Woof! So many delightful games! (I wrote this around noon-I have no idea) Here’s a preview of another NFC Championship Game. I can hear the wailing and gnashing of teeth from Cowboys fans near and far. And yes, they have a point. We’ll see how things shake out over the course of the season. TO THE GAME!
Packers/Falcons: Green Bay corners House, Rollins and Randall will draw straws to see who gets the honour of covering the most physically dominant wr in the game today (RIP Megatron) Hey, didn’t you think that Calvin Johnson was going to ‘retire’ the one year and come back? I’d have lost the house on that one I was so sure. Where are we? The Pack also has something called a “Nitro” package whereby they throw 6 db’s on to the field at one time-I’m curious to see that. Rodgers has done his part the last two games vs. Atlanta-he’s got a 7-1 TD/Int ratio and over 100 yards rushing. Between the ankle problem and coming down with the flu, the player whose name makes me giggle like a four year-old-Bryan Bulaga-may not suit up tonight. Look, I know in my heart of hearts he’s not a Beluga whale but some small part of me thinks that. When they start ascribing human characteristics to the guy I just lose it. Man, I’ve really lost the thread here.
Okay. Worst. Game. Preview. Ever. In my defense, I’m more alcohol than man at this point. Enjoy the festivities and comment like the unrepentant bastards that I know you are.
Keep feeding Coleman, keep feeding Coleman.
Do better Coleman, do better Coleman.
Fuck the New England Patriots!
Can we just make this the official greeting of DFO?
Honey, maybe 20 years ago when Chocolate Lightning Terry Glenn was all over the sideline!
I don’t know you at all but you could very well be a travesty of a human being.
I can’t argue this.
it’s a very good bet, whoever you’s talkin’ at
This was a response to the hairy ass pic that seems to have disappeared.
yeah, it was requested to be self-deleted, so I assisted the suicide
Thanks, Dr. Kevorkian!
But I have a nice personality and supposed to be a great conversationalist! That’s what my Match.com profile came up with at least. Probably shouldn’t have uploaded a picture.
I mean, yes, I am, but I still haven’t committed suicide yet so that’s a positive.
THIS GAME I CALL IT LENA DUNHAM BECAUSE IT’S UNWATCHABLE AND FILLED WITH PEOPLE WHO DEFEND FINGERING YOUR SISTER
I cannot understand her appeal.
Well of course not, she’s your sister. But I quite enjoyed fingering her.
So I’ve caught a couple episodes of Girls (yes, I know, I was bored and had HBO in the hotel) and she’s a talented writer. I think she’s very good at capturing and reproducing her world view as a vain urban white girl. She just has no self-awareness that a vain urban white girl isn’t relatable or likable to most people.
She also has anti-charisma and can’t act for shit.
Agreed. She’s just playing herself and she personally isn’t charismatic.
Howdy.
Rodgers gets swallowed up…
Nope, not gonna do it.
Now that I am Julio and +12 in the clubhouse…up to 95%
/fix yo’ algorithm
Gentlemen.
*belches in reply*
*scratches ass and sharts*
Last Week Tonight won for best writing
Was it cursive?
No, Wingdings.
SEE! Hollywoo is still defiantly liberal!! I betcha Trump and Bannon are quaking in they boots, yeah?
just wait for the awkward 9-5 reunion to hit the youtubes the cringe on dollys face when Lily Tomlin called Trump a sexist egomaniac was priceless.
Pizza is here. IPA #3 is almost history. 14-7. Pretty sure Matt Ryan is a cyborg.
UNSEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This was the exact moment I went up to go take a piss and the Mrs. gets a look at my laptop.
Thanks for that.
The best part is the edit button has vanished so I can’t remove this.
Aww… it got deleted.
It’s for the best.
If Freeman was Coleman I’d be sitting pretty in my money league right now.
Way to skirt over Sark’s dangerously ridiculous levels of alcoholism in your commentary, you fucking wieners.
Close to home for Al.
AND MOST GLORIOUS COMMENTIST PARTY!
Just saw where Bobby “The Brain” Heenan has died. I loved watching him when I used to watch wrestling either as announcer or manager.
Iwon’tmakeanyAaronRodgersgayjokesIwon’tmakeanyAaronRodgersgayjokesIwon’tmakeanyAaronRodgersgayjokesIwon’tmakeanyAaronRodgersgayjokes…
really, they make themselves
Skarsgard won for showing his junk on Big Little Lies
I show my junk to the guys next door all the time. What do I win? Nothing!
Do you look like a Viking vampire?
Depends. Do you do a lot of drugs?
Well, you did get that free sign to put in your yard, and no kids bother you during Halloween. There is that.
Kids are the best! Uh, I mean, the worst. The worst. I don’t like them at all.
Nice try, Mr. Sandusky. Your session on the prison library internet has expired now.
Good lawd I could only imagine what would be on that browsing history.
Damn those LED lights look good.
Who asked for Will and Grace to come back?
Probably Will.
I’m surprised they didn’t come back as a transgender mixed-race couple.
oh there will be many VERY NON-THREATENING Bruce/forgotladyname Jenner jokes buhlee dat!
I foresee a reboot, produced and directed by Lena Dunham. That’s exactly what America wants right now.
You voted for MAGA. Now it’s time to bear the responsibility.
Cold chicken wings and nacho dip on tap. Bathe in my greatness.
Nacho dip on tap? You ARE from Wisconsin! Or attended my wedding.
/jk. Cheese tap was veteoed.
Doughnut tower was non-negotiable however
Doughnut tower?
Right? How does this guy know my penis nickname?
A tower of cherry-filled and lemon-filled doughnuts. All for me. Hold please.
That’s a lot of cold milk.
Yahoo thinks I only have a 94% chance of hanging onto my win (ie, 6% odds of Julio scoring minus 10 the rest of the way) in non-moneyball.
97% for me.
I spent the last hour or so mowing the grass. My time was well spent.
Ben McAdoo’s journal entry for the day?
GLORIOUS!!
Matt Ryan with an incompletion to the invisible dude out on the flats.
I’m watching the game in a semi-dive bar, solo. There’s reggae on the speakers and a light rain falling outside the door. I’m on IPA #2 and there’s a pepperoni pizza on the way. Perhaps a bowl at halftime
/living the dream/
Man. What kind of bar lets you rip bong on the premises? That’s amazing.
The bestest kind.
I’ve been to plenty that allow you to rip bung on premises!
Well, it is Washington.
And the parking lot looks adequate.
I assumed he was talking about Cheerios. It’s part of a balanced breakfast you guys!
From where I stand, that’s not a bad deal.
Is Aaron Rodgers allowed to eat Chick-Fil-A?
Only out back behind the dumpster.
Hmmmm… Chick-Fil-A CEO joke or “eating chicks” joke? Decisions.
I’m out. The parents have broken me and I am going to sleep at 9pm just so the fucking morning gets here that quicker and they are out of my fucking house.
I mean it is fitting this stadium is shaped like a fart box, because they shit all over the field 7 months ago.
oh, Mercedes-Benz. You NEVAR go ass-to-mouth.
In Germany you just pay a bit extra for that.
Suprise Alec Baldwin wins for being Trump
#theResistance
Hollywood is transparently ridiculous
Did Alabama not generate enough fat running backs for Green Bay to replenish their stock?
Speaking of which fat Lacy has really done a lot for the Heaux after getting his incentive money
Keepin his pimp hand strong.
In light of German sensitivities, Mercedes-Benz insisted that the stadium be shaped as such. Also, the Falcon had be two headed.
I understand that there’s going to be four separate practise facilities all on the perimeter of the main stadium?
“Ze quarterback must be Aryan… oh shit, no worries!”
Good news. Tonight the stadium is open aryan.
I’ve shut off my money league fantasy scoretracker, but it’s possible that googleplex Davante AdamsDOWNS would be of assistance.
/awaits his 3 catches for 38 yards, reminding me of why one NEVAR buys a Packers’ WR
Unless it’s Jordy Nelson. Adams and Cobb seem to flip a coin on who’s gonna be good and who’s gonna be shitty on a very regular basis
I think I had him the year he shredded his knee
oh shit yeah I forgot about that lol. That was a bad year.
Javon Walker is a lock!
The new Falcons home: Prolapse Player Stadium
Fuck Football, let’s watch the Emmys.
Handmaid’s Tale wins over The Americans, Better Call Saul, and Westworld.
Fuck the Emmys I guess.
Always and forever.
I believe this is what you’re looking for…
http://jezebel.com/hold-on-to-your-butts-its-jezebels-69th-emmy-awards-li-1818493646
EWWWWW JEZEBEL
I mean if one wants scheisse porn, why not just go for the genuine, full-German article?
“The Imagination Agency” ???
Name of his publishing company that does kid’s books.
Just because you’ve never heard of it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
See “Texans, Houston”
I’m calling the new Falcons stadium “The Turd Cutter” until I think of something more obscene.
“Billion Dollar Butthole”
It’s not super obscene, but I’m a fan of Mercedes-Buttz stadium
Casablumpkin?
Goats.tadium
Schisse of the South
Oh fuck off already!
So the relaxing of the celebration rules is definitely a good thing
Yay fantasy, boo reality. True as always.
“Yay fantasy, boo reality.”
-pretty much every porn star ever
Every porn watcher, too.
KOOOOOBE
Childish Gambino won for directing
Ha-Ha Clinton-Dix will never cease to amuse me by his mere existence
Sort of like Pacman Jones never fails to frighten me being out of prison
‘Ha-Ha Clinton Dix’ was Ken Starr’s code for the impeachment process.
I’ll always have a soft spot for him because when my dad was dying, hearing the name Ha-Ha Clinton-Dix still always made him laugh.
Did the Seahawks game eventually end? I stopped paying attention
Seahawks-Niners games are the Hotel California of NFL matchups.
I really like the Falcons owner when he was the bad guy in Death Wish 3.
My mother just spent 30 minutes explaining to me how nice that singer is because she doesn’t wear “whorish cloths”…
I’m pretty sure I saw a flash of vag during that opening segment.
More like Carrie Underhood, amirite?
Al you are not funny so finish your mint julep and talk over Collinsworth. Cut the slapstick routine fucko.
Oh, before I forget. Good evening.
This is the final boss of Reddit right here.
The Bernie sticker is multi-level funny.
I wouldn’t expect this guy to be a big fan of Jewish dickheads
Here’s the TLC tugger. It stretches your dick out.
Don’t scroll too far down on that website. Christ.
I for one love the idea of being so obsessed with my dick’s supposed inadequacies that I’d literally risk ripping it apart to fix it
It doesn’t work, but hurts a lot.
I mean, I read something about it…yeah.
What’s great about these anti-circumcision folks is they’re entirely full of shit. A friend of mine had to get circumcised in his 20’s and do you know what he said about sex before and after? It’s basically the same.
It took two hours for the anus to open. I know I’m aging because i can relate some days.
Lithgow with the upset win
Welll upset for me considering who he was up against and how everyone has been up This is Us’s ass
ENTER THE ROBOANUS
Ah, here’s the one that finally got me.
I don’t see what James Ellsworth has to do with this
Alex Jones 1.0
I swear to god if my parents don’t stop leaving all the lights on and blasting the fucking TV so damn loud…
/Checks which test Virginia uses for temporary insanity defense purely out of curiosity.
EDIT: Ah, the M’Naghten Rule; applying the Irresistible Impulse Test