As the afternoon slate kicks in, we’re just hitting our stride…
So join me as we gracefully move into the next phase of the day.
Together, nothing can stop us…
Aside from moderately sized obstacles.
Drinking helps…
Also acceptable…
–
Cowboy @ Niners (+6.0, o/u 48.5)
The Niners have been close to breaking through (5 straight losses by 3 pts or fewer), CJ Beathard (*snicker*) makes his first NFL start. Zeke Elliott will play won’t play will play, making FF owners happy sad happy folks. But it will be Dak who will be the difference in this one. Cowboys cover, but just barely.
Seahawks @ Giants (+4.0, o/u 39.5)
These are two teams who are similarly fucked. Offensive line woes, compounded by loss of offensive weapons due to injury. The Giants have fewer weapons left, and thus a lower upside. Again, the visitors cover, but just barely.
Broncos @ Chargers (+1.0, o/u 40.5)
Donks a 1 pt dog at the Nawt San Diegans? I don’t care if it’s on the road, take the points. Jeebus.
Bengals @ Steelers (-5.5, o/u 40.5)
I’d like to say the Steelers will stub their toe fresh off the emotional win in Kansas City last week. But they won’t. Bengals will try to get something going with a Joe Mixon/AJ Green tandem, but it won’t happen. LeVeon Bell will be LeVeon Bell, Antonio Brown will be Antonio Brown, and the Yinzers shall take command of the North.
–
Now go forth and run thy mouths!!!!!!!!
–
The Niners’ complete inability to beat any of the NFC East teams is very disheartening
They can’t beat any teams.
You say “disheartening,” I say hilarious.
So when is Roger Goodell gonna cash in his Money in the Bank contract and finally get the suspension reinstated for good?
If the WWE Locker Room loses anyone else to a virus, they many need Goodell to help in Shield-Angel vs BarMizva-Brawn-Hell
I am crazy hyped for Styles-Balor and Kurt Angle’s unretirement. Like 1000x more than I was for the original TLC card that included the proper Shield reunion
sounds like 30 October
Hopefully neither of those kids in that box get shot
Jackrabbit defending against Basketball Graham-it’s hilarious that Jenkins got it done.
I guess it’s a local thing but I’ve never had a bloody Mary with celery, a pickle and a slim Jim in it before.
Hell you don’t even need to order food with that.
What the actual fuck…?
glass full of sodium
I cannot understand polluting perfectly good vodka with random bits of food.
You can get this in Milwaukee. Commence fat jokes.
So, cardiac surgeons do a good business there, don’t they?
Goddamnit. I’m never going to figure out picture posting.
https://www.google.com/search?q=sobelman%27s+bloody+mary&client=ms-android-verizon&prmd=imnv&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwj91Zerk4XXAhVmxlQKHQ17DMsQ_AUIEigB&biw=360&bih=612#imgrc=9y35BGusBn9i-M:
You can get this in Milwaukee. Commence fat jokes.
The bartender gave us a look like “Who doesn’t put a slim Jim in their Bloody Mary? Geez!”
Where the hell are you? Tell me, so I can never, ever go there…
Minneapolis. I’m a little surprised there wasn’t any cheese curds in it.
The whole “lunch in a glass of vodka” thing is gonna have to make it into HRTN at some point.
We can build on this!
Screw that! Tell me and I’ll call up the Militia from Bourbon Street.
Get used to this word:
“CLEAR!!!!”
Denver’s home crowd in LA may start chanting for Brock Lobster soon.
So how many calls will the Cardinals get from the Commish asking to sign Kaep?
Sheriff Joe will not be happy.
Bidwill is too inept to even make this team interesting in that manner.
Ben McAdoo looks like a man who calls plays with the intention of maximizing his oxy sales in the postgame locker room.
Wilson with no sense of urgency in delivering that pass.
how many plays inside the 20 will the SeaTruthers get? and how many will they NEED?
1) 400
2) 401
Seattle’s uniforms (including sideline apparel) is just a LITTLE BIT too obnoxious.
Not a fan of the wolf grey? What kind of monster are you?
It’s actually the assistants florescent green hats.
These are decent unis. The leg stripe design isn’t my cup of tea but, overall, the greys are their best look.
Those hats do need to die in a fire.
At least its not their previous jerseys.
I like them in all iterations. It is most of the people in them that are the problem.
Yay, Not-Hill
Tyler Locket: Powerbomb Recipient.
Bucket list item checked off. See a home victory in person.
Fuck yes people!
Oh were you at the game when [TEAM] hosted the Browns?
I actually wanted to see Vikings Browns but it’s in London.
we ALL get to see that next week!
#Mandatory
I’ll even get up at the butt crack of dawn for that one.
AT WHAT POINT DOES TOM CABLE JUST GO DO THE GOD DAMN JOB HIMSELF!!!!!!!!!!
So, Seattle’s one decent lineman is down…
I’m not saying yay, but I’m not not saying yay.
Don’t you try to distract me with wimmin folk, Mr. “I got 20 points out of JAX defense today”.
via GIPHY
Irving did something good.
I guess that Gigantes Prague Spring was Donks-specific?
I think I speak on behalf of the whole DFO in regretting the fact that Y.A. Tittle did not play modern football.
I mean, think of all the great Commentist work that would come from that name!
fucking Shitty Clippers
How in the hell did the Zebra rule that a backwards pass in CIN-PIT?
Bengals, if it wouldn’t be any trouble QUIT PLAYING JEREMY HILL!!!!
I am rooting for whichever two teams have the most players sitting for the National Anthem to make the Super Bowl.
I sit in support of this.
I prefer the Giants old helmets.
At least the Tomsulas scored
Throw some cans of beans on the fire cuz we celebratin’!
WOO no shutout
I am a big fan of reasonable goals. Probably because I am…less than great at life?
“Yeah!”
– Not Arizona Fans
And Stub Hub Center roared its approval at the Denver goal line stand…
can’t wait for King Laserface to lose his shit at an In-com-PLETE!
4 and out!!
STOMP STOMP CLAP!!!
CJ Beathard looks like a farmer
God, it sucks to waste this defense
-Seattle fans
My viewing options are SEA/NYG or a Fox Post Game Show,
Drew’s recommendation was not bad this week.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOtMizMQ6oM
or that shooting self in face option…
/which is the best DEN option rn
I love how the crowd in Carson is all orange.
…its begins.
ZEKE
Hand off lots Donks WOO!!
so the Jets have 8 secs to go 93 yards…
Carson Palmer to have surgery on broken arm.
This is why you invest in an offensive line.
“What’d he say?”
-Seattle front office
“Yeah, I have no idea what he means.”
-Ted Thompson and Mike McCarthy
“Aw, we can hold on every play. Don’t worry, the refs never call it.”
-the entire GB O-line
AND CALCIUM SUPPLEMENTS!!!!!!
Kaepernick?
they need a qb whos gunna take the field not take a knee smgh
Bengals’ Fan: “Good luck today?”
Steelers’ Fan: “You, too.”
Bengals’ Fan: “Here’s hoping no one gets hurt today for a change.”
Steelers’ Fan: “Or fined.”
“Fuck you both”
/kicks Browns fan in the nuts
– Ravens fan
[Shoots self in face.]
-Cardinals’ Fan
Jay Cutler about to put out a cigarette in his fancy feast.
Good thing ARI didn’t chew up any of my day with scores. Now I can watch the tie game happening on that gorgeous Miami turf between the JETS and the DOLPHINS.
Finishing up being the DD at a gluten free brewery.
Get me the fuck home.
that’s good hustle, life-saving nerd!
So apparently no one actually explained to you the finer points of being the DD…
I fucking watched that stupid fucking game from start to finish.
I am an idiot.
I’m bannering this because it applies to every game.
Really looking forward to the Jets lateral play.
any dead bodies in Cincy/Pit game yet?
Dalton is kinda undead. Does that count?
49ers stadium is empty
So everyone took a knee and Jerry Jones kicked them out of the game?
“Get a haircut, hippies! YEEHAWWWW!!!!!”
Jerruh really is a toned down version of Steinbrenner on Seinfeld.
What happened to Catler and why is Jets/Dolphins on Fox?
My stream is 10-15 seconds behind.
so no spoilers
There’s a bad-suspension joke in there somewhere…
If you want to know how it feels being a Bengals fan watching a Bengals-Steelers game, imagine watching Karate Kid, but Daniel-san is DQ’d for kicking Johnny’s face with the Crane Kick, Johnny wins and is carried out of the arena by a cheering crowd, Ali leaves Daniel-san for Johnny and ICE drags Mr. Miyagi away.
Which one is the black kid?
I think it’s funnier to go with this retcon that Daniel is the villain. And he did win with an illegal move.
OK. Just watched some Banacek and McCloud, got some things done around the house, and am in a good, happy, rested place.
Time to ruin that watching us lose. Yeah!
Us being?
she a Tomsulas fan
Poor misguided girl…
Yep. Tomsulas fan since the good old days (vide avatar).
Denver plus the point is the easiest game of the week considering this is an extra home game for them.