Hi there! It is one of the few futbol fans here at the clubhouse I was voluntold to tell you a story and parse through the hate and crazyness concerning an event last week. As you probably know the USMNT is not going to the World Cup in Russia next year. During the last evening of matches for qualification in CONCACAF ( North and Central America) some of us were chatting on Slack and couldn’t believe our eyes while it was all transpiring. For the last few days I have been lurking on twitter watching as residents of the US who “do not care” about soccer complain, make fun and resign themselves to no footy next summer.
First for the uninitiated the qualification for Mexico and the US is like qualifying for FF playoffs in a 10 man league, there should be no doubt. The “hex” is the best 6 countries from the region all playoff for 3 spots and another playoff position to get to the World Cup. Canada didn’t even make the hex which is pathetic yet not unexpected. Fun fact is that more humans play teh futbol in Canada than any other sport, yet we still suck. In the “hex” were the Americans, Mexicans, Costa Ricans, Trinidad and Tobagonners?, Panamanians, and Hondurans. Four, FOUR of these countries stay alive with 3 going straight to the World Cup and another in a playoff. So as I stated earlier the Americans and Mexicans qualify EVERY TIME. Well loyal commentist if you have read this far you are going to see a roller coaster of reactions from completely rational USMNT supporters as they crashed out to Trinidad & Tobago on Tuesday evening.
The best take was Taylor Twellman.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3kuMy9wUaw]
He has passion, whereas the USMNT had none through the whole qualification process. Corpus Christi and Anaheim have the same population as Iceland who qualified. Weird pulls Taylor.
So in the true spirit of this dark timeline we march!
If @sunilgulati doesn’t resign today, what date works best for everyone to rally at US Soccer House in Chicago? Please RT.#USMNT #SunilOut
— Hows Ya Touch (@howsyatouch) October 13, 2017
Very polite, measured, and keeping with the times by proposing a march yet wanting blood. I do however agree that Gulati needs to go, they need to clean the entire house.
If you want @sunilgulati out—RT this tweet and follow this account. This will be a symbol of collective outrage. #USMNT #SunilOUT #USSF pic.twitter.com/N2EsZhYroG
— #SunilOUT (@SunilOUT) October 13, 2017
Checkout that users name and self promotion. They mean business!
SO Bruce Arena was brought back in as the powers that be didn’t like what the Kraut Jurgen Klinsmann was selling. There were many calls for his head but he was allowed to squirm away by resigning instead of being shit canned like he should have been.
Bruce Arena says system is good enough&no need for crazy changes . He also said we have enough ppl abroad are u fucking kidding me ? #usmnt
— TikiTakaYank (@TikiTakaYank) October 11, 2017
I think it is the lack of effort they displayed throughout the hex was bad but in the last match against T&T they looked slow, and not interested.
It’s sad that the only player who actually played his heart out was a 19 year old. Everyone else was pathetic. #USMNT
— Joshua Santillan (@JoshSant20) October 11, 2017
Fair, and true he has a point. Even that boy Clint Dempsey (ex Fulham) looked like he would rather be listening to me talk about my fantasy football team.
There is some humoUr in all of this which made me laugh.
Keep in mind that the #USMNT didn’t even miss a World Cup when Obama was the president… ?☕️
— ⚽️MEXICO STATS 5.0⚽️ (@DaMexicoStats_) October 11, 2017
can Chicago Fire still qualify for the World Cup?#USMNT
— Tristan Gottschalk (@sonofworldstar) October 11, 2017
Quite a few folks wanted Will Farrell to take over but really there is only one man for the job and it is Ted Lasso. If you haven’t seen the skits, they are hilarious.
Let’s get to post game reaction!
If you are a American soccer fan, be angry, scream from the hill tops, this should never happen. #USMNT
— Maximiliano Bretos (@mbretosESPN) October 11, 2017
What if you live in Wichita where there are no hills?
Go to the Hood, find the kids w/ 4.3 speed 45 inch vertical and give them a soccer ball. Guarantee the #USMNT will reach finals by 2026
— Quinton Gregory (@CataractCity716) October 11, 2017
This argument does not hold up. Unless Heyward-Bey is available.
There are kids who will see 8 Super Bowls, 8 World Series, 8 Stanley Cups and 8 NBA Finals before seeing #USMNT in the World Cup, that sucks
— Ryan Sudol (@Sudsanity) October 11, 2017
Weird taek.
Last time the #USMNT missed a World Cup, the Soviet Union and West Germany participated. THANKS FOR POINTING THAT OUT ZACH SINGER YOU JERK
— Paul Carr (@PCarrESPN) October 11, 2017
History!
Fire Bruce. Fire Gulati. Kick everyone but Pulisic off the team and never let them wear red, white and blue again. #USMNT
— Gary Owens Bruce Jr (@hype_man3000) October 11, 2017
So they can’t wear them ever? No blue jeans for you Mister!
World: Trump is the laughing stock of the USA#USMNT: Hold my beer
— Steve Angelovich (@angelsteve89) October 11, 2017
Why not one more?
US knocked out of 2018 Russia World Cup. Putin couldn’t fix it for #USMNT, just like he did for Trump
— Debarati Majumder (@debarati_m) October 11, 2017
Heh, Trump jokes. But wait!
350 million people and #USMNT cannot find 11 mediocre players to beat the worst country in their group… unbelievable
— Alex George (@alexg_621) October 11, 2017
This is the crux of the argument.
The #USMNT just disrespected the American flag way more than any NFL player ever has.
— cggolfer5 (@JakeMHudson) October 11, 2017
Look at me tying this into the NFL on this dick joke blog!
THE SINGLE LARGEST EMBARASSMENT IN UNITED STATES TEAM ATHLETICS HISTORY. FIRE EVERYONE. #USMNT
— Nick Rossetti (@The_Rossetti) October 11, 2017
This might have been a bit of an overstatement.
The best part of all of this is that one of our media competitors paid a lot of money for this. See people, this is why DFO has no ads or commercials! We can’t afford to lose our precious shirts! If you like shirts though you can buy your HRTN gear here!
The people most nervous right now? The folks at FOX, who paid $400m for US TV rights to the World Cup. No #USMNT would be a disaster.
— Dave Shook (@Dave__Shook) October 11, 2017
In closing, since Scotland also screwed themselves in qualifying I leave you with this.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JAMspjxkrg]
/clicks file, save as, names as spank bank.
Oh, the tears are so delicious.
Excellent work.
It really is something that we can’t field one fucking decent USMNT. Look at every other sport, or especially the USWNT (in spite of constantly getting shit on by U.S. Soccer and their own pro league). It’s shameful.
But the odds are looking better going forward if kids stop playing football and they realize that in the long-term there are better odds as players dealing with MLS and USF than The Shield.
Fuck Fox
Megyn or Jorja? I would accept either.
speaking of Megyn – life experiences I have never had (and never will have)? A rage filled, true hate fuck.
Megan too!
Also of note, I think the US players would be instantly politicized and, shitty as they are as a national team, I think it’s better for those individuals to not have that 30 For 30 life experience.
It really is a terrible setback for US soccer — but I’m not sure just how much of a setback it is as the US doesn’t care about the men’s team and will look back at this WC the same as if we got bounced handily in the group stage.
Personally, I think we should just stop the men’s team and use USWNT as our title ix equivalent for USA Men’s Basketball (do we even got a national lady bball team?).
setback indicates it was otherwise moving forward
Yeah that reads poorly. Point is, it’s objectively an embarrassment to not make the WC. But it’s not like making the WC is anything to celebrate. Like, in the NFL, making he playoffs is an accomplishment – even if you get killed by the Chiefs in the wildcard game.
USA was not going to make a run in the WV and was gong to have to regroup after this one anyways. Now you’ve just got more solid proof that it definitely is time to go a different direction.
What the heck is a USMNT? How do you pronounce that word?
What’s that you say? It’s soccer? Soccer???
You know who likes soccer? People who use the metric system like soccer. You know who used the metric system? A fellow named Hitler used the metric system, and he caused heaps of trouble. Apollo 11 used the normal system, and you can still hear Buzz calling out the altitude to Neil in feet as they landed on the moon for all mankind; Elvis Presley also enjoyed not using the metric system, and so did Vince Lombardi and every team he coached. You can look these facts up.
Lesser Footy is the preferred nomenclature please, Dude!!
+1 peanut butter and banana sandwich
Lombardi spoke in yards, Normal System uses feet!
SPEAK ENGLISH AND STOP KNEELING, ROGER GOODELL, OR ELSE I’LL TAKE AWAY YOUR COST-FREE STADIUM LEASES!
Did anyone really think the US would have done well at the world cup even if they qualified? There’s no way they win, have they ever even made it out of the group stage?
they usually get lucky in the group stages, then get butt-hammered in the knock-out round
Typically, they make it to the round of 16, where they either play a powerhouse and lose by a goal, or they underachieve and lose to Ghana.
Up until 2 years ago, they looked like they were about to make the next step and be perennial quarter finalists. But something happened. Now there’s a gap between the old guard which was decent, the middle guard, which is awful and the new guard that is too young to do damage.
It’s a peculiar setback, but, for the purpose of CONCACAF, is kind of cool that 2 of 3 spots are no longer automatic.
On one hand, the new guard is too young. On the other, haven’t they not made the U-23 WC/the Olympics/whichever it is in two cycles?
Excellent work! I’m still giggling with glee.
Also, thanks for leading me into the Bourniston rabbithole again!