Careful, we got a whole lot of lawyerin types round these parts inculding hippo. You dont want to mess with that guy.
Driving over rubber duckys looks super fun
Not if you’re a fucking rubber duck you monster!
You’re fucking a rubber duck? No, YOU MONSTER.
RUN OVER ME MOTHERFUCKER
“We’re gonna need a bigger strap-on”
No, but I have a friend who’s into some pretty weird shit.
Thanks for ruining one of my favorite childhood memories Dok.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mh85R-S-dh8
Most uses of a rubber ducky are still perfectly innocent and lovely. Take it up with Romonobyl here.
everything about Bert and Ernie has to have a hidden, dark BDSM reference, don’t it?
Do a search for “bert and earnie dark humor”. Its sick and funny.
DAK gonna fall on his face so fucking hard. It’s going to be magnificent.
BOOOOOO fucker BOOOOOOOO!!!!!!11
Kaep gonna be starting for Dallas by week 6
I’m still cooking…
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
I liked it better when that went off the edge.
DAKDAKDAK
I’ve spent most of my day trying to eat my weight in pistachios and there’s an alarming rate of empty shells in this bag
so you are succeeding? GOOD JOB!
It’s physically impossible to eat one pistachio.
Why would you even. It’s like being thirsty and choosing to lick the outside of a cold glass.
Hey, anyone know who sponsored the SNF opening? Was it T-Mobile?
Carrie’s dress this season is ???.
I have pajamas like that, is that wrong?
Good lord, Carrie Underwood. That’s a spicy number she’s wearing
The fuck is Carrie wearing?
Has she started figure skating?
We’re rebooting Spider-Man again ALREADY?
Kaep would have won game X tomorrow. – Hot radio taekers tomorrow.
BUT HE HAETS ARE TROOPS AND POLICE AND MURICA CUZ HES A DAMED TREIGHTOR LIKE BENDICK ARNOLD!!!111!1 — Radio hawt taek callers tomorrow
BENDICK NOT NAMED ARNOLD!!!
-TEH BEN
I HARF’D!
Have to give Seth McFarlane credit. He looks like he’s living his fan dream.
Someone in this bar legitimately thinks this is the new Star Trek.
Dungy is the argument that vampires aren’t actually sexy. He’s old school, Nosferatu style, pointy eared vampire.
Or for a more modern example: The chief vampire from Blade II.
I imagine Dungy as a rejected character from The Strain.
Orville has pretty good special effects and set design for a YouTube fan video…oh, wait, this is Fox? Nevermind.
So what’s the point of this show? Is it meant as a spoof of Trek-like sci-fi or what?
Galaxy Quest without the fictional TV show and jokes. Its making Star Trek: Enterprise look like the great TOS episodes, TNG Seasons 3-6, DS9 Season 6-7 and a few Voyager episodes.
TNG season 5 was legendary television.
Just realised I can bet in play Filipino Volleyball. Who you got, the Fighting Maroons or Lions?
Stanley Cups: Maroons – 1.
Super Bowls: Lions – 0.
The answer is clear.
Filipinos do volleyball? I could DOMINATE!
As per bet365 yes they do.
If someone wants to send me a burrito, I’d give you… Probably jack shit, realistically. I just want a burrito and can’t be fucked to get up and go get one.
evenin lads and ladies.
Welcome to one of the few times I root for injuries! I kinda hope Jameis Winston is in the stands, trips over a railing, falls onto the field and crushes some of Zeke’s nerves
That seems very….specific.
My thoughts exactly
It’s also very good.
We all float down here Eli.
Let’s Do This. Go Cowboys!
Watching from a house on the Cape with my wife and her brother. Both Giants fans. This should be entertaining when Eli throws an awful pick, and Flowers allows his 4th sack
Eli’s locked in. He’s playing for the ultimate prize: A 2018 Six Flags season pass.
Is it wrong that I hope both of Zeke Elliott’s knees explode within the first ten seconds?
Why wait so long?
While the NFL players kneel during the anthem, the Dirt Bengals Manager has his priorities straight!
http://www.cincinnati.com/story/sports/mlb/reds/2017/09/10/patriotism-saves-bryan-price-ejection/651959001/
Peter King is already spending 8500 words of his 11,000 maximum writing about this than anything that happened on Opening Weekend.
I am here for the catastrophic season-ending injuries