Onwards Towards Legitimate Autumn Lesser Footy

Summer 2017 is finally going away, thank God, and Lesser Footy wants to be a part of helping you forget.  Won’t you please just let it into your living room and/or recluse unabomber shack?

17th position (almost as shite as Everton!) West Ham host 5th place Spurs to kick everything off (7:25, NBCSN).  Spurs could use a good kicking of somebody’s teeth in, as I was shocked to see them actually a point behind fucking Newcastle.  There’s a reason the saying goes “don’t even look at the table until 10 matches in.”  But holy Christ, have a word.

The 10am window is garbage, with tied for 1st City hosting worst side to open Premier League play in history of EVAR, Crystal Palace (NBCSN) your lead option.  Stoke and Chelsea are on CNBC (meh), and if you want anything else (like the suckfest Toffees hosting yeah right’s Cherries), you’ll have to pay for it.

Leicester host Liverpool in this week’s spotlight dance (12:30, NBC), but in 15th position, our Foxes don’t look to be on form enough to make me laugh at the German Elton John’s misfortunes.  Que lastima.

There is only one, dull Sunday match – Brighton & Hove v. Newcastle (11:00, NBCSN), and you are most certainly not excused from mandatory Commentist NFL London game duty.  Arsenal and West Brom (3:00, NBCSN) is a surprising Monday Night footy matchup, in that the Albion are actually higher in the table (10th v. 12th) going in.

NC State at Florida State (Noon, ABC/ESPN2)

Historically, my shitty wolves have been pests against their hostile Native American counterparts.  They are breaking in a new, uber-skinny freshman QB against several NFL prospects along NC State’s DL.  But the speed and athleticism advantage everywhere else on the field is so great, I still suspect it won’t matter.  If it does, it will be because Jimbo is as stupid as the name would indicate.

Texas Tech at Houston (Noon, ESPN2/ABC)

Mirror image coverage game!  Very interesting interleague, intrastate battle between two programs who live in the shadows of bigger names who produce jack shit.  There is an opportunity in particular for Guns Up!! to progress in the Big 12-ish this season, with so much fire power concentrated in OK.

Texas A&M v. Arkansas in JerralWorld (Noon, ESPN)

Again…I would give my left nut (not like I’m using it anyway) to have Kevin Sumlin coaching in Raleigh.  But if he loses this one, he might as well start packing.  And Pig!  Sooey!! needs a win very badly, too.  Another interesting one.

TCU at Oklahoma State (3:30, ESPN)

On paper, this looks like the first legitimate test for BDSM State, but from what I’ve seen…Bloodeyes don’t have the firepower to keep up, especially not in Stillwater.  Oh yeah, that’s a paddlin’ – just how they likes it.  Weird fuckers.

Michigan at Purdue (4:00, Fox)

I would really like for this to be a trap game, as the Boilers look much improved.  But really, it’s just a weak window of games.

Oklahoma at Baylor (6:30, FS1)

Not too much fun when the rape shoe is on the other foot, eh?

Mississippi State at Georgia (7:00, ESPN)

OK, you beat the tar shit out of LSU.  But that was at home, in front of your delirium-inducing bell ringing.  Go between the hedges and show us what the fuck you really got.

Florida at Kentucky (7:30, SECN)

Lots of really shitty games getting national coverage, but the Gators aren’t much account and the Wildcats just won on the road in Chicken Land (as I warned ya they might).   Interesting match-up alert.

Washington at Colorado (10:00, FS1)

The Huskies and Buffs both lost lots of talent from their PAC 12 title game sides, but this should still be fun to watch.

UCLA at Standford (10:30, ESPN)

Here’s your ultimate in late night tweaker fun-time action.  Two wounded animals, equally needing the win.  But Stanford is wounded and at home.  Can they force tempo against Chosen Rosen and his tribe of Israelites?  Caffeinate to see!

 

0 0 votes
Article Rating
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
Subscribe
Notify of
461 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Redshirt

UNLV just caught OSU napping.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Cut it to 30, did they?

ballsofsteelandfury

To be fair, isn’t everyone watching that game napping by now?

scotchnaut

“Feeling Chubby.”

-NC State D

scotchnaut

Your guys remind me of the Giants last year-they gotta get it done on D and pray that the O can score just enough.

theeWeeBabySeamus

shit
that is all

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Holding ’em to 3 here would be kinda huge-ish.

scotchnaut

Best advice I can give to the NCSU? Substitute Wolfpack for Sloopy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoZ5JL3gmHo

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

scotchnaut

Nightmare on Porn Street? My guess is no porn.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Many years ago I was surprised as hell by a girlfriend’s cat licking my balls during a great session of lovemaking. Unfortunately, in spite of my best efforts “Ted” would not do it again.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fucking tease. We hate Ted now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

scotchnaut
scotchnaut

GRRRRRRR.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Redshirt

Wow. Quadruple Script Ohio.

WCS

“Lebron and Steph Curry should just stick to sports. Stop disrespecting the President!” — Clay Travis

“What have THUGS like Curry and Lebron REALLY done, anyway?!” — Britt McHenry

scotchnaut

HALFTIME! continued- The War On Drugs Covers “Touch Of Grey”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72OLupNWNho

scotchnaut

HALFTIME! Time for Lloyd Cole and The Commotions

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSc46sEZdl4

theeWeeBabySeamus

Too bad we can’t opt to quit and go home now.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Also, I want to punch Jimbo Fisher in the head a few dozen times if that’s cool with everyone?

Spur

Trump hasn’t responded to LeBron yet. I wonder which staffer has been tasked to hide his phone and TV remote.

herodotus450

Sports Mongoloids vs. trumpians, now there’s a candidate for meteor ending if I’ve ever seen one.

herodotus450

Did they just call 3 time outs in a row?

Spur

These timeouts brought to you by Bud Light

scotchnaut

When I was his age, I drank an entire mickey of rye while walking the length of a football field. This Blackman kid might have accomplished more. Jury? What say you?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Future 2nd round NFL pick?

herodotus450

Is this the adopted Aguyao?

theeWeeBabySeamus

NC State just broked a Blackman in Florida. This could be bad.

scotchnaut

LOOK AT YOU, NCSU!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m obviously the only one watching Malaga – Athletic…

scotchnaut

Hi Obviously! [waves]

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

herodotus450

Make Galaga Great Again

theeWeeBabySeamus

My god our defensive backfield is just…shit.

Spur

Hold our beer – Dallas Cowboys Defensive Backfield

Spur

From Chris Paul‏ @CP3
And I doubt he’s man enough to call any of those players a son of a bitch to their face…

Redshirt

Backup OSU QB looks good

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

scotchnaut

I giggled.

Spur

WOLFPACK

WCS

Butch Jones’ squadron is up on the mighty UMass Minutemen, 7-6 at halftime.

herodotus450

Lexington Thomas with the TD? It’s good to see he went back to school after his, uh, other, career. no homo.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey, that was kinda fun.

scotchnaut

HOLY BANANA CAKES!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Redshirt

Touchdown UNLV. The comeback begins…

WCS

Does Pope Urban slit a walk-on’s throat at halftime?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Don’t even require virgins now days.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*Can’t find any anyway.

Spur

So Melo, Russ and PG13. Three ball dominant guys. I love it. FUCK OKC!

scotchnaut

On talent alone they’ll do very well in the regular season. On alone talent they’ll crap out early in the playoffs.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yup, will be down at the half. FSU will cover in the 2nd half.
SSDD.

Spur

Florida State is losing at home. NICE.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Holy Shit. Color me shocked.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

This is gonna suck when it gets overturned.

theeWeeBabySeamus

yep

Spur

Breaking NBA news. Melo is going to the Thunder. As a Spur fan this pleases, i was very worried about OKC before but now I’m giddy. Melo is a cancer.

scotchnaut

I’m a huge Cuse fan and think the same thing. I can’t even approach the subject on fan boards otherwise I’d be set on fire and hung. He’s Alex English or Mark Aguirre-volume scorers that dragged their teams down.

WCS

Good Lord, Ohio State…

comment image

Spur

Whipping on cupcakes is Ohio State’s bread and butter. It makes them feel tough.

Spur

Folks!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just finished watching the GWS-Richmond replay. Is it too early for whisky?

scotchnaut

It’s 1:07 here. Seems like just the right time.

/IF you were productive this morning

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Still morning here AND I have to drive to IKEA. I may need ALL the whisky today.

scotchnaut

Have as many meatballs as you see fit and send me the bill. I’m good for it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nobody told ME there were meatballs.

scotchnaut

Are YOU at IKEA? That’s what I thought…

ballsofsteelandfury

Sorry bud!

I stayed up until halftime and then crashed. You can blame the second half on me.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

They looked so good until the third! I blame the concussion.

ballsofsteelandfury

I agree. That was a big moment in the game.

Redshirt

The rout is on in Columbus.

WCS

Cripes, they might actually cover…

scotchnaut

Detective gonna stick his hand into Sweeney’s cookie jar.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, now I think you’re just watching porn.

Redshirt

Porn can have a plot.

scotchnaut

It’s just that most of the time it chooses not to.

ballsofsteelandfury

That house is not going to buy itself!

WCS

DID IT ALL FOR THE NOOKIE (YEAH)
ALL FOR THE NOOKIE (YEAH)
SO YOU CAN TAKE THAT COOKIE
AND STICK IT IN YOUR (YEAH)

scotchnaut

It defies belief that anyone’s secondary is as bad as the Saints.

theeWeeBabySeamus

And yet….

herodotus450

Poorly located, falling apart due to years of neglect, and only salvagable by a billion dollar effort from the army corp of engineers?