Onwards Towards Legitimate Autumn Lesser Footy

King Hippo

King Hippo

Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan.Also a proud fookin’ Evertonian.Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child.[Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
King Hippo

Summer 2017 is finally going away, thank God, and Lesser Footy wants to be a part of helping you forget.  Won’t you please just let it into your living room and/or recluse unabomber shack?

17th position (almost as shite as Everton!) West Ham host 5th place Spurs to kick everything off (7:25, NBCSN).  Spurs could use a good kicking of somebody’s teeth in, as I was shocked to see them actually a point behind fucking Newcastle.  There’s a reason the saying goes “don’t even look at the table until 10 matches in.”  But holy Christ, have a word.

The 10am window is garbage, with tied for 1st City hosting worst side to open Premier League play in history of EVAR, Crystal Palace (NBCSN) your lead option.  Stoke and Chelsea are on CNBC (meh), and if you want anything else (like the suckfest Toffees hosting yeah right’s Cherries), you’ll have to pay for it.

Leicester host Liverpool in this week’s spotlight dance (12:30, NBC), but in 15th position, our Foxes don’t look to be on form enough to make me laugh at the German Elton John’s misfortunes.  Que lastima.

There is only one, dull Sunday match – Brighton & Hove v. Newcastle (11:00, NBCSN), and you are most certainly not excused from mandatory Commentist NFL London game duty.  Arsenal and West Brom (3:00, NBCSN) is a surprising Monday Night footy matchup, in that the Albion are actually higher in the table (10th v. 12th) going in.

NC State at Florida State (Noon, ABC/ESPN2)

Historically, my shitty wolves have been pests against their hostile Native American counterparts.  They are breaking in a new, uber-skinny freshman QB against several NFL prospects along NC State’s DL.  But the speed and athleticism advantage everywhere else on the field is so great, I still suspect it won’t matter.  If it does, it will be because Jimbo is as stupid as the name would indicate.

Texas Tech at Houston (Noon, ESPN2/ABC)

Mirror image coverage game!  Very interesting interleague, intrastate battle between two programs who live in the shadows of bigger names who produce jack shit.  There is an opportunity in particular for Guns Up!! to progress in the Big 12-ish this season, with so much fire power concentrated in OK.

Texas A&M v. Arkansas in JerralWorld (Noon, ESPN)

Again…I would give my left nut (not like I’m using it anyway) to have Kevin Sumlin coaching in Raleigh.  But if he loses this one, he might as well start packing.  And Pig!  Sooey!! needs a win very badly, too.  Another interesting one.

TCU at Oklahoma State (3:30, ESPN)

On paper, this looks like the first legitimate test for BDSM State, but from what I’ve seen…Bloodeyes don’t have the firepower to keep up, especially not in Stillwater.  Oh yeah, that’s a paddlin’ – just how they likes it.  Weird fuckers.

Michigan at Purdue (4:00, Fox)

I would really like for this to be a trap game, as the Boilers look much improved.  But really, it’s just a weak window of games.

Oklahoma at Baylor (6:30, FS1)

Not too much fun when the rape shoe is on the other foot, eh?

Mississippi State at Georgia (7:00, ESPN)

OK, you beat the tar shit out of LSU.  But that was at home, in front of your delirium-inducing bell ringing.  Go between the hedges and show us what the fuck you really got.

Florida at Kentucky (7:30, SECN)

Lots of really shitty games getting national coverage, but the Gators aren’t much account and the Wildcats just won on the road in Chicken Land (as I warned ya they might).   Interesting match-up alert.

Washington at Colorado (10:00, FS1)

The Huskies and Buffs both lost lots of talent from their PAC 12 title game sides, but this should still be fun to watch.

UCLA at Standford (10:30, ESPN)

Here’s your ultimate in late night tweaker fun-time action.  Two wounded animals, equally needing the win.  But Stanford is wounded and at home.  Can they force tempo against Chosen Rosen and his tribe of Israelites?  Caffeinate to see!

 

King Hippo
King Hippo

Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin’ Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]

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scotchnaut
Member

Detective knocks over “Specials” board and sees the girlie’s drawings.

scotchnaut
Member

Things are coming to a head!

WCS
Member

Phrasing! Boom!

scotchnaut
Member

IT’S THE RICH BITCH! AND IT’S ALL ABOUT MONEY!!!

WCS
Member

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I’m really liking Blackman, btw.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Shit….never mind.

Redshirt
Member

The Safety Gods demand a review

Redshirt
Member

After review, the gods are pleased

WCS
Member

Can you dance if you want to? Can you leave your friends behind?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

For the uninitiated, the is the part of the game where NC State often forgets to play defense for a little while.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

… A fart that could end a marriage.

scotchnaut
Member

GO FOR IT, NCU!

scotchnaut
Member

Btw, thanks for sending all your laundry over the ‘net. I’ve done five loads and I’m nowhere near done.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

So you’re still taking loads?

scotchnaut
Member

Hello old lady that doesn’t do anything but drop info that furthers the plot.

scotchnaut
Member

She’s falling for the lead detective that she previously butted heads with. TENSION! Sexual and otherwise.

Redshirt
Member

Good for the school district for standing up for their rights, but from history from multiple late night school bus trips from band competitions, I can already imagine some smart ass claiming to be TS girl so he can be with his girlfriend then when caught fooling around under the blanket during a “hand check” claiming to also be a lesbian.

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/transgender-high-school-students-kicked-off-bus/ar-AAsmyRc?li=BBmkt5R&ocid=ientp

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Standing up for their rights to discriminate! YEA!

WCS
Member

Kansas’s punter is named Colt Moose. Expect him to be the new star on Chicago PD next fall.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Wow, this guy sucks.

– NC State defense re: Blackman

Nawt Raycess.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Hey, Doeren has slimmed down.
Must be all the exercise from packing and updating his resume.

scotchnaut
Member

Don’t you hate when you’re flipping back and forth between NC State and the cooking mystery and both are on commercial? I do.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Which has more random fat people in the background?

scotchnaut
Member

I’m going with the football game by an order of infinity.

Redshirt
Member

OSU Defense is letting UNLV move the ball and are bailing them out with dumb penalties. If OSU’s offense didn’t run down the field like The Flash their first drive, I’d be nervous.

scotchnaut
Member

She thought she could defend herself with…a rolling pin.

scotchnaut
Member

Lots of self-doubt going on. She’s gonna pull through by focusing on what she does best-baking!

/CUE THE MONTAGE!

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

/CUMS, HARD

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Thank Christ they called the holding…at least we get the down back now.
That was fugly.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

or not

Redshirt
Member

“I haven’t heard about Ohio State’s game this week. Do they have a bye week?’

(see opponent)

“Oh, they do.”

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Notre Dame?

WCS
Member

OSU was a 55 point favorite. That’s absurd.

Redshirt
Member

Damn it! I would’ve taken a piece of that action.

scotchnaut
Member

She sneaks up on a house but slams the car door? GODDAMNIT SWEENEY!

scotchnaut
Member

Dead Guy Alert!

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Some date he turned out to be, amirite

Though a stiffy is a terrible thing to waste.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

FSU’s green QB ain’t turribly quick so far.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Round is a shape. Just ask Jameis.

Oh, wait. That’s not the joke I wanted. Jameis is a rapist. That’s it.

scotchnaut
Member

“Oh great, another Blackman at qb. They’re taking our jobs!”

-Ted Nugent

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

The only thing Ted Nugent could ever do is shit himself.

Horatio Cornblower
Member

And adopt a teenager so he could fuck it.

Redshirt
Member

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

How is Mike Patrick still alive?

WCS
Member

Same can said for Keith Richards. And Harry Dean Stanton. Oh, wait…

scotchnaut
Member

Time to do some detective-ing at a fancy-schmancy get-together.

scotchnaut
Member

Snobby McBetterthanyou looks like another candidate.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Hey, I just realized my ex wife would have been 49 today.
You know, if’n not for the whole dying thing a coupla years ago.

Horatio Cornblower
Member

Hey, congratulations on that big NC State wi….

Oh. Oh hey.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Since she’s an ex, are we celebrating the birth or the death?

scotchnaut
Member

She working out her suspicions on her “Daily Specials” board!

scotchnaut
Member

She’s surprised that she likes this guy because… she’s a workaholic? Her priorities are all askew!

scotchnaut
Member

The baseball coach looks like the bad guy. Is he a red herring?

scotchnaut
Member

She way nervous about this date. Of course she’s gonna be a bombshell in a tight red dress.

scotchnaut
Member

It’s a black dress. I was way off.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

The black dress should also be way off.

scotchnaut
Member

If you’re tired of football (yes, I realize this is impossible) the Gusto channel is showing Murder, She Baked: A Chocolate Chip Cookie Mystery. If you like delightful confections with your grisly crimes, this has your name on it.

WCS
Member

Gusto Channel isn’t a real thing.

scotchnaut
Member

IT’S REAL IN THE CANADA, DAMN IT!!!

WCS
Member

The Canada isn’t a real thing, either.

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scotchnaut
Member

Oh My God. Then who is typing? I’m more than a little scared.

scotchnaut
Member

The star of the show so far is Alison Sweeney’s cleavage. I’m sure that pair is going to outsmart the culprit.

ArmedandHammered
Member
ArmedandHammered

Wow. Crystal Palace really does suck.

ArmedandHammered
Member
ArmedandHammered

Is CP the Brownsiest of the Premier League?

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

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blaxabbath
Member

So the mrs and I are off to the gun place for some pistol 101 class we Groupon’d. While I feel comfortable enough with firearms, I’m not interested in training her. Plus it’s probably a good idea to get reacquainted with some of the basics since Trump isn’t going to fucking build the wall.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Thinking about Mrs Blax with a sidearm is making me all tingly.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

My liver hates me.

Shogun Marcus
Member

You know how to shut it up right?

WCS
Member

WCS
Member

Excellent sign from the Vandy-Bama pregame:

I TOOK THE SAT FOR (Bama quarterback) JALEN HURTS

litre_cola
Member

Oh there’s going to be some fightin in Glasgow. Celtic up 2 nil at Rangers. When I lived there the 1st question any male asks you is who do you support? Safest thing was to say Dundee.

WCS
Member

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litre_cola
Member

So true. So true.

scotchnaut
Member
scotchnaut
Member

I’m doing laundry this morning so if you’ve got any dirties toss ’em over the interweb and I’ll take care of them for you.

WCS
Member

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They’re not paying me enough for this shit, man.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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