So, NHL training camps opened this week. The important thing is that the return of hockey will bring me many national games to enjoy on the days between football games. There’s about three weeks of garbage hockey to get through before the Canucks can start letting me down for real. Luckily, a couple of them take place enough time zones away I won’t care.
The Kings & Canucks are going to China for a couple of games. The NHL is mandating that they take actual regular-season players, and not just kids they’re going to send down to Utica or Ontario (Cal.) once camps close. The Canucks are smart, though, and only taking one Sedin, because if they lose them both no one will be able to prata svenska to the rest of the power play once the season starts.
One thing I am looking forward to is anniversary beers. The Tampa Bay Lightning turn 25 this year, and to commemorate it they are having a special beer brewed for their home games (& hopefully for sale in local stores).
I’m sure Dave Andreychuk there has had more than a couple on the house, considering the ring he HELPED THE LIGHTNING STEAL from the Flames back in 2004.
Tonight’s sports:
- CFL:
- Eskimos at Argonauts – 7:00PM | TSN
- Lions at Stampeders – 10:00PM | TSN
- NCAA:
- LSU at Mississippi State – 7:00PM | ESPN
- Colorado State at Alabama – 7:00PM | ESPN2
- Clemson at Louisville – 8:00PM | ABC
- Texas at Southern Cal – 8:30PM | FOX
- San Jose State at Utah – 10:00PM | ESPN2
- Ole Miss at Cal – 10:30PM | ESPN
- UFC Fight Night:
- Rockhold vs. Branch
- Prelims – 8:00PM | FS1
- Mains – 10:00PM | FS1 / TSN2
- Rockhold vs. Branch
- Baseball:
- Blue Jays at Twins – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
I’m in Seattle tomorrow for the Seahawks home opener. Will there be stories? I HOPE SO!
How the crap has Texas not had a functional, college-level quarterback since Colt McCoy?
“I hear you brother.” — Vince Young
Is there a secret to getting this site to work on a phone?
I swear it’s like slow as hell for me and glitches like crazy….but only this site.
Another fucking BlackBerry?!!?
JSD just supporting his favoUrite place south of Toronto.
I don’t mess with this site on mobile, then again most mobile things are vastly inferior to their desktop counterparts in my humble opinion.
Like quarterbacks. Damn over-athletic gloreeeeee boyyyyys.
I don’t know what TV show I’m accidentally watching, but I WANT TO DIE IN A LAWN CHAIR
All right, music version of FMK, Darude-Sandstorm, Zombie Nation-Kernkraft 400, Seven Nation Army. WHO YA GOT?
Do I ever know, WCS? (But the obligatory and copious marching bands playing the last two every other goddamn play made me ask it.)
Love this WCS, thought the same thing.
F
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6120QOlsfU
M
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5LW07FTJbI
K
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0J2QdDbelmY
I’d probably switch the F and M on my end.
Cool, we can be Eskimo brothers!
Honestly, my main motivation is to see another version of this on Christmas Eve.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ph-wkS-4HfY
Except the snowballs would be at the home team.
Nice ’90s hair on the studio guys though.
2.001 / 10 would still not bang
We should have a post on who the fuck will go see a Chargers game this year
I nominate Low Commander, so we can read and watch the news about how a drunken, shirtless ex-Chargers fan attempted to break into the owner’s box with an axe and .40 caliber handgun.
STOMPSTOMPCLAP
I’d do it stone sober for the glory of the kommentariat. And LCSS.
I can knock off the Chargers and the Jets albeit in New York!
the Charlie Brown Xmas Tree of games!
if I hear of ANYONE that I know that went to one, I’ll write a post.
Cal game starts and the stadium is like one fifth filled.
A state that cannot regularly fill college stadiums has multiple NFL teams wanting to be ignored by the same assholes. Fascinating…
Correction: we don’t fill stadiums of SHITTY teams.
No bandwagon fans are more fickle than Californians.
False advertising! These are shells, not macaroni! It’s still super tasty though.
Kill them for their insolence!
/Due to legal reasons I do not condone killing them for their insolence.
WINK WINK NOD NOD
Memphis over UCLA…is that really that big of an upset?
ESPN is acting like is Alabama dropping to Towson State…
I’ve always wondered why they get to be Towson State when Towson is just a suburb of Baltimore.
It was originally a state home for wayward boys and imbeciles.
Then it was a TB hospital…than a state mental hospital….then a two year school…and now a really shitty four year school…though their telemarketing degree is pretty good compared to for profit schools.
Huh, the more you know. I appreciate the history. I once dated a guy who lived in Towson, until he got arrested for Vagrancy. However, that didn’t actually increase my knowledge of the school there.
Was he wayward boy and/or imbecile?
Being a wayward son would sure explain the carrying on, i.e. vagrancy.
It’s possible. When I started dating him he had both a job and a place to live, and lost both within 2 weeks. He was over 18, so probably not wayward boy, but maybe imbecile.
I’m making all that shit up.
I know UMBC, the school I went to, has a history like I described, but I know nothing of Towson’s history.
I like it, so I’m going to assume it’s true until I hear otherwise.
The Retrievers! WVU played them in hoops a few times last decade. Them and Maryland-Eastern Shore.
Don’t care if this embeds or not, cause I got lobster mac
Evening internetters. Ive missed you all this week.
YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!!
You don’t write, you don’t call…
Oh Hippo, i will give you this gem from my weed brain. Aresene Wenger = Marvin Lewis.
THAT would be an excellent Under One Roof!
I have an idea. I will email you later.
Oh my Lord, Jets tickets are going for nothing.
You can always count on when a team in the NYC/Philly area sucks, their ticket prices will fall through the floor.
That’s still way too much. CONSIDER THE HUMAN COST, Buddy.
They’re playing the Chargers on Christmas Eve this year. I want to go just to see the stadium look like something out of Blade Runner.
I already told the kids “Quiet Family Christmas at home” no matter what my idiot sister cooks up, given the NFL schedule. They want to drive up to the mountains the day after, we’ll talk,
/I will probably still stay at home with the cat
That sounds preferable to almost anything ever.
you are ready to recluse proper!
Is there a less intimidating/cool motto than Vandy’s “Anchor Down?”
One of the Arizonas’ is “Bear Down”
but at least that cross-references to that Community episode now
Buddy, no!
I’ve never understood Purdue’s, “Boiler up!” Or, for that matter, the Donks, “IN. COME. PLETE.”
I never knew that one. Purdue Pete seems even creepier now.
PREPARE YOUR ANUS
Wrong song and wrong band, but someone said “On The Road Again”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMqNFAU0tOw
Yay kitties! They have anuses that look like an asterisk!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OrCyGYyAkY
Texas. YOU DONE FUCKED UP
USC just pulled a Florida. Hole. E. Crap.
they just wanted Gus to be happy
I also looked at 49rs tickets. The Niners suck, so tickets are cheaper than Raiders tickets, but they still haven’t quite hit Bears ticket levels
Just go on SeatGeek a day before the game when people start to get desperate.
Yeah, I once made $50 by agreeing to watch a Browns game in person.
Hard way to earn cash though…
Oof
Is this really a USC v TEX game? Let’s find out:
Overhyped pro-style California-bred USC QB? Check.
“Athletic” “QB” for Texas who can’t really pass and will probably score a ☺ on the Wonderlic? Check.
Samoan USC linebacker with hair so long I can’t read his name? Check.
Seems good to me.
just like the gypsy woman foretold!
DARNOLDCEPTIONDOWN
I figured they’d take a knee. And now they just scored AGAIN.
I should go to a Raiders game once I move. I was looking at seating plans and that is one round stadium!
That’s why it smells like a day-old butthole all the time.
I heard Antifa is blocking Heyward Stadium because of the “Rebels” nickname. No seems too bothered by not being allowed entry though.
Cal fans are still chained up to pine trees outside the parking lot ,, ppl forget that.
/still beat U*NC
//SUCK IT HOLES!!!!
I’m in a German restaurant that I stopped in on a whim while doing errands. All I really wanted was a pretzel or something. Instead, I had chicken Jaeger Schnitzel with Spätzle and an Apple Struedel with ice cream, all accompanied with Oktoberfest music with a martial air. I am ready to take on the Polish menace head on. Sieg Heil!
Spätzle is one of my favorite dough based things to stuff in my face!
Also, unless they were playing “On the Road Again” they were doing Oompa music wrong
A clay mold of Danny DeVito’s penis is my favorite!
It wasn’t oom-pah music or polka or Beethoven. It was celebratory martial airs. While I listened to it all I could think was WE DON’T NEED GASOLINE WE CAN WIN
HA! Trojan QB (#14) could pass for Magary’s goofy little brother!
ATTENTION ATTENTION THERE HAS BEEN OFFENCE IN USC AND TEXAS THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is it a drug offence?
NO BUT IT SHOULD BE
MOAR LIEK offence against humanity
Lobster mac and cheese in the toaster oven smells fucking fantastic. Super happy I have another portion for the games tomorrow.
Another portion…for…tomorrow.
/knows all of those words
//has no idea what they mean in that order
(Finishes finishing entire pizza)
Bwha?
If you’re like me, chances are, there won’t be any for tomorrow. Mad respect for your restraint cause Lobster mac and cheese is amazing
The other portion is still in the fridge. No way I have the patience to reheat that after finishing the first
I spent my day marking, so I rewarded myself with Popeyes and am now stuffed on the couch watching the CFL Liouns shit the bed while I’m taping new hockey sticks. I don’t know if this what I’d call living my best life, but all things considered, it’s certainly not a bad one.
Fucking Stampeders.
Whatcha taping sticks up for? Got a game?
Beer league starts next week. Hit up my local pro shop, since the manager plays Thursday nights with us… two new Warriors that retail for $120 each… got both for $80 total. Guy’s a fuckin’ beauty.
Now that’s a deal. Makes me want to pay to go to the front of the line and get my needed surgery.
Make sure you buy him a beer one of these games
In my beer league there’s an ongoing spreadsheet as to who brings beer with factors like how new you are to them, etc.
My first time I ever had to bring beer, I got really good shit, including Oskar Blues stuff. One teammate opened an Old Chub (the beer, not what Buddy does at Oldies Night in the Village), took two sips, and then threw it in the trash, saying, “It’s not what I thought it would be.”
I wanted to murder him.
That’s fucking justifiable homicide.
Praiseworthy homicide, even.
fuck, now I want Popeye’s but tis all the way by the nudie bar
…You say that like it’s a problem…
I am pretty pilled out to drive to the nudie bar. That’s also lots of therapy to call your kids for a ride home at 3am.
therapy for you or the kids?
YES. I have enough guilt to be Catholic AND Jewish
LOOOOOVE THEM TITTIES BY POPEYE’S
POPE YES
ALSO PIZZA HUT MEANS PIZZA HAT IN GERMAN
And is a variety of adult film even Germans frown upon.
I tried a BK Lucky Charms shake during my break teaching. Out of all the things I have drank, it is one of them. Not one of the better ones, not the worst one (that will be day-old Arizona French Vanilla Soda Shaq soda, which was a real thing, in perpetuity), but one of them.
Impressive!
What exactly is IN a Lucky Charms shake? Is it literally what I’m imagining in my brain?
Maybe-vanilla shake? And then some cereal. And marshmallows. Which thanks to the shake is all soggy. Yeah, it’s probably what you imagine, your Popeyes definitely wins. I need to see if I can survive it again one of these days. After Chipotle, Five Guys, Shake Shack, etc.
I’ve been watching tons of tivoed Bob’s Burgers. It’s a really good show.
Yes. Yes it is.
If it happens to be on when I have the TV on, I watch it. It’s enjoyable
I am frequently surprised by the number of great lines that they get away with. Especially since it’s in the old king of the hill spot.
GUMBO finally moving the ball in garbage time, and their RB breaks his ankle. That kinda night.
Guice got sliced?
His ankle went straight Andouille
Was that the thing I looked up at where there were shittons of trainers surrounding a prone college player? Boo 🙁 College injuries suck even more than NFL injuries.
Guice was still in? They seven kinds of fucked then. He’s all they got.
Harry Belafonte is still stuck in my head from last night’s live blog. It’s cool. I got mac and cheese heating up right now. Ran into ICRM at the bar, it was good times.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcbB_nPAJT0
Time for me to leave this wedding reception.
“Cody”, who already looked very punchable to begin with, just drunkenly tracked me down to tell me that smoking is bad for me.
Now, I’m not saying Cody is wrong. But I’d left the reception area, and gone down onto the beach. Cody followed me. I’m thinking I’ve got a new friend, and it’s not the wedding planner.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that?
Feign ignorance. Have Cody explain to you about how smoking impacts your health. Be amazed. Drop the punchline “next thing you’re gonna tell me is that sex causes pregnancy or some shit like that!”
Goodness what a recipe for a beachside epiphany.
There’s no good way to deal with patronizing SOBs. I take refuge in heartless sarcasm.
I’d say, “I need to meet a woman like you” but I already have my mother.
Bam!
I’ve never smoked a cigarette in my life (just no desire to). I’d punch Cody in the dick if I ever heard that preachy bullshit. You should explain to him this and to make itbup, he needs to wingman you
Funny thing is, I don’t smoke. I’m on vacation, drinking, etc. So yeah, smoking some. So it’s somewhat amusing for this little dude to presume to tell me these things. He’s drunk as fuck, no doubt.
But under no circumstances do I need him as a wingman. That wouldn’t end well. Bad plan.
Could be worth the laugh?
Was he a vape salesman?
If you can’t be with the one you love, yada yada?
Worst part of getting hooked up with free food and drinking a ton of beer: The train ride home when you have to stand.
Who’s playing in the late game of Academic lesser footy?
Who cares! We’re gonn watche it anyway!
Touché
SIGH. It’s not like I write an entire preview article or sommet. Anyhoo, here is relevant snippet:
Stanford at San Diego State (10:30, CBSSN)
Fun game, everyone gets to find a new channel whilst crunk! The Aztecs, fresh off they Coed Bowl win, host the downtrodden Trees. Momentum in JV NFL tends to mean jack shit, though. Bettors beware…
Ole Miss at Cal (10:30, ESPN)
Interesting tweaker alternate game, in that it should at least be a shootout. Not sure Johnny Reb will travel that well, but also think Cal isn’t very good.
Sorry Broseph Stalin. My phone is on its last legs and if I dont quickly scroll down to the comments section, it’ll never load. My keyboard is also fucked.
ALL GOOD, Comrade Zillovich!
Has anyone here tried the Wild Turkey Honey Whiskey. That shit was my jam for a while back in college.
Then I had a night where I was drinking to forget, and that was what I had in my pantry. Since then, I just don’t enjoy it as much.
Ook?
think I’mma watch other matches now, Petrinos. You are disappoint
Oooops, Louisville.
That’s not how you defence, Papa John.
somebody gets no diarrhea pizza 2nite
All the more reason to play hard and win.
isn’t this the same Horns side that Fucking MARYLAND put up like 60 against week 1?
Sportsball is weird, man.
That;s not how you punt return, Dabo.
booze, a muscle relaxer, and a v-profen? Don’t mind if’n ah do?
/apologies, gets mo’ Southern when crunk
man they’s a train gettin’ run through them Gumbo buns 2nite!
You could use the Beastie Boys’ Sabotage in a paint commercial and it’d make me seriously consider buying some.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jWiWtIa01c&ab_channel=SrFranco
The one cautionary tale I got right seems to be the Chickens, down 14-6 at home to Kentucky at the half.
CLANGA lookin’ good. GUMBO lookin’ ungood.
USC QB just got stomped. His helmet came off.
uh oh, he’s “special” enough already!
how many players can LSU get ejected from a single game?
YOU GET CAN EJECTION! AND YOU GET AN EJECTION!
How many did they bring to the game?
GUMBO GUMBO GUMBO doing everything they can to lose tonight.
I live in L.A. and I don’t even know who the USC coach is this year, or the AD as well. Oh wait I forgot: I don’t care. I never did.
…Because you’re too busy going to rams and chargers games.
Shots: Fired.
(insert DFOHOF Pic of Crips Cafe or whatever it was)
Well I did go here for lunch.
As a long time die-hard fan of the Los Angeles Chargers for almost a week now I hate all these new bandwagon fans. This town is so shallow.
Can you design the Shitty Clippers logo? Thinking a REALLY nice LA-caliber boat, with a poo streaking down the sail.
KARMA DABO