As the afternoon slate kicks in, we’re just hitting our stride…
So join me as we gracefully move into the next phase of the day.
Together, nothing can stop us…
Aside from moderately sized obstacles.
Drinking helps…
Also acceptable…
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Cowboy @ Niners (+6.0, o/u 48.5)
The Niners have been close to breaking through (5 straight losses by 3 pts or fewer), CJ Beathard (*snicker*) makes his first NFL start. Zeke Elliott will play won’t play will play, making FF owners happy sad happy folks. But it will be Dak who will be the difference in this one. Cowboys cover, but just barely.
Seahawks @ Giants (+4.0, o/u 39.5)
These are two teams who are similarly fucked. Offensive line woes, compounded by loss of offensive weapons due to injury. The Giants have fewer weapons left, and thus a lower upside. Again, the visitors cover, but just barely.
Broncos @ Chargers (+1.0, o/u 40.5)
Donks a 1 pt dog at the Nawt San Diegans? I don’t care if it’s on the road, take the points. Jeebus.
Bengals @ Steelers (-5.5, o/u 40.5)
I’d like to say the Steelers will stub their toe fresh off the emotional win in Kansas City last week. But they won’t. Bengals will try to get something going with a Joe Mixon/AJ Green tandem, but it won’t happen. LeVeon Bell will be LeVeon Bell, Antonio Brown will be Antonio Brown, and the Yinzers shall take command of the North.
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Now go forth and run thy mouths!!!!!!!!
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In, in, in, in, in….
“Only 615 to go!”
–Houston
Go ZEKE
HOLY FUCK
Da fuck?
September 20, 1933 New York Giants 23 Pittsburgh Pirates 2
The very first score the Steelers ever made in their history was a safety. How weird is that?
Sounds weirdly appropriate.
Hey Beast Mode I just posted the ultimate Bloody Mary photo on the slack channel.
Not seeing it…what channel is it on?
Lesser footy Liouns are pissing me off. They’re playing the prevent (aka: parking the bus) and as a result, are losing. Why are they doing this since the beginning of the game? Because they need a point to be in the clear. Play to win the games you assholes!
AHHHHHHHH!
Lockett gonna be sore after this game.
Well, maybe not.
Might just be paralyzed.
Fox sports is showing some weird documentary of “Homer at the Bat” in case any or you are interested about Dr. Oz’s opinions about Brain Tonic (which i imagine he endorses)
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Who the hell is Beathard and why is he playing QB for the 49ers?
Cuz their previous starter hates the troops.
Their previous starter was Unsurprised?
Because, given that our offensive line is crap, the inevitable injury report can just be his name.
As Sherman approaches the end of his career and signs with some other team, I wholly expect him to get a press questions about having anything left in the tank and he’ll respond, “I carried a team to two Super Bowls. Now I’m here to have Deshone carry me to a Super Bowl.”
Given the injury bug, the playoffs are going to be a shitshow of weird teams making it.
Rams and Steelers make it. Goodell’s erection lasts two whole weeks.
Agent Provocateur in Seattle.
Halftime Lingerie Bowl revival?
I refuse to drink a beer that the words “dilly” in their commercials,
Hard Rule: Consume nothing with a commercial.
Bud Light: “Not for fags”
Let Bell run it in
Looks like that bye week served SEA well.
STRONG TAEK: Seattle’s offense sucks.
There, I said it. Bold words, I know, but I’m standing by them.
Baldwin has been their only WR for years. I think he has earned the right to shove Tom Cable.
So starting first thing tomorrow, I have about 12 gentlemen coming in from Malaysia for training on their cranes that were retrofitted by a third party.
I am sort of dreading this training because I doubt my humor carries over to the culture of these guys. I have no real idea what to bullshit about to these folks during breaks other than the US and Malaysia are both not playing in the next world cup.
They love pai gow.
DAKDAKDAKDAK
Jim, there’s only one stratosphere. So, there can be no “another stratosphere.”
2 turnovers in 1 game for Dallas. NICE.
Oh FFS
Thanks for showing the 2015 Wild Card game, CBS. While you ripping open emotional scars, why don’t you show how I ruined my first relationship and when I suffered from Depression during college?
Taken 4: Taken for a Ride
Liam Neeson starring in “Fuck the Laws of Physics”.
I’m okay with that…
Jimmy Graham also sucks.
he’s just big, that’s really his only skill
I hear he was pretty good at basketball, though.
Heath is hurt who’s 3rd string kicker Switzer or Beasley?
Even after all these years, I am routinely shocked at how awful Rivers’ throwing motion is
It would appear last week represented Real Donks.
Go for it!
Cam Heyward with the perfectly legal Rock Bottom.
Howdy, folks. Just got back from an impromptu camping trip with Lady Maestro. Also added a 10K hike into the mix today as well. I’m fucking beat. Anyone wanna mark my math tests for me, pretty please?
Sorry. Already at the bar grading Shakespeare quizzes
Cowboys missed up passing on TJ Watt.
Mixon and Bernard on the field at the same time?
When did the Bengals get creative?
So with Carson out, did you know that Seattle’s RBs suck? Because they do. They suck.
Holding…Steelers?
Dalton got a bad paw?
Flea Flicker…and dead Dalton.
Fuck the Steelers
but that hide and seek celebration was great
Coach won’t let them play “Doctor”.
Refs won’t give them enough time to bring in a Port-A-Potty.
Kicker Jeff Heath in on the tackle
best substitute kickoff I ever seen
Sean Lee is back?
Only the first half, no need to modify my dead pool.
Lord Bailey is hurt.
Was wondering if they went for 2 just to be dicks
Jimmy Graham is a big pile of shit ,, ppl forget that
I think Graham regressed to college and was trying to dribble the ball.
Hide and Go Seek, Steelers?
Steelers still trying to figure out Red Rover
I still hear talk about Witten not being worthy of the Hall of Fame.
Wow…
JuJuDOWN!!
Fuck Arizona sports.
Dude could have been a Cav but the Suns got greedy.
his grammar game is strong!