Onwards Towards Legitimate Autumn Lesser Footy

King Hippo

King Hippo

Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan.Also a proud fookin’ Evertonian.Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child.[Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
King Hippo

Latest posts by King Hippo (see all)

Summer 2017 is finally going away, thank God, and Lesser Footy wants to be a part of helping you forget.  Won’t you please just let it into your living room and/or recluse unabomber shack?

17th position (almost as shite as Everton!) West Ham host 5th place Spurs to kick everything off (7:25, NBCSN).  Spurs could use a good kicking of somebody’s teeth in, as I was shocked to see them actually a point behind fucking Newcastle.  There’s a reason the saying goes “don’t even look at the table until 10 matches in.”  But holy Christ, have a word.

The 10am window is garbage, with tied for 1st City hosting worst side to open Premier League play in history of EVAR, Crystal Palace (NBCSN) your lead option.  Stoke and Chelsea are on CNBC (meh), and if you want anything else (like the suckfest Toffees hosting yeah right’s Cherries), you’ll have to pay for it.

Leicester host Liverpool in this week’s spotlight dance (12:30, NBC), but in 15th position, our Foxes don’t look to be on form enough to make me laugh at the German Elton John’s misfortunes.  Que lastima.

There is only one, dull Sunday match – Brighton & Hove v. Newcastle (11:00, NBCSN), and you are most certainly not excused from mandatory Commentist NFL London game duty.  Arsenal and West Brom (3:00, NBCSN) is a surprising Monday Night footy matchup, in that the Albion are actually higher in the table (10th v. 12th) going in.

NC State at Florida State (Noon, ABC/ESPN2)

Historically, my shitty wolves have been pests against their hostile Native American counterparts.  They are breaking in a new, uber-skinny freshman QB against several NFL prospects along NC State’s DL.  But the speed and athleticism advantage everywhere else on the field is so great, I still suspect it won’t matter.  If it does, it will be because Jimbo is as stupid as the name would indicate.

Texas Tech at Houston (Noon, ESPN2/ABC)

Mirror image coverage game!  Very interesting interleague, intrastate battle between two programs who live in the shadows of bigger names who produce jack shit.  There is an opportunity in particular for Guns Up!! to progress in the Big 12-ish this season, with so much fire power concentrated in OK.

Texas A&M v. Arkansas in JerralWorld (Noon, ESPN)

Again…I would give my left nut (not like I’m using it anyway) to have Kevin Sumlin coaching in Raleigh.  But if he loses this one, he might as well start packing.  And Pig!  Sooey!! needs a win very badly, too.  Another interesting one.

TCU at Oklahoma State (3:30, ESPN)

On paper, this looks like the first legitimate test for BDSM State, but from what I’ve seen…Bloodeyes don’t have the firepower to keep up, especially not in Stillwater.  Oh yeah, that’s a paddlin’ – just how they likes it.  Weird fuckers.

Michigan at Purdue (4:00, Fox)

I would really like for this to be a trap game, as the Boilers look much improved.  But really, it’s just a weak window of games.

Oklahoma at Baylor (6:30, FS1)

Not too much fun when the rape shoe is on the other foot, eh?

Mississippi State at Georgia (7:00, ESPN)

OK, you beat the tar shit out of LSU.  But that was at home, in front of your delirium-inducing bell ringing.  Go between the hedges and show us what the fuck you really got.

Florida at Kentucky (7:30, SECN)

Lots of really shitty games getting national coverage, but the Gators aren’t much account and the Wildcats just won on the road in Chicken Land (as I warned ya they might).   Interesting match-up alert.

Washington at Colorado (10:00, FS1)

The Huskies and Buffs both lost lots of talent from their PAC 12 title game sides, but this should still be fun to watch.

UCLA at Standford (10:30, ESPN)

Here’s your ultimate in late night tweaker fun-time action.  Two wounded animals, equally needing the win.  But Stanford is wounded and at home.  Can they force tempo against Chosen Rosen and his tribe of Israelites?  Caffeinate to see!

 

King Hippo
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello
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LemonJello

I go have some dinner and the Boilermakers have shit all over the field.

Is this why we can’t have nice things?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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the Alpha and the Amoeba
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the Alpha and the Amoeba

So, this is a couple hours late, but Moose’s Harry Potter post below reminded me of this quite excellent video.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude
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JustStopDude

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“WHO’S A GOOD SNAKEY?!? SNAKEY IS A GOOD SNAKEY!”

WCS
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Imagine seeing this gif while dropping a deuce.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello
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LemonJello

That Trash Panda lurves him some liquid cocaine with his kibble.

JustStopDude
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JustStopDude

Our future leaders people…

Never mind…broken link…

BrettFavresColonoscopy
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Passing on It with the Cornblowers, but we may go see Kingsman 2: Electric Boogaloo tonight. So hopefully Channing Tatum gets me laid tonight.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla
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I think it was Horatio who was going to watch IT tonight. If you watch IT first, you might be in for a freaky night:

https://www.google.ca/amp/s/www.vice.com/amp/en_ca/article/j5g5v3/people-want-to-fuck-the-clown-from-it

herodotus450
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herodotus450

Redshirt
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Holy crap! They’re doing an episode about Huey, Duey and Louie’s mother?!

Horatio Cornblower
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That’s no way to talk about Purdue’s offense, sir.

Redshirt
Member

I don’t give a flying feather about…. oh, wait they’re playing Michigan.

Yay, beat Micihigan you (looks up team team) a Boilermaker?! They’re named after a drink?! Now, this a team that I can…oh wait Its named after a train. Still kind of neat, but not as much as a cocktail.

JustStopDude
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JustStopDude

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Just a molder of men…

LemonJello
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LemonJello

Did they photoshop the Marlboro Red out of his hand?

Horatio Cornblower
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Apparently I’m going to see ‘It’ tonight and am getting laid.

God I hope it’s in the reverse order.

Redshirt
Member

Are the two actions related or it just an amazing coincidence?

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/339/808/122.png

Horatio Cornblower
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Mom took the kid so we have the night to ourselves.

The dog may judge us, but he can’t talk.

herodotus450
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herodotus450
LemonJello
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LemonJello

A little dress up/cosplay?
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LemonJello
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LemonJello

Wolverception? Harbsception? Anyway, Purdue gets the take-away.

Redshirt
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OverratedArrogantAssholesFromAnOverratedStateThatBringTheEntireNationAndAllOfHumanityDownCeption?

LemonJello
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LemonJello

A little wordy, but accurate.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello
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LemonJello

Who’s a good pupper?

LemonJello
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LemonJello

Purdue feeling frisky and keeping in this game against Meeeeshigan

herodotus450
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herodotus450

Have they finally cracked O’Korn?

LemonJello
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LemonJello

They sent Speight to the locker room.

herodotus450
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herodotus450

See my (Jameson) Vest kicking field goals all over Miami

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

I guess I’ll go for a walk soon. I don’t have anything I want to do more, not that I don’t have a ton of things I should be doing. Oh, God. Why am I making life so hard on myself?

Redshirt
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Calm down. Walk to the corner store to clear your head. Buy beer and/or liquor. Return home. Watch football. Keep us apprised of your updates and findings.

You’ll get through this.

LemonJello
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LemonJello

Take the walk, sort some thoughts out, come back and get some things done while also posting here.

JustStopDude
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JustStopDude

TCU is just SMU with discretion right?

LemonJello
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LemonJello

They know to bury the dead hookers deeper and cover them in lye?

Redshirt
Member

Okay. New episode of Duck Tales reboot. One minute in, and it looks like the first episode might not be a nostalgic-induced fluke after all.

Redshirt
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Shan’kor Lives!!!!

herodotus450
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herodotus450

Toledo leading Miami (FL) ?

herodotus450
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herodotus450

So Darnold has the poor release of Russ, and a less powerful arm than Wentz?
/Watching on mute

LemonJello
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LemonJello

Don’t forget the vacant, dead-eyed expression of Sam Bradford.

herodotus450
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herodotus450

The cro-magnon good looks of… Peyton?

LemonJello
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LemonJello

Guys, YOU GUYS! Darnold is the Serpentor of quarteredbacks!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy
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ROLL TIDE RIGHT INTO THE BEDROOM!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

LemonJello
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LemonJello

I think Bama-Vandy can be put in the books, switching over to Mich-Purdue…

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herodotus450
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herodotus450

Why do they keep showing Laura Dern in the stands of this game?

theeWeeBabySeamus
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Because Bruce was “unavailable”….?

Spanky Datass
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Spanky Datass

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Redshirt
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JV Bengals is being bipolar against future Navy Sailors, jumping from incompetent to good. That being said, I would happily give my left middle finger for them to replace the actual Bengals tomorrow.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
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IKEA update: I have a massive headache and have yet to consume a meatball. Relationship remains on solid ground.

Redshirt
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Proposed option: Say to significant other that you need to go use restroom, go to nearby sports bar, come back in one hour and say you got lost in the store.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
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I’m saving up goodwill for tomorrow’s Bears game but I like the way you think

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello
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LemonJello

Took longer than anticipated to close the pool for the winter…but the jorbs are done and now it’s time for sprots!

How the intercourse are we doing, gentlemen?

Redshirt
Member

I closed my pool in 70° weather three weeks ago. It may be the high-80° weather, but I think the pool cover is laughing at me.

LemonJello
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LemonJello

Got to 80 here, but the water is nut-shrivelingly cold, and I wanted to get it done before all the trees managed to dump their leaves into the pool.

Redshirt
Member

Yeah. Pool water was in the 60° and we were out of gas for the heater. I had to go in to fix a patch on the floor and remove the ladder. Judging by the water level of the liner the patch seems to be holding and the ladders is out, so I guess that is worth my sterilization.

theeWeeBabySeamus
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I’m not sure I get the logic, but I can’t argue with the results.
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LemonJello
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LemonJello

It just doesn’t matter.
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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Nothing matters.

theeWeeBabySeamus
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Fat guy fumbre recovrey and first down run on the same play in Clemson.
Wooooo.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Wooo! Fat guy play!

herodotus450
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herodotus450

We’ve replaced the refs in this USC-Cal game with LAPD officers who ignore all red on blue violence; let’s see if anyone notices.

LemonJello
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LemonJello

The announcing team must be on the SC payroll, too. They spent a solid 5 minutes fluffing Darnold like he had video of them fucking farm animals wearing SS uniforms.

Redshirt
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Something…something…profiling…something…something…

theeWeeBabySeamus
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Yay foar Song Girls.
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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Wow. You all were busy while I was napping.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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the Alpha and the Amoeba
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the Alpha and the Amoeba

Disregard shitty college football games, watch Craig Ferguson

theeWeeBabySeamus
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Terps trailing at home to UCF.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
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I prefer the version mixed with Todd Haley’s reaction gif.

scotchnaut
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Show off!

herodotus450
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herodotus450

Can’t wait for the usc bubble to burst. And then burst next week. And the next.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

ESPN Exec: Why isn’t anyone watching Duke/U*NC?
Intern: This is football…you know that, right?
ESPN Exec: What’s the difference?

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
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You left out the part where the exec was snorting coke, but I could read between the lines.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus
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‘Sup, fucker?

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
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Anyone see Xmas Ape’s article about his condo ownership nightmare?

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/43ax8w/i-bought-a-condo-and-it-ruined-my-life

I wish people wouldn’t sneer at objecting to home ownership readily and I’m surprised at how this hasn’t changed in ten years. It can be far worse than renting in some circumstances.

Wakezilla
Member

Millenial living in a laughably impossible homeownership market here:

Younger Millenals are more likely to want to rent and travel than own a home. This change in culture and the realization the North American dream is bullshit and sucks, is a trend that will continuesl for a while.

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

The blog game is a harsh mistress.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Even the traditional media game is harsh. He mentions being paid very late as a freelancer, which is a story I’ve heard a lot.

Of course, the Huff Pos of the world don’t get criticized for shirking on an obligation, but the person who delivers on their end usually are.

Wakezilla
Member

Riddle me this: How are the Huskies ranked 7th when USC is 5th, despite the Huskies being the PAC champs and are undefeated this year and even beat USC last year?

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Did USC have a better recruiting class?

Wakezilla
Member

No idea. I’m a pretty casual NCAA fan

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

And as a follow-up, rankings are bullshit and always have been.

Wakezilla
Member

Agreed. Though I find it amusing when NFL “analysts” start arguing strength of schedule when a 10-6 team doesn’t make the playoffs when a 9-7 or 8-8 team does

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

Riddle me THIS: How is any team ranked right now? There are no official CFP ranking until week 7 or so.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Berserkley thinks they’re the Packers.
That’s cute.

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

what kind of fucked up uniforms is Berkeley wearing?!?

Wakezilla
Member

Tribute to the Packers

scotchnaut
Member

Anyone want to apologize to Doeren?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Not quite yet. I’ve seen this movie before.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Suck it ,’Noles.

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