Your “This is why we do Color Rush” Thursday Night Football Open Thread

Nothing brings excitement to the air like the anticipation of Arizona/Seattle national games!

‘member kickers missing everything in overtime ties? The NFC West ‘members.

The battle for mid-tier rights in a garbage division turns the dial all way up to seven tonight as Russell Wilson and his Duane Brown-reinforced invisible offensive line prepare for a shootout with Adrian Peterson and “The Quarterback Who Held Off BLAINE GABBERT”, Drew Stanton. Aging-but-solid backfields for both squad should provide explosive hits in novelty uniforms and adequate fodder for I HAVEN’T SEEN TWO UGLIES BUMP THIS HARD SINCE _____ takes. So slap on your Kangol and jam an entire Fruit By The Foot into your mouth (just like you jam that Loose Change DVD into your Xbox) and get ready for some football-on-3-days-rest!


This Gen Stat of the Game:

 


Seahawks/Cardinals: Vegas has SEA -5.5 (O/U 41.5). A final score of 18 to 25 seems quite implausible in the modern NFL but it does kind of make sense for these two teams. The redbirds D is a competent matchup for the Seahawks while Arizona’s Drew Stanton-led offense appears (to this sports expert’s surprise) to be alright with focusing on just handing the ball to Adrian Peterson. Seattle (5-3) is a game behind RAMMIT after falling at home to the [*Redacted] s while the Cardinals (4-4) are a paper swan — with half their wins having come against SF –who need to, starting tonight, double-up on SEA and beat RAMMIT during DFO-con to have any real shot at a tie-breaker-based division title playoff birth.


Fantasy Notes: Eddie Lacy is out (groin/overactive chewing) so you’re gonna want to plug n play Thomas Rawls (or, not — ARI has a strong rush D). Dion Jordan is expected to make his first appearance for Seattle because, hey, it’s been a few years since Pete Carroll has gotten some production out of an injury-prone headcase. Only Arizona player worth starting is Peterson so, naturally, I have Fitz plugged in and expect JJ Nelson to record 75% of Drew Stanton 165 yards on the YACs of two passes.


For those of you who aren’t interested in Seizure Rush TNF,  a lean night:

  • JV Football
    • Georgia Southern (0-8) at Appalachian State (5-4) — 7:30PM | ESPNU
    • North Carolina (1-8) at Pittsburgh (4-5) [from Heinz Field] — 7:30PM | ESPN
  • NBA:
    • Cleveland Cavaliers at Houston Rockets — 8:00PM | TNT
    • Oklahoma City Thunder at Denver Nuggets — 10:30PM | TNT
  • Womens Soccer:
    • Canada vs. U.S. — 10:00PM | ESPN2
  • Young Sheldon
    • Poker, Faith, and Eggs — 8:00PM | CBS
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blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
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Sharkbait

Yes. Fuck this week!

Wakezilla

This weather in Vancouver is just the worst. I’m just full of anxiety and generally in a bad mood these days. Had a really bad anxiety attack on Monday or Tuesday.

I noticed a lot of people at work today in an irritable mood.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Random advertisement observation: Flo from Progressive is right in my swim lane.

Shogun Marcus

Seriously folks…you’ve no idea how dark some folk can get. See the light and embrace it. And know you might’ve saved someone from going horizontal instead of vertical. Cheers.

King Hippo

I will re-invest $119.83 of my $512 suck-out funds on VMI +22 in hoopsball tomorrow. Only had to pay +105 in vig, even!

/of course I was happy to get -105 for SEA at -6.0 instead of -115 for -5.5, and look how much money that fucked me out of LOL

Viva La Tabula Raza

I hated calculus in college, but what you describe seems just as complicated.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How many toes do you have left?

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, back to work.
Your Friday spank material ain’t gonna post itself, ya know.
Night folks.

Wakezilla

What’s your theme?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m honoring a request of beerguyrob’s as a sort of sendoff for him.
It’s a surprise.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

VodkaSamm?

King Hippo

PUSH!!!!!

/better than nothing

Doktor Zymm

That’s 100% a win

Col. Duke LaCross

And Shankhor saves Hippo’s ass!

King Hippo

WHEW

/sadly, got my $$ in at -6 so tis just a push, but salvation is salvation

Senor Weaselo

HIPPO EXHALES?

Doktor Zymm

“He may be your dog but he puts his bone in my backyard”

TEE HEE

King Hippo

THIS IS VERY VERY BAD

Sharkbait

Block help?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I guess now is not the best time to tell you that Carolina won?

King Hippo

I am cursed LMAO

Shogun Marcus

Mama Dok, praise be…because I don’t wanna be, without ye, for long.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=gNdnVVHfseA

King Hippo

garbage time has not been my friend the last 10 days

King Hippo

Pete Carroll – wants Hippo ded

King Hippo

don’t be so damned soft, damn it

King Hippo

temporary reprieve

theeWeeBabySeamus

You really need to come to Vegas.
Sunday morning sportsbooking would never be the same.

Sharkbait

I just booked my trip!…January 5-8th. Still counts right?

theeWeeBabySeamus

We’ll leave evidence, I’m sure.

King Hippo

No, this is bad enough.

Doktor Zymm

Lucille Bogan is my new favorite Lucille

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey cool, it worked.
Who cares if it likely won’t make sense to ya?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
King Hippo

GET THE BALL!!!!

King Hippo

here comes the 5-point fucking fuck

litre_cola

Hippo me thinks you are in trouble here.

Doktor Zymm

There was stuff in the 20’s that wouldn’t make a radio edit today….like…not even close

Senor Weaselo

I have not seen much of this game, but I don’t think Drew Stanton is the world’s greatest quarterback.

litre_cola

Kaep would be better, but I didn’t say that as I do not want to lose my NFL watching privileges.

Doktor Zymm

Only on the mug he got for his birthday one year

Romonobyl

Niters all, hopefully Dad will have everything better by Sunday. He also said he wouldn’t miss my piccolo recital last Wednesday and he was no where to be seen. DO YOU HAVE TO WORK LATE EVERY NIGHT?!?!?

Senor Weaselo

If it was a piccolo recital, he heard you. Hell, I think I heard you.

Doktor Zymm

Piccolo recital? Is that what you kids are calling it nowadays? You really shouldn’t ask people to watch that.

King Hippo

Drew Stanton…is really not good.

Doktor Zymm

Hooray for innuendo!

King Hippo

7-minute FG drive, c’mon!!

litre_cola

89 TD

King Hippo

also acceptable

/just get off where garbage time score in final minute costs me $512 (well, double that since I would get my bet back too).

Senor Weaselo

Yes. Yes it is. And there is derpage.

King Hippo

Full Birdcano mode now.

Doktor Zymm

Do kids make Birdcanos for science fairs now?

litre_cola

Douggie B td please Charmslinger, I will buy a case of nanobubbles.

King Hippo

Now, don’t fuck up and allow no backdoor cover action. U noe dat backdoor is sinful, RW!!

Doktor Zymm

So…you’re saying “Put it right here (or keep it out of there)” ??

Senor Weaselo

Is this thing still going on?

JerBear50

My girlfriend asks me that all the time.

King Hippo

Hippo takes it back, Charmslinger. Much wolven love!!

Sharkbait

Where have I seen this movie before….

King Hippo

hey, a well-executed run play!

Doktor Zymm

Moose : yay or nay image?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Which Mission Impossible movie does that scene come from?

Romonobyl

I haven’t had that much to drink yet, but this has affected me more then it should have.

King Hippo

29-10 would feel much, much better guys

King Hippo

ok, even 25-10

Doktor Zymm

So, Betty Boop was like, 1930’s porn?

litre_cola

I do love me some pinup girls. Classy sexy.

JerBear50

Might be 2017 porn depending on what other material I have available.

King Hippo

come on, pickerception

litre_cola

He would not be standing if he tore his achilles tendon.

King Hippo

srsly

Doktor Zymm

Dudes can stand on one leg

litre_cola

I know you are an md but somehow I dont trust your logic here Dok!

Doktor Zymm

Oh, I am not that kind of doktor

0
Romonobyl

Good thing they call me the human tripod!

/no one has called me the human tripod.

King Hippo

That Blindspot abortion is still a thing?

litre_cola

Just give Russ some nanobubbles and some chastity and he will be fine.

King Hippo

It’s like SEA knows I bet on them, and are laying the fuck down.

Doktor Zymm

You aren’t good at this sports betting lark yet, are you?
Don’t think about the teams, think about the other bettors.
Always bet against Notre Dame, even if you haven’t watched college football ever.

King Hippo

I just want to get back reasonably close to even, so I can stop now. It’s embarrassing how bad I am at it.

Doktor Zymm

So, you know how bookies (legal or illegal) make money, right? It’s all off the vig. They don’t need to know who’s gonna win or lose, they only need to know how people are gonna bet. The key to making money is to identify situations where the wisdom of crowds doesn’t hold and there’s an overlay (basically meaning an educated gambler can assess realistic odds that don’t match the offered odds due to the bias of people placing bets.) There frequently won’t be an overlay, or it’ll be small. Or the overlay will still be low odds to come in (for example, a horse is 1:200, but the gambler thinks real odds are more like 1:100). Then you make lots of bets where you have the statistical advantage and over time you make money. It’s hard, but not impossible to avoid getting emotionally involved in individual wins and losses. Volume can help. This is an interesting read about the qualitative aspects : https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00G2KE5SK/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

King Hippo

I do consider teh maths but not quite at that levels (same with poker which I am pretty good at, which makes this money losing endeavour extra frustrate).

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, doing it the real quant way is actually a huge amount of work and (imo) not worth it. It might actually be harder for football b/c we actually follow the sport and know/care about individual outcomes. Hope you’re having fun at least 😀

Romonobyl

In a nutshell, the house always wins?

King Hippo

my thing was going like 1-8 in my first 9 football bets. That would be nigh impossible if one were tossing darts.

King Hippo

Christmas is shit, wrapped in debt toilet paper.

Doktor Zymm

It’s better if you just think of it as the winter solstice celebration. HOORAY THE SUN RETURNS SORTA!

JustStopDude

The NFL concussion protocol is such a fucking joke.

10 second self exams now on the sidelines….okay…

Doktor Zymm

10 second self exams? Did they substitute breast cancer self checks for the concussion protocol?

Romonobyl

I can say this much. After numerous thorough self-examinations, I can confidently report that my penis does not currently suffer from breast cancer.

Doktor Zymm

I mean…you know you are supposed to look for unusually hard bits right?

Romonobyl

Define unusually…

litre_cola

I wish there was a like button.

Sharkbait

FINE! We’ll put him in the tent you fucks!

*10 seconds later*

SEE! He’s fine!

Romonobyl

‘How many fingers am I holding up?”
“I’M A PIRATE!”
“Close enough, get back out there!”

Doktor Zymm

Grammatical, correct use of punctuation, he’s BETTER THAN FINE!

Brocky

Hot Taek to end all hot taeks:

Pat Tillman likely suffered from CTE

King Hippo

Went from working for the Bidwell family to working for the Bush family…yep, I’d say your theory checks out.

Brocky

so….no more likes on the site? I know i haven’t been home lately but….oof

Doktor Zymm

Is there some sort of portmanteau for CTE and PTSD? CTSD?

Doktor Zymm

Also, damn, that’s a depressing Veteran’s Day type thought.

Brocky

I was teammates with a guy who took his own life after getting out of the marines.

Pisses me off that everyone I’ve talked to about it seems to think that he had either 1 disorder or the other, no combination of the two

Doktor Zymm

It does seem like it would be a brutal bitch of a combo. And considering the lack of research on both conditions individually, I doubt they’ve even gotten to considering them together.

Doktor Zymm

OH THE PAGINATION!

Doktor Zymm

So….

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Pete Carroll asks random women, “Can jet fuel melt steel beams?” Regardless of the answer, he then puts an Alex Jones mask on them as cranks it furiously.

King Hippo

I mean, what woman wouldn’t consent to THAT?

Doktor Zymm

Well how else are you going to start a Model T to make your escape?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Welp.

Doktor Zymm

You copying the embed code?