2017 Quotables – Results Week One

Our own Blaxxy is busy traveling for work,  so you get me as Judge and Judy for this week’s submittals.

Without further ado, let’s get to it!

And the winners are……

Who said “the logo is lava?” – LemonJello

Talk about adding injury to insult. Of course the Jest can’t do anything in the correct order. – ArmedandHammered

“Everybody do the Marmalard Raaaag…” – Señor Weaselo

We have a tie here as I love them both:

Shanny: “Do you know who I am? I drive a Dodge Stratus!”
Ref: “Go hump someone else’s leg, Chokachee Chief!” – LemonJello

AND

“Do you know who my father is?” – nomonkeyfun

At least Shanny’s wife won’t be the only one complaining about a limp, non-working Johnson. – ArmedandHammered

“Here you go, Diggs, a gift from me to you. Uhh, sh*t, I wish I could have that back now.” – LemonJello

Shown here is a textbook version of the seven step trip play – Game Time Decision

And,  finally,  we get to the reason I say this man is the funniest motherfucker I’ve ever met in my life:

“Yep, the best way to score on a Bear is to push his head down then go til you finish.”

– Aaron Rodgers

Who else could have come up with that but SonOfSpam?

Tremendous week everyone! Big props to LemonJello and ArmedandHammered for multiple selections too.

See you next week!

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

A TIE?!

This is what happens when you let A SOCCER FAN take a jerb from a HARDWORKING ‘MURRICAN!

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Game Time Decision

wow, i made the cut, thanks balls

SonOfSpam

Um….THINGS LORENA BOBBITT WOULD SAY

SonOfSpam

Bengals just fired their OC Ken Zampese. Seems unfair. He totally might’ve gotten them a touchdown in the next month.

King Hippo

yeah the playcalling was what’s wrong. Not the complete lack of OL play or an apparently cooked QB…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

3 minutes to game time, GO MOST GLORIOUS EL BEISBOL CARDINALS! SWEEP THOSE DIRTY-ASSED SMALL BEARS!!

Senor Weaselo

If a Small Bear shits away a division lead…

LemonJello

Does Najeh Davenport get jealous?

SonOfSpam

BFIB We are all Darren Wilson!

(Also, can you please take Pujols back now? We’re done with him.)

King Hippo

Thank you FOAR saving us from ourselves. Much happier to keep Yadi. And we actually have a black guy now! An angry one, no less!

/Pujols and TLR were big devotees of Glenn Beck too, ppl forget that

SonOfSpam

All I see in today’s lineup are names like Pham and Wong. What is this, baseball or chess smdh.

King Hippo

Pham’s the angry black guy! His Dad was half black, half Vietnamese. He’s fucking great. Has a degenerative eye disease, if he could see the ball, he’d be Mike Trout.

SonOfSpam

Yeah, he’s a really good hitter for a blind guy. But don’t blaspheme…Trout is God.

Unsurprised

Nice

laserguru

You forgot one Balls.
Today you are Judge, Judy and Mexicutioner.

SonOfSpam

Thanks as always for the shoutout Balls, but I’m no hero; I’m just a man who likes making fun of Aaron Rodgers’ predilection for cocks.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Ooh, predeliction time! I predelict the Raiders are going to crush the Jets!”

– Emmit Smith

King Hippo

It will indeed be the most ireventfilled Suicide Pool week ever.

Game Time Decision

there’s no way this is an Emmitt Smith quote, it makes sense

LemonJello

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/I am none of these things in real life

If there’s a Quotables Hall of Fame, SonofSpam is a first ballot unanimous enshrinee just for this week alone.

nomonkeyfun

Your going to hell alternate for the JEST was perfect.

blaxabbath

“Thanks Blax!”

Sent from my Blackberry V2.3 on the Southwest Airlines Wifi Network brought to you by Verizon. Verizon: get it done on America’s fastest LTE network, covering more of the United States than any other carrier (plans and data rates subject to vary; offer not valid in Hawaii, Alaska, or Arkansas).

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Thanks Blax!”

“I’ll take ‘Things That Were Never Said During the Confederacy” for $800, Alex.”

SonOfSpam

The Lions did for years.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*Blaxberry.