As the afternoon slate kicks in, we’re just hitting our stride…
So join me as we gracefully move into the next phase of the day.
Together, nothing can stop us…
Aside from moderately sized obstacles.
Drinking helps…
Also acceptable…
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Cowboy @ Niners (+6.0, o/u 48.5)
The Niners have been close to breaking through (5 straight losses by 3 pts or fewer), CJ Beathard (*snicker*) makes his first NFL start. Zeke Elliott will play won’t play will play, making FF owners happy sad happy folks. But it will be Dak who will be the difference in this one. Cowboys cover, but just barely.
Seahawks @ Giants (+4.0, o/u 39.5)
These are two teams who are similarly fucked. Offensive line woes, compounded by loss of offensive weapons due to injury. The Giants have fewer weapons left, and thus a lower upside. Again, the visitors cover, but just barely.
Broncos @ Chargers (+1.0, o/u 40.5)
Donks a 1 pt dog at the Nawt San Diegans? I don’t care if it’s on the road, take the points. Jeebus.
Bengals @ Steelers (-5.5, o/u 40.5)
I’d like to say the Steelers will stub their toe fresh off the emotional win in Kansas City last week. But they won’t. Bengals will try to get something going with a Joe Mixon/AJ Green tandem, but it won’t happen. LeVeon Bell will be LeVeon Bell, Antonio Brown will be Antonio Brown, and the Yinzers shall take command of the North.
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Now go forth and run thy mouths!!!!!!!!
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Sad thing is the Bengals have Colts and @Jags next.
They could conceivably be 4-4 in two weeks.
Red Rocket failure to lift off.
Fucker just threw it away?
I thought we had 5 downs?
Let me get some garbage time points with AJ green.
Palmer is going to retire right?
Arians will let him start Week 9 if he asks.
please
Goodnight Eli
/SALUTES. HARD.
Even I have to admit, that was a nice play by the Steelers.
JPP couldn’t catch Wilson. I can’t put a finger on why…
Neither can JPP
Oh, for fuck’s sake!
that was just mean as fuck
SAVAGE
As more teams progress to field turf, Chevy and Papa Johns wisely reaching out to the MAGA crowd with ads highlighting America’s dying breed of grass farmers who really have a FEEL for grass and grow it the right way, not just some company making cheap fake grass in China.
Make American Grass Again
I was out of the room and heard some ad talking about growing grass in December in Denver and thought to myself, “Well, it’s legal there now, so if you’ve got a properly heated and illuminated greenhouse I don’t see what the big deal would be.”
Security. Insurers won’t cover them (at least here in Oregon or in Washington, so I assume it’s the same everywhere) because Sessions is an asshole. So people’s farms, especially if there are multiple farms sharing facilities, are getting knocked over because it’s still profitable as fuck to sell illegally.
Wow, the Chargers just chewed up and spat out Siemian
Holy shit I’m surprised Siemian is still alive after that hit.
New plan. Like Shotgun Formation, but put the long snapper in there and have Dalton 15-yard behind the line of scrimmage.
Sniper Formation.
kick a FG on 2nd down, they’ll never see it coming
There’s the shift.
I think Dalton has PTSD
Andy Dalton may kill his offensive line.
Come on, still just shy of a minute left. Go for 50.
PUSSIES
I’m not one to typically use ‘derp’ but that’s the perfect description for these Giants.
just score, you fuckers
Say, who am I playing at QB against tWBS. Why…it’s Russell Wilson!
Yup, I’m pretty much whupped at this point.
Why do I let you fuckers torture me with gifs like this? No wonder Moose went full tentacle.
The Broncos five-bus police-escorted convoy from LAX to Carson cut me off yesterday so I placed a curse upon them. Observe them reaping my vengeance.
tough, but fair
Let this be a warning to others: don’t cut me off
Black Cop looking at the stands, not the play, in NYG will OWN Fox and Friends.
“Truly one of the good ones.” -DJT
That’ll do, Donks. That’ll do.
Lucky for Cincy, Todd Haley is a fucking moron
Bengals Oline: “Hold our beers”
(O Line can’t hold shit)
Cincinnati Radio Play-by-Play Guy got caught on a hot mic saying “Here it comes…” going into the break. Even he knows a Bengals Derp is pending.
TD me thinks
precedent says…TD SeaTruthers
so very Elisha
Are we sure the Bengals want to win these games?
I…I don’t know…
Welp.
Google partners with Verizon.
“Do no evil” is right out the fucking window.
That went away ten years ago when they acquiesced to China’s Great Firewall.
A Rush rush.
He’s short!
shhhh, now you’ve hurt Charmslinger’s fee-fees
How you say…..SHANKLOR?
Man, our country has a lot of terrible companies.
BAD SPOT for Cincy. Such Bullshit!
I like that McAdoo’s team jacket is like the fishing style (with the vents along the back sides).
I haven’t seen Siemen misfire like that since junior prom!
Woo
I smell comeback!
/oh no, somebody just left a plate behind the couch
With all he has to wear, Jason Garret is now got severe lower back problems, bladder cancer, and the sperm count of a Nevada boxing commissioner.
Donks look confused
quack quack Trevor
How is this Sea/NY game only 10-7?
Evan Engram is quite the good footballist.
Methinks if DAK! makes it to the Superb Owl this season, Horatio’s beefcake pic has to grace the rivebrog thread. What do the ppl say?
Make it so
There is only one copy of the calendar in existence and I don’t have the photos but if Dak! Dak! Dak! plays in the Superb Owl you have my word that I will try to make that happen.
/seems like a pretty safe bet.
//one more reason to root against JJ
Burfict needs to make a play
And Bad Andy has showed up
