2017 Quotables – Week 10 (Submissions)

blaxabbath

blaxabbath

I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
blaxabbath

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Week 10 eh? We’re really starting to separate the wheat from the chaff. Or, maybe in the context of the 2017 season, the Eagles from the chaff and poisonous chaff. Speaking of chaff, this is apparently the makeup of Joe Haden’s fibula as the mf-er broke and we continue to add to the list of broken 2017 NFL players.

But you know what’s a positive product of wheat? Semolina. You may be most familiar with it as Cream of Wheat (save the lecture, Yeah Right). It’s starting to cool off here so I’m all about the jackets and hot bowls of gritlike substances these days. But how does this relate to NFL Week 10? Well, porridge is basically the destiny of this week’s concussion victims: Ryan Grant, Jacoby Brissett, Jeff Heath, and Pacman Jones. Not Russell Wilson though; Coach Pete knows concussion evaluation tents are just another scam pushed by the autism-inducing Big Inoculation lobbyists.

Well, gifs should be loaded by now. Make me proud, folks .


Open with some classic Quotables action.

This is from the MNF fixture.

Brock Osweiler is a leader.

Mr L.A. always has something to say.

49ers won (over the Giants so….)

Here’s the action in Buffalo.

Browns played again exactly as expected to a loss.

I love a good fan gif.

 

blaxabbath
blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.

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2017 Quotables – Week 10 (DELAYED AGAIN Results) – [DOOR FLIES OPEN]BrockyHoratio CornblowerJerBear50blaxabbath Recent comment authors
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Horatio Cornblower

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I haven’t seen a lion take down a brown like that since I watched ‘The Ghost And The Darkness’

Brocky

oof. good one

Horatio Cornblower

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TOO MANY MEN ON THE FIELD MY ASS!!! IT’S TAKE YOUR CHILDREN TO WORK DAY AND THOSE 11 ARE HALF OF MINE!!!

JerBear50
JerBear50

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Good to see Kellen Winslow getting another shot at the league.

Petronel
Petronel

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Random Fin: Uh, Coach? Didn’t want to say anything but…that drunk guy in Tampa did it better yesterday.

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Jets Fan: Wasn’t good here either.

Petronel
Petronel

(OK, let’s see if I can get this to work…)

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Deatrich Wise: Hey, Tommy – can I haz that bounty money now?

TB12: (loud whisper) SHHHHH! Wrong guy, dumbass! You’re a year and a half too late!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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I haven’t seen a twenty target a seven like that since Roy Moore was in college.

Horatio Cornblower

Oh that’s good.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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More like LeBrock Osweiler, amirite?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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COACH GASE: Can’t…stop…doing…the monkey.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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COP: Can you describe the person who assaulted you?

GRANT: [grimaces]

Game Time Decision

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I CALL THIS GUY A JERRY’S GIRL AS HE GOES DOWN WAY TO EASY

Enrico Pallazzo

Kyle Shanahan will never forget the day that he met Peter North.

LemonJello
LemonJello

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Here we have a modern interpretation of how the Old World invaders impacted the inhabitants of the New World.

LemonJello
LemonJello

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“That guy has some anger issues.” – Ndamukong Suh

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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“Sorry, Phil, but since BOLTMAN has stopped threatening to purée my children, I can’t justify giving you that call anymore.”

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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With the NFL bringing back Damnatio ad Bestias, ratings are sure to turn around!

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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Brock Lobster has evolved into Brock Flounder!

SonOfSpam

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More like Kizer SoSlayed amirite?

LemonJello
LemonJello

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“Yup” *spits chaw* “This’n here bronc is bout ready fer da dadgummed glue factory.” *spits chaw again*

LemonJello
LemonJello

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One thing you can say, those 49ers are well hydrated.
/That’s not water they’re throwing

Game Time Decision

Houston 500, Part II, The squirters

LemonJello
LemonJello

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“When you break your tailgating table, who do you call? Call 1-888-DRTABLE! That’s 1-888-DRTABLE!”

nomonkeyfun

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“Oh man, I hope Josh gets off suspension soon, I hear he has the best stuff. Oh, shit, was I supposed to do something on this play.”

-David Njoku

SonOfSpam

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Osweiler’s a cinch for the lead in Mamet’s new one-act play “Barbaro at the Preakness”

nomonkeyfun

“Affirmed”

-Dee Mirich

LemonJello
LemonJello

“Neigh”
-Secretariat

King Hippo

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Confirmed! CJ Cregg is a squirter!!

nomonkeyfun

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nomonkeyfun

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The BART police are interesting in trading for Linval Joseph after that shot on a Grant.

LemonJello
LemonJello

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Even Marlin Perkins finds this lion attack to be gratuitous.

SonOfSpam

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Personally, I found the Bills’ salute to Eric Garland a bit tacky.

LemonJello
LemonJello

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“Broseph, keep that MRSA-filled ‘batin hand away from me.”

nomonkeyfun

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Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior?

SonOfSpam

WELL? HAVE YA? HUH?? WHAT??????

SonOfSpam

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When you start to question your choice of teams and Lucky Pierre cohorts.

SonOfSpam

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“Uh, coach? That’s not how they wanted us to acknowledge Autism Awareness Month.”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Exhibit A in why iit’s more important to have guaranteed contracts for the Commissioner than the players

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Pretty sure Osweiler was just trying to show everybody the hottest new dance craze

BrettFavresColonoscopy

See also:

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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COME ON, REF, IF I WANTED TO GET HURT PLAYING WITH LOOSE PUSSIES I COULD HAVE STAYED AT HOME

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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John Fox couldn’t successfully manage a challenge with Lovie Smith’s flags, Andy Reid’s focus, and Bea Arthur’s dick

LemonJello
LemonJello

This is a Quotable of extra-ordinary magnitude!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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All those guys kneeling on Veterans Day SMDH

Game Time Decision

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I CALL THIS GUY MONEY SHOT, AS HE TOOK IT RIGHT IN THE FACE

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Great minds

Game Time Decision

haha, not sure if that’s a compliment or not

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Right in the eye? Come on, we aren’t the 500s.

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

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Still gentler than the shove out the door that the Texans and Browns gave him.

Game Time Decision

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after many year of practice, this was coach’s best attempt at “cabbage patching”
/ or is that a seizure?

The Maestro

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I thought Eleven was how you ended up in the Upside Down… not 98…

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

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So the team didn’t even care enough to throw the full cooler?

Petronel
Petronel

Yep – even our Gatorade splashes are half-assed these days. (We’re out of practice.)

Game Time Decision

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Shown here is the entirety of his concussion check during the game

Game Time Decision

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ding,ding,ding,ding
Tilt
/Game over.

Game Time Decision

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Milks misshapen cow

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

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My two year old child would have been ashamed of throwing that hissy fit.

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

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Lief Erickson approves.

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

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You sure this game was not played in a Coliseum?

Redshirt

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Part 1 of 2

Redshirt

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Part 2 of 2

Redshirt

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James Harrison was fined $250K and Vontaze Burfict was suspended three games for that hit.