Onwards Towards Legitimate Autumn Lesser Footy

Summer 2017 is finally going away, thank God, and Lesser Footy wants to be a part of helping you forget.  Won’t you please just let it into your living room and/or recluse unabomber shack?

17th position (almost as shite as Everton!) West Ham host 5th place Spurs to kick everything off (7:25, NBCSN).  Spurs could use a good kicking of somebody’s teeth in, as I was shocked to see them actually a point behind fucking Newcastle.  There’s a reason the saying goes “don’t even look at the table until 10 matches in.”  But holy Christ, have a word.

The 10am window is garbage, with tied for 1st City hosting worst side to open Premier League play in history of EVAR, Crystal Palace (NBCSN) your lead option.  Stoke and Chelsea are on CNBC (meh), and if you want anything else (like the suckfest Toffees hosting yeah right’s Cherries), you’ll have to pay for it.

Leicester host Liverpool in this week’s spotlight dance (12:30, NBC), but in 15th position, our Foxes don’t look to be on form enough to make me laugh at the German Elton John’s misfortunes.  Que lastima.

There is only one, dull Sunday match – Brighton & Hove v. Newcastle (11:00, NBCSN), and you are most certainly not excused from mandatory Commentist NFL London game duty.  Arsenal and West Brom (3:00, NBCSN) is a surprising Monday Night footy matchup, in that the Albion are actually higher in the table (10th v. 12th) going in.

NC State at Florida State (Noon, ABC/ESPN2)

Historically, my shitty wolves have been pests against their hostile Native American counterparts.  They are breaking in a new, uber-skinny freshman QB against several NFL prospects along NC State’s DL.  But the speed and athleticism advantage everywhere else on the field is so great, I still suspect it won’t matter.  If it does, it will be because Jimbo is as stupid as the name would indicate.

Texas Tech at Houston (Noon, ESPN2/ABC)

Mirror image coverage game!  Very interesting interleague, intrastate battle between two programs who live in the shadows of bigger names who produce jack shit.  There is an opportunity in particular for Guns Up!! to progress in the Big 12-ish this season, with so much fire power concentrated in OK.

Texas A&M v. Arkansas in JerralWorld (Noon, ESPN)

Again…I would give my left nut (not like I’m using it anyway) to have Kevin Sumlin coaching in Raleigh.  But if he loses this one, he might as well start packing.  And Pig!  Sooey!! needs a win very badly, too.  Another interesting one.

TCU at Oklahoma State (3:30, ESPN)

On paper, this looks like the first legitimate test for BDSM State, but from what I’ve seen…Bloodeyes don’t have the firepower to keep up, especially not in Stillwater.  Oh yeah, that’s a paddlin’ – just how they likes it.  Weird fuckers.

Michigan at Purdue (4:00, Fox)

I would really like for this to be a trap game, as the Boilers look much improved.  But really, it’s just a weak window of games.

Oklahoma at Baylor (6:30, FS1)

Not too much fun when the rape shoe is on the other foot, eh?

Mississippi State at Georgia (7:00, ESPN)

OK, you beat the tar shit out of LSU.  But that was at home, in front of your delirium-inducing bell ringing.  Go between the hedges and show us what the fuck you really got.

Florida at Kentucky (7:30, SECN)

Lots of really shitty games getting national coverage, but the Gators aren’t much account and the Wildcats just won on the road in Chicken Land (as I warned ya they might).   Interesting match-up alert.

Washington at Colorado (10:00, FS1)

The Huskies and Buffs both lost lots of talent from their PAC 12 title game sides, but this should still be fun to watch.

UCLA at Standford (10:30, ESPN)

Here’s your ultimate in late night tweaker fun-time action.  Two wounded animals, equally needing the win.  But Stanford is wounded and at home.  Can they force tempo against Chosen Rosen and his tribe of Israelites?  Caffeinate to see!

 

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
LemonJello

I think Bama-Vandy can be put in the books, switching over to Mich-Purdue…

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herodotus450

Why do they keep showing Laura Dern in the stands of this game?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Because Bruce was “unavailable”….?

Spanky Datass

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Redshirt

JV Bengals is being bipolar against future Navy Sailors, jumping from incompetent to good. That being said, I would happily give my left middle finger for them to replace the actual Bengals tomorrow.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

IKEA update: I have a massive headache and have yet to consume a meatball. Relationship remains on solid ground.

Redshirt

Proposed option: Say to significant other that you need to go use restroom, go to nearby sports bar, come back in one hour and say you got lost in the store.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m saving up goodwill for tomorrow’s Bears game but I like the way you think

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello

Took longer than anticipated to close the pool for the winter…but the jorbs are done and now it’s time for sprots!

How the intercourse are we doing, gentlemen?

Redshirt

I closed my pool in 70° weather three weeks ago. It may be the high-80° weather, but I think the pool cover is laughing at me.

LemonJello

Got to 80 here, but the water is nut-shrivelingly cold, and I wanted to get it done before all the trees managed to dump their leaves into the pool.

Redshirt

Yeah. Pool water was in the 60° and we were out of gas for the heater. I had to go in to fix a patch on the floor and remove the ladder. Judging by the water level of the liner the patch seems to be holding and the ladders is out, so I guess that is worth my sterilization.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m not sure I get the logic, but I can’t argue with the results.
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LemonJello

It just doesn’t matter.
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Unsurprised

Nothing matters.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fat guy fumbre recovrey and first down run on the same play in Clemson.
Wooooo.

Unsurprised

Wooo! Fat guy play!

herodotus450

We’ve replaced the refs in this USC-Cal game with LAPD officers who ignore all red on blue violence; let’s see if anyone notices.

Redshirt

Something…something…profiling…something…something…

LemonJello

The announcing team must be on the SC payroll, too. They spent a solid 5 minutes fluffing Darnold like he had video of them fucking farm animals wearing SS uniforms.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yay foar Song Girls.
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Unsurprised

Wow. You all were busy while I was napping.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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the Alpha and the Amoeba

Disregard shitty college football games, watch Craig Ferguson
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTJdmmSTvw8

theeWeeBabySeamus

Terps trailing at home to UCF.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

Show off!

...

I prefer the version mixed with Todd Haley’s reaction gif.

herodotus450

Can’t wait for the usc bubble to burst. And then burst next week. And the next.

theeWeeBabySeamus

ESPN Exec: Why isn’t anyone watching Duke/U*NC?
Intern: This is football…you know that, right?
ESPN Exec: What’s the difference?

...

You left out the part where the exec was snorting coke, but I could read between the lines.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

‘Sup, fucker?

...

Anyone see Xmas Ape’s article about his condo ownership nightmare?

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/43ax8w/i-bought-a-condo-and-it-ruined-my-life

I wish people wouldn’t sneer at objecting to home ownership readily and I’m surprised at how this hasn’t changed in ten years. It can be far worse than renting in some circumstances.

herodotus450

The blog game is a harsh mistress.

...

Even the traditional media game is harsh. He mentions being paid very late as a freelancer, which is a story I’ve heard a lot.

Of course, the Huff Pos of the world don’t get criticized for shirking on an obligation, but the person who delivers on their end usually are.

Wakezilla

Millenial living in a laughably impossible homeownership market here:

Younger Millenals are more likely to want to rent and travel than own a home. This change in culture and the realization the North American dream is bullshit and sucks, is a trend that will continuesl for a while.

Wakezilla

Riddle me this: How are the Huskies ranked 7th when USC is 5th, despite the Huskies being the PAC champs and are undefeated this year and even beat USC last year?

herodotus450

Riddle me THIS: How is any team ranked right now? There are no official CFP ranking until week 7 or so.

...

Did USC have a better recruiting class?

Wakezilla

No idea. I’m a pretty casual NCAA fan

...

And as a follow-up, rankings are bullshit and always have been.

Wakezilla

Agreed. Though I find it amusing when NFL “analysts” start arguing strength of schedule when a 10-6 team doesn’t make the playoffs when a 9-7 or 8-8 team does

Wakezilla

True. But shouldn’t they still be ranked higher until they are proven to be worse? Huskies aren’t the only ones who lost their team

Wakezilla

Even more reason to start off on how last season ended, no?

Guessing based on potential makes it even more stupid

theeWeeBabySeamus

Berserkley thinks they’re the Packers.
That’s cute.

ballsofsteelandfury

what kind of fucked up uniforms is Berkeley wearing?!?

Wakezilla

Tribute to the Packers

scotchnaut

Anyone want to apologize to Doeren?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not quite yet. I’ve seen this movie before.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I actually just looked to be sure.
I figured for certain a trip to WS was next week. Had to be.
Nope…next best thing tho, ‘Cuse comes to town.

That will be funny AND painful.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Suck it ,’Noles.

ballsofsteelandfury

game ovah!

scotchnaut

SHUT UP WOLFIES!!!!!

scotchnaut

WOW!

Wakezilla

How is my tv so far behind you guys? There’s 2 minutes left in the QBU v Semen game

theeWeeBabySeamus

Eliah, I know you make the big bucks here. But son, they’re stacking the box on ya’s.
You see that…right?

theeWeeBabySeamus

There it is.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK Ryan, just don’t fuck up.

Wakezilla

Semen with some fierce velocity after that penetration

ballsofsteelandfury

Aguayo is back in college?

theeWeeBabySeamus

They’re on the “Family Plan”.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hello Shankhor, my old friend….

theeWeeBabySeamus

Or not.

Hopefully we can manage a fucking first down this time. If not, we deserve to fucking lose this.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Just the tip?

scotchnaut

Oh my.

theeWeeBabySeamus

smgdh

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well that was the fastest 3 and out in the history of EVAR!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Funny how that turned out to not be an issue so much, eh?

scotchnaut

LOOK AT YOU, WOLFIE WOO!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Blackman had the first down out of the backfield on the flats. Wide assed open.
We lucked out there.

Wakezilla

“FsU > QBU”

Tv execs

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh Jeebus. Really? We’re gonna review this and give FSU a free fucking timeout?