Your “Is It Dessert Time Already?” Sunday Night NFL Open Thread

Whoopty-ding-dang-do! Another Sunday is coming to an end and then it’s back to the soul-crushing grind that begins Monday morning. But wait! Not so fast, residents north of the USA. Monday is a funday holiday for us blessed lot. We shall whisper our obligatory prayers to the Holy Trinity of Bobby Orr, Terry Fox and Celine Dion. We will leave any and all expired food at the end of our driveways as an offering to the roving bands of black bears that protect our neighborhoods. We shall make love doggy-style to our partners so that both of us can watch the CBC News. We shall give a tip of a well-worn baseball cap to the Molson family which has kept us well-hydrated for so many years. We shall quietly harvest the salty and smoky bounty from our most precious resource and best-kept secret, the back bacon tree. We will even allow those dirty Armenians to come up to the surface (only for one day, mind you) from the living hell that is the underground hockey puck mines.

And then we will go about our unassuming business, content that the world has no clue about our odd and oddly comforting rituals. Now one must go… TO THE GAME!!!

KC/Hou: The Chiefs haven’t really been seriously challenged this year and the fifty fantasy bucks I spent on Kareem Hunt looks like a bargain. If Houston is in the lead at the half you can rest assured that Andy Reid will bring out the old tried and true “IT GETS BUTTER, UH, BETTER, BETTER” speech. That one is a keeper!

Show everyone what ya got down below, hombres.

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Well, I’m back into another all night Python/TCL cram session. 5 more lesson modules and these are the hard ones. No telling what I’ll learn tonight.
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Doktor Zymm

Later y’all, I’m off to eat mo’ mo:mo

Col. Duke LaCross

Hopkins scored 20 points on me in my money league in the last two minutes with the game out of reach.

Senor Weaselo

Most meaningless scramble for 2 ever?

Doktor Zymm

Once I scrambled for 2 just to miss the bus, but then another bus pulled up and I got on that one. That was probably about the same amount of meaning

WCS

GAMBLOR disagrees.

WCS

Whomever had the over/under just shot their TV.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

What was the line?

WCS

KC by 8.5, O/U was 72. Ouchies.

Senor Weaselo

Garbage points for everyone?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

They burn their garbage here

Horatio Cornblower

You know what I had for dinner tonight? Leftover brisket and pulled pork. I put it in a skillet and tossed in some onions and what not and heated that shit up, shook it around, tossed in a little of this and that and added a salad.

Why do I bring this up?

Because the only thing more confusing than the concept of time management to Andy Reid is the concept of “leftovers”, particularly leftover brisket and pork. Just mention that to him and the Chiefs’ undefeated record will come to a screeching halt.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

This was me reading that first paragraph.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Wait, FailRace is real?

Senor Weaselo

(This is my reference, btw. Yes, it’s video game-related, but it’s still pretty funny.)
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WCS

They see me rollin’
They hatin’

Doktor Zymm

Who just broke?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Not JJ, so it doesn’t matter.

WCS

Everyone?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m not giving her the shot….YOU’RE gonna give her the shot.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

NFL injury report after today:

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Col. Duke LaCross

That’s always gruesome to watch something snap in slow motion.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Love the slo mo achilles pop. Good work NBC.

Senor Weaselo

When did they become Blitz: The League?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The air is nipply (SFW, but I didn’t want to spam up the thread). https://pixxxels.org/gallery/2kecatd98/

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Colquitt Tacking Seminars starting next week!

Reserve your spot today.

Dunstan
Dunstan

I love Al’s astonishment that a football player listens to NPR

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Cats love pork.

Doktor Zymm

“Wait, wait…don’t tackle me”

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

All Thing Intercepted, hosted by Andy Dalton

Planet Money, hosted by … Ugh. This one is just unfortunate.

Car Talk, hosted by Cam Newton.

Fresh Air, hosted by Josh Gordon.

It’s Been A Minute?, hosted by Andy Reid.

Rough Transliteration, hosted by Emmitt Smith.

Hidden Brai— Nope.

Bullseye with Plaxico Burress.

How I Built This with #ThePauls.

Invisibilia, hosted by L.A. Chargers fans.

Gratliff

Vince took a headbutt, but Shane continues to be an absolute lunatic. Jesus christ.

https://video.twimg.com/tweet_video/DLqoDznX0AA-EQ-.mp4

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Fuuuuuuuuuuuck that.

Gratliff

That’s a 47 year old taking that fucking fall

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Oh, definitely fuck that.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

“absolute lunatic” is an understatement.

Senor Weaselo

Is it me or is it his job to jump from the top of the cage right into the table? And literally only that.

Gratliff

He quit doing that for like 10 years to go be an investment banker. Then retired from that to jump off giant shit again. He’s an insane person.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Well, you can’t do that at most hedge funds.

Gratliff

He’s also been known to take insane suplexes

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Fuck. That.

Senor Weaselo

He went out, but that’s a nice catch.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

This just in:
Deandre Hopkins is good

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Report now confirmed. Breaking news!

King Hippo

back to nothing to look forward to for several days. BLECH

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Porn?

Doktor Zymm

yeah, Bears games aren’t exactly hotly anticipated

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Mitchell! Keenum! Deep Dish pizza!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Mrs. Borat is very attractive.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

you can’t punt here

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

They were asking for it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Did you see how the fourth down was dressed?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Slathered in a wet rub. Andy couldn’t help himself.

Doktor Zymm

What about a cunt punt?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I never did that and you can’t prove it.
Bitch set me up.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Igor’s daughter?

King Hippo

I really appreciate the near-comical levels of commitment KC has in making sure neither Tyreek nor KHunt score one of their many, many TDs

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

It’s a KHuntscpiracy! Open your eyes sheeple!

Doktor Zymm

Congrats to the Chargers, Jets, and Colts, on all winning their pathetic matchups today!

blaxabbath

Anyone heard anything on this MIA coach doing lines of coke on FB?

https://www.facebook.com/starr.sherrod/posts/10159563611860089

Dunstan
Dunstan

“HUGE hole” — Ok, Al Michaels is just trolling us now

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*UUUUGE.

blaxabbath

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Like, I dunno, if I’m supposed to donate my time and energy — I don’t want some jack of all trades who is like “Oh yeah, I’ll organize, take the pictures, I edit the newsletter. I have roller derby on Thursdays and my etsy shop gets busy around Christmas….but I think we can march on Saturday!”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Roller Derby you say?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

We can’t see it. We’re not logged into Slack.

blaxabbath

Oh weird.

Senor Weaselo

I’m logged into Slack and I can’t see it either.

King Hippo

we can haz game??

Horatio Cornblower

I just needed 5 tries to find the game.

I may* have been drinking my way through the Yankees 1-0 win just now.

*Oh I was; BULEE DAT!!! CHUH CHUH!!!

Beastmode Ate My Baby

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Federal Protective Services have taken a suspect into custody for possession of a firearm in a Federal park. pic.twitter.com/JkC1IWivUf

— Portland Police (@PortlandPolice) October 8, 2017

Idiot Trump chud.

King Hippo

now THAT is something that could get a gun law changed, depending on who got arrested

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

“He rightfully defended himself,” Bishop says about the white supremacist. “This person was illegally arrested for self defense and I’m here to tell all these socialists the truth of the matter… These three that died or were stabbed are not heroes, they’re not anybody to be idolized, and they deserve everything that they got.”

“These three” were murdered by Jeremy Christian, who was harassing and threatening a couple of teenagers in hijabs on the MAX a few months back. When confronted, he murdered two men and stabbed another. The week before, he was helped by the Portland Police after he and other white supremacists crashed a diversity rally seeking to cause violence. Those motherfuckers got coddled by the cops, given armed protection, and bussed away while the rally was broken up because the Portland Police Bureau is racist as fuck.

Christian and this Bishop guy who just got arrested are right-wing pieces of shit and I hope they fucking die and burn in Hell forever.

Doktor Zymm

Damn, that’s some seriously fucked up shit

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

White supremacy usually is.

Doktor Zymm

I should start taking knife fighting classes again. The main trick to knife defense is to just get cut in non-lethal places

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Especially since you’re moving into an even more dystopian hellscape than I live in.

Doktor Zymm

Eh, it’ll be better than where I’m moving from

Doktor Zymm

Hell, there will probably be a knife fighting app to go with the most popular handcrafted smart knife ever on Kickstarter!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Defense is overrated.
If you’ve got a knife, you’re already ahead of the game probably.

You need to enroll in Baltimore County Community College.

Stabbing For Quickness and Accuracy: Professor Ray Lewis.

Horatio Cornblower

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

And Senor gets to exhale because the Yanks won’t get swept!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Too bad.

Doktor Zymm

I didn’t know my tibia had a plateau!

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Gratliff

What is your secret for proper tweet embedding?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Click the little down arrow next to the Tweet, highlight “Embed Tweet” and that’ll bring up the code to copy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Embed Tweet” is that a euphemism of some sort?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

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Gratliff

Yes, but I already do this. Where’s Internet Dad to list the minor permission differences that cause this?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Now that I don’t know. I’m only here as the requisite Seahawks fan and to provide the funny stuff* on Fridays.

*May or may not be funny. No refunds or returns accepted.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Oh, wait. The game is still going?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

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make it snow

They just didn’t have the heart to overturn the longest throw of Alex Smith’s career.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

7 yards?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Play action to Kelce, plz.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sorry….AFTER the commercial. Don’t want my FF woes to get in the way of capitalism.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Never mind, he’s not even on the field. I give up.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

There there.

Doktor Zymm

It’s hard for him to pass concussion protocol since they can’t tell if he has a brain injury or if he’s just being a dick

theeWeeBabySeamus

Honestly I missed most of the game, have the sound muted, and have no idea about anything right now other than rage inducing family. Did he get his bell rung earlier?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Never mind, just looked it up.
Dammit.

Senor Weaselo

Aroldis Chapman is a very sweaty man.

WCS

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I’m disappointed I can’t get to DFO-CON

WCS

You’ll be missing so much!
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blaxabbath

I think it’s weird that being an organizer is a thing. I mean, I get that like social movement need leaders — both symbolically and logistically — but I just can’t wrap my head around the concept that people are like, “Yeah, that’s me. I’m an organizer. You all just do what I say and we got this.” Like, unless that organizer is already in some position of authority, why should I let you tell me where I should go hold my sign (or whatever)?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Organizers have a skill set and connections that regular people off the street don’t.

blaxabbath

Oh I don’t doubt that they have some practical qualifications, including interfacing with local governments, police, and the permitting things.

I’m watching this LV rally thing live on Twitter — like, everyone is on the same side and people STILL keep interrupting the guy in disagreement.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Oh, that’s because people suck.

King Hippo

I believe that I am too fundamentally cynical to see how this could ever work, too.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

It’s not easy.

Senor Weaselo

Neither is pimpin’, but they find a way.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Indeed.

Pimps … Find a way.

Gratliff

Realistically, I think people just don’t know what to do when they get to a protest. It’s like your first day on the job. You’re just looking around for someone to give you a fucking clue what you’re supposed to be doing right now, so you’re far more willing to take instruction from randos than you normally would be.

Dunstan
Dunstan

Agreed. My least favorite are the ones who are all about getting you to donate to their organization, so that they can make a living “doing good” while looking down their noses at those of us who work for The Man for a living.

And don’t even get me started on anyone who describes themselves as a “thought leader.”

blaxabbath

What is a thought leader? Like, is this someone with a lot of Instagram followers?

Doktor Zymm

It’s someone who speaks at conferences about actual research someone else did

blaxabbath

Like….your research?

I take that you are not fond of these types?

King Hippo

I met somebody with that on a business card once. He was as big a know-it-all douchebro as you would possibly imagine. I found a way to insist that Trivial Pursuit get broken out to take the jackass down a few pegs.

theeWeeBabySeamus

His last name wasn’t “Brock” by chance, was it?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Worse. It was his first name.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

And don’t even get me started on anyone who describes themselves as a “thought leader.”

Grifters

Doktor Zymm

People have jobs in event planning and such, it’s hard to coordinate people. In order to be effective you have to do more than just say stuff, you have to make people listen and not fuck things up

blaxabbath

This dude is giving, what I guess is supposed to come off as, an impassioned speech and 2/3 of the crowd is holding a candle with one hand and playing on their phone with the other.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“is already in some position of authority”

Think about who is in “authority” now, if you are the type to follow their directions, maybe objecting to the status quo is not for you.

blaxabbath

I meant more like a pastor or Girl Scout Leader.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Wait; Girl Scout leader?

Doktor Zymm

There’s a Hello Kitty thai restaurant near my hostel. I kind of feel like I should go, especially since I ended up of the EVA Hello Kitty plane on my flight to Bali

Senor Weaselo

You got the Hello Kitty plane too?

Doktor Zymm

Yep, I’m saving my Hello Kitty boarding pass

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

They really know who they’re catering to, don’t they?

WCS

Try the deep-fried kitten!

King Hippo

Watson is good at this quartered backing thing.

Doktor Zymm

I’m too lazy and on too crappy wifi to figure out image hosting right now. Maybe I’ll do a ‘what I did on my October vacation’ post when I get back

Senor Weaselo

Yes.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Email ’em to me. I’ll get ’em up for ya.
So to speak of course.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

We can wait. Have fun. We’re not going anywhere.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Hey! Speak for yourse-

No, it’s true. We’re victims of the lack of inertia.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Why didn’t they send Tafoya to the hospital with a camera crew?
WE NEED MORE DETAILS ON JJ!

King Hippo

I mean, I can’t help but feel they woefully undercovered such a matter of immense national interest and import,

blaxabbath

I like Michelle.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Agreed, that’s why the camera crew is involved.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo

I feel like his douchiness counteracts Lin-Manuel Miranda’s dorkiness. So we’re at a net neutral.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Are you suggesting LMM isn’t also a douche for creating a musical that uses hip-hop and minorities to glorify a bunch of slave owners?

Senor Weaselo

I would say the only slaveowner he glorifies is Washington, considering Madison and Monroe are kind of antagonists. Not that Hamilton didn’t have his own deficiencies, of course.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Oh, good. He’s going to come out a full-blown Lex Luthor-style supervillain.

Senor Weaselo

1000Bulbs.com isn’t a real website, it’s all a sham, right?

Doktor Zymm

It’s really only 997.3 bulbs

Senor Weaselo

The .3 is a broken one?